Cruel and Unusual Punishment

[birthmural]

Daimon Hellstrom, the Son of Satan, was not present during the orchestrated attempt to take the captive Yeerk's life. That did not stop him from going to the precinct, to the prisoners, and delivering a sermon that was a great deal more fire and brimstone than most sermons, if not all.

The topic, if you could distinguish a coherent basis for Daimon's mad words, was centered around the ever popular Good Samaritan story. Daimon told the prisoners of the background of the Good Samaritan, how Samaritans were viewed as the enemy back then, and how the Samaritan had helped a man despite the hatred both peoples bore for the other.

But it was hard to focus on that given how loud he was. That and how his hair was periodically engulfed by flame.

Comments

[mrsarcastic003]

"And there's no need for name-calling," Tim adds, raising an eyebrow. "We were just curious. Doesn't your hair burn?"

[birthmural]

"I DO NOT URINATE FIRE! My hair does not burn it is soulfire!"

[daaayum.livejournal.com]

"I think you're just cranky 'cause it burns when you pee."

[mrsarcastic003]

"Probably," Tim agrees, watching the preacher impassively. "Maybe that's why he practically froths at the mouth when he delivers a sermon. He's mad about the burning pee, and he has to share his rage with the world."

[birthmural]

If he didn't froth at the mouth before he was now.

"I DO NOT URINATE FIRE!"

[daaayum.livejournal.com]

"Poor guy," Leela tsks softly. "That's why you gotta wrap it when you tap it."

[mrsarcastic003]

Tim nods solemnly. "This is what happens when sex ed is abstinence only. You don't get the condom on the banana lesson."

[birthmural]

"I do NOT have a sexually transmitted disease! I have not touched a woman. I am a virgin!"

[daaayum.livejournal.com]

"Geez, it burns when you pee and you ain't gotten laid. You poor bastard."

[mrsarcastic003]

Tim winces. "What is it, then? The immaculate STD? Man, that sucks. No wonder you're so pissed. I'd be pretty pissed, too. You're doing the time, without having done the crime."

[patsy-walker.livejournal.com]

Well, this is all kinds of awkward.

Patsy Walker's face was pale as she stood behind Daimon.

Uh.

How long has she been standing there?

And how much has she heard?

Blink blink.

Blink blink blink.

Blink.

"Well, this is all kinds of awkward."

[birthmural]

...

...

.........

"Hello Patsy."

[patsy-walker.livejournal.com]

"..."

"...."

"....."

Patsy waves feebly and sheepishly.

[daaayum.livejournal.com]

She has a good laugh at 'you're doing the time without having done the crime," and that laughter only increases with Patsy's appearance.

"Lady, do you know this guy? You gotta make sure you never do him, 'cause he's got like some kinda magical STD from an angel or something, and it'll make you pee fire."

She's just...having way too much fun with this. But that's what the dude gets for sermonizing at them.

[birthmural]

"...Please excuse me." Daimon swiftly moved past Patsy and for the exit.

It was not often that the Son of Satan blushed, especially such a bright shade of red.