trans_9 | Alcohol, the alternative to feeling like myself

The world was busy, and so fast. Always moving faster then Orc could move, or think. It seemed like life was passing in the slow solid blinks of his beady little eyes.

Ever since Howard's death he didn't feel as compelled to be useful. To take care of himself. What was the point really? They were all going to die sooner or later. And it's not like he deserved that second chance Howard was always going on about.

Howard...how long had it been? Between the drinking and Stacy's own peculiar grasp of time he had lost track.

But it didn't matter. All that mattered was forgetting. Forgetting where he was, forgetting what he was. Forgetting about Howard, Betty, home.

And so he kept drinking. And he kept moving. To stay in one place for too long risked trouble. People finding him, feeling bad for him. They were just being nice. But he didn't deserve nice. Not after what he'd done.

The city was perfect for this because there was so much of it. He didn't move fast, and he got tired easily. But he had plucked the beertree clean and drug a cooler with him. One of Howard's last gifts. Maybe Howard had more beer in the warehouse...he would have to stop there and see.

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"All right."

Kaya gazed at him a moment. A part of her, she knew, was still trying to get over the loss of Howard, so it wasn't a big jump to assume she was only doing this to ease her conscience. But the more she watched him, the more she wanted to do MORE, thought that the ship could offer him more than just being drunk. She understood he was a kid of the FAYZ, that he was NOT Howard and coped with things his own way. Was that really fair?

Could she be all right just leaving him alone and assuming he would be ok?

"Orc," she said, "if there's a place you ever want to hang, or just want to get away from people...here."

She handed him a key card. "In the city you'll find a big bus, its where I live. The only way you can get in is with this card. It's a magic bus, bigger than it looks. As long as you don't trash the place...you're welcome here, ok?"

Orc looked at the card, then at her "A magic bus?" It seemed funny to him that a magic bus seemed odd after everything else he'd seen and been through. Then again there was that TV show about the magic bus from when he was a kid. Maybe this one transformed too.

He didn't know if he would ever use it but he pocketed the card. Kaya was a good person, too good for her to be wasting time on someone like him. "Thank you, you're really nice."

"You'll know it when you see it, trust me," Kaya laughed. "The guy who owned it was really nice too. I wish you had a chance to meet him. It was really hard to not like him, actually."

And Kaya would know, likely more than most people.

"Just don't be afraid to ask me to hang, ok? I won't be able to every time, with working at medbay and all, but I'll do my best!"

Orc looked back at the card thinking hard, or at least it looked that way with his brow furrowed in concentration.

"Why?" He asked finally.

Good question.

"Because," she finally said, "no one should have to be alone."

Something about that simple sentence was heartbreaking.

"Maybe." He grunted and began to trudge away. "Maybe not."

But he held the card tight as he struggled with conflicting emotions.

Alcohol, the alternative to feeling like myself

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