trans_9 | quest selected: glad to be unhappy [open; backdated options]

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quest selected: glad to be unhappy [open; backdated options]

Who: Elle (Courier Six) and YOU
Where: Anywhere you want, though these are specific locations that'll be popping up: Hydroponics, the Garibah Tree, the Public Bathroom in the City, and a wall near the Level 5 Sleeping Halls teleporter. And, for the sake of narration, the Lucky 38. The Drunken Dragon Tavern will be added later!
When: Any time ranging from shortly after the podpops to the past week or so.
Summary: Elle has been occupying herself by exploring the ship, especially the City. I'm going to set this post up in a bit of a weird way, with the OP being a general exploring post, and then threads for specific locations, just to make things clean and easily organized. Feel free to tag into any of the threads unless it's marked as [CLOSED], and you can start your own thread with Elle set in another location of your choosing if you'd like! These settings are just starting points, in a way.
Warnings: None?

Elle is certain there are better things she could be doing, but... Unbeknownst to her, spending an endless amount of time exploring the Ship and its City has become her coping mechanism. She hasn't quite realized just how hard this whole situation has hit her. The knowledge that her home, the world she had learned to love again, even after everything that happened there, was gone... Knowing that most of the people she'd met probably hadn't been saved... Maybe she's still in shock. Maybe she's subconsciously delaying the information from truly, fully sinking in. But, regardless, she thinks she's fine. Which is why she wonders why she's still doing it. But everything else in her mind is telling her to keep poking her head around, and she's learned to listen to her instincts, so... Exploring it is.

Elle has managed to get herself a dress made a few weeks after her podpop, at the very least. There's a part of her that feels particularly naked without her combat armor, but she doesn't want to run around the ship wearing it -- it makes her seem more heavily armed, and that's not exactly good for making friends. Her dress and her Pre-War Hat will do her just fine, thank you very much, and it's much more comfortable. (Of course, she still has her shotgun slung over her back and a bag filled with extra ammo and her teddy bear over her shoulder. She may not be wearing her armor, but at least she'll be able to fight.)

The small Courier can be found everywhere publicly accessible on the Ship, though it's much more common to find her somewhere in the City. There's a lot more to ~~distract herself with~~ explore there, after all.

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When she speaks, her voice is oddly flat and toneless. "If they commit one unforgivable crime... They're probably going to commit more. The only thing to do... is to stop them from ever doing it again."

She starts trembling. People can change, though, pleads a small voice in her head. What gives us the right to decide if they deserve that?

"They hurt us," she answers herself aloud. "So it's only fair... that they pay the price. Isn't it?"

An eye for an eye just leads to a blind world, whimpers the small voice. Where do we draw the line? What makes anything right?

It's at this point she realizes that she's shaking and can't stop.

Sirius's eyes widened. It disturbed him to think that he had prompted this with one thoughtless remark. He put his other hand on her shoulder and shook her ever so slightly.

"It is." He didn't really know more about her story other than she had been shot in the head but he was sure she needed to hear that. Sirius was all for redemption in the theoretical. In practice...

"He's not going to hurt anyone else. Sometimes we have to take justice into our own hands."

Inside he started to wonder- was he fooling himself thinking he could kill Peter without any remorse? Or deep down was he really just another cold hearted Black? Was there something missing inside of him?

Pettigrew killed James and Lily. He made Harry an orphan. He murdered those Muggles and got you sent to Azkaban.

He was your friend. James wouldn't have wanted this.

Sirius frowned and shook his head as though it would brush away his thoughts.

"That doesn't make you a bad person." He continued.

Sirius had killed before- always in self defense. The first time he'd ever killed someone, after the fight was over and he'd returned home he was sick for half the night. He recognized Elle's look from what he had seen of himself in the mirror, after washing the vomit from his face. It hurt to see her like that, even if they had just met.

She thinks of the Legion, of what they did to Nipton. Of the men on the crosses. Of Mr. House and all he offered her, of all he was trying to do for people, for New Vegas. Of how Benny was going to kill him.

"I... didn't have a choice," she says, almost more to herself than to Sirius. Her eyes are still on the floor. "If I didn't... Those people would've burned more towns to the ground. And he... He would've..." She has to admit this. "I wasn't willing to lose everything again. I didn't want him to take it all away from me again." That's why she killed him, just as much as or even more than it was for revenge.

That doesn't make you a bad person, Sirius told her.

The conflicting sides of her are beginning to blur at the edges.

"Sometimes... You have to kill." There's a pause. "Actually... It's inevitable where I come from. Powder Gangers... Vipers... the Legion... There are people who want to hurt or kill you." Another pause. "Is there such a thing as... pre-emptive revenge?" She laughs a little, hollowly. Killing the Legion, she can convince herself to accept. She saw what they did to Nipton. She wasn't going to let them do that again if she could help it. If she's allowed to do that for other people... Why can't she do that for herself?

"Whether there is or not there's such a thing as protecting people. That's more important." He had no idea what Elle was talking about but he knew that there was no way burning a town could possibly be justified. Whatever Elle had gone through it had to be terrible.

"And... if that fails... there's revenge." Not that he'd been lucky enough to get that far.

There -- That is something she can latch on to. That is something she can assure herself is good, without a doubt. Protecting people.

She smiles.

"Thank you. We don't even know each other's names, but you've been so kind..." She laughs, embarrassed, a little weakly. "It's a lot of heavy things to hear from a stranger."

He withdrew his hands form her shoulders smiled back, grateful that he was finally able to say something of comfort.

"We'll have to fix that. My name is Sirius Black."

"Elle -- Elle Days."

She hesitates, then, out of habit more than anything else, she offers her hand for a shake. Hey, it's polite, right?

Sirius shook her hand. "Well then, it's good to meet you."

He thought briefly of apologizing for getting them discussing revenge but decided against it. "Sorry" was in his vocabulary but that didn't mean he liked to use it often. Besides, she was smiling now.

"It's nice to meet you, too, Sirius." Her smile turns sheepish. "Sorry you had to deal with... that." Whatever he wants to call that conversation.

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "I shouldn't have brought it up. I won't make the same mistake again." He paused. "Unless you want to talk about it at some point."

Sirius didn't normally make that offer. He was sympathetic true, just not usually to people he just met. But if there was one thing he understood it was loss and revenge. And while those were intensely private emotions to him, there was an equally intense, if unrealized, need to tell someone.

"No, no, it's okay. Really. I..." She hesitates. "I haven't talked to anyone about it before. Not like this. And... I don't think it's a bad thing. To talk about it, I mean. Sometimes, though, it's hard to know what to say."

She lifts her eyes to make eye contact with Sirius, if only briefly, as if she's making a point with what she's saying next. "So that's why I think it's best to just... start talking."

Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. It was his turn to avoid eye contact. When he made the offer he hadn't really expected Elle to take him up on it, at least not then. But he couldn't go back on it. He'd heard some of what was bothering Elle and fair was fair.

I got my best friend and his wife killed.

"One of my best friends betrayed us."

I made my godson an orphan.

"He killed a dozen people and framed me for the murders."

Elle is struck speechless for a moment. At least Benny wasn't a close contact of hers. (... She hopes not. He would have reacted differently to her, and House would have already known her. ... Right? They didn't... No, no, no doubting this kind of thing. And it doesn't matter. What's done is done, right? Ironically, that's what she's going to have to tell herself to make herself stop pursuing that train of thought.)

"I'm... I'm so sorry," she finally says. After a moment of hesitation, she slowly reaches out to touch his shoulder, but lightly. "That's terrible. Do you know... why...?"

Sirius shrugged. "He was scared." But they were all scared. Every single one of them, even if they never admitted it. Fear didn't excuse what he did. "He knew that if he didn't do something I was going to kill him and if he didn't frame me then the Ministry would send him to Azkaban."

Sirius had to wonder if he had taken more time, been more cautious, stopped to think just for a moment, maybe then the people Peter killed would still be alive. All of them, not just James and Lily, all the deaths that had happened if only he had become Secret Keeper. He would have died. They would have found him but it didn't matter. In many ways, he had died all ready.

He was scared.

Elle thinks again of the Legion. She can see something like this happen back home, if it hasn't already. She thinks of Nipton, of what that Frumentarii said (she's tried so hard to forget). Each clutched his ticket, hoping it would set him free. Each did nothing, even when "loved ones" were dragged away to be killed. Cowardly... They outnumbered us, yet not once did they try to resist. They stood and watched as their fellows were butchered, crucified, and burned, one by one. Then, she didn't want to believe it. She couldn't accept it. Surely, someone must have fought back, only to have been struck down. But, looking back, she later realized that the people of Nipton weren't selfish, like Vulpes Inculta made it sound like. They were just... scared.

"Fear..." she murmurs. "It can motivate people to do things they normally wouldn't, whether it's with action or inaction. But... It doesn't always excuse what they've done."

"No, it doesn't."

Sirius had spent the better part of his life watching what people did because of fear. He saw what people could do to each other first hand if they thought their life was in danger. But to sell out your best friend, his wife, and their child. Harry had only been a baby, scarcely more than a year. Sirius had been just as scared as Peter and he had no idea how anyone could ever...

"Fourteen people are dead because he was afraid." Funny, he had said a dozen a moment ago.

Although when Sirius thought about it more he had to think that it was more than just Peter's fear. Sirius didn't have as good a handle over his own as he made out. Fear drove him to suspect the completely wrong person. He'd thought that the traitor was Remus when he had never, would never... Sirius had set Peter up perfectly for the crimes.

Sirius ran a hand through his long hair. So much went wrong. So much guilt.

Elle watches him for a long moment. The way he's acting, the way he's talking, how it's almost as if he's trying to explain away what his ex-friend did...

"It isn't your fault," she says quietly. She knows she doesn't know the whole story, she doesn't know everything that happened. But that doesn't change this. "His actions are his own."

Sirius laughed but it was mirthless. He shook his head and turned away from Elle.

"Oh, you don't know the half of it. None of it would have happened if it hadn't been for me." Sirius threw out his hands as he spoke. He started pacing back and forth.

"I set it all up for him, thought it was my best plan and then he-" Sirius made a gesture like he was choking someone. "Merlin! What a fool I was."

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quest selected: glad to be unhappy [open; backdated options]

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[Perception: 8]

I always went with intelligence >.>