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People disappeared all the time.

It was a fact that Mami knew quite well. First it had been Madoka. She had came back, for that one brief day. But she had been taken away from them just as quickly. That first time felt like someone had ripped her still-beating heart straight out of her chest. The second time wasn't much better either. Then it had been Sayaka, in the midst of the confusion with SHODAN. By then the pain had dulled a little, so perhaps Mami was adapting to it. Then Homura was returned to the pods, only a short time after they had established... something. Mami still wasn't sure what it was, but it had been nice.

Then Madoka had returned, right around the time Homura was repodded. It helped dull that pain, and Mami was so happy. But at the same time, she was worried. She had suffered through her friends leaving several times over the months she'd been on the ship, and she didn't want to deal with that again. But she couldn't just stay away from Madoka. Her friend needed her, just like she needed Madoka. So going against her common sense, she proceeded to enjoy the weeks following Madoka's return.

So when she awoke and noticed the bed opposite hers was vacant, and after she spent the entire day reaching out and trying to grasp even a hint of that new yet familiar magical energy... something broke in her. But she didn't cry. She didn't scream. She didn't lash out in pain or frustration or anger, like she might have months ago. It's like she's been submerged under water. Everything is muted; her surroundings, her thoughts... even the pain in her chest - which she's sure should be reaching an unbearable level at this point - is just a dull ache.

She doesn't know how long she wandered the ship after that. She doesn't acknowledge any fellow crew members who might pass by - and should they, it doesn't take much to notice something's... off, about the girl. She moves mechanically, like a puppet slowly being dragged by its strings.

Eventually, Mami ends up in the Obs Deck, slouched over on one of the many chairs scattered throughout it. She's rolling her Soul Gem absently between her fingers, watching the gathering dark blotches in the golden glow. The light from the gem doesn't seem to reflect in her eyes, either, which gives her a bit of an eerie look right now. Do you dare to approach?

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Of course he does.

"Hey," Zouichi said, taking a seat on one of the chairs nearby. He didn't usually sit in these things -- too fleshy, too organic, and besides, he was used to standing -- but Mami didn't seem in the mood to have a standing conversation. "You all right?"

Mami doesn't turn to look at Zouichi when he sat. In fact, her eyes never left her Soul Gem. But she did hear him, and spoke in a voice that was as dull as her eyes.

"I'll be fine."

It's true, isn't it? It was just like those other times. Her parents left her, Kyouko left her, and now every one of her new friends left her. It was something she was used to by now. She'll get over it...

"Meaning you're not fine now." A statement or a question? It was unclear. In any case, Zouichi wasn't really qualified to offer grief counseling -- or any sort of counseling, really. He was a bioweapon, not a trained health professional. Nor was it really his business what was bothering her, if she didn't care to share it.

But it would be unethical to simply leave her here, wallowing in her pain.

So he merely sat in silence with her for a little while. Perhaps she'd feel like elaborating. If not, perhaps she'd appreciate the company.

"But I will be."

All she needed was time. Time to pull herself back to the surface, to push all the negativity back and hide once more behind her calm, perfect mask. Unhealthy? It certainly was. But it was the only way Mami knew how to deal with things like this.

That seemed like a reasonable way to deal with one's emotional angst.

"So who's gone?" he asked, trying to find a comfortable position in the accursed gooshy flesh chair. That was usually the deal, wasn't it? Someone was repodded, and their friends were left trying to figure out what to do in their absence.

Mami mentally kicked herself when he asked that. Somewhere a part of her knew that she was probably much easier to read than usual, but to hit the nail on the head just like that was still annoying.

"A friend from home. Madoka Kaname."

Zouichi might think that name is familiar. In the pod caverns, during SHODAN's attempted takeover...

Nope. Didn't ring any bells. He'd been busy offing robutts and trying to keep Tim from... whatever bizarre downward slide Tim had been going through.

"Afraid I was never able to meet her. My condolences." Of course, there was no way for him to tell if she meant repodded or gone for good. Not with recent events, anyhow. "Was it only the two of you on the ship? From your world, I mean."

[Maria peered up from her scribblings on a note pad to look at the other girl, tilting her head a bit. She knew that look, it wasn't a good look but she had it for years.]

"Um, if you want I can do this work elsewhere. Or something."

"Do whatever you want."

Mami didn't care. She didn't even notice the other girl was there until she spoke up, so as long as she didn't bother her, she wasn't going to make the girl move.

[Maria shrugs a bit]

"All right. Just let me know. Sometimes it can be infuriating to have your silence ruined."

[She goes back to scribbling on her notepad]

Mami probably won't hear the sound of a cart rolling through the observation deck. It's a bright-colored pony pushing a cart with her nose. Atop the cart rested a barrel with a small tap. She's taking a barrel of some drink or another somewhere.

But wherever it was going, it could wait. She spots a human looking awfully sad, like all the fight's gone from her. That just won't do at all! The barrel and pony change directions, approaching Mami in a dangerously teetering pile.

That... that certainly snaps Mami out of her funk. Sort of. Everything is still seen and felt through that strange, muted filter, but surprise does manage to momentarily cut through her depression. Sure, she's been on the ship long enough to see some pretty strange stuff, but... ponies? Now that is pretty unusual.

"Er... hello there."

"Howdy!" The pony answered her cheerfully, disregarding how odd this might seem. Not all the humans were used to talking ponies yet, but she hoped to get them used to it sooner than later.

"Say, I'm bringing this over to a friend of mine, but I haven't had a chance to try it yet. Want a taste?" she asked, gesturing toward the barrel with her head.

Oh wow it talked. Another thing that really shouldn't surprise her, but it did anyway.

"Ah, no... if it's for your friend, it should go right to them."

"She's got plenty more! This is just a topper. Go on, it's all right," Applejack promised.

Please don't make her do a Pinkie Promise, Mami. That road just led to silliness.

Of course Kais chooses to approach. Mostly because he doesn't understand feelings in the way humans do. But he is interested in that glowing gem. If it was just technology, it was nothing special but he learned you couldn't underestimate a single thing on this ship. The only thing was to approach and speak to her in his stunted human speech, which filtered out through a speaker in his helmet.

"Hello...."

Yeah, that was lame.

"Hello."

Mami nodded in greeting, but didn't take her eyes off the gem in her hand. There was no other acknowledgment, no attempt to start a conversation. Her thoughts obviously weren't here, so that might make things difficult.

It was enough for him to be acknowledged, whether or not she looked. The programming in his armor frantically scanned the gem and returned nothing so he knew one thing; he was glad he was interested. Maybe a little individuality for a member of the Tau would pay off somehow. Not that he would ever be praised for it. Too bad he was still oblivious to Mami's own feelings.

"What is that in your hands?"

"A Soul Gem. The source of my magical power, to put it simply."

She stops rolling it between her fingers, instead closing them around the egg-shaped item. When it all boiled down to it, this was the source of everything that had happened to her. If she had refused Kyuubey's deal, she would have died. If she had died, she wouldn't have been forced to fight monsters, she wouldn't have befriended the others, wouldn't have been taken aboard the ship and had them torn away from her time after time...

"Magic." It was what he was thinking it was. "Magic is frightening." Considering he had seen the worst results of 'magic' in his own world, he felt entitled enough to say that. Kais really wished he could forget that portion of his life.

Mami laughs, a humorless and almost harsh sound. Her magic may not seem frightening, but the truth behind it, what would happen if she neglected her duty... hoo boy.

"Many things are. It's useful, though."

"Many things can be explained. Magic...it cannot. Unpredictable." He lets his statement rest there. A society founded on technology and equality like the Tau will always find magic out of place and much too dangerous for society.

Fuu never got tired of watching the swirling colors of the Bleed. It was like a constant aurora surrounding the ship, and she had taken to going there whenever she started to feel cooped-up in the Media Library.

Now was one of those times. She'd brought reading pad with C++ For Dummies loaded onto it. It would be no good asking to join Programming with a knowledge of programming from 1993. But she paused when she saw the Mami's distinctive curled ponytails. Although Fuu didn't know her very well, she did like her.

When she walked around the couch, she was dismayed to see how horribly unhappy Mami's manner seemed. She was fiddling with what looked like a giant topaz, but not a very pure one. And it gave off light--but the magic item wasn't the concern now. "Hello, Mami-san." Fuu kept her voice polite, not letting the concern creep in intrusively. "Is it all right if I sit here too?"

"Do what you wish." Mami said. While she still hasn't taken her eyes off the gem in her hands, the familiar voice does manage to get a smile out of her. A smile that in no way reached her dull eyes, so it probably came off a bit creepy.

Blatantly fake smiles are pretty creepy indeed. Still, Fuu sat on the chair opposite her, wondering how to frame her words so as not to sound nosy.

"You look rather pale," she said after a moment. "Are you feeling unwell?"

That soul gem looks stealable. Not that Howard has any idea what he'd do with it if he got his hands on it, but it's glowy and glowy things hold a special place in Howard's heart. About seven months of living without electricity means that any source of light has some value to him. The dark is scary. All sorts of awful things might be creeping around in the corners of the dark.

The downside is that swiping things that glow is pretty difficult unless the other person has already pocketed it, and is assuming it's safe. So this might be a challenge.

At this point he's gotten very good at acting casual when he's looking to make a steal, so it would be difficult to tell he's got his eye on the gem unless you know him well enough to realize that he has no reason to walk up to Mami, sit next to her, and ask "hey, you okay? You look kind of glum."

Good thing Mami, even in her normal state of mind, tends to keep people at arm's length. It might be a little harder with the way she is now, but it hasn't changed.

"I'll be fine."

Her voice is flat. Not really annoyed, but it's clear that she's not too keen on talking right now.

"You don't look fine. You look pouty." Howard doesn't bother to sugar his words. He doesn't have any interested invested in actually cheering Mami up.

"As I said, I will be fine." If he wasn't going to be polite, neither did she. She realized by now that sitting out in a public place was a bad idea; the people on this ship were incredibly nosy, for one reason or another. So it's her own fault he was bothering her, yes, but she didn't have to keep up her cheerful big sis facade up up all the time.

"Suit yourself." Howard shrugs. No water off his back. "What's the glowy thing?"

Because it would be a dead giveaway that he wants it to not at least acknowledge its presence.

And Carson approaches, too. Despite never meeting Mami before, he can't ignore someone who doesn't look right.

"Uh, excuse me, miss... Are you... Are you alright?"

Does she dare? Does the Bleed give you a headache to watch?

There's a figure settling down in a chair next to her, and turning to her with a quiet smile. "Something on your mind, Mami-chan?"

Mami looks up briefly when the woman sits next to her, but her expression doesn't change at all before her gaze falls back to her Soul Gem. "Not really."

Silly Mami. Hiding things from Nanoha is never a good idea.

Nanoha's smile is quiet and muted, almost sheepish. "You can't say that with that expression and expect me to believe it, can you?"

"What's wrong?"

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