Office Hours [Open, everyone feel free to bother GLaDOS]

[fabricaketions]

One of the Sensoriums is active. Inside it's been made to look like a spacious office. A whole wall of windows opens up on a bright but indistinct cityscape. The decor is sleek and modern, though the predominant black and white with no color is perhaps a bit too stark. Some absolutely untouched-looking books sit on a shelf and a plant that is far too green to be real sits in the window collecting dust. There are barely audible stirrings of bad office muzak that are not entirely blocked out by the walls. It's all very sterile and feels off, like it's been put together by someone with a precise list of things that an office is but no understanding of what it's like to be in one.

Suspended over the desk is a gigantic robot.

It glares balefully at anyone who looks in. Or at least it seems to, thanks to that yellow "eye" in its "face".

"Oh. Hello. Come in. Make yourself at home," GLaDOS says. Under her attempt at a flat tone is the faintest hint of resentment.

She does not want to be here. At all.

Comments

[fabricaketions]

GLaDOS was, on the one hand, always pleased to strike fear or awe in people. On the other, it would have been fine with her if no one came to stare at her.

"Yes?" she put in, a little more sharply than was polite.

[moms_temperment]

Hana began half-jogging around her, to get a better grasp of her size, still totally blown the complexity to the machine infront of him.

"Look at you! You're freaking amazing!"

[fabricaketions]

GLaDOS twisted around in an effort to keep facing Hana, a little bewildered.

"Yes. I am a very sophisticated machine," she agreed. "Do you need something, crewman?"

[moms_temperment]

He stopped to think about her question. "Erm... Well, I didn't really come here for anything." He grinned and shrugged. "But since I'm here I might aswel as some questions, huh?"

[fabricaketions]

"I am positively riveted by the prospect, crewman. Do fire away," she said, already settling in for something pointless. Then again, just about everything that wasn't her job or "science" was pointless for her.

[moms_temperment]

"Awesome!" Hana smiled, missing her obvious sarcasm. Taking a deep breath, he literally began to 'fire away'.

"Who are you? What's your name? Where do you come from? Who made you? What can you do? Do you have a job? What is your job? Are you stuck like that? Can you move? Can you sleep? Do you sleep? How old are you? Do you have any friends? Is there only one of you? Do you have lazers? Are you a supercomputer? Are you smart? Are you all machine or are you some kinda cyborg? Can you eat? Can you cry? What makes you happy? Can you smile?"

WHOOPS I missed a few. Somehow.

[fabricaketions]

GLaDOS was silent for a grand total of precisely .7053 seconds. Then she dutifully responded in the same format.

"I am the Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System. GLaDOS. The Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Aperture Science. I can perform a near limitless number of tasks. Yes I have a job. I am currently responsible for monitoring crew avias aboard the Transmigration 9. That would require you to define "stuck". Yes. No. No. Classified. I do not need them. Yes. Sometimes. In a manner of speaking. Astoundingly. I have no disgusting organic components. No. No. Science makes me happy. No."

She peered down at Hana, wondering if she could possibly have the good luck to be rid of him so easily. Basing the calculation on all prior experience with crew members, though, it was not looking favorable.

[moms_temperment]

Hana chuckled at her answers and sat himself down, crossed legged infront of her. “GLaDOS, huh?”

For a moment, he looked puzzled. “Hang on, I think I’ve heard that name before. Don’t you sometimes take some of the people away?”

[fabricaketions]

"I periodically remove certain crew members and perform tests on them to ascertain the status of their avias and repair certain kinds of damage. Crew members that fail the test are restored to their stasis pods," GLaDOS explained. The response was rehearsed and more artificial than usual.

"For the safety of themselves and others, of course," she added.

[moms_temperment]

"Oh... Um... Okay." He pondered on this for a moment before questioning again. "So, if they fail the test they go back in the pods? What kind of test are they?"

[fabricaketions]

"Problem solving is heavily stressed," GLaDOS explained. "As is a reasonable degree of athletic prowess, calibrated by species and individual ability. It's a delicate balance. Tests for similar individuals are often similar, though never identical."

Nope, there is not even a little bit of test recycling on the Transmigration 9. Not at all. No sir.

"They appear to be staggeringly unpopular among the crew."

[moms_temperment]

"So it's kinda like training." Hana mused aloud. "Only for your brain and your body."

He grinned. "Sounds kinda cool."

Putting his hands behind his head, Hana shrugged. "Well, even training is unpopular to alot of people so that makes sense."

He was quiet for a moment, thinking, then spoke up. "But, like, is there anyway to volunteer?" These 'tests' might be the thing he's been looking for lately.

[fabricaketions]

"I have had a volunteer for testing in the past," GLaDOS admitted. Lash had surprised her with the request, but it had been easy enough to do.

"If you would like to test beyond what is usually deemed necessary, it's a simple matter to arrange. You'd have to use this sensorium, though, as I cannot leave it at the moment."

[moms_temperment]

"So, I can just ask? I don't need to sign up or go through any kind of 'procedure' junk"

He shuffled. "I mean, I don't wanna go right now, I wanna let everyone know first but I'd still like it to be pretty soon, if that's cool."

[fabricaketions]

"Yes. It can be arranged."

It would be a long, long time and a dire situation at hand before GLaDOS would call anything "cool".