Thought We Both Could Use a Friend to Run To [Closed]

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard forgot what it's like to walk slowly. Usually he runs, or keeps a quick pace to keep up with taller people always on the move, or jogs to work. He doesn't tend to amble, and he certainly doesn't plod.

But Orc's back now, and that, like many things, is going to have to change.

He should be happy. He really should. This is what he's wanted since showing up on this stupid flying space-wart, right?

And yet instead he feels full of static electricity. Like his body's full of twitches and impulses that go nowhere, glitches and short-circuits and bubbles in the tubes and a complete and utter impatience with the way Orc drags his feet as if walking through Elmer's glue.

And it bothers Howard that he makes sure he's out of arms reach before he gives an impatient huff and says "could you pick it up a little? My bones are fossilizing here, man."

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[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard holds his breath for a minute, trying to think that through. On one hand, Orc's right. It doesn't matter. This is and always has been the chance for a fresh start, and even if Howard didn't grab it with both hands once he arrived, he can't deny he's reinvented himself a little. Orc could do the same.

And yet it's not as if they can just put it behind them. Howard knows, from the nightmares and the paranoia and the oppressing, overwhelming sense of horror just around the corner, that the FAYZ will never be erased from them. It's like a brand they'll wear, even if sometimes only they and Diana can see it.

Even if no one else ever finds out about that kid, Orc will know. And he'll wear that tattoo too.

Howard reaches a hand up and rests it on Orc's shoulder in a quiet gesture of comfort. "Yeah. You're right. Doesn't matter."

[paidinbeer.livejournal.com]

"It's over now." He muttered his shoulders sagging. He had gone from a rock wall to a pile of rubble in just a few minutes and a few beers. Even the beers he had slammed on an empty stomach couldn't be blamed for the depression creeping in.

"It was all a waste of time."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard gives Orc's shoulder a squeeze. Maybe Orc can feel it beneath all the stone. Maybe not. Maybe it doesn't matter.

It was a mistake to bring him here. Even if he'd been single-mindedly focused on getting booze beforehand, this was a mistake.

"We've got time here. We don't got to make it a waste. Things'll get better."

It sounds so hollow, partially because he's trying to convince himself too.

[paidinbeer.livejournal.com]

"How?" And that was the question wasn't it? But somewhere...in those beady little eyes now directed at Howard was a tiny, tiny barely noticeable flicker of hope that maybe Howard knew something Orc didn't about things. Or maybe Howard just imagined it.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

That little bit of hope would have been lost on just about anyone but Howard, but he's known Orc a long time. They've been through a lot together. They've put each through through a lot.

"Time." He sighs. "Lots of time. Lots of time to ourselves with Drake screaming at us from the basement or having to eat cockroaches or just not having anyone to talk to but each other. Time with people who've lived a little longer than us and know a little more than us."

He tries an awkward smile. It falls a bit flat. "And saving the universes is probably pretty good for us karma-wise. Not saying it'll make up for things, but..."

[paidinbeer.livejournal.com]

"Karma huh?" He wasn't sure any amount of Karam was going to save him from the pits of hell waiting for his ugly ass to go tumbling down.

"So we just wait." That was what he took away from the "Time" comment.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Yeah. We wait and it'll get better bit by bit. Promise." He wonders how much water one of his promises holds with Orc these days. "Besides, at least I got company now, right?"

[paidinbeer.livejournal.com]

It seemed like a pretty flimsy promise to Orc. Howard couldn't possibly know things were gonna get any better. He just wanted Orc to feel better. Orc sighed and hit the tree behind him with his fist hoping to shake down another bottle. He wasn't so lucky.

"Yeah I'm here." He conceded.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard stands up, scrambles a little bit up the tree and gets him one. He holds it out to Orc, and then, before Orc can take it, pulls it back.

"Orc, do I lie to you?"

He's not going to pass the bottle over until he gets an answer.

[paidinbeer.livejournal.com]

It actually took a moment as Orc muddled through his memories. Like all thought based actions, it took longer when he was drinking and depressed.

"No, you never have." he decided, at least he didn't think Howard had. If he had Orc either couldn't remember or had totally believed him.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard has, many times. Never in ways to hurt Orc, always looking out for Orc's interests, but honesty isn't his strong suit. But he'll let Orc stay mistaken.

"So when I say things get better, why would I be lying?"

[paidinbeer.livejournal.com]

That was a pretty good question...at least to Orc. "I unno." He confessed feeling foolish which put an edge to his voice. He didn't like feeling as though he wasn't seeing something obvious. But the way Howard was talking it seemed like he should have obviously known all along there was no reason for Howard to lie.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard can tell from Orc's voice that he stepped out of line. He hands the bottle over to Orc with a sigh. He realizes that at the moment, he doesn't want to. Orc's going to be wasted as soon as all that booze hits his head.

"I'm honest with you, man. That's all I'm saying."

[paidinbeer.livejournal.com]

"Yeah." Was as much as Orc was going to agree with this entire discussion. The beer was already taking effect which meant he was relaxing, not as frustrated as he would have been. Howard had gotten him this far he supposed. The next bottle disappeared like all the others beer vanishing into Orc's stomach in just a gulp and a half.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"I'll find you a job, too. Something to do to keep you busy. And, um, you can come live in the Warehouse with me. There's lots of heavy stuff to drag around, right?"

And yes, Howard will be a little insulted if Orc doesn't want to help him. After all he's done.

[paidinbeer.livejournal.com]

"Work." He mumbled begrudgingly. Work was alright it was better then being bored, but he didn't much care for it one way or the other. Still work meant beer. And Beer meant not having too think about any of the things he was trying to avoid.

"Yeah, that sounds good." He wasn't about to thank Howard, but agreeing with him was a start.