trans_9 | Time to face the music [Open btw]

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Time to face the music [Open btw]

There was only so long you could hide from people, especially on a creepy spaceship.

So when she was feeling less like bawling Cassie moved from hiding away in areas close enough that anyone could hear her if she screamed, to actually mingling amongst the others. In this case, the media library. She could use a distraction like a movie or music or something.

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Jonas spotted Cassie stepping into the Media Library and dithered for a moment, unsure if he should follow her or if she was still too upset over Nathanial's reappearance to talk. Finally determining that he wouldn't know unless he asked, he approached the door and knocked politely.

"[Cassie?]"

Oh she was afraid of this. But at the same time she wanted to get it over with.

"Yeah?"

Ah, good, she seemed willing to speak to him at least. Jonas took a moment to make sure he was properly centered.

"[Can we speak now?]"

What, like he hadn't said everything he wanted to earlier? Well, sort of.

"...Yeah..." Cassie said, looking away.

Why did this have to be so hard anyway? Jonas resisted the urge to fidget. They had to discuss this, or it was just going to damage what they shared.

He just had to find the right way to phrase it.

"[When Nathanial was released from Podsleep without his memories of the twenty-first century -- notably, of you -- and you responded to the revelation by having one of the worst nervous break-downs that I am aware of you having had, I was very worried,]" he began. "[I also felt somewhat threatened, because we agreed that I could and would wait until you felt that you were in a place where you could reciprocate my feelings; but your reaction seemed to indicate that you were still carrying a torch, as it were, for Iron Lad.]"

There. An honest summary of his feelings. She couldn't object to that, could she?

"You must have missed me shrinking after I nearly paralyzed my step dad." Cassie paused. "And I was not having a nervous breakdown." She totally was. "I've been kidnapped, again. You and Kate are the only people here I know and I never thought I was going to see Iron Lad again so can you really blame me for freaking out?" Her voice started off flat but the more she spoke the louder she was. And by the end it was clear she was irritated.

He had specified "one of", but this was no time to get bogged down in specifics.

"[No, I cannot blame you,]" he said levelly. "[I never said that I did blame you. I am merely attempting to communicate that the degree to which you reacted to Nathanial's presence surprised and unsettled me.]"

"How would you act if I died, then you moved on and was with somebody else, then I come back and on top of that I have no memories of you?

"What do you want me to say? You know I'm not exactly... you know I'm messed up." The floor was awfully interesting right now.

"[What I want you to say is that you want to make an effort to make this relationship work,]" Jonas said quietly. "[That is all that I am asking.]"

Cassie bristled at the implication that she wasn't making an effort. She looked at Jonas. "Oh now you say that. You could have earlier instead of making me- did I ever say I wasn't?"

"[I apologize for not making my needs clearer earlier,]" Jonas replied calmly. "[But at this moment, I am finding it difficult to determine exactly how you feel for me.]"

Oh he was going to make her say it, wasn't he?

"Jonas, I love you but..." She also loved Iron Lad. But then Nathaniel Richards wasn't Iron Lad anymore, was he?

Yes, he was going to make her say it. That was the whole purpose of what they were trying to do.

"[But?]" Jonas prompted.

"But..." Cassie sighed, closed her eyes, and shook her head. "But I'm always going to love Iron Lad. I just thought I'd never see him again. I thought the next time I saw him he would be Kang and not this person who's not quite Kang yet but turning into him. I thought it would be black and white, that it would be obvious he wasn't Iron Lad anymore and he's not but he's not Kang either." And then softly she added. "I promised I'd remind him."

Jonas sighed and closed his eyes briefly.

"[I can accept that,]" he said softly. He didn't like it, but he could accept it for now and hope that it might change with time. It might even change faster now that Nathanial was physically present rather than some memory on a pedestal.

"[So. Where does that leave us?]"

"What, you still want me?" That was supposed to be sarcastic but at this point Cassie wasn't sure if he did.

After all, she wouldn't want her if she were in his place.

"[If you love me, then yes.]"

Honestly, he wasn't entirely certain that he could ever not be in love with Cassie. He had done some research about the science of love and the brain, and discovered that people were more likely to fall in love in exciting situations. When Iron Lad and Cassie had met for the first time, she had just demonstrated her powers and he had just explained his story to three Avengers. Then they were attacked by the simuloids, then by Kang himself.

It didn't get much more exciting than that.

So the very brain patterns he was based on were desperately, madly in love with Cassie Lang. Did that make it a fundamental part of his identity? Was it even possible for that to change?

He didn't know. But he wasn't going to let it gnaw at him. He was going to claim that love, make it his.

He could only hope that Cassie could love him back.

"[Do you love me?]"

Hadn't she said that all ready?

"Of course I do." She was with him, wasn't she? "I'm sorry if you think that I don't. I never meant to make you think that."

She had, but it was nice to hear it again. Especially when the bit between her last "I love you" and now had been about how she loved Iron Lad too.

"[I love you too,]" he said, taking a step closer. "[I always will.]"

"Don't be too sure about that." Cassie whispered under her breath, hoping he didn't hear that as soon as she said it.

She moved to Jonas and hugged him.

Oh, he heard it. He didn't comment on it, but he heard it.

Jonas closed his eyes and hugged her back.

Just in case he had heard it, and just in general...

"I'm sorry I'm so messed up."

"[We are teenage super heroes whose lives have been turned upside-down by all of the adults we were supposed to trust, and then kidnapped by a time-traveling, sentient space ship that has plucked people from our pasts and futures,]" Jonas said. "[ 'Messed up' is more than understandable.]"

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Time to face the music [Open btw]

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