trans_9 | They say of the Acropolis where the Parthenon is... [Open]

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They say of the Acropolis where the Parthenon is... [Open]

Another day, another patrol; by now, Zouichi was accustomed to the layout of the ship, and though nothing in particular seemed to be amiss (well, beyond the ordinary conflicts and problems, of course), he dutifully canvassed what areas he was assigned. His bike ran smoothly and quietly, and using it to get around made things a little easier. On the occasions when riding wasn't an option, however, he'd simply sling it over his shoulder and carry it along (that was what the handle was for).

He stopped to chat with people he ran into along the way, but at the end of the ride, he found himself wandering about in an area of the City he'd not yet visited. Which is how he ran into the Parthenon, not a crumbled ruin as it had been in his own time, but fully restored (or perhaps it had simply not yet had time to fall into disrepair). He looked up at the stone structure, curious. A relic of a time when people believed in divine beings as patrons of their cities.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Why would they create believers who could stop believing in them, though? That's like buying a flashlight and not checking the batteries first."

"To give them free will? Potential? The ability to get things done without asking a god to do it for them every three seconds?"

"If you can program a robot without free will to vacuum your house for seventy-two hours, you can program a sentient being to not bug you for permission for every little detail as they collect food and have babies."

Shut up. Roombas are cool.

"Besides, if you're an all-powerful god, how big a hassle is it really to make someone else's decisions for them?"

"There's a big difference between a robot whose only functions are 'go forward' and 'turn around' and a sentient being," Zouichi said, looking dubious. "And what would be the point of making everyone's decisions for them? You might as well not make anyone at all."

"Hey, don't diss Roombas. And maybe that's what we are, compared to omnipotent god figures - little robots with a set amount of options bumping up against whatever stupid shoes or chair legs someone left in our way." If that analogy wasn't so stupid it might even be profound.

"I'm just saying it's efficient if all gods want is worship."

"Excuse me," said Zouichi, "But I turn around before I run into chair legs." What was this conversation even about any more.

"In any case, if I were a god, I don't think worship would be all I wanted out of my creations. I'd want to give them free will, space to move around, all that."

"Metaphorical chair legs, god!" This is one metaphor that is never going to make it into Howard's rough drafts.

"Yeah, but no offense, Zou, you get way too involved in your fish, too. That kind of thing interests you more than it would most people. Probably most gods, too."

"I know," Zouichi said, raising an eyebrow. It was a joke, Howard, jeez.

"Oh, sure. Well, in the next life, I'll be sure to spend much more time making roller refrigerators. Anyway, what's wrong with fish?"

"Look, it's not my fault that you think the only cool rolling things are motorcycles." He's proud of the roller fridge, Zou. So proud. "Nothing's wrong with fish, they're just really boring and don't do anything."

"Where I come from, those are fighting words," Zouichi said, with... not quite the right tone, there.

"Maybe if you put a leash on the roller fridge."

Howard puts his hands out. "I am not knocking the motorcycle, man. But think of all the exercise I could get dragging the roller fridge around. It's not totally useless!"

Well, he had to give Howard that. "I thought the point of putting wheels on it was to make it easier to drag around. So how do you power it when you're rolling it?"

"Easier. Not easy. I mean, it's still a mini-fridge, and Stacy's terrain isn't exactly bump-free." Still, easier than that broken golf cart he dragged across town the other day. "Repurposed car battery. Really not that complicated."

"Maybe you can get some antigravity stabilizers installed on it," said Zouichi. "What do you carry around in that thing, anyway? Ice cream? Spare organs?"

"That's way beyond my know-how, man." Even though Howard's fairly convinced that given instruction and enough time he can learn just about anything, anti-gravity stabilizers would take a lot of time. "Ice cream and some perishables, some meat from XaXing and stuff. Spare organs would be gross."

And clearly meat from four months ago is probably still 'not gross'. What of it?

"From XaXing? That was kind of a while ago, wasn't it? Shouldn't you hurry up and use that? And... why are you carting it around?" Howard, were you offering the ice cream to all the good little children aboard the ship?

"I might need it later," Howard whines.

Zou, you have known Howard long enough to realize that he would never a) give gifts to children or b) give ice cream to anyone. "It was for the Chancellor's use, but I guess Quest for Cakelot's got him again. So I just cart it around to get milk from his cows and stuff."

Seriously, Howard's got his fingers in half the metaphorical pies on this ship. Lurking around the Chancellor's cattle is one of them.

"But even frozen meat goes bad." Zouichi looked thoughtful. "Maybe we could use some of it for cooking. Wait, what are you doing with all that milk?"

"...come to think of it, who's taking care of the cows?"

"Yeah, I know. We should use it at some point, but it's not quite enough for a rib cookoff or anything. Maybe if we just let people at the Inn have it and no one else for a holiday dinner or something..." Then again, Jr. and Allenby might be the type to be vegetarians. Howard has no idea. "I freeze the milk too. Usually manage to thaw it before it goes sour, and even then it's usually still drinkable. Just because I haven't hit a growth spurt doesn't mean I don't need calcium, right?"

Howard makes an exaggerated shrug. "I have no idea. I guess as long as they're grazing they don't need much help."

"A holiday dinner...? What kind of holiday were you thinking of?" A Festival of Meats okay no. But neither Allenby nor Jr. seemed to be vegetarians. Allenby had talked about Swedish meatballs, and Jr. had eaten some gyoza back on that amusement park planet.

"You drink sour milk?" Zouichi made a face. "They must not be quite as domesticated as the cows on Earth."

"I don't know. Thanksgiving's probably coming up soon, right? I mean, since we just did Halloween. Or maybe Jr. and Allenby have ideas."

"Uh, duh. Would it be better going to waste?" Howard has very little experience with cows, even domesticated ones. "Why, are cows like turkeys where they drown when it rains?"

"Thanksgiving... oh, the holiday with the turkeys?" What an odd holiday. Halloween, too, with its running from door to door demanding candy of total strangers. "Maybe. I'm not even sure which holidays they celebrate."

"Dairy cows were engineered to produce more milk than an ordinary cow, so I believe they require more upkeep. And they may wander into areas they're not supposed to or knock down something important. I'm sure to some extent they can take care of themselves, but it wouldn't hurt to check in on them now and again." He frowned a little. "Drowning when it rains? Are you sure that's not an urban myth? I don't think it's very likely turkeys would survive very long if they couldn't handle a little rain."

"Yeah, that one. It's all about being grateful for stuff and something about the Pilgrims wearing funny hats or something. I didn't really pay attention to that part in history class." And by 'that part' he means 'all seven and a half years of my education'. "We could always do the obvious and ask."

Well, you learn something every day. Secretly Howard's now worried that Zouichi has been studying domestic cows with intent to adopt them. Emergency Rations would be displeased. "They're roped off so they don't wander anywhere. And you'd think it would be with turkeys, but maybe they live in places where it doesn't rain much."

"Hmm... I suppose the original meaning of the holiday was somewhat lost." Like Christmas, apparently.

Emergency Rations would be displeased.... because her attempts to eat a cow would fail? "Well, unless they raise turkeys in a desert, I think it would be pretty hard to keep them away from rain. Besides, what about wild turkeys?" He shook his head. "Anyway, the point of Thanksgiving is making a lot of food, isn't it? I'll see what I can make with what we have."

"There was something about the Pilgrims being grateful that they didn't starve to death. If that's the meaning behind the holiday I'm behind it a hundred percent." And obviously the point of Christmas is chocolate advent calendars, duh, Zou.

"Wild turkeys could live in the desert, and you could hustle the domesticated turkeys into a coop with a roof. Not that hard." But he's totally determined to look this up on StacySnopes.com now.

Howard nods and looks a bit uncertain for a second, as if making a difficult decision, then bites his lip. "I guess if it's not many people I can donate some food too. We had a Thanksgiving dinner in the FAYZ once and it was...it was nice. As long as it's not too much."

Albert organized that FAYZ dinner but like hell is Howard giving Albert credit for anything ever.

They say of the Acropolis where the Parthenon is... [Open]

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/start wrapping up for Thanksgiving thread?

yes!