Multiverse's Next Top Model: Hoodwinked!

[cityship]

Stacy sends out the call for certain crew members to present themselves at the decks. Once they are all rounded up, they are presented with the following information before being shuffled off into a shuttle to the nearby plant.

Planet Designation: Exotic Location
Status: Terrestrial.
Non-sentient life: Wild flora and fauna has been all much eliminated by homo sapiens. Domesticated flora and fauna present in limited quantities.
Semi-Sentient Life: Yes.
Sentient Life: Homo Sapiens.
Water: 89.3% of the planet's surface.
Climate: Earth-like
Landscape: Dense cities on all land masses except 'photo shoot' regions.
Air: Normoxic concentration.
Air Pressure: 89.6 kPa = 13 psi
Sky: Orange, with variable cloud cover.
Sun: A class G2V, white star.
Mission: Diplomatic mission with ruler Tyrant Banks for 'confidential, fierce information regarding the Ohm'.

The shuttle takes the scenic route, passing over cities filled with skyscrapers and billboards the size of small towns. Finally, it lands on the outskirts of one city, between the downtown and the beach. The shuttle docks, and the doors open to a room with black walls and a single flatscreen television at the far end. No doors are in sight.

On the television, a black and white PowerPoint seems to have been set up. It reads:

TYRANTMAIL,

Your welcome gift will be a real heavenly surprise!

Fiercely in Love,
Tyrant

The message is accompanied by a jpeg of Tyrant Banks riding a motorcycle in the tundra while wearing a bikini. She looks incredibly fierce.

Comments

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren didn't yell as the water washed over him, drenching his hair. Instead, he swirled the champagne in his glass around briefly, smouldering in wordless anger. As soon as Punchy's face was visible and free from the water, he threw the wine into Punchy's face with a single, aristocratic flick of his slender wrist.

"You're an embarrassment to the mission," he hissed.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

Punchy doesn't hear that, because he's too busy clapping his hands over his eyes and yelling "augh, that burns, motherfucker!" He drops back under the water to rinse his eyes out in the bubbles.

When he surfaces again, he points an accusatory finger at Soren and yells "I bet you get eliminated first!"

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

A serene smile spread over Soren's face. Ahh, the sweet sound of his jerkface roommate getting exactly what he deserved.

"We will see who gets eliminated," he said, treating that last word as if it were somehow filthy. "I'll be the one to retrieve this 'fierce information', if I have to hamstring everyone in this model competition to do it."

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"You want to be writing checks your skills can't cash, jackwagon? We'll see who takes this shit. I'ma bring it to your front door, boy." Punchy splashes Soren again.

This is clearly the attitude of role models.

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren splashed him back. Because he was totally mature when it came to resolving interpersonal conflicts.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

Punchy grabs Soren's ankle and tugs Soren under the water.

Real mature, guyz.

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren came back up for air, struggling to get free and wrench himself out of Punchy's grip. He wasn't a warrior by any means, but he was surprisingly strong given the right incentive. And trying to breathe was a pretty big incentive.