trans_9 | Unchained [Open]

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Unchained [Open]

Sirius Black was no longer in Azkaban. He had spent but a few months there, a small fraction of the time he would have spent had Stacy not ripped him free, but it had left its mark on him. He knew his mind had fractured, he could feel the pieces as surely as if he were holding them in his hands, but he couldn't fit them back together. He didn't know how. He couldn't do it on his own. He needed James. But James was dead.

He should talk to Remus. He'd always been the most sensible and resilient of them. Remus knew what it was like to break apart and then put yourself back together. He'd done that every month since before Sirius met him. But Sirius couldn't go to him, not yet. Not when he could barely string together a few sentences.

Sirius had gone to the city first but it was strange to look out across all those buildings, places that should be full of life hauntingly empty. He turned away and wandered more until he found somewhere full of life. He could forget that he was on board a- what had they called it? Spaceship? It seemed like the four walls around him had fallen away and finally, finally he was free.

He stood still, eyes closed, arms spread, feeling the air.

He remembered his life. There had been bad times, yes. Horrible, terrible times but he had endured. He'd survived. And James had always been there for him. James...

So many happy memories now bittersweet. They flowed over him like waves, each one threatening to take him under but each one he cherished. Life was hard. Life hurt. Knowing that the person who'd brought so much happiness into his life was gone, knowing that Sirius was responsible for his death, it was a pain he could not describe. A pain he never expected or wanted to diminish. But through the pain there was laughter. Through the pain there was love. And that was worth living for, no matter how deep he hurt.

It's what James would have wanted.

"I'll look after him, Prongs. I promise."

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So he wasn't even friends with Harry and he'd put himself in front of him the moment he saw a supposed mass murderer. Sirius liked him even more.

He raised his eyebrows. "A little surprised?"

Oh, that was right. Sirius hadn't been around to see the rise of the legend around Harry, the way everyone treated him with awe. Most people thought he was this great saviour of the wizarding world.

"Well...Harry's pretty famous. He's the one who stopped You Know Who last time, and rumours about him spread quickly. I didn't think he'd be cruel, but he doesn't behave like a famous person at all. It seems to bother him---but after all the stories Rita Skeeter ran about him in the Prophet, I've started to see why." He wrinkled his nose. Those stories were so obviously false to anyone who had spent more than five minutes with Harry.

"Anyway...it's beautiful here," he almost smiled, gazing at a little pink creature rolling in front of them. "For a while I didn't think I'd see something like this again."

Sirius frowned. Of course Harry would be famous but he'd never stopped to think about that. To Sirius Harry was his godson, the boy he had orphaned,not the Boy Who Lived.

"Me too."

He followed Cedric's gaze and thought vaguely of turning into a dog to chase the creature- he could use the exercise and and excuse to do something silly like that but it was best that he didn't tip his hand. Never knew when being an unlicensed Animagus would come in handy. Or land him in prison. It might not have been listed as illegal in the constitution he read but illegality hadn't stopped people before.

"What's he like? Harry, I mean."

"I might not be the best person to ask," Cedric chuckled. "I don't know him all that well, but I'll give it a shot."

He thought back on his memories of Gryffindor's rebellious star player. "I met him through Quidditch. He's the Seeker of the Gryffindor team, and I was Hufflepuff's Seeker and captain. He caused a commotion in his first year---he showed such talent in front of Professor McGonagall that he was the first first year to be a Seeker in a century. I was in third year then, heard a lot of the Hufflepuff first years wondering why they couldn't join too."

But that wasn't what Harry was like, it was just what he did. "He's an amazing player. We finally played against each other in my fifth year, the year before last. He would've bested me if dementors hadn't swarmed the field and made him fall. I tried to ask for a do-over sans dementors, but the Gryffindor captain declined. I watched him in the next match to see if he'd be okay, and a group of Slytherins dressed up as dementors and tried to scare him. Dirty trick. But he was able to cast a Patronus. A thirteen year old with a Patronus! I haven't even mastered it, and I finished sixth year!"

Cedric had more to say, but he needed a breath to gather his thoughts. That next year, the tournament, was when he'd really gotten to know Harry. And the darkness had started.

Sirius grinned. A brilliant Quidditch player and able to cast a Patronus- against dementors, even!

"He really is like his father." He said quietly, more to himself, and then louder. "Always knew he'd brilliant at Quidditch. I gave him his first broom. Of course, it wasn't a real one, just a toy." He'd treasured that first picture. It was a shame he didn't have it now.

Cedric looked at Sirius then, and he couldn't help but smile. The man really did love Harry. In his opinion, it was wonderful that Harry was going to have his godfather in his life again. He needed support more than Cedric did.

"Harry was kind too. He works hard, and he's very fair---I don't think he would've been all that out of place in my House. There's more about him I should tell you, I didn't really get to know him until this past year." Deep breaths.

"This year, we were both chosen as Hogwarts' champions for the Triwizard Tournament. It's a long story, you're probably better off asking Harry, but he was always kind to me. Somehow he got tipped off about the first task, which was supposed to be a surprise---we all had to face a dragon. They were shown to the heads of the other schools, and they were inclined to cheat, so everyone would've known except me. But Harry stepped in, he made sure I knew too. That's the kind of person he is. I repaid him when I heard a clue for the next task, and it went on. He saved me from a Cruciatus Curse in the maze when he could've run past me and taken the cup for himself. We agreed to take it together after we argued that the other deserved it more, and..."

Well. That had been the night.

The Triwizard Tournament? They couldn't bring that back when he was in school? Oh, that would have been fun. He and James...

He had a few ideas on how Harry might have found out about the first task. Did he have his father's cloak? Now, if only they'd had the map to pass on to him. But then even if Filch hadn't confiscated it none of them would have been present to give it to him. Well, maybe Remus...

And then he frowned at the mention of the Cruciatus Curse. And when Cedric trailed off, well...

"What happened next, is that how you died?"

"Yeah," he admitted quietly. "The cup was a Portkey, it took us to a graveyard. It wasn't part of the task, so we had our wands out---then Harry fell and started clutching his forehead. I looked to see what was wrong. Something was approaching us. Harry's told me now that it was Peter Pettigrew carrying You Know Who. He---he ordered Pettigrew to 'kill the spare', and that's how I'm going to die."

Cedric took a shuddering breath. It was still hard, to think that this war was the last of his life.

"And after, Pettigrew's going to use an ancient rite to resurrect him. And another wizarding war breaks out."

Oh, all the lovely things Sirius's former friend had gotten up to!

The change in Sirius at the mention of his old friend's name was not startling so much as terrifying. In one instant his face had twisted into not only a look of disgust but one of loathing. He bared his teeth like an animal. And seeing the look he now had in his eyes it wasn't that hard to believe that he actually was guilty of murdering 13 people.

"Pettigrew!" He spat. "That rat- that fucking rat! If I could have killed him- I should have-" He had been so close, so painfully close and then it all blew up in his face. Literally.

Cedric leaned back, worry and fear crossing his face. Yes, Pettigrew---who had wronged Sirius even more severely. Because of his betrayal and framing, Harry had said, Sirius had taken the blame and been suffering for years. Because of Pettigrew, James and Lily Potter had died. It wasn't resigned guilt like Harry's had been, but rage. Rage that he wasn't entirely sure what to do with.

After a second of thought,he calmed himself and stayed where he was. "It's not your fault," Cedric tried to argue after a few moments. He focused on his tone, as he doubted words would get through. "Not any more than it's Harry's fault. I had to tell him I didn't blame him either."

Pettigrew had escaped on Harry and Remus's watch just last year if Cedric was remembering correctly.

"You don't understand." None of the venom had left Sirius's voice. "It was my idea. It was all my idea. James wanted it to be me. He wanted me to be Secret Keeper and I would have done it. I would have done anything for him but I thought- I thought if Peter was the one they would go after me, kill me, and have no idea that Peter..." He'd thought it was Remus but he couldn't be more wrong. How could he be so blind?

"And then when I finally cornered him he was too fast. Blew up the whole street." He still remembered that moment. Surrounded by pieces of bodies, Peter's laughter still ringing in his ears (or was that his imagination?), realizing what had happened and...

It was impossible to argue guilt away, not like this, but he could try for some calm. "You were trying to keep him safe. You didn't know---and maybe he is alive here. You might get to talk to him yourself."

Cedric just shook his head, head still bowed for a moment. "I can't ever imagine what Azkaban is like, and I'm so sorry. But that still doesn't mean it's your fault."

He made an attempt at eye contact, his voice dropping seriously. "Harry and I were too slow to catch on to what was happening in the graveyard, and he's the one who convinced me to take the cup with him. But that doesn't make my death his fault either."

Sirius looked away. His chest heaved. He didn't trust himself to speak just yet.

Of course it wasn't Harry's fault. But why did Cedric bring that up?

"That has nothing to do with what I did. It's not the same at all."

"But it is," Cedric insisted stubbornly. "There were so many things that went wrong to lead to the deaths. Pettigrew made the choice, You Know Who targeted the Potters for his reasons, and the conditions were just right. It's the same with my death. Should I focus the blame on Harry for taking me with him and not being alert enough, myself for doing the same, the other champions not doing as well and leaving it up to us, the Death Eater who organized the whole plot, Pettigrew for killing me, him for ordering it? I know I can't fix it, Sirius." Of course not, though he wished he could. He hated to see the poor man suffer.

"But know that I don't have any ill will toward you at all."

"No offense, but I'm less concerned with what you think." Of course he knew James would forgive him if he were here. But the whole point was that he wasn't here and for that Sirius could never forgive himself.

He shook his head. "You shouldn't be concerned with any of this."

"Right, of course," Cedric's head bobbed as he gazed at the ground. His foot. The foot wrapped in this plantsuit material that still bothered him a little.

"I've never been happy with an injustice happening in front of me," he sighed, still feeling a twinge of worry about Azkban. "And the three of you are all that's left of that life for now. I'm meeting everyone as fast as I can, but at the end of the day it's nice to talk to someone who knows what a wand is."

"The injustice was about a dozen years before your time. It wasn't exactly in front of you." Sirius stretched his arms. "It's good to be talking to someone at all, especially someone who knows Harry."

Cedric shrugged, settling down into the grass to reach for one of the little moles rolling on the ground. They were cute, he had to admit.

"I know. I'm still glad you're free and have friends. I missed the last three years of his life, but I can tell you more if you'd like. You'd have been proud if you'd seen him last year, I promise."

"I'd love it. Tell me about the tasks. And then we can move onto Quidditch." He wasn't overly concerned with boring Cedric. Right now all he could think of was his godson. James and Lily's son.

Cedric didn't mind launching into the tale. He could see how happy it made Sirius to hear these things about the godson he'd missed, and keeping him calm was definitely an improvement.

"Right, so. As I said, the first task was getting past a dragon and retrieving a golden egg. We were supposed to be surprised by this, but all of us knew and prepared beforehand. We each had a different dragon---there was a Welsh Green, a Chinese Fireball, I faced a Swedish Short-Snout, and Harry got the Hungarian Horntail. The nastiest one."

But that didn't mean Harry hadn't done well! "We all tried different things. Fleur put her dragon to sleep, but it snored and let out a flame that set her on fire. Krum used a Conjunctivitis Curse on its eye. I tried transfiguring a rock into a dog and using it as a distraction---well, it worked well enough for me to survive, but I could've done better. Like Harry, he was the best."

Cedric paused for effect. He knew Sirius would really care about this part. "He used a Summoning Charm on his broom and flew right around the Horntail, snatching the egg. He got sliced on the shoulder, but it was a shallow cut. He got first place for that task, and he definitely deserved it."

Sirius grinned and his eyes finally didn't look so empty.

"A broom. I never would have thought of that. That is brilliant. And he made it past a bloody dragon." He wished he could have seen it.

Cedric nodded encouragingly. "Yeah! And he really cares about people too. For the second task, we had to dive below the lake and rescue the person we cared about most from the merpeople, who were holding them hostage. I was rescuing my girlfriend, Krum had his, and Fleur was rescuing her little sister. Harry had Ron Weasley, his best mate."

Ah, the lake. It had been rather unnerving to be down there. "Harry reached the hostages before any of us. Fleur was attacked and never made it down there, but I got there next. I waited for a moment---he had Ron, he should've been coming with us, but he stayed behind. I reached the surface first, Krum was a while behind me, and we waited and waited for Harry. The time limit had passed quite a while ago, and we were worried about him."

He grinned. "But we shouldn't have been. Turns out he was late because he stayed behind to rescue Fleur's sister too. The merpeople fought him twice as hard, and of course it takes longer to drag two people up. I wish I would've helped him. But he placed second that round, his 'outstanding moral fiber' compensating for breaking the time limit, and we were tied heading into the third task."

This next explanation was short. "The third task was a maze filled with magical dangers, with the Triwizard Cup somewhere inside for us to find. We were all split up for most of it, but when we met Harry saved me from Krum's torture. Then we fought a giant spider together, and he got hurt. His leg was really bad. We argued for a bit about who should take the Cup, and then I helped him over to it. If not for You Know Who and the Death Eater who turned the tournament into a mad plot to catch Harry and resurrect the most evil wizard of our times, it would've been a great ending."

It was hard not to sound slightly bitter about that, but he knew dwelling there would do no good. Sirius wanted to hear about the things that kept Harry happy. "So. Quidditch?"

Well, Harry wasn't entirely like James then. Sirius doubted James would have been quite so generous if he could have won the Triwizard Tournament. But that was probably a good thing. He had some of Lily in him too.

"Quidditch." Sirius agreed. He doubted Cedric wanted to stay on the subject of his own death.

"I like to watch the other Quidditch teams to see what I'm up against," Cedric started. "I finally made Seeker in my fourth year. I never got to play against him then, because the match was cancelled. The Chamber of Secrets was open that year, and Muggle-born students were being attacked left and right. Luckily they were only petrified, not killed. Anyway, I watched Harry in a match against Slytherin before that. One of the Bludgers kept fixating on going after him for some reason. He managed to avoid it for most of the match, but it broke his arm just before he caught the Snitch. He did manage to catch it with his good arm, though."

There was always that! Oliver Wood had been so proud, he remembered. "Professor Lockhart taught Defence against the Dark Arts that year. He liked to think he was highly impressive---used to boast to me that good looks would get you everywhere, and that I ought to start trying as hard as he did. But he didn't seem to show that he knew much about defence...or anything, really. He insisted on trying to fix Harry's arm, and I think he ended up removing the bones. It was flopping like a rubber snake when I saw him being dragged off to the hospital wing."

He nodded, moving on to the more important things. "Then came third year. As I've already said, the dementors got him before he could beat me in our match. But he kept playing really well the rest of the year, helped with his new broom. A Firebolt, the fastest broom there is. He worked really hard, and Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup that year. Honestly...if he's ever up for it, I'd like to play again in a fair match."

"I'd like to see that." He wished...

"But what did you say about the Chamber of Secrets? I thought that was just a legend." The Marauders certainly hadn't found it in all their adventures and exploring and they'd done a lot of it.

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