Goliath (
not_the_philistine) wrote in
trans_92011-10-01 10:15 pm
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Entry tags:
Reunion
Visitation Day came and went and Goliath still had not seen any of his clan in what felt like, and might have been, years. He still had not seen Elisa since she was nearly killed in his sleep, then vanished angry at him. There had been several times like these before, when the gathering of new crew members has been too painful for him to attend, knowing that his clan would come from elsewhere and at other times, and so podpops offered him only one chance at reunion with a loved one.
Disappointment had settled on him again, and he warded it off with productiveness. Elisa's car shone with the evidence of regular care, but the rest of the castle needed maintaining. He would invite more people in to work in the gardens, dispose of more of Xanatos' things - but first, he felt there was more still to gain by researching the Mayan sun amulet that he hoped could give him control over his waking and sleeping. It would be a good idea to contact Lupin again, but at the moment, it it pleased Goliath to conduct his research in solitude.
Deep in his reading in Castle Wyvern's library, he didn't hear footsteps until the door had already been opened behind him.
[EDIT: Subthreads now open for other characters to comment, starting with the Drunken Dragon]
Disappointment had settled on him again, and he warded it off with productiveness. Elisa's car shone with the evidence of regular care, but the rest of the castle needed maintaining. He would invite more people in to work in the gardens, dispose of more of Xanatos' things - but first, he felt there was more still to gain by researching the Mayan sun amulet that he hoped could give him control over his waking and sleeping. It would be a good idea to contact Lupin again, but at the moment, it it pleased Goliath to conduct his research in solitude.
Deep in his reading in Castle Wyvern's library, he didn't hear footsteps until the door had already been opened behind him.
[EDIT: Subthreads now open for other characters to comment, starting with the Drunken Dragon]
no subject
"You don't remember - the last time you were awake, I -"
If she doesn't remember being gutted by a werewolf while he was asleep, frankly, he doesn't want to revisit it in detail. But her not remembering this at all is an issue of significance.
"Elisa. Do you remember being awake here before?"
no subject
She hoped - with a level of desperation that surprised her - that he remembered the conversation they'd had. It had taken them months to reach that point. She hadn't realised how glad she was that they had reached it.
"I don't remember anything about this place. Goliath, what's going on? You're really worrying me."
Goliath had always been so strong, so solid. Seeing him genuinely unsettled left her feeling unsettled.
no subject
How we both feel. Yes.
Good.
That sunrise seemed so long ago. It had been so long ago.
And yet he still remembered it, clear as day. Their last meeting, his visit to her in the hospital - in comparison it was almost like a bad dream.
Without another word, Goliath drew her into his arms again, folding his wings around her, desperate for the assurance that she was, truly, there.
"It's been so long since that morning." His arms tightened around her, and his claws tangled in her hair. "So long, Elisa. But I have never forgotten a moment of it."
He'd fought for her, fought for the whole clan, with no reassurance he would ever see them again. He'd gone so far as to accept that he would not. That they could sleep in safety had been his only comfort, and it had been just enough to endure the sorrow of never seeing them again.
Now she was here, and she would understand the pain, barely suppressed, that missing his clan had caused him.
"That memory has given me strength when I had no comfort but that I might still fight to protect you."
He held her, wanting never to let her go. If he did, Stacy might take her back, and after losing everything he had lived for so many times, he didn't know if he could endure another such loss.
His eyes were wet with tears as he leaned back to cup her face in his hand.
"I have missed you. You, and the rest of the clan. I have missed you so much."
no subject
"You know I'd never have gone back into those pods if I'd had a choice."
It had only been a matter of hours for Elisa, but she'd have changed that without question in order to have been at his side during the innumerable ordeals that he'd faced. She'd miss the clan as well - of course she would! - but she would never have left him willingly.
She wished she could offer him genuine comfort, but she couldn't even promise that she wouldn't leave again.
no subject
He had been alone, very distinctly alone, and it had been unquestionably a nightmare. That nightmare might revisit him still.
"How did you find your way here?"
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She gave him a crooked smile, pleased but not surprised that she'd guessed correctly. If she hadn't been able to reach the clock tower by sunset and he'd departed by the time she arrived, she'd always headed to the library next.
"I'm just glad you're really here."
no subject
He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, letting his talons linger there. Had it really been years since he'd seen her? Aside from that brief visit, which still felt like it had happened ages ago? Time ran so strangely on the ship, but it couldn't have been less than a year.
"The last time I saw you -" he really didn't want to revisit that event, but it was important that she knew that it had happened, that the ship was as full of dangers as anywhere else in this universe. "The last time you were awake, there was a sickness going around that made the crew violent towards each other. One of them hurt you."
By his tone, it was badly.
"I was locked in sleep at the time, and could not be at your side. If it was Kang who guided you here, then that is only another favor for which I am in his debt. He was injured in the process of protecting you, and I do not doubt he saved your life."
Shame still hung over him, at having not been the one to protect Elisa when she was last awake. That he couldn't control his waking and sleeping didn't matter. He was trying to change that, now. If he'd begun this research earlier, perhaps he could have been there, and perhaps that whole event could have gone far better than it did.
no subject
"We've had this conversation before," she reminded him gently, placing her hand over the claws that still rested on her hair. "You can't always be there to protect me. I can't always be there to protect you. It difficult to deal with sometimes, but that's just the way the world works."
She raised her free hand to tilt his chin down and force him to meet her gaze.
"Don't even think about blaming yourself."
no subject
He lets her lean into his hand, relishing the comfort of the contact for a moment before reaching to the book he was reading when she came in, and flipping it back open to the page describing the Mayan Sun amulet.
"I am seeking a way I will never have to again."
no subject
"I remember that," she murmured, moving her hand to trace a picture with her finger. She wondered if the amulet that had been hidden in the clock tower had survived the explosion. In the chaos that had followed, there hadn't been time to look. "That's a difficult piece of magic, Goliath."
no subject
It was important, but hardly as important as her being back. He laid his hand on her face again, turning her attention away from the book.
"I cannot allow anything like that to happen to you again."
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"We both know that it isn't as simple as that," she said, gently, "Being a cop is dangerous, but it was worth the risk to do the right thing. Life on the ship won't be any different. We'll work together and we'll take care of each other when we can, but that's enough. I don't expect anything else. I don't need anything else."
no subject
How could he make her understand, what it had been like to endure a year without his clan? Without her? With only a castle that he once valued more than his life, now only so much empty stone without the people he loves to live in it?
"Elisa, it has been a year, at least. All I have had in that time is the possibility that I might protect my clan by fighting this war. It has not been enough. You are awake again, and I am glad. But if anything should happen to you, I -"
He cuts off, sighing heavily to calm himself.
"Every time I think I have come to a position of security, it has been taken from me."
It is something he cannot say to the rest of the crew, to everyone else who is in the same position - who lives without the knowledge that their loved ones are surely safe, who face battles every day that they might not walk away from. It is something he cannot say to everyone who endures the same situation, but has only lost their whole worlds once.
"If I cannot protect you, I do not know how I can endure it again."
no subject
She had put herself into other people's shoes on more than one occasion, but it was impossible to imagine what Goliath had been through - alone, without his family and friends at his side - on the ship. Especially since there was still a lot that she didn't know about Stacy and the war.
"I wish I could tell you that it's going to be all right, but we're fighting a war against a race that can destroy worlds. I don't know what's going to happen." She paused. A few hours ago - from her point of view - they'd been standing together on the roof of the castle. Everything had seemed full of hope. "All I can say that if anyone can protect me, it's you. But that doesn't mean that it's your fault if something happens to me again."
no subject
He still had to ask her what she'd meant. What had upset her.
He still had to ask her what that morning at the castle had meant. What they were, or would have been without his needing to ask, if the Ohm had not interfered.
They could have that conversation later - when that morning was not moments ago from her perspective. He brushed her hair behind her ear one more time, feeling himself growing calm again, giving in to relief at her presence.
Relief he did not trust yet, but relief all the same.
"This ship may make a liar of me. But there is nothing I would not do to always be there for you. No matter where we are. Or when."
He exhaled slowly, calmer than before.
"I am glad to see you again."
no subject
The second question, however, was even more difficult. She'd meant what she'd said that morning, but, at the same time, they'd barely scratched the surface of what needed to be said. The world was so much bigger and so much more complicated than it had been. Maybe that was a good reason to stop hiding from her feelings.
"And that'd be the ship's fault, not yours."
She relaxed a little when Goliath calmed, then, impulsively, wrapped her arms around him for another hug.
"It's good to see you, too."
no subject
Two of the Manhattan Clan - would they be the Transmigration 9 Clan now? It sounded better than the Stacy Clan - were reunited. Perhaps this time, they would stay that way. Perhaps that also boded well for a reunion with the rest of the clan.
It occurred to Goliath that he was hungry, and so might she be. "Elisa, this ship allows me only six hours awake, but I have most of those hours before me now. I would show you the ship before my next rest, if you would like to see it."
Better that he introduce her quickly, too, to the people he considered trustworthy.
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A tour, however, was exactly what she wanted.
"That would be great. I've seen the observation deck and the weapons locker, but that's it."
She'd headed for the castle as soon as she'd realised that he was on the ship.
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It was close, and a good social hub.
"I probably owe Kang my thanks again."
no subject
She hadn't heard anything about money yet. Did they even get wages?
no subject
Goliath had never been a heavy drinker for good reasons - it usually took too much to affect him in Scotland, and he hadn't had access in Manhattan. He hadn't minded it then, and didn't mind now - after all, the last time he'd drunk to excess, it went . . .
Well, not badly. Nobody had gotten injured. Everyone had survived the hangover. But Eva had a few embarrassing stories to tell that absolutely no one else in the multiverse otherwise did.
"It's a good meeting-place. There isn't much real food on the ship, but most of the crew gathers there at some point."
He offered her his arm. They could walk through the city streets any day of the year here without causing a commotion. That might not lose its novelty for a long time.
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"I'm going to miss New York food," she said, thinking wistfully of the cafes and hot dog carts that she'd frequented at home. Maybe she'd even end up missing the awful excuse for coffee that they served at the station.
She hesitated for a moment before taking his arm, but only so she could grin at Goliath and savour the unexpected opportunities presented by life on the ship.
"But I could definitely get used to this," she finished, slipping her arm through his.
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The Sensoriums would have to come up earlier on their tour than planned.
He smiled at her last comment, his agreement left unspoken as he lead her from the castle.