trans_9 | Home is where the tart is [Open]

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Home is where the tart is [Open]

Despite not requiring much in the way of food, Zouichi did know how to cook. But with friends and acquaintances from wildly different backgrounds, he figured he could stand to expand his repertoire. So today he was trying out desserts. The inside of one of the Sensoriums had been transformed into a brightly-lit kitchen, its counters covered with baking pans, bowls, fruit, flour, and a multitude of other ingredients.

Zouichi, wearing a dark blue apron, was just taking a batch of chilled dough out of the refrigerator, rolling it carefully out between waxed paper sheets. It was looking pretty good, or so he thought. Nothing had even exploded yet!

From somewhere within the kitchen, the smell of cake wafted up into the air. Caaake.

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Well, maybe she was just rusty or something. "Here, let's try a recipe I looked up earlier."

He set aside a pile of ingredients, beginning to write out a list on his Omnicomm. "Okay, we need eggs, flour, vegetable oil, baking powder... sour milk. And we're going to need two 8-inch round pans..."

He rummaged through a nearby cabinet, pulling two down. "I'll grease these, you measure those out and whisk all of them together, all right?"

A recipe! She could read a recipe. Much better than pretending she knew what she was doing and creating some kind of awful travesty of baking that didn't taste any good at all.

Chell offered Zouichi a tiny, excited smile.

Before starting on her designated tasks, however, she returned to her pad of paper and scrawled out a question. It would be polite to make conversation, after all.

Do you bake often?

He smiled in return. "No, not really. I used to spend most of my time engaged in some rather unenviably dangerous missions. Besides, there weren't many kitchens around. What about you?"

He was sort of wondering about the no talking thing, but it would probably be impolite to ask.

...also Wheatley generally made up for the silence.

Her eyebrows raised. Unbelievably dangerous, huh?

As Chell measured out the ingredients (it really wasn't so hard now that there were instructions in front of her), she gave another shake of the head, this one a little more despondent. Kind of hard to bake when you were stuck in an underground lab.

"You know," he said, taking the expression as a request for elaboration, "Running around, getting shot at, that sort of thing."

"Well, er... don't worry about it too much. After all, you can do as much as you want now, right? I'm surprised they didn't allow you enough free time to pursue your hobbies, though. It doesn't sound like a very ethical work practice."

Chell would be the first to admit that she'd been exceedingly vague both about her past and about the real nature of her relationship with Wheatley, though she hoped that her thoughts on GLaDOS were abundantly clear.

Unethical was the least of it. Reaching for her pencil again, she scrawled out two words, her lips pulled into a tight line.

TEST SUBJECT.

"Your job was to be a test subject?" That was not even a job what

"How'd they get you to agree to that? Or did they not ask you?" Because the second choice would kind of explain a lot of things.

That answer was easy enough, at least.

No choice. GLaDOS.

Ahh. He hadn't been absolutely sure until now. "And, of course, GLaDOS is alive and well on this ship. An essential member of the crew, even. I've never encountered her myself, but I understand she's rather... unpleasant to deal with."

Unpleasant was a bit of an understatement, and Chell's expression said as much.

She didn't write anything after that, instead turning back to the bowl and filling it with the ingredients.

Cake made everything better.

Understatement was his thing. Zouichi, for his part, began creating a cherry liqueur mix to use for the interior of the cake. This was clearly going to be the best cake.

"Are you about ready to start mixing?"

Looking down at the bowl, Chell decided her ingredients were satisfactory and nodded, reaching for the electric hand mixer.

After fumbling with the cord for a moment, she found the switch and flipped it on, only to fumble and promptly drop it when the beaters buzzed in her face.

"Ah... um. Are you sure you don't want to use a hand whisk?" Zouichi wasn't going to laugh at Chell. That was mean! And rude!

...but it was kind of funny.

Luckily, Chell was undaunted. Now that she knew exactly what the thing did, she could TOTALLY USE IT NO PROBLEM. Totally. She would not cave in the face of danger, even if today, danger was electric hand-mixers.

This time, she put it in the bowl before turning it on. TAKE THAT.

Don't let it get away from you, Chell!

Zouichi set the two cake pans on the counter for her to use once she was done mixing. Oops, had he pre-heated the oven? Well, thanks to the magic of the Sensoriums, it was now at the perfect temperature.

"Sure you haven't done much of this before?"

MIXING = SUCCESS. She even remembered to turn off the appliance before licking the beaters.

Oh. Oh was she supposed to pour the batter into the pans? She could do that. Look at her, expert baker. It was probably not a surprise when she nodded in response to Zouichi's question. Totally sure. Never baked.

Uh, okay you could get salmonella from that but... well, maybe not in the Sensoriums.

"That's good," he said as she poured the better into the first pan. Once done, he stuck it into the oven, setting the timer. Well. Actually, they probably didn't need to wait that long since it was imaginary cake, did they? He set it for ten minutes. Because imaginary cakes take ten minutes to bake.

"You know, maybe when this is all over, you should go into baking or something. It sounds a lot more interesting than 'test subject'.

Yeah like Chell knew anything about the consumption of raw eggs and how it was bad for you. CAKE BATTER, okay. It was delicious.

She had to admit this imaginary cake business was enjoyable, though not something she'd ever considered. Chell tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, as if to ask really?

Don't they teach you anything in the experimental chambers with the mash spike plates oh maybe not.

He shrugged. "Sure. I guess I don't really know what it takes to run a bakery, but even if you don't want to do that, you could always do it in your spare time. You want to put the second pan in?"

Apparently not.

OH. RIGHT. The other pan. Chell at least knew enough not to let her hands touch the inside of the oven. Even if it was imaginary, it was bound to hurt if she touched it.

She carefully slid it in, shut the door, and then plunked herself right in front of the oven as if staring intently at the contents would make them bake faster.

A watched pot never boils, Chell. "On cooking shows, I think they have two versions of the cake. One's prepared ahead of time so the audience doesn't have to wait until it's cooked."

He gave her a pair of oven mitts. "I guess we could just imagine the cake done now, but... somehow it doesn't really seem like baking unless you have to wait a little while."

Chell couldn't remember having seen any cooking shows, so it made no difference to her. Besides, she was patient. She could wait a few minutes for a cake.

Suddenly, her eyes shot open as if remembering something (probably because that was exactly what she was doing). They couldn't very well have a cake without decorations!

She sprang to her feet and dashed to the cabinets, opening them and pulling out a can of frosting and

some sprinkles.

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Home is where the tart is [Open]

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