Get Back! You Don't Know Me Like That! [Closed]

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

Overall, despite the rocky entrance (no thanks to that buzzkilling jackwagon Soren), Punchy's been adjusting rather well to life on Stacy. He's got a job in Programming, already met some chill homegirl in the Sensoriums, and met some fellow super peeps at the Outsiders meeting.

He still isn't quite sure how he managed to ace his job interview. That baffles him almost as much as it would anyone else. It does, however, reaffirm his decision that codpiece bling is a Good Thing.

So, it's not quite a gangsta's paradise, but it's a far cry from the projects, which Punchy is absolutely sure he'd be an expert on despite never having lived in one. Jay-Z and blaxploitation films don't lie, right?

He finally finds his sleep cavern, which really…shouldn't be more comfortable than the cots at the Seminary, but actually are. Lying on his back, he can totally picture a pin-up above his head, if tacks will stick in those gooey walls.

He peels off his (incredibly stylish, not at all tacky-looking) costume and stretches out in the room, wearing nothing but his boxers and his goggles, which stay on his head because he honestly doesn't have enough styling gel to cover up for headband-hair.

He's about to start drifting off when he notices his new roommate approaching.

"…oh HELL naw."

Comments

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren half-placed, half-dropped a pile of books down on the bed, barely sparing a glance for the mostly-naked fellow on the other bed. He had no idea why his new roommate was already stripped of clothes, but he didn't much care; not as long as he was quiet and didn't get in Soren's way.

He didn't recognize Punchy without the mask.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"Figures some bookworm cracker like you'd bring books. You gonna beast out on those pages to figure out your magic?"

Hey, Punchy's trying to make friendly conversation! Kind of.

Even he knows this will probably not end well.

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren turned slowly. Those goggles. That abominably disheveled mop of hair. That speech.

"What are you doing here?"

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"Uh, this is my crib."

Actually, it might be a mini-crib. Since Stacy's a really big crib.

STILL.

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren scowled. "Well, you've certainly been making yourself at home. I suppose as long as you're quiet, this will be bearable until I can be moved to other accommodations."

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

'Bearable'. Great. So at least he now knows Soren's not even going to make any efforts at pleasantries. Not that he expected him to.

"Right, so I gotta keep my beats down to your volume? I don't think so, dawg. We both gotta live here."

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren had a feeling this fool was going to mean trouble. "If you mean refraining from engaging in incessant, brainless chatter, then yes. I don't believe it's too much to ask for you to behave as if you were in polite company."

Well, Punchy was, Soren wasn't. Obviously.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"That's a gyp. You think anything I say is brainless." See, he's on to your crafty tricks, Soren! "You ain't exactly polite company either, jackwagon. You front on everyone you meet and act like because you hit the books, you some kinda high-balling winner."

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

"Actually, I think that's the most intelligent thing you've head to say all day." Well, Soren didn't front on everyone. Just almost everyone.

"Say what you will, but my skills have always been in high demand." Soren had made sure of that, actually; it wasn't enough to be a ridiculously awesome mage, he had to double up on healing and battle tactics, too.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"Hah, hah." No, Punchy is not going to put his shirt on, by the way. Now it's a matter of principal. The right to annoy your roommate in your own sleep cavern. Also he's more muscular than Soren take that you skinny little douchebag.

"People be looking for my mad skills too, yo. And you see the shit the people on Galilee brought in? Your ambulance voodoo is gonna be obsolete."

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Ike is EVEN MORE MUSCLY. Sorry, Punchy, you're not going to intimidate Soren by being ripped.

Soren snorted. "I can heal people in a matter of seconds, and I don't require a 'power grid' or several tons of machinery to do so. Even if that were not the case, it will take them some time to actually figure out how to use that technology."

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

Were Punchy capable of hearing Soren's thoughts on Ike's musculature, he would point out that Ike isn't here, and then make a gigantic pouty face because his muscles are awesome.

"Ego trip, much? Look, dawg, just because you think you're hot shit doesn't mean you run this joint. We both gotta live here and I ain't doing quiet hour whenever you're in earshot."

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Don't feel too bad, Punchy. Soren thought Ike was better than everyone.

In Soren's opinion, he was hot shit. "I should have guessed you'd resort to this sort of childish behavior. Very well. If you're not capable of common courtesy, it appears we have a conflict. One that I will have to deal with accordingly until other accommodations can be arranged."

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"Wanting to not have to sit all shut up on my own turf ain't childish, dillhole. And how about you deal, instead of just saying you'll 'deal'?"

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren didn't understand the entire last half of what Punchy had just said. So instead of responding to him, he sat down on the bed, opened one of his books, and began to read.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"Yo."

Then louder. "Yo, I was talking at you! Don't just ig me!"

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren ignored him and turned another page.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

Well, if Soren's going to be like that...

Punchy, being totally mature, starts beatboxing to himself.

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren continues reading for a moment. Then he uses a wind spell to casually knock Punchy's precious costume to the floor.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

Oh, real mature, Soren.

Punchy picks up one of the books off the bed and licks his fingertips between turning pages.

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren puts his book down on his lap. "Don't touch my books."

A warning... OR A THREAT?

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

Punchy continues to leaf through Soren's book. "I'm seeing what all the hype's about."

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren snatched the book out of his hands. "You wouldn't be able to read one even if you were literate."

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"Who says I ain't literate, jackass?" Now Punchy's actually kind of mad. He's proud of his literacy!

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

"Ah, yes. And what do you read? Comic books?"

Soren had learned what comic books were. And he disdained them.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. Actually, I do read comic books. And the internet."

And...it's been about a decade since he's cracked an actual book.

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

"Ah, yes. Clearly great works of literature, deserving of years of intensive study." Soren sniffed. "How long since you've read a book?"

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"Oh, come on, you don't even know what the internet is."

Because changing the subject is clearly the best way to win an argument.

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren looked especially smug. "It's a series of interconnected computers that share information with each other. My, it's as though I learned that by reading."

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"And do you know what the net can do, or can you just spit some facts on it?"

Dammit, Soren, don't be smart with him! He can't keep up!

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

"Certainly. It's a series of tubes used to relay information. Videos, images, text. The pooling of informational resources from multiple sources. I'm surprised you need to have this explained to you."

/smugsmugsmug

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, okay, someone gave you a Wiki printout. Congrats. I'll sling up a house party for you first thing. I tell you that I got a job, even after I got ratted for copping your comm?"

And yes, he's totally proud of that job, and no, Soren, you did not stand in his way in getting it. Vision actually listed his ability to hack as a positive! So there!

Punchy bets Soren couldn't get a job in Programming, neener neener.

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

"Oh? Congratulations. I have two. And no one actually reported you, you know; it was your own ineptitude that got you noticed."

Seriously, Soren hadn't even gotten a chance to tell Billy anything before he'd notice Punchy had hacked the Omnicomm.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"I wasn't trying to keep it on the downlow, doofus."

Seriously, he didn't even know it was against the rules.

"Jobs doing what, being a dick and having no homies?"

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

"Then you did an admirable job." Soren smiled tightly. "And that's information you don't need to know."

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

He matches that tight smile, except it just looks goofy on him. "A'ight. And what happens if I find out?"

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren snorts. "Then I suppose you will have manifested the astonish ability to ask the appropriate people for information. An amazing milestone in your personal development, I'm sure."

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

Punchy frowns. "Why you gotta be such a dillhole? I ain't even done anything that bad to you. I'm sorry about bustin' on your personal bubble earlier, if you're still just ticked about that."

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren waved his hand dismissively. "You're an annoyance, nothing more."

Oh, Punchy. Licking Soren's books is like declaring war on a foreign country.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well, you're a fuckin' riot yourself."

Consider war declared, Soren. Punchy will totally maintain that you started it, no matter how kindergartenish that (or any of this situation) sounds.

What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

And Soren would insist that Punchy started it. He went back to his reading with an audible sniff.