trans_9 | If I Have to Lie, Steal, Cheat or Kill [Semi-Open]

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If I Have to Lie, Steal, Cheat or Kill [Semi-Open]

Howard hasn't gotten a full night of sleep since a little before they landed on Galilee. The events of that particular mission certainly haven't helped. Recently he's taken up to squinting to combat the way his eyes feel as if they're covered in dustbunnies and sand, and his usual skittishness has turned into an unconscious twitch and tremble.

After spending at least a few hours of the night pacing the Warehouse, now otherwise devoid of life except for him and Emergency Rations the Cat, he finally sinks to his anxious instincts and pulls open the hidden closet to reveal the cans and cans of non-perishable food. Then he closes the door again, places back the wall panel. That's for emergencies. That's for starvation.

He checks Albert's room again to see if his business partner has magically appeared back in his bed, but the immaculate, orderly room remains empty. It's not even as if he liked Albert. If pressed, he might even admit to hating him. But Howard doesn't like that someone in his life has vanished without warning. He's had bad experiences with that.

Emergency Rations follows him to the front door. She brushes up against his legs while he puts his shoes on, and for a moment on the floor he pulls her to his chest and breathes into her fur. Then he fills her bowl up with more kibble, taking a handful for himself, and locks her inside the house while he heads to Hydroponics.

He passes the beer tree, passes the carnivorous plants, and finds a quiet little nook with exactly what he's looking for - fruit trees.

The fresh, strange fruits within arm's reach don't last him all that long - partially due to his relatively small stature and their slick, unclimbable bark. But there are some on the ground, if rotten. He's not picky. He gathers them from around the surface roots of the trees and sets them in one sloppy, oozing pile.

He sits with his back against one of the trees, resting his head on a loose knot and swallowing pieces of overripe fruit while barely chewing. It's a temporary comfort. Just because people disappear on Stacy doesn't mean she's about to put them in some death trap. Stacy's always been like this, taking people when it makes sense to her. It's just never been someone close to Howard.

Thinking about how he's the only person from the FAYZ still awake here sends a shiver down his back, but the sweet juice in his mouth does well to remind him that he's not back home, not in the FAYZ, not buying time from death, not going to go hungry again.

[OOC: Due to the tone of this post I'd like to keep this limited to a few threads; hit me up in PM or AIM if you want to tag here. I'll be having a less wangsty open post for Howard up in a few days for those interested in getting CR with him under different circumstances.]

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"Maybe we could just turn on the legitimate hot tub to a really, really high temperature. I wonder how long it takes to cook someone in a jacuzzi?" He takes another bite of fruit but takes a while before he can force himself to swallow it.

"I don't know. I figure it gives some people a sense of purpose, or whatever. They're fighting to save the multiverse and all. It makes them feel like Stacy picked them because they're special little snowflake superheroes."

He bites his lip, then decides to just go ahead and continue being honest with Tim. "Pretty much. First we killed each other, then we starved, then we killed each other some more, then the power went out, then we starved some more, then a bunch of people killed themselves, then some people ate the people who killed themselves, then we killed each other more, and then we got eaten by bugs."

He holds up three fingers. "Fourteen months, one third of us."

He suddenly feels that queasiness intensify and lurches to his feet. He rushes over to a thresh of bushes and vomits. Eat until you're sick, hope that convinces you not to eat anymore. It doesn't. He walks back to where he was sitting before and grabs another fruit off the ground. "Sorry about that."

"Probably longer time than the subtle method is worth," Tim said, with a raised eyebrow. In reality he had a fairly good idea of how easily people died in various situations, but that wasn't something he was divulging any time soon.

"I guess so," Tim agreed with Howard's assessment, and shrugged halfheartedly. "I suppose if people are into the whole... heroic, save the universe thing." Which Tim was, strictly speaking, 'into'. He didn't enjoy the time on the ship, but doing the 'hero thing' was what he did.

Tim didn't have a chance to say much else before Howard was running to the bushes and expelling the rotten fruit he'd been forcing himself to eat. He contemplated getting up to check on him, but he knew it was unnecessary. And he was hardly surprised. "That's okay," he said, watching quietly as Howard returns his attention to the fruit, regardless. That feeds Tim's growing assessment of the boy, but that was another matter. "I... imagine that was pretty rough," Tim said, frowning. Referring to the story Howard had told. But he won't offer pity or sympathy, because he can tell the boy wouldn't appreciate that, would likely close down at least partially. "I'm willing to bet you hate bugs, then, if nothing else." Then, he said, "I guess 'Stacy' doesn't seem as bad, in that light. More food, less murder. Some missions excluded."

"Yeah, but if it worked and you used your resources right, you'd feed yourself for a while." Cannibalism's a funny thing for Howard. Sometimes he can laugh about it, or at the very least deadpan. But whenever he thinks about it too hard, about his buddy Panda digesting in the Coates' kids stomach, he feels faint and that gag reflex starts going. So he doesn't think about it too hard right now, just skimming the surface with bleak humor.

"You're not? What with all the 'correctional facilities' and 'passionate about preventing crime' stuff?" He puts all his air quotes in just the right spot to seem casual and convivial, but he's concentrated like a laser now, looking for that crack in the armor to figure Tim out. This has been one of the first opportunities in their conversation he can get a meaningful question in, instead of just an introductory one.

He's glad Tim doesn't call any more attention to the bingeing. He doesn't want to have to explain it, because he knows it's crazy, but he feels like he can't stop. It's much easier on him that Tim just continues with their conversation as if little has happened. "I don't know. Bugs are alright. Just not the giant ones that eat people."

"Fair enough," Tim said with a grimace. He'd not dealt with cannibalism much in his life, fortunately-- though he remembered one pretty disturbing story he'd come across-- but he was dealing with it in the way that it seemed Howard was most comfortable with: dark humour. "So maybe it could work out."

He fell silent for a moment, before he responded, "I never said 'facilities', for the record. But that's-- my job. It's important to me, it's part of who I am. But having more work to do will never be my goal. I want less work, because that means I'm doing something right." It was fairly honest, overall, anyway, even though he knew Howard was fishing.

Tim nodded to that, but with a raised eyebrow. "So, bug aliens are probably going to be out, huh?" Of course, the Ohm were bug-like, but that was beside the point. Possibly.

"No prisons or juvie for you? Me neither. On either side." Although there'd certainly been that threat, but thirteen was too young to get in too much trouble for petty theft and vandalism.

"So what do you do when everything's done? Or are you just one of those pessimists who think your work never will be done?" He takes a bite of fruit again, washing the taste of sickness down with sour fruit juice. "I got a friend, Zouichi? I think if his work's ever done he's going to have the world's biggest identity crisis or something. Don't tell him I said that, by the way."

He shrugs. "As long as they don't eat me, they're just regular terrifying instead of bone-chillingly terrifying. Which is the best I can hope for in this life these days, I guess."

"Good to hear," Tim grimaced, with a nod. "My work was more about helping people avoid those things." At least, that's what his day job was.

"I'd like to think that one day it'll be done," Tim said, and smiled slightly. "I don't know how likely that is, but I guess if that comes up, I can just work in the actual business side of things. Some kind of corporate job," he shrugged. Honestly, he'd never known what he was going to do after he finished crime fighting-- and that was before he'd decided crime fighting was really all he could do-- so he'd never had much of an idea about a career. But his interest was peaked by the mentions of Zouichi-- another observer could give him some insight in this other crew member, too. "And really? What, is it kind of 'my whole life revolves around this' kind of thing?"

He gave Howard a sheepish look, and commented that "that's better than nothing, I guess."

"I always wanted to run a business. Employ who I want, make people pay for something designed the way I'd like it. Maybe a restaurant or a club or something." All those dreams seems a long way off, though. He seems about as attached to them as Tim is to his.

"It's his whole purpose. I don't think he even knows how to do something truly selfish." Which makes him the opposite of Howard. Which makes Howard worry. If there's one thing Howard's truly good at, it's surviving, and Howard thinks that's only the smart thing to do. It's not that he thinks Zouichi is stupid, far from, but he worries. It shows on his face when he talks about him.

"Yeah, maybe. Fear's just my lot in life, I guess."

Tim nodded to that. Howard didn't seem passionate about the idea, but it was still something. "I guess there's a plus in all that," he laughed. "Maybe I'll get there one day, too. It'd be nice to have a semblance of control over my life."

Of course, getting some opinions on Zouichi? Certainly an added bonus. And Howard seems genuine about it all. So they'd be friends, then. Tim frowned slightly, but he was listening intently. "Selfless is good, but... Well, I guess you have to take care of yourself, too, right? Being so focused on what you do can be dangerous." Logically, anyway. He knew that hardly stopped people.

"Well, you know what they say about fear," he grimaced. "Still unfortunate though."

Howard snorts. "Totally. If we live that long." Which, honestly, isn't looking like that likely an ending. Between all the close calls and stressors of just living, Howard doesn't really see himself ever making it to old enough to drink legally, much less run a business.

"Yeah, but it's not like he cares about dangerous. If he dies, it's like...occupational hazard. And I don't know, I guess I'd get to pick up the pieces or something. It's what I do." And to Howard, self-centered as he is, it seems like it'd just be selfish of Zouichi to die and leave him alone again. He's already had enough of friends who don't fear death.

Tim doesn't seem to really believe that 'taking care of yourself' thing, though. Although maybe Howard's drawing connections that don't exist in his sleep-deprived state. It occurs to him that the tree behind him would be a scratchy yet suitable pillow.

"What, that it's just love turned to vinegar, or that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself?" He doesn't really believe either.

"I try to remain an optimist in the face of universes ceasing to exist," Tim quipped, with raised eyebrows in mock incredulity at Howard.

"Sounds rough," Tim frowned. "For the both of you, I mean. Friends in bad situations can be as bad as being in them yourself." He shook his head, then added, "I take it you can't make him consider his own life a bit more, then?" He could understand both sides, really. He'd had friends in very bad situations and he'd shown a disregard for his own safety often enough. 'Occupational hazard' was about right.

Tim laughed slightly, then said, "Mostly the second one, I guess."

"I was an optimist! For about five years, then I had to start going to school and got that kicked out of me. Literally." He mimics Tim's expression. Expressive faces are always a plus in Howard's book.

"Not a chance. He doesn't listen to me. He's the only person I know who hears an explosions and run towards it before it's even done going off." And even more than the not-so-appealing idea of going back to the FAYZ, he's most worried about, if they succeed, Zouichi going back to his world to inevitably die on his mission.

Tim laughed quietly again at that, and nodded, but he was still cataloguing this stuff. "I guess that would do it, then," he said, with an edge of sympathy in his voice.

He shifted how he sat slightly, still frowning to himself. "I guess he's just really invested in that stuff then. One of those hero types?" he asked.

At first, Howard wants to laugh at Tim and ask Tim how would he know what it's like to be really badly bullied, but as he opens his mouth to say something, he does take into account that Tim's not all that much taller than he is. That Tim has a certain youthfulness to his face, that could be read as vulnerability to someone looking fr a target.

That Tim's an orphan. So instead Howard just pretends he was opening his mouth to take another chomp out of his fruit, shrugs and says, "well, at least you weren't black at a mostly white school."

He nods. "Completely. Normally I can't stand those types, but he's good people. Nice. Doesn't put up with my bullshit. Has really bad taste in pets. He's letting me stay over most nights."

Tim watched Howard's actions closely, aware that they seemed off, but not pushing it in any way. Instead, he grimaced at what Howard said, nodding. "That's true. I was lucky in that regard, I guess." No need saying anything about that Tim actually avoided most kids at his schools, that bouncing around private schools was his thing as a kid. But he'd seen enough bullying-- other schoolmates-- to understand, dealt with them sometimes personally as Tim. And he remembered what happened in his public high school, to a friend. With bullies having gone to far. Another thing Tim can't forgive himself for.

Tim smiled softly at that. "He sounds like a pretty good friend," he commented. "Especially if you're putting up with something you don't normally appreciate."

Howard runs a hand over his face, trying to brush away how tired he is. Maybe he should call it a night and just sneak back into Zou's inn again, but at least he's not alone right now and there are still three and a half fruits left. He can't just let those go to waste.

"Yeah. He is." He cracks his neck and takes another bite. "So, aside from Sleeping Beauty in the pods, do you have any friends on this ship or just acquaintances?"

Tim frowned as he watched Howard's movements, noting the tiredness but also the reluctance to move. He wondered if the boy was planning on going any time soon. "You're not too tired?" he asked, testing the waters.

Tim shook his head at that. "Not really any friends, no," he admitted. "I've talked to people, sure, I guess I just haven't really hit it off with anyone. There are definitely some good people here, though." Of course, as Red Robin that was a different story.

Edited 2011-09-05 19:33 (UTC)

"I've been too tired. I couldn't sleep an hour ago without getting up every ten minutes to make sure I'm not covered in flesh-eating bugs, so what are the odds that the extra sixty minutes did me any good?" he snaps, then looks apologetic. He knows Tim's only trying to help, but he's tired of feeling like good intentions will never be enough to fix the problem. "Maybe I'll go home and figure out how to whip up chloroform."

That's curious. Tim's been here at least as long as Howard has, if he was on the marrying planet mission, and even Howard's managed to make friends. And he's been told he's notoriously prickly. Which means Tim makes even less of an effort than Howard does. "So you're a hermit."

Tim winced, for show if nothing else, at Howard's snap, but he relaxed at the apologetic look. "Fair enough," he said to that, frowning still. "I can't say chloroform's a great idea, though." He shrugged, "I can't blame you though-- sleepless nights aren't particularly enjoyable."

Tim laughed at that. It was a bit more earnest, this time, and he smiled slightly. "I guess maybe I am," he said. He was curious about how much Howard was picking apart, the way he was doing with him. "I tend to hang back a lot, I guess. I've gotten along with people-- Ronnae's nice enough, Rory seems like a good guy. I guess it's just not much more than that, yet." He shrugged for emphasis.

"I've been up for like, two straight days. My skin's vibrating." He sighs and takes another bite, then pauses and gestures to the remaining fruit. "You want one?"

Given how Howard feels about the food, it's a generous gesture, a motion of gratitude and apology to Tim. It doesn't really occur to Howard that most kids wouldn't have the faintest interest in the old fruit, if they weren't outright repulsed by it.

"Ronnae's nice enough, but she seriously needs a spine. Rory's...Rory's good people." He thinks through his list of people he spends time with. It's short. "Karis is pretty chill. Mostly I stick to hanging with the rest of medical, though."

Tim frowned. "I'd say that's not healthy, but I'm pretty sure you know that," he said. He was about to say more-- but then Howard offered him one of the fruit. He was actually genuinely surprised at the gesture (something that was, admittedly, fairly hard to do). Howard's feelings about food and waste were pretty obvious, after all, and so the gesture itself meant more than it would have coming from someone else. Of course, to Tim that meant it was something to be treated carefully-- dealing with an offer like that could be delicate. While he didn't get that Howard was sensitive about it... on the other hand, he wasn't keen about the idea, though he could stomach it.

"Thanks," Tim said, and flashed a smile-- a bit more genuine than most of his early ones had been, because he did appreciate the offer for what it was. He nodded, reaching for one of the fruits, and taking it carefully in his hand. He listened to Howard closely while he thumbed the fruit in his hand, taking a careful bite before he responded.

He nodded his agreement. "I guess so," he commented. "Medical seems pretty tight-knit, from what I've seen. I get that vibe."

"Yeah, I think we might have covered that in my medic training," he says dryly. "Or nutrition class. One or the other."

He watches Tim take the fruit, giving a small, but genuine, smile back. Howard's not really looking for friends, but he knows that even mild insomniacs have better things to do with their time than spend it talking down a panicky basketcase of a teenager.

"It's sort of like..." He wrings his hands as he tries to find a way to put Medical. "It's like a family reunion, except people actually are doing interesting stuff and there aren't any cousins around to beat you up. I mean, it's not family, it's not like that, but it sort of feels like people have your back, you know?"

"I'd hope so," Tim replied idly, voice nearly as dry. "It seems pretty important."

Tim chewed and ate carefully, with a little bit of effort, but he could manage it. It was the principle of the thing, then.

But he smiled again, just a small one, as Howard explained how Medical was. "No, I think I understand," he said with a nod. Considering his own 'family'. "It sounds nice, though-- family or no."

"I mean, sleeping, eating, drinking, videogames and sarcasm. What else do growing boys need to survive?" Not that he's growing much. He's been measuring himself to see if having a regular food supply has helped him finally hit that growth spurt, but the pencil mark on his wall has steadfastly refused to move upwards. It only gets thicker.

He furrows his brow a minute, partially in thought and partially because his eyes are dry. "...Out of curiosity, how'd you end up with your adoptive dad?"

Tim smiled at that. "Can't think of anything else," he replied, casually, before he let out a thoughtful hum. Of course, he'd basically finished his own growing, too. "Maybe comic books," he offered. "For a change of pace from time to time." He realised it was geeky. But at least he didn't mention tabletop RPGs.

Of course, the more lighthearted jokes were kind of derailed anyway, when Howard decided to ask more about Tim's family. He frowned, taking another bite of his rotted fruit, less hesitant this time. Chewing carefully, before he finally decided on saying "he was my neighbour and a family friend. He took care of me when my dad couldn't. So since there was no family..." it was natural. Especially given his role as teacher to Tim.

Howard face lights up a bit when Tim mentions comic books. He's always been a bit gun-shy about mentioning them since it got him shoved into a locker in fourth grade. "Man, I love comic books. It's total bullshit that the Media Library doesn't have any of the good ones. Although, I guess, I don't know. Maybe I should give Watchmen another go."

Howard nods, turning that over in his head. "Were you like...looking for family?" He's not really asking so much to know more about Tim, anymore, but trying to pick at the tangled knot of fear, resentment and need that is his own relationship with Rory.

If I Have to Lie, Steal, Cheat or Kill [Semi-Open]

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aww, it is a cute icon.

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