See How My Garden Grows [Very Open]

[echoofaperson.livejournal.com]

He hadn't done much laying around as a teenager. He'd always been too busy, one social event to another.

After the Yeerks...well, Temrash had less love for being lazy than Iniss did, but neither of them were really set on protracted periods of inactivity. And there was always something Sharing related, or feeding related, or just...something. Rank play had been a major time suck in his youth, and needing to be somewhere every three days made planning anything else a bit of a suck.

He'd flopped down on the hill next to the garden he had spent so much time losing time in, one hand gripping Bobby's leash to keep the dog from running off, but eyes closed and body relaxed.

Too much stuff was happening, lately. He wasn't used to keeping up with it anymore. Jake was back and Sam was dating Xander and Dean and Kaylee had broken up. He wasn't even sure how to handle half of that, much less all of it at once.

No wonder the garden looked so well tended, the neat rows gave him something to do, something to think about, something that made perfect sense because plants needed like...two things, water and weeding, and they weren't much on demanding an emotional investment beyond that.

Bobby shifted, licking his hand and resting his head on his shoulder, watching the chickens and their chicks poke around nearby.

Why couldn't life just be this simple?

Comments

[caringcassie.livejournal.com]

Cassie giggled. "Marco was the one who chose our name, although I don't know that he ever seriously thought that we'd adopt it. It ended up sticking though. I'm sure that Jake would have come up with a great name though had Marco not beaten him to the punch." Cassie then smiled teasingly, "I think that we'd have made Rachel's day if we'd let her choose the outfits."

"He is," she said firmly, referring to Bobby. It was clear to her, as she watched Tom with the dog, that Bobby was important to him, although how important was still an unknown.

"Thank you," she responded gratefully. "I've heard before that freshly grown vegetables are the best, but I've never had the chance to taste them like that before. And I look forward to seeing what Eva can do with them."

Her eyes narrowed in concern as she watched Tom shrink away. Had she said something wrong? She hadn't meant too.

But she could certainly relate to the sentiment. "I think that we all do," she smiled kindly. "I know that I've been feeling rather useless myself since waking up. I hope that I can find my own place aboard the ship."

[echoofaperson.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, that sounds like Marco." He smiled, still keeping Bobby between them. "Rachel loved doing things like that. I think she thought Sara was a doll when they brought her home. Used to help her mom pick outfits when she was tiny."

Bobby was important. The dog's tolerance had helped him through a lot of things on the ship, had soaked up a lot of pain he otherwise had no outlet for.

"Yeah, me too. Anything is better than slop, though."

He shrank further at the look, knowing it meant he was reacting wrong, but only able to think that he was doing it wrong and should stop trying.

"Yeah..." He swallowed, nervously stroking Bobby's fur, focusing in on the tactile sensation of petting the dog. "I mean, I can't fight or anything, and Sam's teaching me how to fly, but he's busy so I don't want to use up too much of his time. So gardening is pretty useful and it's something I can do and it's quiet and you don't have to do a lot with it but..." he trailed off, aware that he was babbling and unable to think of something to say to right the train of thoughts.

The worst thing he could think of was someone pointing out that he was different than before.

[caringcassie.livejournal.com]

"Rachel never told me that," Cassie laughed. "Oh, that is very sweet. I'll have to bring it up the next time I see her."

Behind the laughter though was worry as she watched him continuing to use the dog as a buffer between them and to pull away from her. Why? She had been trying to keep her body language as non-threatening as possible, but still he shied away. Admittedly, it wasn't as though he knew her terribly well, but still the reaction confused and upset her. She hid it all behind her laughter though, hoping that he wouldn't see.

"You're learning to fly a spaceship? That must be interesting," she told him eagerly, her voice all positivity. "I'd probably crash the thing." That was very likely true, but if she was completely honest, she'd also take flying as an osprey any day of the week. That was not a helpful response for this conversation though.

She looked out at the garden and sighed, "Well, I think that this is a wonderful use of time. Eva's agreed to let me help her in her garden. I'm hoping to learn a thing or two." She tilted her head and grinned. "Maybe I could start my education here. Could you teach me a bit about how to get a garden to thrive like this one? I'd like to learn."

[echoofaperson.livejournal.com]

"Don't encourage my cousin to beat me up, Cassie. That's not nice. She was tiny."

He could tell he was upsetting her, and that just made it worse. He didn't know how to handle her or how to have a casual conversation with someone important to his brother. He kept second guessing everything he said. It wasn't her, it was all him and he knew it. It just made him want to run and hide and definitely keep Bobby between them.

He nodded, hesitant. "Yeah, an X-Wing."

He glanced at the garden, then back at her. "I'm not a very good teacher. Eva's got way more experience than I do. She'd be better at it. She's smarter too."

[caringcassie.livejournal.com]

Cassie smiled and nodded. "Okay, then. I suppose that I can hold back on mentioning it to her. She'd probably be more likely to come after me though. It's still a very cute story. Thank you for telling me it. It's one that she would never have told me herself."

She just managed to suppress a sigh as she watched Tom. She was starting to worry that her presence was making things worse rather then better and she definitely didn't want that to happen. Hesitating for a moment, she briefly debated if continuing this conversation was really best for him. If he was so uncomfortable...

But she wasn't ready to give up yet. His timidness was a surprise to her, but wouldn't it be better if they could get past this? It was at least worth an attempt. If he asked her to leave though, she knew that she'd do just that. It wasn't worth upsetting him more. He'd already been through enough.

Cassie nodded enthusiastically when he named the spaceship. It wasn't something that meant a lot to her on its own, but she suspected the fact that he'd brought up flying a spaceship at all by himself must mean that it meant something to him and that meant that it was important to Cassie. "Is it fun to fly it?"

"Eva's very smart and I can't wait to learn all that she has to teach me," Cassie agreed, her gaze surveying the garden for a moment before turning her attention back to Tom, "But so are you, Tom." She tilted her head, keeping her eyes focused on him. "I'd really like to hear what you have to say on the matter, but I won't force it on you if you'd rather not."

[echoofaperson.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, Rachel doesn't like to admit that she was adorable once. But she was." he smiled, a little hesitant, the emotion still not quite right on his face.

He was trying, god was he trying. But it was so hard. He didn't know what she wanted. He didn't know how to small talk. He didn't know what she expected him to be like, only that he wasn't doing it right.

It was times like these that he wanted Iniss back the most, wanted someone else to be there to take over when he didn't know what to do or say or how to react.

"Yeah, it's a lot of fun. Sam says I'm getting pretty good too, only they don't want inexperienced pilots actually out in single pilots, so I'll have to stick to simulations for now."

He sucked on his lip, fidgeting with his fingers against Bobby's fur. The dog turned, licking his fingers, whining low in his throat.

That was a good thing to focus on.

"I ah...Eva'd be better." He looked at the ground, uncomfortable with being stared at, lip nearly bloody under the assault of his teeth. "I'm just...learning as I go."

[caringcassie.livejournal.com]

Cassie nodded and smiled some more. She actually suspected that it was more a matter of Rachel not liking to feel as though she was leaving herself vulnerable and that, to admit that she had once been an innocent little girl, left her feeling uncomfortably open. But she suspected that saying that right now would be unwise. "I used to love getting her mother talking when I saw her. Rachel's face generally went crimson, but I always thought the stories were just sweet." She made a face. "If you wanted embarrassing, my parents were generally thrilled to comply."

Cassie was trying too, but reading people was hardly a science and the signs she was getting from Tom were all over the place. He wasn't comfortable, but she wasn't convinced that he really wanted her to leave him either. She wished that she knew better what to do, but she was at a loss. It was an uncomfortable feeling.

"I'm glad that you're enjoying it," she commented, still enthusiastic. "I could definitely see why they would only want to let experienced pilots out though. It's dangerous." Worry for him flitted across her face. It was one thing to think about him doing it as an exercise, but another to think of him taking a ship out on his own. She was frightened for Tom for his own sake and she frightened for Jake as well if he was forced to lose his brother again. They were not pleasant thoughts at all, so she shoved them aside, but she couldn't completely rid herself of the fear.

"Aren't we all?" she asked quietly and then smiled. "Life is just learning as we go. As far as gardening goes though, you're talking to a complete novice here."

[echoofaperson.livejournal.com]

"Making Rachel blush was always funny. She never seemed to be the type, even as a little kid. Rachel's tough. That just made it more fun to help Aunt Naomi make her flustered." He grinned. "I guess I lucked out, mom and dad were pretty good at giving us space. They didn't tease too much, and when they did it wasn't bad. Mostly because dad sorta sucked at it, and mom saved her cutting wit for when we deserved it."

He missed his parents, his mom. It had been years since he'd been able to rely on them, but he still missed them.

"Yeah, it's dangerous. But enough things happen on the ship that it's not a whole lot more dangerous than just being here."

He'd ended up in the middle of a war at fourteen and he hadn't managed to find his way out yet.

He stroked Bobby's head, not looking at her. He didn't feel ready to teach. He didn't even feel ready to talk to her for long periods of time, and he was pretty sure teaching invovled lots of talking. "Eva's better at teaching. I'm just good..." what was he good at? "Being here."

[caringcassie.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, it could be funny, although I'm not sure that I'd say that within earshot of Rachel," Cassie agreed with a laugh, but she sobered as the topic came back to his parents. She could tell from the tone of his voice that he missed them, although, even if she hadn't been able to hear it, she'd still probably have assumed it. It was hard being apart from those you loved. She felt a pang thinking of her own parents, but pushed it away. She smiled understandingly. "That must have been nice. I was an only child, so my parents liked to tease. They knew what was too far though and always managed to stop short of that point. I'm pretty sure their aim was just mild embarrassment." Her parents particularly loved to tease her about her feelings for Jake, but she had never really minded. She'd been close to both of them.

"Really? That doesn't sound promising for things on the ship," she commented a bit uneasily. She knew that they still had to be cautious on Stacy, but she'd sort of hoped that it would turn out that they were all just being overcautious. Cassie wasn't sure that she'd believed that, but she'd hoped. But this sounded like more confirmation that they weren't necessarily safe here. She continued quietly a moment later, still worried, "Well, please just be careful when you start flying for real."

"I see. Well, no problem there," Cassie pressed on with a forced cheerfulness to cover over the worry. "It won't hurt me to wait." She focused her eyes on Tom, hoping to catch his eye, but he wasn't even looking at her. A frown flickered for a second, but was quickly replaced before he could focus on her again. "You seem to have the right temperament for this kind of thing. Calm and patient." Her eyes drifted to Bobby for a second. "And if Bobby is any example, you must fare well with animals too. They do tend to respond well to a kind heart and gentle hands."