a fabulous team aperture adventure [open]

[fattynoparents]

They were very most definitely in space.

Chell hadn't wanted to believe it--as horrible as Aperture was, the Laboratories were at least familiar and...not space--but the overwhelming evidence was right in front of her, nearly everywhere she looked (and she'd made it her personal mission to look everywhere). Knowing all the ins and outs of a place made it that much easier to plot a getaway.

Escaping was what she planned to do, of course, right after she found where they were keeping her portal device, and where GLaDOS was hiding. She didn't want to fight an army of bug aliens. Stranded between dimensions or not, she wanted the same thing she always wanted--her freedom, and no psychotic computer (Stacy or otherwise) was going to keep it from her.

And speaking of psychotic computers...

Toting an overly excitable metal sphere without the portal device predictably impeded her progress when it came to combing the ship, to say nothing of her reasons for doing so. In true Wheatley fashion, the personality construct seemed to have little comprehension of their situation's gravity, and was probably just glad he wasn't off orbiting the Moon. The sooner she got him down to Engineering, the better, even if she was more than a little apprehensive at the idea of granting him any sort of independence (ultimately, however, her robot charge was heavy and her arms were starting to hurt).

One thing she could not deny was the overwhelming vastness and strangeness of the craft. Every inch of it begged to be explored, analyzed, committed to memory. Then, perhaps, she could plan her next move.

[OOC: Chell and Wheatley are anywhere you want/need them to be, poking around and being nosy. Just specify a location in the subject line and we will make the magic happen.]

Comments

Pinkie is everywhere and nowhere at once

[mylittlelolny.livejournal.com]

"Hey lady! Lady! Lady! Lady! Hey! Lady! Hey, lady, hey! Hey! Hey!" Oh dear, who could that high-pitched and excitable voice belong to, and where was it coming from? And should Chell start running lest she never escape?

Schrodinger's Horse

[notamoron]

"--such a big spaceship, and you know, if all of it is alive, I wonder how it eats? I mean, I don't see any mouth or anything anywhere." Yep, Wheatley was already babbling. Lucky you, Chell. But he quickly picked up on the high pitched and excitable voice, and his eye shifted to look around. "Oh, bless me! It's the pink mutant pony!" he declared, legitimately happy to see her.

this thread is already the stuff of chell's nightmares

[fattynoparents]

Chell had become pretty well-practiced when it came to tuning out Wheatley. Just concentrate on something else (like deciding where to place portals, or idly wondering what scientist had the idea to program him British), and the accented chatter became nothing but background noise while she took care of productive things. At one point in the pitch-dark corridors of the turret manufacturing lines, his anecdotes and thinking aloud and endless rhetorical questions (and flashlight) had been something of a comfort in that it meant she wasn't so terribly alone, but now she found all his talk grating. Probably had something to do with the fact that she was still mad at him for all those attempted murders.

The instant another voice joined Wheatley's, deja vu hit Chell like a freight train. OH GOD WHAT IF SPACE CORE HAD A VOCAL OVERHAUL AND FOLLOWED THEM HERE. When she turned, however, she could not decide if the reality was better or worse.

It was, as the AI so eloquently described, a pink mutant pony, the sight of which made her stop and gape, eyebrows furrowed in complete and utter confusion.

Chell's life is pain and annoyance

[mylittlelolny.livejournal.com]

Just when you thought nearly getting shot to the moon would be the highlight of the horrible things that could happen in your life, Chell, now you get to deal with this.

"Oh! You're Mr. Wesley from before! I didn't know you were a funny-looking beachball! No wonder you can't eat dessert! Who's your friend? Are you carrying Mr. Wesley cause he's got no legs? That's so nice of you!"

And so on and so forth and Chell just run while you still can.

Re: Chell's life is pain and annoyance

[notamoron]

"That's me! Except it's Wheatley," he replied. "Where are my manners? This is Chell! Do be kind, she's got--" He remembered the smack the last time he told people she had brain damage. "Ah, she's... an excellent jumper?" he offered. "So what brings you down here? We're just exploring, getting our bearings, you know."

[icanhashat.livejournal.com]

Jayne was in the Sensorium working out in a recreation of a gym set oddly enough in the middle of a grassy field. Push ups at the moment while some music played.

You got scker’s luck, have you given up?
Does it feel like a trial?
Does it trouble your mind the way, you trouble mine.

Sweating a in a sort of zenlike state he continued feeling the burn in his arms with each push.

[fattynoparents]

Chell wasn't sure what to expect when she found the Sensoriums, but it certainly wasn't anything like this.

The sight of a field, an actual field of grass, not the unruly foliage that had grown over the Enrichment Center, was enough to make her breath catch in her throat. She knew it wasn't real--there was no way--but she could not remember the last time she'd seen anything like it, and Chell was instantly overwhelmed.

There were more important things than wondering if it was real or not. After a good long moment of standing and staring, she bent over to unceremoniously dump Wheatley on the ground (sorry bro, at least she didn't drop you) and tear off her boots, closing her eyes and sighing heavily, relishing the feel of the grass beneath her feet.

It was only after she registered the music (the song was familiar, for some reason--perhaps she'd heard it on one of those radios, she decided) that she looked up and realizing Jayne was here too.

Oh. Well this was maybe a little awkward.

Sorry it took me so long, I wasn't sure if I should wait for Wheatly or not.

[icanhashat.livejournal.com]

Jayne didn't notice her right away either and did at least three more push ups with manly grunts before his head rose to glance her way. He grinned a smug self satisfied sort of grip and tucked an arm around his back and started a set of one armed push ups.

Showing off like only the manliest of gorillas.

Re: Sorry it took me so long, I wasn't sure if I should wait for Wheatly or not.

[notamoron]

Wheatley didn't so much care for being deposited like that. Of course, it was the first time he had ever seen grass before. "Oh, what is this curious sensation?" he asked. "Like a million little fingers, tickling my face... Getting into places they shouldn't be..."

[fattynoparents]

The AI's thinking aloud tore Chell from her reverie. Now that her boots were off and her hands were free, she didn't really have an excuse to leave him lying there, robo-face in the grass.

She wasn't sure what Jayne was doing, working out in the middle of a field, but maybe he could go about his business while she went about hers. Her business, as it turned out, included plunking down on the grass next to Wheatley, adjusting him so that he could sit upright and not be molested in the eye by a lawn.

Not really making the connection of one-armed pushups to showing off, Chell allowed herself to enjoy the feel of all this grass while watching Jayne curiously, her head tilted to one side, a hand offering a small wave in greeting.

Obs Deck

[8wings.livejournal.com]

Anwei sat and stared out at the curve of the planet under them, frowning. Nothing but garbled video noise showed on her omnicomm; there was no getting through to Galilee.

She could stare at the stars, though. Take photographs, and notes. If she ever returned to the mercenaries, she would be writing up a very stiffly worded report about Places Not To Be Visited.

She saw a familiar blue light out of the corner of her eye, turned and waved at Wheatley. He had company - someone was carrying him around. She broadened her wave to include them both, smiling.

Re: Obs Deck

[notamoron]

"Oh, allo!" Wheatley called out when he saw her. He looked up at Chell. "C'mon, let's go visit! I'll introduce you, eh?"

[fattynoparents]

Chell didn't really like the Observation Deck because it just reminded her that in a stunning twist of fate's cruelty, both she and Wheatley were stranded in space (when really, only the latter was supposed to be stranded in space--it was not fair at all). But on their fabulous adventure through Stacy, it was only inevitable that they returned to the place, if only so Chell could see what it looked like when it wasn't full of a couple hundred bewildered people. Now it was just empty, the vast expanse of stars in front of them only serving to remind her of the futility of their situation.

Having only typed to Anwei over the comm system, she didn't recognize the company, and brushed Wheatley off to the fact that he was trying to introduce her to everyone. Chell was more interested in the sight of the planet in front of them, but she offered the other woman a nod and a tight-lipped smile anyway.

[8wings.livejournal.com]

Anwei smiled back; she used her human-sized smile, not the one that stretched literally from ear to ear. She'd learned how discomfiting that one was to most people.

"I'm glad to see you up and around, Wheatley." As opposed to being stuck on a shelf somewhere. "I don't suppose this is the 'chap' who was with you in space?"

For one thing, chap usually meant a male, she was fairly certain.

[notamoron]

"Aw, thank you! That's so thoughtful!" he replied. Finally, someone other than his bestest friend in the whole world Chell who cared about ol' Wheatley! "Oh, no, this is my good friend Chell," he explained. "The chap I was in space with, well, I haven't seen him at all. Maybe you have? Looks just like me but with a yellow eye? Keeps talking about space and going to space?"

[lessafool.livejournal.com]

Aldrea (Esplin) was walking back from the run she'd had through Hydroponics, physically feeling refreshed, even as the nature of the passage made Aldrea's skin crawl. Feeling enclosed was anything but happy for Andalite psychology. One of the amusing realities for a species that had then taken to the stars and spent years trying to design space-worth craft that could remind them of home while they were so far away.

They'd succeeded, she knew, with the dome ships. Yet this ship hadn't been designed by the Andalites, nor had it been designed as a fighting vessel. A reworked prison ship was not immensely comforting, let alone when the Warden in charge of it hadn't been completely overwritten.

She didn't expect Chell and Wheatley, let alone know what to make of them. < Are you looking for Engineering? > Esplin asked, his voice -- her voice -- outright disbelieving.

Humans were so peculiar, and so weirdly balanced. Why did this one make it even more difficult for themselves?

[fattynoparents]

Chell was coping with the ponies. She could deal with them. She could deal with the fact that not everyone on this ship was entirely human. That was okay. It was weird, but okay. She would get used to it, just like she would get used to being stranded in space.

What was standing in front of her, however, was an alien. A true, honest-to-goodness, what-the-hell-is-that extraterrestrial. She could not help but stagger backwards, nearly dropping Wheatley as she was addressed inside her head.

If there was one thing she didn't like, it was disembodied voices. This, while not necessarily disembodied, was so unexpected that it very nearly drove her to panic. Staring wide-eyed at the strange creature, she clutched her robot companion tightly to her chest out of instinct--at the very least, he'd make a good shield.

[notamoron]

Wheatley, as a robot, could not hear the alien's telepathic voice. Indeed, he only became aware of her presence when Chell held him up in front of her. He reacted in the most calm, collected way imaginable.

"AAAAH! ALIEN! DON'T SUCK OUT MY BRAIN! ...OR HERS! IN FACT IF YOU COULD JUST LEAVE BOTH OUR BRAINS INTACT THAT WOULD JUST BE SUPER! OH AND DON'T PROBE US BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE JUST GROSS!"

[lessafool.livejournal.com]

Did they look like a Skrit-Na? No Andalite would have to resort to probing someone for, well, that kind of information. Aldrea stepped further to the side, main eyes watching the human and AI warily. < Would you inform your speaking AI friend that I'm not equipped to do anything to anyone's brain? >

Granted, she could in theory hack into both brains, but it'd be messy and earn her Punishment and that was just not on Esplin's "to do" list for the day. Or ever. Other people being Punished? Sure.

Just not him.

Aldrea's bladed tail came up, not held at ready so much as made obvious. The human looked more wary, not very threatening, and the AI was shouting.

... Not very threatening, if Aldrea was pointing out that Yeerks didn't suck out brains, just, you know, terribly evilly take them over. Finer distinctions in life.

[fattynoparents]

Somewhere in the midst of her panic, Chell knew that every person on Stacy was in the same boat, so to speak, and would gain little from trying to harm one another. Even if the sentient spaceship prevented unsavory murders of fellow crewmates, killing people was an unproductive use of time, and it was silly to expect such a thing. Right? The bladed tail, however, was not comfortable in the least.

Neither was the voice in her head. Telepathy? The creature didn't have a mouth, so maybe this was just how it spoke.

She tried to steady herself with deep breaths. Calm. She could be calm and collected and not offend fellow crew members right from the get-go.

Wheatley's screaming was not helping, and though Chell would not inform him of the request in such detail, she at least looked down at the core in her arms and brought a finger to her lips. A harsh, abrupt shhhhhh sound hissed from between her teeth, probably the closest to a 'shut up, Wheatley' she'd ever get.

[fabricaketions.livejournal.com]

One of the sensorium chambers was open, which wasn't unusual. No one was inside, which also wasn't unusual. However, this one actually seemed to be in use.

With no one in it.

Unusual.

The chamber was not set to be anything very special, just a grassy meadow. Gold sunlight bathed waving stalks of grass, hard light trees rustled softly in an artificial breeze, and a butterfly drifted past. It was tranquil, perhaps even idyllic.

And at the center of this was a tree stump, and on it there was a platter. On that platter was the most delicious cake in the entirety of existence. You could just tell from looking at it that it was moist, chocolatey, delicious, and fresh.

How very odd.

[fattynoparents]

Since finding Jayne in the Sensoriums, Chell decided she was going to return to that field as soon as possible. It seemed easy enough--just think about what you wanted to see, and there it was! Amazing. Sure, there was the problem of not remembering many places outside of Aperture, but the sun and sky and expanse of grass was easy enough to

So she returned to the room, Wheatley in tow, and was surprised to find that the room was not only in use, but it was strikingly similar to how she'd found it when Jayne was there.

It did not take her long, however, to find the crucial difference. That was definitely a cake, over there, and the sight of it instantly set her on edge.

The cake was never, ever, ever legitimate. And with GLaDOS on board, this cake was almost certainly a lie. It was always a lie.

But it looked so good.

Chell often let her curiosity get the better of her. She knew it was a bad decision. The worst decision--this was obviously a trap. But maybe she could just...touch it. See if it was real.

Very, very slowly, she took a step into the field, and then another.

[notamoron]

Wheatley, on the other hand, was smart enough to know the one universal truth. If there was one thing all his experience and time at Aperture had taught him, it was this:

Cake is always, ALWAYS a trap.

"Chell, don't do it," he warned her. "You know the testing protocols, right? Didn't lose that memory in your long-term relaxation? I hope? Okay, I see you're just walking closer to the cake, I hope just to verify that it is in fact a trap, since cake always is a trap, and you would know that if you read the testing protocols."

[fattynoparents]

YES. SHE KNEW, OKAY. Chell could not recall reading testing protocols, but she imagined they had a lot to say about fakey-fake lying pastry that was a falsehood and also a lie. This was a trap and the instant she went for that cake she would be greeted with GLaDOS' disembodied voice and probably some fat jokes.

She'd admit to doing a lot of stupid things. Initiating the core transfer was one of them, but at least then there was the excuse of being completely misinformed. This, however, was just idiotic. It was stupid and she was being stupid and the Aperture Science Intelligence Dampening Sphere was telling her it was stupid, only affirming the fact that for her to even consider taking one more step towards the cake, she had achieved and surpassed Wheatley levels of stupidity.

This was a new low.

But she closed the distance anyway, because even if it was an obvious trap, falling for it would lure GLaDOS out from wherever she was hiding. Probably not her actual body, but perhaps Chell could gather some information just by listening to what her computer nemesis had to say (probably fat jokes).

The cake was close enough to touch. Yes, it was all in her head, but Chell decided that when GLaDOS invariably showed up and killed her, she could die happy, if only because there was cake and it felt real and she was touching it. Oh god she was touching the cake it was everything she'd ever dreamed.

[fabricaketions.livejournal.com]

||What do you think you're doing?||

GLaDOS was proud of her Chell trap. It had been simple. Perhaps she'd even put too much thought into it. Cake was an excellent motivator for test subjects, as was outside. (She would never quite understand that. What was so special about being outside, away from the science?)

So here she had Chell and that... that metal ball. Something was horribly familiar about that...