I need you to get back up. [open]

[dearest-nehaa.livejournal.com]

She really wished Stacy would have given her more of a warning, before filling her head full of memories she wasn't sure she was prepared for. She had to excuse herself from a council meeting, apologizing profusely in half-panicked signing.

Kinase was dead. She remembered that now. He wouldn't be waiting in the pods for her when this was all over, he wouldn't kiss her cheek or remind her that she was overreacting (even when she was sure she wasn't). She wouldn't hear his laugh, or roll her eyes when he wore some gaudy, bright-pink shirt, claiming to be the height of Draenic fashion. He had been an idiot who had, somehow, agreed to marry her - first as a joke, then seriously, as someone who loved her. It figured that a man who'd survived the Cataclysm of Azeroth, and the Exodus from Draenor would somehow be unable to survive the Ohm's rampant destruction of everything.

But now he was gone, and she remained. If she'd been able to, Nehaalista would've screamed her frustrations. Her hooves found her pointed to the sensoriums, and she conjured up the home on Azuremyst they'd built and then subsequently hid in when Vaals was born.

Vaals, her little, little Vaals. Vaals was safe. He had to be. He was little and sweet, and she refused to believe that his big eyes, soft hair, and even, gentle voice was taken from her, too. Nehaalista's hooves tore up the half-finished pathway to the house and she threw the door open. Her little boy played on a blanket before several lighting crystals, safe and sound thanks to the illusion of the sensoriums, and somewhere floating in a pile of mucus down in the pod caverns if she were lucky.

Nehaalista picked the little boy up, who protested slightly, and sank into Kinase's chair. She buried her face into Vaals' light-colored hair and breathed shallowly. Why couldn't anything have simple and clean resolutions?

Comments

[governorkang]

As concerned as Kang was by Nehaa's exit, he waited until the meeting was over before trying to track her down. It didn't take him long to find her in the Sensoriums, and he paused in the doorway of the house, taking in the scene with a look of utter confusion and worry.

"...Nehaa, what's going on? Who is that?"

[dearest-nehaa.livejournal.com]

Nehaalista didn't answer for a moment, looking at Kang from over the top of the tiny Draenei's head. Vaals was put back down on his blanket, and toddled towards his toys on wary little legs.

[Hello, Kang.] She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and didn't turn her eyes from the little boy who was now talking to the crystalline blocks like they were dear friends, [This is Vaals. Did you know I had a son? I didn't. Not until a few minutes ago. A husband, too.] The translation necklace made the sentence should more cheerful than it should have. Nehaalista wiped at her cheeks with the heel of her hand, and wondered if she looked as bewildered as she felt.

[governorkang]

Kang was silent for a moment, unsure of what to say as he watched the little boy play. He knew exactly what it felt like to miss a mate and children, and he couldn't even imagine how much harder it must be on Nehaa to have that knowledge just shoved on her in a matter of seconds. He hesitated only slightly before moving over and pulling her into a hug, "Don't give up hope that they're okay. Dont ever give up hope, no matter how hard it gets, how long you end up waiting."

[dearest-nehaa.livejournal.com]

She kept her face in Kang's shoulder, her shoulders jerking with silent sobs. Nehaalista shook her head as he tried to console her, pulling back and signing rapidly, almost too fast for the necklace to follow along in its cheerful tone.

[He has died. The Ohm killed him.] She tried very had to think about Kinase's face when he officially proposed (though he'd flubbed it), and not to think of that look of unimaginable pain when he'd been killed. Her heart felt like someone was squeezing it in their fist. [Vaals is all I have left; if he was even saved.]

[governorkang]

"...I'm sorry. I didn't... I didn't mean to make you feel worse," Kang said quietly. "But you still have hope for your son."

[nokosi.livejournal.com]

"Aww, are we playing 'house'?" The elf asked from behind them, his eyes and the top of his head the only visible things at the back of the chair. "Can I play the role of the overbearing grandfather-figure who complains about anything and everything? Or the family pet? I suppose I could be resigned to that."

[dearest-nehaa.livejournal.com]

Nehaalista jumped slightly, interrupted from her reordering as she held onto Vaals. Certain he hadn't seen her overall gloomy cast, Nehaalista quickly wiped up any traces of wetness on her face and turned to face him.

[No,] she started to sign. [There was just... I just learned...] Why didn't he realize? He'd attended her wedding, visited when she was too round to do anything but sit in a chair and read.

[Kinase died.]

[nokosi.livejournal.com]

"Kinase?" He repeated, tilting his head in thought.

Kinase...Kinase...Oh! That was her friend, right? The flamboyant one. And she was just now getting around to lament about it?

"I assumed everyone died when Azeroth was destroyed. This should not be news to you unless he was in the pods and then died. Is that what occured?," the elf questioned, eyes straying to the young boy firmly seated in Nehaalista's lap.

[dearest-nehaa.livejournal.com]

Nehaalista didn't immediately answer, picking up Vaals and walking down a hallway, presumably to put the little, drowsy youngling to sleep. When she came back, she signed slowly.

[He shouldn't have died. But he did. I think I'm allowed to mourn the one I was married to, Nokosi, don't you?] She didn't sign with her usual irritation when she thought he'd asked something silly, and she paused to wipe at her eyes. [And Vaals - I don't even know if Vaals is down there now.]

[nokosi.livejournal.com]

He simply stared at her blankly. There was obviously something she knew that he didn't. Either that or her extended stay on the ship had clearly loosened a few a few screws. Even that didn't make much sense, as well adjusted as she always was.

Nokosi looked down the hallway where she had disappeared to previously. And there was still the child to take in consideration.

"When did you get married?" He asked, finally speaking up. The fact that she'd somehow wed after complaining about not wanting to marry and didn't bother even mentioning it to him once, served to put him off. Just a little bit.

[bonnypiperlad]

Jamie feels like his old self again, which is a relief. However, now that he's no longer a kid again, he's finding it's harder to get back into the swing of doing things than he thought, like training. So when he finds himself free for the afternoon, he figures now is as good a time as any to get some training in.

His luck with finding an unoccupied spot in the Sensoriums is as good as ever, however, as he wanders in and realizes it's once again occupied. Spotting the Vindicator, he smiles for a moment. He's not seen her in some time, and a glad-sounding "Nehaalista!" escapes his lips before what she's actually doing sinks in.

"Oh, I'd not realized ye were busy," he says, apologetically. He's about to go, but something about her posture stops him, and he gives her a rather concerned look. "Are ye all right?"

[dearest-nehaa.livejournal.com]

Vaals squirmed out of his mother's grasp as she was surprised by Jamie. Unused to humans, the little draenei boy scuttled away from the living room, watching Jamie with wide, bright eyes. Nehaalista turned and straightened up in the admittedly large chair. She turned her head back once, to make sure there were no tell-tale traces of wet on her cheeks and looked back at him.

[Hello, Jamie, I'm...] she hesitated, for just a moment, [just fine. Just reliving some memories, I guess. How are you?]

[bonnypiperlad]

"Better than I was," he admits, although he's flicking a glance back and forth between Nehaalista and where the little draenei boy has run off to.

"I'm sorry, I'd not meant to startle him." Jamie hopes it's a him, anyway. He isn't sure what the different between a little girl and a little boy would be for Nehaalista's race. "Is he someone from your world?"

[dearest-nehaa.livejournal.com]

[That's alright; Kinase and I don't know many humans, so they're something new to our child.] They really should've remedied that, she knows now, but they didn't.

Maybe if Azeroth was restored, she would.

[bonnypiperlad]

"Kinase?" Must be her husband, Jamie thinks, given the 'our child' statement. Which, come to think about it, also explains who the lad is as well.

"I'd not realized ye were married, Nehasslista," he comments, not really thinking much of that statment until he happens to remember the half-finished pathway to the house, and the fact that she only thought of her and her son here. Not to mention that bowed head when he came in...maybe he's wrong, but there could be more to it than he previously realized.

"Did...did something happen to him?"

[fireforger]

Daja had been on a walk through Stacy's halls, when she caught a glimpse of Nehaa as she made her way through to the sensoriums. Daja paused, feeling distinctly unsettled. She hoped otherwise, but Daja feared that something might be wrong.

Quietly, she followed Nehaa into the sensoriums, stopping just in the doorway. The scene felt...private. Filled with illusiary people that she couldn't recall Nehaa ever telling her about. It was a scene that Daja didn't want to intrude upon if she were unwanted.

"Nehaalista?" she asked, softly. If Nehaa wanted her to, she would leave - but if she needed a friend, then she would stay. "Is everything alright?"

[dearest-nehaa.livejournal.com]

Nehaalista adjusted Vaals in her arms. If she'd been able to speak, maybe she'd been doing something maternal - humming a lullaby, or whathaveyou - but the boy had gone to sleep anyway. She shook her head at Daja's question, and turned to look at her friend.

[Not exactly.] She pushed a loose lock of hair behind her ear and smiled weakly.

[fireforger]

"What happened?" Daja said softly, taking a step into the room. "Do you want to talk about it?"

[dearest-nehaa.livejournal.com]

[I am... coming to terms with the fact I was given more memories thanks to Stacy.] Nehaalista looked down at Vaals sleeping face. [And I do not know how to... process it, yet.]

[I guess it was for my own good, though. Who wants to find out their spouse was killed, with almost no hope of revival? I don't even know if this little youngling is even down in the pods, but I have to hope he is, or I... I don't know.] Nehaalista's shoulders drooped.

[fireforger]

"Oh, Nehaa," Daja said, moving to sit in a chair next to her. "I'm so sorry. You had a family? This...this is your son?"

She looked down at the small child. It hard hurt her enough, not having her siblings with her. And she at least knew they were safe. She'd seen Sandry, even if only for a small time.

How much more painful would it be, if she didn't know?

[sonofether.livejournal.com]

He really should pay better attention to what he was doing and where he was going.

Stephen usually did some of his more volatile experiments in theory in the Sensoriums. But he hadn't paid attention, and clearly this one was in use. Almost familiarly as well--he'd seen Draenei structures before, when Nehaa had shown him her homeworld, once.

Had it been that long ago? It seemed like it.

Awkwardly, Stephen sent a wave towards the house--he could see the Draenei and someone else--Faram, maybe?--from where he was, but he wasn't sure if he ought to interrupt. Still, he called out.

"Sorry to bother you, Nehaa. I'll find myself another place to experiment!"

[dearest-nehaa.livejournal.com]

At first, Vaals' resemblance to Faram was fairly obvious, except one little draenei was darker, and Vaals was a bit lighter, and younger. Nehaalista shook her head and signed quickly with one hand.

[It's fine, I could... I could use a familiar face.]

[sonofether.livejournal.com]

Stephen paused, brows arching above the goggles as Nehaa signed at him. He shoved his data recorder in the pocket of his lab coat, and paused at the door to the house.

[Are you all right? You don't look all right...] And on second glance, Stephen realized his mistake and that the child was definitely not Nehaa's brother.

[And...could you introduce me, maybe?] He offered a smile to the little Draenei, but for the moment, he was staying right by the door.

[dearest-nehaa.livejournal.com]

[I... I guess I'm not, no.] Vaals watched the conversation between his mother and the newcomer with his wide, brilliant eyes.

He stayed near his mother and stared.

[This is Vaals, my son.]

[sonofether.livejournal.com]

"Hello, Vaals. It is a pleasure to meet you. I'm Stephen Valkonan, a human. I like to consider myself a friend of your mother's," he said. He wasn't about to move closer, but lowering himself to get closer to the child's level anyway?

Stephen had had much younger sisters, after all!

[I'm willing to listen, if you need to talk about it, Nehaa.]