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Percival Phoenix and the Strangers from Afar
From the surface of a small planet, uninhabited by any sentient life and given only a cursory name by a single deep space exploration team before they moved on to chart bigger, more study-worthy phenomena, a signal pulsed forth at intervals. Like the heart of a hibernating animal, it was faint, slow, and unheard. For many years, it waited.
Until one day, by chance, a large ship, itself possessed with a kind of strange, alien life, found itself within range of that heartbeat.
Saturnus IV was a planet that supported life, though none of the sentient variety; animals roamed its forests, plants grew lush and green. But the area that the signal had emanated from was in the middle of one of its largest strips of barren land -- a place where little grew but scrubby alien brush, and little moved but small, unimposing invertebrates.
It was this vast expanse of rock and sandy soil that the away team would be sent to investigate.
[If the current thread consists of more than 3 or 4 people, don't sweat the order too much and just post as it makes sense. Feel free to make up details about the holosimulation setting, like... idk, lizards or alien skeletons.]
Until one day, by chance, a large ship, itself possessed with a kind of strange, alien life, found itself within range of that heartbeat.
Saturnus IV was a planet that supported life, though none of the sentient variety; animals roamed its forests, plants grew lush and green. But the area that the signal had emanated from was in the middle of one of its largest strips of barren land -- a place where little grew but scrubby alien brush, and little moved but small, unimposing invertebrates.
It was this vast expanse of rock and sandy soil that the away team would be sent to investigate.
[If the current thread consists of more than 3 or 4 people, don't sweat the order too much and just post as it makes sense. Feel free to make up details about the holosimulation setting, like... idk, lizards or alien skeletons.]
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". . .I take that back. Definitely the weirdest."
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Which is kind of what life seems like right now. Pokemon? Evil mad scientist? And who is this, bizarro Freakazoid? And he thought gladiator dinosaur glitter rings were crazy.
"You know what? This is so stupid someone planned it. There is no possible way that random acts of misfortune can lead to this much stupid. And who's this goon?" He jerks a thumb as Percival Phoenix. "I mean, besides the obvious hero of this story."
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It launched all the best arguments, and it barely had to try. "Percival!" She was radiant, lit by a soft glow that seriously was out of place and lasted all of the second it took to say his name. "Sweetheart, light of my life, kicker of many no-good, dastardly bottoms, that was last week!"
There were tears in her eyes, and she started to move. She thought better of it when she near rolled her ankle and hopped sideways onto the one good heel with a yelp, wiping at her eyes. "I left when you didn't call because I was worried, you lug! Then I got lost, and it was getting dark, and it was frightening, Percival, absolutely frightening! All sorts of terrible creatures came out, and then I fell! Down a cliff! I don't know what I would have done if that ledge hadn't been right there..."
Well, logically, she'd have fallen to the bottom, but she was on a roll. "And then these people found me and they got me down, but they're not you and you know how I feel about being rescued by strangers!"
Her hands were on her hips at that point, and then she was pointing at Percival as she hit the most important part of her rant. "And then she made you miss your cue! I'll never forgive her for that! Or for her needlessly Freudian plans to take over the world!"
Which is when she remembered a certain doctor of Deathtruction was still there, so she whirled around, pointed at her, and then -- screamed.
"Kyah! You'll never get away with it, Dr. Lady Deathtruction NEUTRO™! Not now that my Percy is here to stop you!"
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He paused, waving and beaming around at those assembled, as if listening to invisible applause. Suddenly, he remembered he was supposed to be talking to Daisy. What had she been saying? Well, to be honest, their relationship often consisted of making heartfelt speeches to each other that sometimes had very little to do with what either of them had been talking about beforehand! For instance, sometimes he would be aboard the spaceship and talking about JUSTICE, and then she would start talking about LOVE, and then he would tell her to stay on the SPACESHIP, and then he would wander off and talk to other people about TRUTH, and then he would sometimes forget what week it was.
"IN ANY CASE," he boomed in his ever-so-commanding voice, "I'm here to rescue you once more, Daisy! Now, Dr. Lady Deathtruction NEUTRO™! Come down off that HOVER-PLATFORM, and we will fight FACE-TO-FACE!"
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He pulls the hammer off his shoulder, paying no attention to Percival and the pointless exchange. If there is action heroing to be done, he'll be happy to show the ponce how its done.
"Ok then... dibs on the chick in the sparkly bondage outfit."
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"Do you really think that any of you are worthy to fight Dr. Lady Deathtruction NEUTRO™?! You are not even worthy to polish her hover-platform! It is I who will crush you, and anyone else who happens to be in the general vicinity and not be worth kidnapping back to Dr. Lady Deathtruction NEUTRO™'s mountain lair!"
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He paused for a long moment.
"NO MATTER!" he bellowed, hoping no one would notice the ever-so-slight slip of his mechanical tongue. "Do you rabble enjoy sport? Then let's see how well you can RIDE THE LIGHTNING!!"
With that, he thrust his gloved hands forward as bright blue bolts of lightning shot from his fingertips towards the assembled rescue team and also PERCIVAL PHOENIX!
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Standing around and gaping always comes second place to ducking for cover. Unfortunately there isn't much to hide behind, so that leaves Howard with dashing behind Chase for protection.
"Jesus, Zou!" Or Neon or Neo or Nunu or whatever the hell his name is now. Clearly someone got hit on the head with the crazy stick. Brainwashing? Must be. But undoubtedly the device or system perpetrating it isn't in this desert wasteland, or it's been turned off, as it hasn't affected the rescue team yet. Either way, that mountain lair sounds like the right direction to head in.
Howard hates that the mountain lair seems like the right direction to head in.
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"Now now now! If I was you, PerciTWIT, I would lower my weapons and let us go. Do it, or your lovely little flower is going to wilt and die, becoming nothing more than cheap fertilizer for this very ground. It doesn't matter if you or these three fools come to my DEATH FORTRESS. Death only awaits them!" It was themed with DEATH after all. "They will never find it's clever, hidden location! Soon, I will mount the Death Ray to my flying fortress capable of leveling entire cities in its wake! A floating factory for my weapons of mass destruction and robotic armies!! The one, the only..."
She paused her for the world's most dramatic effect. In the back, what looked like a cheaply constructed large moon with a clearly visible rope was slowly descending into the sky.
"THE DEATH ASTEROID™!"
Besides the large moon, there was more heavy cranking sounds to be heard as another object was lowered; a sign with The Death Asteroid and an arrow pointing to it. There were neon lights and everything!
"Ha ha ha haaaa! My plans are perfect! There is no way you can succeed in defeating me! Adios, little blue birdy."
With that, Dr. Lady Deathtruction NEUTRO™ blasted off at the speed of light...right to where her top secret base was hidden, the smoke tracks clearly still very visible.
THE DEATH ASTEROID™ and the sign cracked and fell nearby as she slammed into them.
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He let his arms fall to his sides, slumping his shoulders dramatically for a moment. Then, just as suddenly, he seemed to snap himself out of his despair. "Wait for me, my sweet! No fortress is too guarded, no plans too perfect, no laser too deathly to stop PERCIVAL PHOENIX!"
With that, he pressed a button on his watch, disappearing in another brilliant flash of light.
Leaving the rescue team to deal with the aftermath.
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With a thundercrack and another eye-searing bolt of lightning, he vanished.
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"And I couldn't possibly leave Dr. Lady Deathtruction NEUTRO™ with only that fool Nuon to attend on her. Stay here, and die. Or flee - and die faster. Or seek her out - and die even, even faster!"
She hissed through her smile, a deadly hiss that froze the heart. Her outlines shimmered, fading, slipping away like wisps of snakeskin cast on the breeze. And she was gone.