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You drive a hard bargain [Closed]
With Howard's slightly unconventional means of information-gathering, the mission was now set to move forward. They knew where the artifact was and who could give them access to it. Now all there was left to do was bargain for it. And try not to lose the shirts off their backs while doing so.
[Go ahead and paste your intro text into the headings when you're ready]
[Go ahead and paste your intro text into the headings when you're ready]
COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
Anwei moved through the crowd, and it opened in front of her. But it wasn't her presence doing that (she was barely tall enough to be seen, even with the hat); it was the black-haired figure at her back, demure in satin and lace. Word had obviously spread of Zouichi's...reputation, because the onlookers kept giving him little flirtatious glances from behind raised metallic fans. Howard was walking at her other side (and a little behind); she hoped he was looking for the pavilion belonging to the Glimmering Prosperity clan.
There was a huge metal-and-mirror tethering rack nearby, with a string of pterosaurs (or something like them) tied to it: massive winged dinosaurs, wearing elaborately beaded saddles. They looked at her with sad eyes, and she slipped one of them a hard candy from the box in her sleeve. It slurped it up with apparent ecstasy and rubbed its muzzled bill on her eagerly.
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
Someone's riding dinosaur looks at him hungrily and starts sniffing him as he passes, and he sidles in a little closer to Zouichi and Anwei. "Does nobody feed these things?"
After a few moments he catches a familiar face in the crowd. "Over there. That's the guy I talked to, so their pavilion must be nearby." He gestures with his head, as he's used to, and regrets it as the fez nearly topples off.
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
It was important to play the role, while still projecting an air of modesty and restraint. After all, it would not do to outshine his mistress.
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She followed the motion of Howard's head and changed her path, walking in the long confident strides of someone who expects her every whim to be obeyed. She looked up at the man and smiled - just a little too wide.
"Have I the pleasure of addressing a representative of the Glimmering Prosperity clan?" she asked.
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
He motions to lead her to a brightly-colored tent with every inch of fabric covered in gaudy embroidery. Inside, the Countess of Feminine Roundness leans closer to her sister, the Demicountess, and makes a cooing sound at the sight of Zouichi. The servants are clearly trying to suppress girlish giggles; apparently, no one ordered them to refrain from making eyes at him, as the fluttering of their fake eyelashes looks like a line of bedazzled butterflies taking flight.
"I see you've returned with your...delectable offerings."
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
Actually she thought they would both benefit from a good scrubbing and a slow roasting, but she didn't say that of course.
There was an elaborately padded stool/chair set out for visitors; good, she would be able to get her bustle out from under her as she sat. Smaller stools were set out for her servants, and she made a point of nudging one a little closer to her, and indicating that Zouichi should sit there. Howard could sit a little further back, half-hidden by her frills - and able to slip out of the tent unseen, if necessary.
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
He stays silent as he observes them all.
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
His glance, when he does manage to look up briefly, towards the direction of the Countess and her entourage, says it all. If only he were free to devote his heart to another...! But alas, it is not to be. He serves at the whim of his Lady Anwei, and he must see to her needs before all else.
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
She gestures to the five women around her, all wearing an identical expression of disdain mixed with apathy. One of the Maidens speaks up. "We hear you've some interest in the Orb. You must know that even if we did have it..."
It's obvious from her tone that she isn't even trying to fool them.
"...we'd be forced to ask an incredibly commanding price. Or have some luxury, however fleeting, that can't be replicated." She glances meaningfully at Zouichi.
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
She stared at the Maiden with wide guileless eyes, apparently hypnotized by her beauty. "Simply to know that the Orb is in a setting that befits it - this magnificent planet - sets my heart at ease." She sighed, and again her hand crept to her chest.
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
"Forgive me for my impudence, but you seem ill at ease. If there is anything I can do to ease your discomfort, please, allow me to do so."
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
The Countess clears her throat. "But as for the Orb, if you have no interest...perhaps there is only spectacle in this meeting."
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
She sat a little straighter, and looked at the Countess and her fellow clan members. "My species is not long-lived, you see; and the endless pressure to sample all the delights that the universe has to offer can be a terrible burden. Often I have dreamed of finding a resting place, somewhere tasteful and refined where I could spend out the rest of my days in peace, surrounded by objects of beauty." Another glance at Zouichi. "Of course, if I ever did find such a place, I would have to make certain that I would still be able to manufacture the delicacies I am used to."
A sweet bait, to be certain: what could be better than two hundred gallons of slop, except a slop factory?
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
Nice move, Anwei.
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
"Well, of course Epicurea would be the place, and the district our clan rules over is the finest in Rotunda. There are, of course, certain..." she motions with her hands, "blessings we could bestow upon the place, if, of course, it would be worth our time."
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
"Considering the superlative quality of your clan members, Countess, I have no doubt that your district is equally as remarkable." Perhaps they grew glitter-grass there in glitter-fields, and rhinestone cows mooed between the tinsel trees. "And your blessings would be a sign of the unity between your clan and myself. Surely it would be an arrangement that would lead to immense mutual satisfaction."
Re: COMMENCEMENT OF NEGOTIATIONS
This goes on for many, many hours of the morning.
INSERT COPIOUS COMPLAINING HERE
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He thinks if he rolls his eyes any more, they're going to dislocate and go spinning back into his skull. While Anwei goes through all the motions, he's been trying to observe all the subtle cues the negotiators are giving off. It seems like the deal's going to go through, and once Howard deduced that, the entire thing became incredibly tedious. Also, two of the negotiators are having affair with each other, and one of them is insecure about their job and might lose it. And apparently, you don't get fired here but thrown to the dinosaurs. Howard was taking coded notes on their body language but that's quickly devolved into doodles of the dinosaurs.
Finally, they get a minute alone as the night is called. Howard smacks his forehead against the table, sending a small puff of glitter up into the air. "Oh my God, just kill me now. Stacy should have added that everyone speaks in monotone and takes forever to get to a point in the mission dossier."
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"I'm sorry that this mission is boring you so much, Howard. Next time, you can be the one wearing the skirt, and I'll be the one who gets to sit down and do my best to ruin all the negotiations by being blatantly disrespectful to the parties involved."
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"Howard, I've attended meetings that would make this one look like a wild party. If it were possible I'd happily trade places with you. This hat is adjustable, you know; it would look charming on you. But they're close, I think; very closer to making a deal. I hope we can wrap this up within the next four hours and get back to the shuttle."
She appreciated that Zouichi was actually dropping out of character now that they were alone. "Let's hope that the disrespect will be seen instead as charming alien eccentricities."
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"Secondly, honestly, I wish you weren't wearing that skirt so you could stop whining about it. I'd wear it, but even these morons aren't dumb enough to think I'm a bodyguard. The setting chose it, not me."
"Thirdly," he says, and for this he gestures dramatically with his hands. "Four freaking hours? Seriously? How many more ways can they come up with to beat around the bush?"
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She considered Howard in the skirt. "No, that many frills wouldn't do you any favors. Perhaps when we get back on the ship I could ask Reinforce Zwei to make you something custom-tailored for the next mission. How about tight, sleek wet-look satin, with lots of peepholes?"
"It's a part of the price of the Orb. If they said 'Fair price, here it is' wouldn't you think they were letting it go a little easily? And four hours is close to our limit," she frowned.
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"If you hate it so much, how about thinking of some way to speed up the process? No bargaining strategies to share?"
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"How about we don't?" Not that he'd have a huge problem wearing that outfit, he just doesn't want to let Anwei get under his skin. Zouichi's already done well enough at that this trip.
"Yeah, I have a bargaining strategy here: we steal it. It's, I swear to God, somewhere in the Countess' ridiculous get-up. And we might not have four hours to sit around and talk about how awesome she is before we run out of time. So we should steal it, run like hell and take off ASAP."
Re: INSERT COPIOUS COMPLAINING HERE
Anwei fished her candy box out of her sleeve and started passing it quickly back and forth between her hands, then experimented with hiding it amongst the furbelows of her bustle. "No," she decided. "She wouldn't be carrying it loose in her pocket, and these dresses have enough padding that she wouldn't have room for whatever ceremonial container she has it in. It's probably with one of the Advisors.
"And Stacy didn't tell us to steal it, she said to negotiate for it. If she wanted it stolen she wouldn't have sent us, she'd have sent a magician or someone who can fly. No, I think we have to keep going. Of course, I could try swooning..."
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"I think pretending to faint would only extend the negotiations."
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He chews on a fingernail, thinking about that. "The Advisor on the far right is positioned closest to the door in case she needs to make a quick exit, and her overcoat looks big enough to fit the Orb and its box. I'm betting if any of the Advisors have it, it's her. And honestly, if Stacy had wanted this done right, she'd have sent someone else."
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She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them. "But then we have to all get out, through the Dawn Festival, through the city and to the shuttle. One comcall and they'll have Security blocking us from it. No, we would either need a really spectacular distraction, or to somehow keep everyone here from raising the alarm. And I am not prepared to slaughter that silly woman and her entire retinue for an Orb of unknown value."
Of course if the Orb were really vital, she might have been willing to go with the slaughter.
"The shuttle autopilot is set up to take the ship straight back to Stacy - I might be able to land and do a pick-up in the city, but it's risky. The fuel was pretty tightly allocated."
Re: INSERT COPIOUS COMPLAINING HERE
He produced a black watch-like device from somewhere in the ruffles of his skirt, tossing it to Howard. "Catch."
Re: INSERT COPIOUS COMPLAINING HERE
He tries not to think about how casually Anwei brought slaughtering up into the discussion, even if she said she didn't want to do it. Um, no.
He catches the device deftly. "Communicator? Good plan. Okay, so if this ends up taking longer than we need it to, Anwei drops and Zou does a funny dance and we make off with the goods."
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"I think we'd better save fainting and stealing for a last chance scenario. Which means," she adjusted her hat, regretfully, because all she really wanted to do was trample it into glittery flinders, "negotiating some more."
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"I would also prefer to have this resolved without having to resort to making a run back to the shuttle," Zouichi said. "But let's keep in mind that we may have to... improvise."
He fell silent, getting back into the act as the Countess and her entourage began to file into the room. Once more into the breach.
NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
Re: NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
"Thank you so much for giving me time to recover," she cooed. "The pleasures of your company, of this planet, are exhilarating. I feel more and more that this may be my destined place in the universe."
Like hell, she thought to herself.
"Nothing could be more appropriate than that we exchange a token of our deep faith in each other; of our mutual love of Epicurea; of our total devotion to truth, beauty, freedom, love, and fine cuisine!" she smiled.
Re: NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
He thinks Anwei would make an excellent politician.
Re: NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
Zouichi had to admit that Anwei was putting up an excellent show for someone who'd already been at this for hours. And Howard had even refrained from sighing and (he hoped) rolling his eyes.
He gave the retinue a demure smile as Anwei began extolling the virtues of Epicurea. Though he was only a lowly servant, he, too, felt his heart could rest on this beatific planet!
Re: NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
"Unless, of course, you have some prior obligation that surpasses this one in importance," she adds, almost disdainfully. "You could, of course, unveil exactly what it is you wish to bestow upon us in exchange for our most generous blessing."
And suddenly...
Re: NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
Underneath they were dressed in cloth-of-gold, embroidered all over with little golden spheres. More little spheres dangled from their hems and hung in chains around their waists, but of more interest were the weapons in their hands: daggers with wavy-edged blades, short swords, a hammer crusted with what looked very much like blood, and a ball (golden of course) and chain mace. Light gleamed on the weapons, but shone even brighter in the mens' crazed eyes. They stood in menacing poses as the leader spoke.
"We are the Order of the Orb, the Guardians of the Golden Globe, and we have discovered your vile plan, Countess! The Orb of Enlightment will never leave the soil of Epicurea! Blaspemers! Kill them all, they are blasphemers!"
With a unified roar they sprung forward, weapons rising...
Re: NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
"Protect me!" she shrilled, back to the pavilion wall.
Re: NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
Nearly tripping over his seat as he shoots to his feet and then drops low, he realizes Anwei's probably his safest bet, not only because she's calling for protection but because he's sure she could use that mouth if she had to. He makes a quick, short sprint to her side, and then does a rather impressive home-run dive under her dress. Thankfully, she should have enough padding to retain her modesty, though she might find it harder to walk with a terrified teenager huddled between her ankles.
Re: NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
The fifth he takes down with a single punch to the face and a brief spurt of blood. And while the second attacker has taken the moment to get back on his feet, he's quickly put down again; Zouichi aims a spinning back heel kick straight to his chest, and wedge sandals or not, he's sent flying for a short distance before he puts himself through an exquisitely crafted glass table. It shatters upon impact, sending slivers of silvery material skidding across the floor. Zouichi's sudden movement is accompanied by the sight of delicate, flowing gossamer ruffles and a brief flash of thigh, but alas -- it is expertly calculated, and the onlookers were able to see no more.
Zouichi straightens, smoothing his white frilled apron. It's an unnecessary gesture; not a spot of blood has found its way onto his immaculate black-and-white maid's uniform, and not a single ruffle is out of place.
Apparently satisfied, he lowers his gaze once more, deferentially smiling back at the countess and Anwei both. "What an unfortunate interruption. I trust no one was hurt?"
Re: NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
"My, my," the Countess finally says, picking her way over the bodies and sitting down at her seat as if nothing has happened. "Well. I can see that you have a treasure we'd be remiss in ignoring. Surely, if you want the Orb, you would not be troubled by allowing us to present your servant in the ring? His talents are, apparently, many fold."
Re: NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
Instead of sitting, she clasped her hands together in front of her and thought furiously. Present in the ring...that sounded like some sort of show or exhibition. A dance performance, maybe? Or a fight? But that made no sense, where would they get more assassins to fight him? It's not like there was a supply of killers running around.
"His talents - and his person - are indeed a treasure to me of inestimable value. In a matter of such import, the keystone to such important negotiations should certainly be as priceless as the Orb itself."
What a relief. Zouichi does his presentation, they get the Orb, and they could all get into the shuttle and leave. Finally, it was almost over.
Re: NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
He furrows his brow at the mention of the presentation in the ring. What the hell can that mean? Cirque de Soleil for Zouichi? Acrobatics? A short fight? Still, if everything here is wrapped up, they can - thank God thank God - get home, and a few quickly-dispatched assassins and some temper tantrums will be the most of their excitement. He keeps his face impassive as he takes his seat again.
Re: NEGOTIATIONS: ROUND TWO - FIGHT!
He bowed in response to Anwei's words -- just a little more and this would be over.