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trans_92011-03-27 10:09 pm
jesushasayak.livejournal.com) wrote in trans_92011-03-27 10:09 pm
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Paper Cranes [open]
It was just for practice, and also something to distract himself and pass the time. It was almost meditative, after all.
Not that he was feeling as sad anymore. Life happened, there were hurts that were just part of it all. He was human so he could feel them and understand them, so he could know heartbreak just as well as love, calm just as well as anger, sadness just as well as happiness. He was human so he'd make choices he wasn't sure were right that he had to live with, so he could be hurt and wonder if it was right to feel that way.
Aang had come to accept that, so now he was just distracting himself. He'd managed to find paper--real paper--from Weapons and Possessions. It was rice paper, in a wide variety of colors, and he sitting against Appa in his Sensorium and folding it into a wide variety of animals.
Some were pretty good, depending on how long he'd actually bothered to practice doing that kind of animals. Others...well they were almost recognizably animals.
"What do you think, Appa? What does it look like to you?"
Appa grunted a long groaning sound, and Aang scratched his head.
"Actually, it's supposed to be a bison like you, not a boarcupine. But I guess it's a boarcupine now!"
He smiled and placed it down with the others and picked up his birds (most of them cranes) and started making them dance in the air over his head, which was the real point of all this. Airbending practice. Fine control was something he could always use work on and making the little paper birds fly overheard was fun.
Not that he was feeling as sad anymore. Life happened, there were hurts that were just part of it all. He was human so he could feel them and understand them, so he could know heartbreak just as well as love, calm just as well as anger, sadness just as well as happiness. He was human so he'd make choices he wasn't sure were right that he had to live with, so he could be hurt and wonder if it was right to feel that way.
Aang had come to accept that, so now he was just distracting himself. He'd managed to find paper--real paper--from Weapons and Possessions. It was rice paper, in a wide variety of colors, and he sitting against Appa in his Sensorium and folding it into a wide variety of animals.
Some were pretty good, depending on how long he'd actually bothered to practice doing that kind of animals. Others...well they were almost recognizably animals.
"What do you think, Appa? What does it look like to you?"
Appa grunted a long groaning sound, and Aang scratched his head.
"Actually, it's supposed to be a bison like you, not a boarcupine. But I guess it's a boarcupine now!"
He smiled and placed it down with the others and picked up his birds (most of them cranes) and started making them dance in the air over his head, which was the real point of all this. Airbending practice. Fine control was something he could always use work on and making the little paper birds fly overheard was fun.
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A pause. "I mean, I needed to know right then, and for some reason she couldn't just tell me herself. It would've been worse if it'd been drawn out."
He bit his lower lip a little, still focusing on his birds.
"He wasn't the one who hurt me."
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"...I know that story."
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He didn't really know if it was his right to butt in here, but he did know this was the truth.
"Zuko never stopped caring for you. He never really wanted to be away from home. He knew his father had terrible things planned for the world, and they turned out to be worse than anything we even imagined. A world half-burned away, with the spirits angered and the survivors hating the Fire Nation--that was a world he didn't want someone he loved to be forced to live in."
He went on quickly, "I know it must have felt bad at the time, though. It must have hurt. But I also know he wanted to make sure his nation didn't destroy itself, to protect the people he loved in it. He didn't choose between you and us--he chose to go fight for a better world for you with us, hoping he'd be able to come back to you."
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She glanced away, gaze locked on the horizon. "I know that he just wanted to make the world better, that he just wanted to save his people and to protect everything - but, the truth is?"
She glanced back at Aang, "I don't care about any of that. I care about him. The whole world could've been burned and I would've been fine with it as long as Zuko was OK."
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His face fell a little at that, at the fact that he felt that way about Katara and yet...
Little paper birds fluttered to the ground.
He wasn't going to cry again, nope, wasn't going to cry again.
But man, did he want to.
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"It'll get better."
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Sorry, Mai, you're the first one that's even nudged near this topic.
"I told her I loved her, I spent time with her, I gave her presents, I fought for her against the Nightmare King, and she seemed to feel the same way back. But then..."
He was confused.
"Is that some kind of...girl...thing, moving on so soon if someone isn't there? That's not usually how it works, right?"
Please set the clueless monk boy straight.
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She paused, arms folded as she thought. "...I don't know. Sometimes people change."
Like Azula. Sort of.
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"Guess it's just back to complete celibacy again."
Without much excitement, he pumped a fist in front of himself and said flatly, "Yaay celibacy."
Not that he'd ever done anything to break celibacy, but now he wouldn't be doing anything romantic, as far as he was concerned.
That didn't mean he liked it, though. It was just how it was.
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Then, as if Sokka was RIGHT THERE WATCHING, he quickly said, "Not that it was ever about that anyway."
And it wasn't.
"I mean the romantic kind of celibacy. I'm still a monk. I don't really feel the need to find anyone else."
He really didn't.
"She was just that special to me that I wanted to be with her instead of obtaining cosmic one-ness with the universe--not that I can anyway, because I'm the Avatar, but even before I knew that, I still chose her over that."
Aang thudded back against Appa.
"I'm sorry for talking about this. You still barely know me and I'm whining."
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Mostly her parents, but almost everyone else who talked to her counted in her mind.
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There was a grateful look at her.
"Thank you, though. I know it must be maybe a little strange to talk to me after everything that happened, so I appreciate it." Especially given she was trying to talk to him about his recent little heartbreak.
Making the little birds all dip into dives. "Sometimes, I still almost keep expecting that anyone from the Fire Nation other than Zuko and a few others will be mad at me--especially since so many still were--and with Zuko running away to help our group, you had a really good personal reason to be upset."
He still hadn't had much of a chance to talk to Mai, even remembering what he remembered of the end of the war now.
Mostly, he just knew he was a polarizing figure. Having someone reach out and talk to him as a person when they'd been taught he was their nation's enemy was something he appreciated.
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She is not going to say happy. Ugh. That'd just be sappy. She shrugged and looked down at him.
"But just because I don't hate you doesn't mean I agree with what you did. Anyway, it's like any of those politics really matter anymore."
The whole world being destroyed sorta puts damper on them.
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"They really don't. Not in the face of all this," Aang said. "My past lives and I have agreed that my purpose as Avatar's changed. Now I have to help bring balance back to the universe by stopping the Ohm, and try to help bring our world back."
A small smile. "I'm sure that's something we can agree needs to be done, right?"
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She sounded so enthusiastic about it.
"Just promise me one thing, Aang." She turned her gaze on him, sharp and grim this time. Not the usual boredom and blank disinterest, but concern and maybe some anger. Definitely determination.
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"Don't let Zuko die for you. Because if he thinks he needs to, he's going to take stupid risks to make sure you live through whatever situation we end up in. He's an idiot like that sometimes."
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He meant it.
"It's my job to protect all of you, not the other way around."
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"Thanks. That means a lot to me."
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"So, what happens when we win?"
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