trans_9 | [open!] warning: insensitive bastard. come annoy him

The best way to describe Kai's state of mind right now was stir-crazy. Even on a ship as mind-bendingly huge as Stacy was, Kai knew there was only so much space. He knew there was only so far he could go in one direction. He knew there was no going back, and there was no one he knew in this place.

Kai had accepted that there was nothing he could do at the moment but wait.

That didn't mean he had to like it.

Kai needed a distraction. He needed some way to get his blood pounding, something to get his mind off where he was and just how little he could do. He'd tried to find that soul-thing he'd overheard people talking about, but of course this was how his luck would run: the one man on the ship looking for the darksoul wouldn't find it.

That was why he was wandering around now, shoulders hunched, head down. Anyone who looked strong enough to take him on would have a fight picked with them, whether they wanted to fight or not. Anyone else unfortunate enough to cross his path? They'd be dealing with a very terse, very irritated man with metal under his skin.

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"I don't want them to be dead."

I don't want to leave things the way they were.

Why was it that you only figured out what you had when it was taken from you?

"I can't do it," he said, and as he spoke the words, Kai realized they were true. "I can't assume they're dead and gone for good yet, not if there's a chance they aren't. But at the same time, knowing they might and that I might find out one day that this whole time there was no chance at all..."

He was leaning forward now, resting his head on his hands, elbows propped on his knees.

"I hate it."

She resisted the temptation to give a complete stranger a friendly pat on the back, which is weird, but happens when you sympathize.

Her eyes closed, she stretched her arms above her head, not saying anything for a moment or two. "Well... you can just give up and waste away, I guess." Not really an option, but it's not like they really had many other options. "I'm not much of a leader if I just... give up now, even if it's... probably hopeless."

"Who said anything about giving up?"

He turned his head to look at her sideways, though he stayed hunched over.

"I sure as hell don't plan to waste away. I'm going to watch, and wait, and see if there's any chance of bringing them back. Or finding them in the pods. But there's no way anyone's going to get me to give up on it."

That got... well, not a grin, but it wasn't a bad expression either. Certainly better than whatever Cagalli had had. "Gotta keep hoping that all of that's true, huh? Hell... with the kinds of things I've seen, rebuilding an entire universe doesn't seem as unlikely as it could. For all we know there are other ships like Stacy, with the people we know, or... even entire planet's of people..."

"It's not really hope," he said, turning from her to stare forward, at the pod-wall opposite the squishy bench. "It's more like...if it turns out there was a chance I could have done something, and I didn't because I'd given up, I'd never forgive myself. So maybe...it's keeping myself from regretting anything."

Man. Talking to her had really helped get his thoughts in order. Though Kai was still pretty pissed at the situation on the whole, he had a better idea of how he felt about things, and what he wanted to do.

He glanced over sideways at her again. "Name's Kai."

She nodded. "Right... right, I think I get where you're coming from..." and a better idea of where she is too, if only a little. It was hard to make much sense of how you felt about such an alien situation, so hearing it from someone else, and ranting herself was a good thing. "You don't wanna screw up, and have... have whoever come along and tell you that you coulda saved everyone."

Cagalli reached a hand out to him for a handshake. "Cagalli Yula Atha."

[open!] warning: insensitive bastard. come annoy him

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