Pieces

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It was barely living right now, and for Katara, that was never a choice she made willingly. That had alwasy been something that was thrust upon her, and in this case it was reliving Sokka being taken away again, only now it was like old wounds were reopening and new ones were appearing.

The moment she felt Renne leave it had been like a part of her had been ripped. She'd stayed in the Outsiders hotel, locked up her door and cried the whole day. She couldn't be around people then: it would have been too heart wrenching, even attempting to act as if things would get better, and she would have just burst into tears. More and more, family just seemed to be taken away from her. She didn't even have the heart to get angry, blame Stacy, rage like she had when Sokka was taken. It hurt too much, it felt like it happened too soon.

And the day after that she'd left the hotel to wander. That was all she was doing now, just sort of walking, not taking in anything anymore. Life on the ship seemed like it was a curse, and far as Katara could tell, acting like it wasn't would only make her break. So she just walked, her eyes bloodshot and her hair a mess. Her face was unreadable: it was somewhere between completely uncaring and defeated.

There was nothing to smile about, nothing to put on an act for. Family was gone, extended family was gone...was she just grasping for small, barely fulfilling pieces of happiness, until that was finallly taken away?

What then?

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Katara KNEW this, knew that this was exactly the sort of thing she should be saying to herself, but it had been hard to think that with one of her Bonded being taken from her. All of the people that had been taken from her had been a slow progression to make her start to despair. But he was right.

She didn't know what he was talking about with that lone power stuff though. But she DID know that, despite all of this, she would eventually get over this.

But right now?

"I won't give in...it isn't as if I could anyway. People depend on me. But I don't feel like believing that right now, not when this happens again, to someone I care about. It just really hurts."

[seeing-eye-cat.livejournal.com]

Taking a deep breath, Arhu looked inside himself at his own pain. The pain he'd faced time and time again, and that still hurt even now, even after his Sif had been returned.

"The ehhif who our mother lived with didn't want us," he said softly. "I still remember the ehhif-kits cry, saying, 'Daddy, can't we just keep one of them?' But he wouldn't let them. He put all of us in a sack, me and my littermates, and threw us into the river." He licked his nose once, and then continued. "The water started bubbling up, and we had to climb on each other to breathe, to get to the air that was remaining. And one by one they went under the water, and then started to bubble. And then they stopped bubbling, and went still. Sif, my sister, was the last one. I felt her bubble and go still. And then I started to bubble, started to drown, until an ehhif pulled the bag out of the water, and saved me. But the others were gone. Sif, my twin, was gone."

His fur was slicked down, but he crept closer to her. "It hurts to lose someone. It always does. I got Sif back, but now she's not out here with me. So I have to just keep going." Arhu looked up at Katara with wide green eyes, hurt of his own reflected in them. "But it's better to hurt with someone, so that you're not alone."

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Katara closed her eyes. She knew, in a way, that Arhu was trying to comfort her, but to hear that sadness hurt her too. She had plenty of friends, and they had their own stories too: Katara felt them all in her just as much.

She picked up the cat, gently, so he wouldn't get the wrong idea. She respected him as she did Rhiow, and all of the intelligence and magic they had. But when she heard a story like this one, she held them to let them know that she heard, and cared. That story was a hard one, and one that she was sure was hard for him to tell.

"I know," she said softly. "I know after this I will have friends that care about me: its why I know I'll keep going after this, and that not appreciating them is an insult. But losing a close connection like that hurts, as much as the first day I faced when my mother was killed, or the day my father left us to join the war. Despair comes, and its a strangling feeling, to wonder why things like this keep happening."

[seeing-eye-cat.livejournal.com]

Arhu didn't struggle. The story had brought up the fact that Sif'hhah wasn't here, that she was still in the pods too, and so he rather wanted to be held right now. At least Katara was being respectful about it.

"I know," he murmured. "But like I said...it's better to hurt with someone." Hesitantly he bumped his head against her chin, a feline sort of hug.

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"Yeah," Katara said. "I'm lucky. There are a lot of people that want to share this pain with me. I'm hurt, but I haven't lost my faith in the people on this ship. I know we can be stronger than what we appear."

She petted him lightly, smiling, but not in a condescending way. She thought of him like Appa or Momo: wise, and much smarter than the way people though of what animals were capable of.