trans_9 | Meet N' Greet

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Meet N' Greet

Part of the crew might be gone, but life on the ship goes on. In fact, new people have woken up and, eventually, they've been spat out into the mess hall.

Maybe it's better to introduce them to some of the worst aspects of ship life first, right?

Anyway, the word is out that there's new people, and someone should probably go say hello. Before the n00bs mistake the glop for crew.

[ooc: read before tagging, plz]

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It was pretty hard not to miss the guy who was standing there openly staring at all the females in the mess.

Shaking her head, Jo tossed the dude a glare. "Ya know, someone's gonna kick your @$$ if you keep lookin' at 'em like that."

Oh, how Lister is wishing for his least smeggy t-shirt, and his lucky y-fronts at this point. There is an actual woman standing talking to him.

And he can't think of a single witty thing to say.

"Give me a break, I've not seen a proper woman in..." and Lister pauses to try and count on his fingers, before giving up. "Over three million years. And the last thing that looked like a woman tried to eat my brain through a straw."

He gives Jo a suspicious look.

"You're not going to try that, are you?"

Obviously Jo's not all that impressed by dude's explantion about why he's staring at the women.

She gives him a look and rolls her eyes. "Why the hell would I want to eat your brain? If anything, I'd just kick your @§§ and be off on my merry way."

If anything, Lister looks relieved. Threats of @ss kicking he can handle rather better than slurpy brain eating things.

"You've only just met me, surely you don't dislike me already?" and Lister turns up the Liverpudlian charm to 11.

She props her hands on her hips and stares at him with an arched eyebrow. "I'm suppose to like you after I've just caught you undressing all the females in here with your eyeballs?"

Granted, it's not like there's a lot left to the imagination with the leafsuits, but still... It's the principle of the matter.

"I wasn't!" Lister automatically defends himself. "I was just looking, honest! I can't help it if there's lots of attractive ladies here, can I?"

See that Jo? That expression is Lister trying to include you in the 'attractive ladies' comment, while trying not to look as if he's eyeing you up.

"Yeah, yeah. Just stop starin'. Dude, it's seriously creepy." She informs him.

OK, so even Jo likes to be included in the attractive woman thing, but... The staring must stop, or atleast she thinks so.

Now, if this was Lister talking to Rimmer, Lister would carry on staring just on principle, and to really tee Rimmer off. Since though Lister figures it's probably better not to antagonise the ~~hot chicks~~ people on board this ship, he makes an attempt to stop.

"Better?" he asks, before offering his hand. "Dave Lister."

See Jo, he can have manners.

She reaches out and shakes his hand firmly - no wussy chick handshakes here buddy. "Jo Lupo. I'm a Deputy in my world. How about you?"

Seeeeeee? She can be nice and non kick butt mode sometimes.

Once Jo releases his hand, Lister surreptitiously tries to get some feeling back in his fingers. She's stronger than he thought. Right, avoid @ss-kicking at all costs.

"Just bumming around in space mostly. Trying to get back to Earth."

"Bumming around space?" Jo repeats. "Dude, how does that work exactly? I mean, the bumming around bit."

Jo hardly ever bums around. Even on the ship she's always doin' something. Can't let her skills go to complete crap.

Lister mostly does nothing but bum around. He considers himself an expert in it.

"Just stuff to pass the day really. Sleep, eat, drink, annoy Rimmer, play durex volleyball with the Cat. Just hanging out. There's the occasional mad panic, but then it's back to bumming about."

"Sounds... Exciting," Jo says with a shake of her head. "But really? That's all you do in space? It's not like Startrek where you encounter new lifeforms and all that jazz?"

"Well, there are times of running around trying to avoid being killed, or having your emotions sucked out of you. Oh, and trying not to have your brain sucked out. Otherwise, it's unicycle polo all the way."

And Lister quite likes it that way.

"Well do you atleast get to beat the snot outta anything?" Jo asks as she's completely for kicking major butt instead of running.

Story time with Lister!

"Well, we were attacked by this polymorph thing. It changed shapes, and stole emotions from you. It turned into a giant monster in my laundry basket, and sucked the fear right out of me."

He won't mention that it turned into a pair of underpants first, that he put on. He'd rather not remember that bit himself.

"Went after it with bazookoids blazing." That was after they decided that Rimmer's leaflet campaign wouldn't work, and Lister himself was talked out of nutting it with a grenade attached to his forehead.

Jo's eyes widen in interest and she leans forward a little bit. "Bazookoids?" She's seriously interested in what that is. "What exactly is that?"

"It's actually a mining tool, but it does as a weapon. It's about so long," and he measures out about a metre with his hands, "and fires energy. Takes most things down pretty quickly. Apart from curry monsters and simulants. You've got to improvise for those."

And the grin on Lister's face leaves no doubt that they did improvise.

"Curry monsters?" Jo repeats skeptically. "You've got to be kidding me. There's no such thing as curry monsters."

"Normally, no," Lister agrees. "Only we sort of had an accident with a DNA machine and a curry I was having."

OK even Jo knows not to eat around any sort of DNA machine. "And you made a monster?" she asks, still not quite sure if she believes him or not.

"Honest!" Lister confirms. "Dripped vindaloo sauce and everything."

He won't mention how they killed it, unless she asks. It's embarrassing.

"And what exactly does a curry monster do?" Jo continues with her questions. Seriously though, what kind of danger could food pose to someone?!

"It chases after you and tries to eat you," Lister explains. "We didn't really stop and ask it why it was doing that, we were too busy running for our lives."

OK, the sudden mental image that popped into Jo's head made her laugh. It was like some cheesy b-level horror flick. Monster, flesh eating curry monsters.

"I'm sorry, but... That's just... It's just, a disturbing yet hilarious mental image." She manages to say between laughs.

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