Meet N' Greet

[cityship]

Part of the crew might be gone, but life on the ship goes on. In fact, new people have woken up and, eventually, they've been spat out into the mess hall.

Maybe it's better to introduce them to some of the worst aspects of ship life first, right?

Anyway, the word is out that there's new people, and someone should probably go say hello. Before the n00bs mistake the glop for crew.


[ooc: read before tagging, plz]

Comments

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

Dave Lister would say that he was used to unusual situations. What wasn't usual about this situation was the attack by tentacles, a suit that felt like it was feeling him up all the time, and a ship that looked like it had crawled out of someone's nose.

Walking slightly oddly, Lister entered into the mess hall, and stopped dead. It wasn't the sheer array of races there that stopped him, nor was it the creepy architecture.

No, it was the ladies. All discomfort, and lingering memories of the Kochanski dream were blasted away in the flood of red hot hormones.

"Smegging hell, is this heaven?"

[helipack-jack.livejournal.com]

"Dude, why would you think that?" says Jack. He's been watching the new people arrive. It's been a lot like all the other podpops he's been through by now. But this has to be a new reaction to the situation.

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

Still riding the wave of hormones, it takes Lister a minute to realise that someone's speaking to him.

Jack gets nearly as long a stare as the women do, before Lister breaks out in a massive grin. "This might be rude, but you're human, aren't you? And not dead?"

The not dead is the important part.

[helipack-jack.livejournal.com]

Jack shifts a little uncomfortably, he doesn't like the stare. Sure he likes being stared at in awe, but this isn't that.

"Yeah. Pretty sure. I mean, I am sitting here talking to you."

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

If the grin on Listers face gets any larger, the top of his head may fall off.

"You could be a hologram though, which would mean you would be dead. But you say you're not dead, so you can't be a hologram." Lister logic. "Which means that I'm not the only human left alive, cos you're here."

[helipack-jack.livejournal.com]

"Well, yeah. There's tons of us here and we're all alive." Jack really has no idea what Lister's trying to get at.

"Are you... okay?"

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

"I'm fine man, really fine," is Lister's reply, his Liverpool accent slightly broader than usual thanks to his optimism.

"Mind you, where the smeg are we? The voice in the head bird wasn't much help."

[helipack-jack.livejournal.com]

"Oh, Stacy? Yeah, she's like that." He shrugs.

"We're stuck on a space ship. It's alive, and it's full of tentacles and weird alien crud and stuff. She was just keeping us locked up in here but now she sent like half of us on a mission."

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

"The ship's alive? Man, that's weird. She fly herself, or something?" Lister experimentally pokes a wall.

"Don't suppose you've seen a hologram called Rimmer round here anywhere?"

Surely his luck couldn't be that good.

[helipack-jack.livejournal.com]

"Um, Rimmer?" Jack thinks for a moment, then shakes his head. "No. I think... we have a couple AI's, but the only two I know the names of are Cortana and Rommie. But yeah, Stacy flies herself."

At least, as far as they know.

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

Lister only just barely refrains from punching the air. No Rimmer. No war-gaming, telegraph pole appreciating, nostril flaring Rimmer.

"What do we do for food around here? I could murder a curry!"

[helipack-jack.livejournal.com]

"Oh, it really sucks. It looks like this." Jack holds up his tray and makes a face and the grey slop.

"I'd about kill for a pudding cup."

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

Lister's face falls as he looks at the slop.

"That? No curry? What about lager. There's got to be lager."

[deputyjo.livejournal.com]

It was pretty hard not to miss the guy who was standing there openly staring at all the females in the mess.

Shaking her head, Jo tossed the dude a glare. "Ya know, someone's gonna kick your @$$ if you keep lookin' at 'em like that."

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

Oh, how Lister is wishing for his least smeggy t-shirt, and his lucky y-fronts at this point. There is an actual woman standing talking to him.

And he can't think of a single witty thing to say.

"Give me a break, I've not seen a proper woman in..." and Lister pauses to try and count on his fingers, before giving up. "Over three million years. And the last thing that looked like a woman tried to eat my brain through a straw."

He gives Jo a suspicious look.

"You're not going to try that, are you?"

[deputyjo.livejournal.com]

Obviously Jo's not all that impressed by dude's explantion about why he's staring at the women.

She gives him a look and rolls her eyes. "Why the hell would I want to eat your brain? If anything, I'd just kick your @§§ and be off on my merry way."

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

If anything, Lister looks relieved. Threats of @ss kicking he can handle rather better than slurpy brain eating things.

"You've only just met me, surely you don't dislike me already?" and Lister turns up the Liverpudlian charm to 11.

[deputyjo.livejournal.com]

She props her hands on her hips and stares at him with an arched eyebrow. "I'm suppose to like you after I've just caught you undressing all the females in here with your eyeballs?"

Granted, it's not like there's a lot left to the imagination with the leafsuits, but still... It's the principle of the matter.

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

"I wasn't!" Lister automatically defends himself. "I was just looking, honest! I can't help it if there's lots of attractive ladies here, can I?"

See that Jo? That expression is Lister trying to include you in the 'attractive ladies' comment, while trying not to look as if he's eyeing you up.

[deputyjo.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, yeah. Just stop starin'. Dude, it's seriously creepy." She informs him.

OK, so even Jo likes to be included in the attractive woman thing, but... The staring must stop, or atleast she thinks so.

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

Now, if this was Lister talking to Rimmer, Lister would carry on staring just on principle, and to really tee Rimmer off. Since though Lister figures it's probably better not to antagonise the hot chicks people on board this ship, he makes an attempt to stop.

"Better?" he asks, before offering his hand. "Dave Lister."

See Jo, he can have manners.

[deputyjo.livejournal.com]

She reaches out and shakes his hand firmly - no wussy chick handshakes here buddy. "Jo Lupo. I'm a Deputy in my world. How about you?"

Seeeeeee? She can be nice and non kick butt mode sometimes.

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

Once Jo releases his hand, Lister surreptitiously tries to get some feeling back in his fingers. She's stronger than he thought. Right, avoid @ss-kicking at all costs.

"Just bumming around in space mostly. Trying to get back to Earth."

[deputyjo.livejournal.com]

"Bumming around space?" Jo repeats. "Dude, how does that work exactly? I mean, the bumming around bit."

Jo hardly ever bums around. Even on the ship she's always doin' something. Can't let her skills go to complete crap.

[smegging-hell.livejournal.com]

Lister mostly does nothing but bum around. He considers himself an expert in it.

"Just stuff to pass the day really. Sleep, eat, drink, annoy Rimmer, play durex volleyball with the Cat. Just hanging out. There's the occasional mad panic, but then it's back to bumming about."