trans_9 | We all need help to feel fine... [ Semi-Closed to Billy, open to others in a separate thread ]

Entry tags:

We all need help to feel fine... [ Semi-Closed to Billy, open to others in a separate thread ]

Kaylee doesn’t want to be here anymore. Her eyes had been closed for the majority of Big Zero’s Punishment, her face buried into Kang’s side and shielded by his wing, but the screams were harder to block out. They rang out in her head as Kang had walked her back to Serenity, helped her make it to the infirmary, just in time for her to hurl up her last meal into the nearest sink. He stayed until she had her cup of tea and had assured him for what must have been the hundredth time that it was okay, he could go back and do what he needed to.

After the hundred-and-first reassurance, Kang finally leaves, and Kaylee finds herself alone with her ship. Where Wash and Jayne are, she doesn’t know, but she’s somewhat happy that they aren’t here at the moment. They’ve seen her through worse before, but she would rather sit quietly and think things over than have to talk about anything right now.

She’s not sure how to feel about Stacy at this point, a feeling that has slowly grown from the sound of screams still playing through her head. That she’s been lending a hand for all this time to help fix a ship that was capable of something so awful... Stacy might as well be a Reaver ship at this rate.

Serenity’s engine room has been a place of comfort since Kaylee joined the crew, and she holds her cup of tea close as she starts the engine up. The ship shudders to life, and the low hum alone is enough to calm her. She curls up in her hammock, closing her eyes and concentrating on the sounds of Serenity.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Kaylee.

Billy had seen Kang take care of her, felt his heart twist painfully, wished he could have comforted her too. Between all the people rushing to circle him, though, it had taken him a few hours to get away.

Finally, he managed to escape to Serenity. He carried a few small snacks that Renne had generated, hoping she was well enough to eat.

Where would she be---ah, the engine room. Of course. Billy crept there as carefully as he could, poking his head in the door. Was she asleep?

If she was, Billy would just leave the food and a note on one of the surfaces next to her hammock. He moves in as quietly as he can to do just that.

Worked up as she was, it hadn't taken long at all for Kaylee to slip into a light sleep, with the warmth and steady thrum of the engine to help her along. She was a light sleeper, and it didn't take much to wake her normally. Billy's footsteps in the hallway were enough to pull her back to semi-consciousness.

Enough that the screaming swarmed back into her ears and the images came flooding back. She started, half expecting a tentacle to be slithering through the door, and whatever was left of her cup of tea splashed across the floor as she knocked the mug aside.

It was Billy, she realized after a moment. Just Billy. Ignoring the mess on the floor as it dripped down to the panels underneath, she leaned far enough to grasp the Ranger's arm and tug him to the hammock in an obvious demand for him to curl up with her.

Jayne was uncomfortable.

After the encounter with Steve and the time spent healing and being monitored for infection seeing whoever that girl was ripped apart and put back together did not sit well with the hardened mercenary.

It wasn't the torture that bothered him, it was the sudden realization that the ship itself could do that to them and there wouldn't be a thing they could do about it.

So he did what he always did in situations where he needed to remind himself he was still alive, he worked out.

Grunting and sweating down in the cargo bay Jayne was on his workout bench lifting a heavy weight pushing it off his chest, having long since lost track of the number of times he'd done it.

No wonder she's startled. After all they'd been through today? He would be too. Billy crouched, throwing out his hands in defense. "Kaylee, it's me, Billy. Don't worry, I was only bringing you---"

But this wasn't a time for explanations, he noted as she tugged on his arm. No, what they needed now was comfort, and he knew why.

With a half-smile, he set the mug and snacks back on the counter before joining Kaylee in the hammock. After a quick test that it could handle their weight, he laid beside her and set a hand on her arm. "I'd ask if you're feeling better, but I don't think anyone is."

Kaylee already knew the hammock would be fine for both of them, but she let Billy test it as he needed. Once he was settled she curled up close against his side.

"Think you'd be the one to ask first," she replied, reaching up to push some of his hair back. "Bet you've had to repeat yourself on more'n once today, though, so I'll let it slide if you will."

The visit from Billy had helped her significantly, and Kaylee hoped it had helped Billy a bit too. It had been enough to get her up and moving again, and after cleaning up the mess of tea on the engine room floor she headed back down to the cargo bay.

She wasn't sure if she had expected Jayne to be back just yet or not, and she silently hoped Billy had been able to leave without too much trouble from the mercenary.

"Jayne?" she asked timidly, not wanting to startle him from his concentration. "How ya doin'?"

Billy was satisfied after a few seconds of testing, curling one of his arms around her protectively. That was all right, right?

"I have, but I'll explain if you want me to. I just...felt sick. It was the most disproportionate act of retribution I've ever seen."

He was definitely not looking forward to the nightmares tonight.

Jayne grunted as he was brought back to Earth by Kaylee's voice. He put the weight back on the bench and sat up using a towel to mop his brow, "Didn't hear ya come in. You been back long?"

Apparently he'd been unaware of her even being on board...though logic would have told him the engine running meant she was around. He must have been too absorbed in his own thoughts...which for Jayne was rare.

Better than all right. This was nice, and would hopefully do both of them some good.

"Can't imagine there was anybody who didn't feel a bit nauseous over it." Kaylee doubted she was the only one who had ended up losing lunch over it.

"For a while, yeah." Which meant that he hadn't encountered Billy. Probably for the best, that.

There was an awkward pause as Kaylee sorted out what to say. Jayne wasn't exactly the first person she would normally come running to for something like this.

"...how're you doin'?"

"I can," Billy admitted, curling close. "In other environments like this one, more extreme methods of torture have been devised. That might only be the first Punishment."

He shuddered. "A broken nose doesn't warrant public torture. Neither do 15 of them. The only intent, then, was to terrify us," he muttered, glancing at the walls. Stacy probably didn't appreciate him saying this.

Jayne blinked as he tried to sort out the difference between what she said and what she meant. Womenfolk loved to ask simple sounding questions that were actually supposed to be really complex.

Jayne however was a simple creature. "Fine." He responded dropping his sodden towel at his feet, "You wanna do a set? I'll spot ya." It was weird to offer it to Kaylee but none of his usual work out buddies like the Sheperd were about so maybe she'd be interested...he'd have to get smaller weights though.

It wasn't right, at all, ever, didn't matter what 'verse they were in.

Stacy's scaretactics at work. Kaylee frowned, adding a, "Right into behavin'," after Billy's words. The ship was going to torture and scare them into submission? She could have just been left at home if she wanted to see this gou se happen.

Kaylee grew quiet again, before speaking in a barely audible whisper, "...I've been helpin' her." And she had been, if she'd been repairing Stacy and helping to keep the ship running.

She wasn't sure what she had expected from asking. It was Jayne, after all. He wasn't going to suddenly open his heart up and talk to her about something.

With an awkward blink at the workbench, Kaylee shook her head. "No, it's. Alright. Wouldn't mind sittin' in with you, though." It was more or less an offer to spot him, not that she thought he needed it.

And as soon as Kaylee said it, he realized the truth. It hurt.

"We all have," he answered, suddenly feeling sick. Billy wasn't about to expel anything, thank goodness, but he did feel a little dizzy.

"They tried to tell us not to be afraid over the omnicoms. The rules haven't changed in this long, and it's not expected that they will, but...I just don't know. We're needed to be alive and under control...aren't we?"

There's something he's missing here, some shred of optimism to hang onto, but it eluded him. "I wish she would say something, but I think her programming might be restraining her again."

"Sure. alright." The answer was almost immediate. Not that Jayne needed comforting. That would be pathetic and weak and not at all Jaynelike no sir.

He lay back on the bench and resumed his lifting leaving only some grunts and the clink of the weights to fill the silence. Finally in between breaths he asked, "So you go to that punishment thing too?"

Silence was the only way she could bring herself to agree. Her stomach twisted into knots again, and for the first time Kaylee was glad for her stomach being empty.

They were like trained and caged dogs at this point, needed to pull the cart and not ask too many questions and to sit and stay and come when called.

She tried to say that it was for the better, that they were helping and saving people who needed it, but it wasn't in her to force the words out, or to push a smile. Instead she managed a small whimper of acknowledgment to the facts, and buried her face into Billy's shoulder in an attempt to at least slow the tears that were welling up.

Kaylee fell into place at the far end of the work bench, going through the motions more than really paying attention to the job. The idea of lying and saying she hadn't gone was very much present in her mind, but she knew it wouldn't do much good to anyone.

"...yeah. Yeah, I went."

Billy was speechless too, at least for a while. All he could do was hold her close, comforting her while he tried to think of what to say. If there was anything to say that could possibly make this better.

He stroked her back as he thought, searching hard for any comfort he could give. "I'll never make you break a rule, all right? If there's ever a situation in which an engineer has to break rules and risk Punishment, I'll do it. Nothing else should put you in danger."

His muscles seemed much more pronounced as they worked away on the familiar up and down of the weight lifting action, "That was dumb. You hate stuff like that." He pointed out in a typical practical fashion. First would come insensitivity, then perhaps he would find a spark of humanity and offer some support.

There wasn't much that could be said at this moment. Time would help make things better, but there was definitely no turning back to the completely naivete they might have had before. Not from this point on.

She wanted to yell at him for that, to tell him that it wasn't fair and he shouldn't be the one to make a choice like that. But as a higher ranking member of the crew, it was more his choice than hers, however unfair it sounded. Still. "That ain't. I'd do it, you know. If I was told--asked. You don't...you don't gotta put the weight of the 'verse on your shoulders, Billy. Wouldn't be any more fair to let you do it than to let..."

Kaylee scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yeah. Maybe a bit." She wasn't even sure of her own reasoning anymore, so she didn't bother saying it, just went back to being silent and watching Jayne.

Billy sighed. Of course it wouldn't help, but was there a better choice? "If it will keep our crew safe and willing to work, what choice do I have? I'll at least make the offer to everyone and ask them to consider it."

It wasn't fair, it wasn't right, but at least they knew that he would survive a Punishment now. "I don't want us to have to be afraid, Kaylee. If I can help you, I will. That's a promise."

Jamie had gotten a glimpse of Kaylee as she left with Kang. Numb from what he had seen, it had taken a bit for the realization to sink in that she was there and she had seen the punishment too. Once it had, he took off after them, but they were too far ahead of him to figure out where they had gotten to.

It had taken him a bit of wandering before he figured out that she was likely on Serenity, and it wasn't too much longer after that that he found himself standing outside the ship. He had told her he wasn't going to come there to visit to avoid any conflict with Jayne, but it was Kaylee, and he wasn't about to let that stop him from making sure she was okay...well, as okay as anyone was right about now.

Entering the cargo bay, he stopped just inside, then brought his hands up and cupped them around his mouth to call out and see if she was aboard. "Kaylee? Are ye about?"

Jayne slowed his reps as he continued a moment or two later through his teeth, "Anyone talk about what she did to piss off the ship so bad? All I heard was she had a buncha warnings."

Not that Jayne was any stranger to breaking rules but it was easier to avoid punishment where they came from.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 1 of 3

We all need help to feel fine... [ Semi-Closed to Billy, open to others in a separate thread ]

no subject

no subject

Other thread \o/

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Other other thread. :)

no subject