trans_9 | [Closed convo for Eva and Dani]

Eva is all purposeful steps and tightly-controlled anger as she stalks the halls, looking for Dani Phantom. She doesn't want to look any more intimidating than she has to - she is, after all, going to talk to a child - but the idea of someone defending Iniss' enslavement of Tom Berenson makes her insides clench up with fury.

She knows that she's risking blowing her cover as Visser One, but she also knows that if she lies in Cassie's house and just burns with indignation she'll never let herself rest, and if there's any chance at all she can help get that poor boy free it's worth the risk.

She doesn't quite know what Dani looks like, so instead she's asking every passerby in the right age range who they are, trying to sound as innocuous as possible. She's even keeping the post-Controller tics under control, knowing that sometimes people aren't forthcoming with information to twitchy people who talk to themselves.

"Are you Dani Phantom?" she asks, and when people say no she moves on and keeps asking. She's been doing this for half an hour now.

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She doesn't say anything to Dani's expression, but returns a look that sums up yes, it's all on you.

"We'll just have to disagree on what has to be given up to give people chances." Eva will try to swallow her distaste and exasperation while she's at it. It'll be impossible not to think of what will happen in three days when Tom is reinfested. She touches her ear self-consciously, pushes her hair back to try and disguise it. "I wouldn't presume any of us have the power to chance your mind. Just to inform you and hope you make whatever the right choice is."

"Then what was the attempt at a guilt trip?" Dani asked. "And it's surprising how much needs to be done, to undo what someone was raised with."

"Giving you information. If you're going to play God with man and Yeerk, you need to know what the actual consequences are. Being a Controller is hell on Earth and to convince yourself otherwise to help you sleep at night is a lie. That's all."

Dani frowned. "...and here I thought you thought I wasn't a little girl who didn't know what she was doing," she said. "I don't lie to myself. That ended badly any time I've done it. I know what I'm doing. I actually questioned what I was getting into and made my decision with as much information that was truly relevant to what I needed to know. And I'm sick and tired of all of you throwing the guilt I DO feel in my face, but either way, I'd feel it, no matter what I decided. So trying to guilt me is rather pointless."

"My decisions haven't proven to be wrong yet. Tom has more freedom than he would have ever had if he never came to Stacy. He deserves more, yes, and he'll get it. But the only time he's been truly hurt was because of decisions from YOUR world," Dani said, her voice getting quite cold as she got mad again. "And you know what? Iniss was willing to help with Tom after his break down. So before you condemn him, remember this; Iniss let me control him. Let me overshadow HIM because that was the only way Tom would listen to me. There's been a lot of harm, but he's also helped. Even when there was no real benefit to him."

Eva doesn't think Dani has any idea what she's doing, or truly understands it, because how could one compare isolation and blindness to the complete mental violation of being a host? Eva's done both. She knows which one she prefers. And she knows that even if Iniss were human, she'd choose Tom over him, because he's only a child, one who's already suffered too much. So she just raises her eyebrows and tries to keep calm.

"I'm not trying to guilt you. If I'm making you feel guilty, maybe you should take that into consideration, but I'm only trying to tell you what you're doing because I don't think you understand the severity of it. Because if you did you'd never think that putting Iniss back in Tom's head is more fair than putting Iniss in stasis."

She bites her lip. A Yeerk, giving up their bodily autonomy? Giving up what they so freely take from others? Edriss wouldn't even let Leeran Controllers live after a project finished because they might read her mind.

"And I'm not condemning him for anything he hasn't done. He's decided that his mobility is more important than Tom's well-being. That's a fact. That he let you help doesn't change that. It doesn't make Iniss purely evil either, but keeping Tom infested isn't humane. And that's all I have to say about that, and if your mind's made up, there isn't anything I can do about that. But there isn't enough guilt you can feel for keeping that boy infested, and there never will be."

"Thank you for the walk." She closes her hands into fists as she turns and leaves. By the time she's reached the other end of the hallway, her fingernails have bitten bloody trails into her palms.

"Either way I feel guilt," Dani said. "I've already said that. But the thing about making a difficult choice is you have to despite the guilt. As you've said, you had an easier time to look at Yeerks more objectively. So maybe you should think how you would have handle it had it been harder," Dani said flatly.

"You should also get rid of the sweet act when you don't mean it. Dad did that a lot," she shot back and turned, flying away.

[Closed convo for Eva and Dani]

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