And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking [closed]

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

There were a few times his eyes had nearly flitted open, a few times his father's voice came to him in his drugged sleep, but otherwise, he slept a deep sleep.

And he dreamed. He dreamed things that hadn't happened and things that had. Mostly things that had, mostly his mind sorted backwards through memory, perusing events, major and minor, with clarity he didn't usually have.

Not that he'd remember any of it when he woke up.

If he woke up.

It was as if part of his brain was searching for some sense in it all, some reason why he'd had such a miserable time of things, had things get better, and then had it all taken away again. There had to be some sense somewhere, right, some reason for why it all had worked out the way it had.

He couldn't just be that monumentally unlucky, could he?

His subconscious didn't think so.

So he dreamed, and even though it all blended together senselessly, he remembered.

Comments

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

"You're going away again, aren't you."

He had his basket packed. Hiccup knew what it meant when he had the basket packed. And they'd all been talking about sailing for new hunting grounds because of the dragons taking their food. He'd overhead people in the village.

[stoickthevast.livejournal.com]

Stoick hardly even glanced at his son, as he ran through a list of things he needed to make sure his group had before setting out.

"The village needs an additional food source," Stoick replied. "I won't be gone for too long." I hope. "You'll be alright, won't you?" If nothing else, Gobber would be here to help him if he had any problems.

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

"I'll just be here." By myself. Again. "I'll be fine."

The village came first. It had to come first, because it was the village. That was a lot of people that needed looking after.

For a moment, Hiccup dithered there, the picture of childish awkwardness, and then he stepped forward and hugged his father's leg. It was sort of the only thing he could reach.

Sailing was dangerous. There were storms and sometimes dragon attacks at sea. He'd heard stories from Gobber.

"This isn't like...you're not going where the other ships go? That don't come back?"

It wouldn't be like that, right?

[stoickthevast.livejournal.com]

Stoick reached down to pick up the basket when his leg was seized in a hug. He looked down at his son and sighed, squatting down to place his large hands on his son's scrawny shoulders. He made sure to meet his son's gaze.

"I will be back, Hiccup. Don't you worry about that." How many dragons had he fought? How long had he been chief of Berk? He had experience, but even the sea could have its moments. He gently squeezed Hiccup's shoulder and stood up, grabbing the basket.

"Can I trust you to look after the sheep while I'm gone?"

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

Hiccup nodded obediently.

"An' the chickens."

[stoickthevast.livejournal.com]

Stoick smiled faintly. "Good."

He turned towards the ship rocking gently on the waves at the dock. The sooner he left, the sooner he could return.

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

Hiccup trotted back up to the house, pushed his way through the front door, and trotted out the back and now he was suddenly a little bit older, racing out in the fields after chores to play.

He knew she'd be meeting him there.

"Astrid! Hey, Astrid!"

[astridhofferson.livejournal.com]

(http://photobucket.com)

There was a blonde little girl, decked out in thick twin-tailed braids that stuck out at either side of her head. She was only, say maybe, a few inches or so taller than him. Although he is a puny boy.

"Late!"

"What kind of loyal vassal are you? This calls for punishment later, just so you know," she scoffs, slapping her hands to her small hips. "So be prepared for the conse--conse... c-con... um..." What was that word.

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

"Consequences?"

[astridhofferson.livejournal.com]

(http://photobucket.com)

Flatly stares for a moment. "What are you talking about?"

Short attention span go! (Yes, she's not acknowledging that he corrected her.)

"No matter." She crosses her arms, holding her chin. "I think I already have a punishment in mind, anyway. Maybe I'll ask Ruffnut for help since you have a loooot of hair. I can't braid it by myself and I don't think I'm as good as mom."

YOU WILL LOOK SO FABULOUS, HICCUP.

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

A long-suffering sigh.

"After you braid my hair, can we play?"

[astridhofferson.livejournal.com]

(http://photobucket.com)

Thinks about this.

"...Buuuut I think Ruffnut is gone with her family on a boat trip. It'll have to wait."

"So we can play."

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

He was ten now.

"I'm not crazy, I just--you know, I thought it'd be a better idea than just waiting in the stall. I didn't really think all the water would get that pressurized."

He was trying to explain to her. Because, like everyone else, she had that Look on her face.

[astridhofferson.livejournal.com]

(http://photobucket.com)

Ten-year old Astrid sits upright on the ground, busy wrapping and adjusting the last bandage around her right arm for protection, readying for another day of axe wielding alone in the woodlands far out from their village.

Her hair is different now. Instead of the twin-tails she once fancied, it was changed not long ago... precisely after a bigger change in her life. Her usual style abandoned, she had her hair cut slightly shorter and fitted in a single braided pony-tail. This look was more preferable and made it less bothersome when she trained.

What else is new? She got it. He created another stupid... concoction and screwed something up. Again. Just like three days ago. And before that. Even when he is scolded by his father for it, the idiot still persists.

"Are you done now? I'd like to get to my practice before night falls," she replies rather coldly.

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

He looked...hurt. Almost visibly flinching at her sharp tone.

"After you practice, do you wanna hang out?"

They don't play anymore, oh no. Not since her father died. Astrid didn't play anymore. Still, he liked to spend time with her, chatter at her. He tried his best to get her to smile (and always failed).

[astridhofferson.livejournal.com]

(http://photobucket.com)

He's still here? How does Gobber put up with this. Didn't he get the message when she deliberately would walk past him and stopped talking to him for a period of time?

"Didn't you hear me? I'll be gone and then I'll have to go eat dinner, do more chores, and after that I'm sleeping. "Hanging out" is just a waste of my time."

What's more is hanging out with Hiccup means she'll just hear that mindless blather he does when he talks about things she has zero interest in, like the gadgets he fiddles with or barrage her with more "Hiccup questions".

Furthermore, people were getting the wrong idea, mainly why she gave attention to the chief's useless boy. It confused her and she brushed it off as a younger child, but now when she heard it... it grated her nerves. She is just as capable alone as she was with her father supporting her.

They were wrong. She didn't need anyone. She'd get by on her own. And she'll prove just that when she becomes stronger. Slaying a Monsterous Nightmare when she's enrolled in Dragon Training, ending this war against the dragon vermin... and in due time, finally move on to much bigger "game"-- the sadistic Viking outcasts that ambushed her father's ocean fishing fleet and slain the Hofferson leader. The vile, cannibal pigs.

Basically, she had a lot going for her. What does Hiccup have going for him?

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

"So you...you won't ever want to hang out, will you."

He was starting to get it now.

[astridhofferson.livejournal.com]

(http://photobucket.com)

Astrid swears she can hear the sound of her patience slowly snapping.

"...What do you think we are? We're not seven anymore, Hiccup. ...Grow up already! Playtime is over. Our very futures are at stake." Or at least her's is. Don't know about you, Hiccup, but she had a feeling it could mean trouble for Berk's future as well.

And it continued, her words like arrow after arrow shot into him.

"Maybe if you spent more time involved like the rest of us instead of screwing around you'll actually amount to something! You're the son of the chief! Do you even understand what that means! Life is harsh. Your dad won't be there to save your skin forever. I won't stick around to watch you go down. ...Be more serious!"

...It's disappointing, really. She honestly once believed you were destined for something, Hiccup.

Astrid rose to her feet, picking up her training axe and swung it, flat-side, pointing it at him. It wasn't threatening, but it would be the first time she's ever raised a weapon in this manner towards him. "Think on that for awhile, hm? In the meantime, don't follow me. Some of us actually want to make it into Dragon Training, you know. So I'm only going to say this once: Stay out of my way."

Stay away from me.

Turning her back on him, she shouldered her axe and walked off not to be seen again for the length of the day.

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

Hiccup watched his younger self from the edge of the field.

"Why am I watching this?"

Looking down, he realized the front of his tunic was soaked in blood, and he had a hand to his gut and turned around.

He now found himself facing...himself, in a room not unlike where he'd been left trapped by those aliens. Metal walls, harsh-looking corridors.

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

The other him was pasted up to the wall by alien snot as he'd been during the mission. Only he was in a much more grisly condition, his stomach was burst open and by all right, he shouldn've been dead, but he wasn't.

"You're dying. Well, giving it your best shot anyway. Maybe this is just your mind trying to work some things out before you die," said the him dangling from the wall, conversationally, as if nothing was wrong.

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

Hiccup raised both eyebrows at the grisly sight.

"Like...what exactly?"

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

"No offense, or anything? But you're pretty messed up," said the double. "Saving the village didn't fix you, either, it just got rid of that which got you all messed up in the first place. Some things have to be internal--is any of this getting through to you?"

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

"No, no, I get it. I am still a head case. I know this."

He sat down with a flump against the wall.

"Take a look at dad. He forgets everything I did and it's enough to drive me crazy, worrying about how to prove myself to him again."

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

"You waste so much time thinking about such stupid things. About how others see you. You base so much of who you are on what other people think. That's what's pathetic about you."

[i-saw-myself.livejournal.com]

Back in the waking world, scans and monitors beeped. Toothless nudged Hiccup's hand, and for a moment--just for a moment--that hand moved to scratch his nose, and then went still again.

Other than that, there was no movement.

However, one of the monitors reflected a change.

Hiccup's fever had broken.