trans_9 | Reminiscing [Closed to Kang]

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Reminiscing [Closed to Kang]

Time blurred for Stoick as he sat vigilantly by Hiccup's bedside in the medbay. The passing of time he hardly notice as he waited for any sign of improvement in his son's condition. The doctor's uninspiring comment that it was possible Hiccup might be lost to Valhalla was what kept Stoick from leaving.

And perhaps it was his own stubborn nature that kept him there: knowing that Hiccup was strong enough to recover; now if only he would. There hadn't been much, if any, sign of change and while Hiccup was still alive for the most part, even that could change quickly. It was not easy for Stoick, who in addition to this, was wrestling with his own demons of guilt and sorrow.

He rose to gently squeeze his son's hand before stepping outside for a few minutes. He needed to stretch his legs, and grab a breath of fresh air.

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Kang had checked in on Hiccup a few times over the past couple of days, and seeing the empty chair next to the bed was... surprising. Not once had he come in there to find Stoick gone. He felt guilty for being a little glad about that; he was well aware that he wasn't the boy's father, that his father had every right to monopolize the room in this situation, but he had wanted at least a few minutes of privacy.

Stoick hadn't been gone long. The chair was still warm as he sat down and sighed, wings drooping slightly. "...don't you dare give up. You're strong enough to survive this."

The walk was exactly what Stoick needed. The slight bit of exercise got his blood moving and he was able to clear his head for a little bit. Not that sitting at Hiccup's bedside hadn't provided that much, but just getting out of the room occasionally seemed refreshing.

Coming to the end of the corridor he'd been walking down, he turned to head back to Hiccup's room. He contemplated walking past, to meander down the next corridor, but something in him told him to check inside.

He was surprised to find none other than Kang sitting in his spot. Even so, he didn't enter immediately, opting instead to observe him from the doorway.

Beyond that, Kang really didn't have anything else to say, so he stayed quiet, just thinking to himself. It felt silly to talk to someone that was unconscious anyways; Hiccup couldn't hear him, after all.

At last, Stoick entered albeit hesitantly.

His voice was soft when he broke the silence. "I didn't expect to see you here." It wasn't precisely an accusation, but neither was it particularly friendly.

Kang started, looking toward the doorway, and when he saw who it was, he stood up, scales clicking. "...has he shown any signs of improvement?"

Stoick sighed and shook his head.

"No. I keep thinking that he'll just open his eyes, but..." But clearly that hadn't happened. It probably wouldn't for some time still.

He moved to the foot of Hiccup's bed, wanting to ask why Kang was here, but hesitated, unsure of his own intentions in asking.

"He's too stubborn to die," Kang smiled to himself, looking down at Hiccup and debating leaving right then and there.

Something in that statement sparked some anger in Stoick. He glanced over at Kang.

"What would you know of that?"

Kang tensed, keeping his voice neutral, "I haven't known him for very long, but it's hard not to notice how strong-willed he can be."

Fair enough. Stoick let it go. He was anxious, worried, and trying to keep it together, which wasn't easy. He didn't intend to take it out on Kang, but Stoick didn't have anywhere to turn and seeing Hiccup like this was hard enough without worrying about what else his son had been up to in his absence.

He emitted a sound between a frustrated sigh and a growl. If only he had been faster, or had stayed with the engineers in the first place, this might never have happened.

"I never should've let him go," he muttered half under his breath.

"Besides the fact that Stacy didn't give us much of a choice, we didn't know what was going to happen," Kang said quietly. "We got bad intel, and those things took us by surprise. No one could have guessed what was going to happen."

"I never should have left his side," Stoick retorted. Splitting up had been a bad idea, even if it had been to keep an eye out for enemies. Yet even so they'd been taken by surprise. And now... Now this had to go and happen.

And worse, there would be no revenge. They wouldn't be heading back--not now, not ever. The creatures were simply too dangerous to consider going back. And frankly, Stoick wouldn't wish this on anyone. But it didn't make it any easier to deal with.

"What am I going to do?"

"You probably would have gotten nabbed too, and might be in a bed beside him right now," Kang pointed out, voice still neutral. If they'd had more warning, he was sure they could have fought the things off, but it'd happened too quickly.

He sighed. "I can't answer that for you. You have to figure it out on your own."

Edited 2010-09-10 00:44 (UTC)

He hadn't really expected an answer to be honest, so when it didn't really turn out to be that helpful a bit more frustration showed than Stoick would have liked.

"I'd rather trade places with him. Hiccup's too young to have to go through this."

Kang smartly refrained from echoing that sentiment, though his glance down at Hiccup may have betrayed him somewhat. "I should go. You'll tell me if anything changes?"

Stoick hesitated, trying to place his finger on what was different here. The way Kang was looking at his son, however, indicated that perhaps Kang felt just as much a loss as Stoick. But that didn't make sense.

"Are you really so concerned about Hiccup?" He couldn't remember if Kang had been as worried about the other member of the group that had been infested.

"Everyone on this mission was my responsibility. Why wouldn't I want to know if Hiccup's going to be alright? I've checked on Rose a couple of times, too," Kang said carefully. "And, I like the kid, and Astrid."

Stoick glanced between Kang and Hiccup. "Then perhaps I should be the one to leave."

Slighted didn't even begin to cover his feelings. He chalked it up to the fact he hadn't been doing much but sitting and thinking and not to the fact that it was Kang's concern for his son that really irked him.

Kang winced.

"Whatever it is you think is going on, you've got it wrong."

Stoick turned on Kang then, tired of holding in his emotions like he'd been doing unconsciously since all this had begun. He was worried, frustrated, and he really didn't have anyone to turn to.

"And what might I think is going on?"

"You're his father," Kang said simply, wings rustling.

Stoick just stood there, not sure what that was supposed to mean.

"Is that supposed to make this easier?"

"You're not even aware of it, are you?" Kang realized. "I was hoping we wouldn't have to have this discussion. I've been careful to try to not give you the wrong idea. Hiccup and I are rather close, but I don't have any intentions of replacing you in his life."

Best to just get it out and hope he isn't going to have one angry Viking on his hands.

Stoick felt his body grow cold. Replaced? By Kang? Never mind that Kang was telling him that wasn't the case, but it struck him hard.

Maybe he wasn't cut out for this. He knew he hadn't been the best father in the world, but he had tried to provide well for his son. But if all that was going to be tossed aside, then, well...what was the point?

"Maybe you should."

Kang bit back a growl, "Do you have any idea how hard that boy has been trying to prove himself to you? That he's not useless, or a burden? You're his father. He looks up to you. He'd forgive you anything, if you sincerely apologized, and worked to try and fix it. If you give up on him, it'll crush him and make him feel even more useless than he already does."

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