trans_9 | When I Wear Jet-Black [Closed to Steve]

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When I Wear Jet-Black [Closed to Steve]

It had been a couple of days since Nanoha had brought Miku to the medbay. She hadn't moved since then, though her temperature and color had improved greatly. Her pulse had strengthened. Somewhere, deep down in her mind, Miku had been building her way back up. She didn't know exactly what had gone wrong, or where she'd lost her control, but she had, and it had been frightening.

Her mind felt muzzy and the rest of her had that pleasantly heavy sensation of waking slowly from a deep sleep. As she came closer to consciousness, Miku sighed heavily and opened her eyes, forcing them to focus on the redhead face down on her bedside, head pillowed on one arm. He looked a worse for wear, even sleeping as he was.

Miku lifted her arm and placed her hand on Steve's head.

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Steve hadn't been here the entire time Miku was unconscious-- he'd tried to get his mind off of it by doing other things, but as soon as the trouble went down he was immediately armed and back to the medbay to watch over her.

He barely stirred as Miku's hand brushed his head, but slowly came to his senses and sat up groggily. Then he freaked out.

"Miku!" He very nearly knocked over the tray on her bedside table. "Miku, you're awake! Are you okay?!"

Miku squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again. Not trusting her voice to sound little more than a rusty mess, she nodded and slowly sat up.

He rushed to help her sit up, putting an arm around her shoulder to help pull her sitting and moving the pillows behind her. "Oh god, they didn't know what was wrong with you and I've been-"

There it was, the unmistakable sound of a loud snort, the type Steve used to try to save face when he was on the verge of full-out sobbing. There were tears in his eyes, though he tried to hide them by putting his arms around her.

"God damn, I've been worried sick about you!"

Miku held on to Steve and tried to turn her head to get a better look at him. Just how long had she been out? It had been hard to tell in that floating, white world she'd found herself stuck in. "I'm sorry," she rasped. Miku cleared her throat and repeated it a little louder. "I'm sorry."

Now he was desperately trying to control himself, though it was obvious this had been building up for a few days. "It's not your fault, it's not your fault. I just-" Couldn't stand to lose anyone else. And he'd been starting to think he might have after the second day.

"I thought it was like before, when you were cursed. I'm so glad you're awake."

Miku shook her head, and cast a quick glance at her arms behind Steve. She didn't hurt, which was a good sign, and she couldn't see any of those tale-tell red marks. "I would've told you," she murmured, "if I thought I hadn't beaten it." She had, though. She knew she had. She'd let go of her hold on Mafuyu and felt a certain sense of relief.

She pulled her head back to try and get a look at his face, chewing her lower lip worriedly. "I really would've."

As she tried to get a look at him, he quickly moved one hand over to wipe across his eyes. Because he totally wasn't crying or anything. Even if his face was red and his eyes puffy.

"I said it wasn't your fault," he insisted. "But it doesn't matter, as long as you're... you're not-" Snort. "I don't care as long as you're okay."

Miku took care of the wet spots across his cheeks clumsily with the heel of her hand. Of course Steve wasn't crying. Stacy had clearly just randomly spritzed his face for knocking over the tray next to her bed.

"I'm.... well, I think I'm fine, Steve." She still felt a bit weird and her movements uncommonly clumsy, but at least she didn't feel completely invalid. Speaking of which, her hair felt loose, and she pushed a heavy lock off her shoulder. Where had her hairpin gotten off to?

And now he was red, too, though that was because Miku caught him ~~crying~~ having knocked over that tray and gotten spritzed. "Are you sure?" he asked. "What happened to you, anyway?"

Miku looked down sheepishly and knitted her eyebrows together as she tried to recall. "I can't really remember all of it." There was probably a reason that the event itself was all fragmented. "But... I do remember I was practicing what Cargn-sensei had taught me."

"I was in a building... and I had been... trying to read it? I don't know why I thought it was a good idea." She swallowed around the dryness in her throat and sighed.

She had been practicing what Cargn taught her? His jaw dropped open. "You were- just trying to read a building and you just... went out?"

Long pause.

Then more panic. "I didn't know your powers were so dangerous!" Holy shit, everybody was always going on and on about how Steve shouldn't strain himself, but at least he'd never been found unconscious on the ground. "You could have gotten killed!"

"That...! They're not..." Miku started to protest. Steve did have a point, as much as she didn't want to admit it. "I just... I lost control and..."

Not helping your case, Miku.

"Miku..." Steve half-groaned, still looking horrified. "If I have to keep under control then so do you! What if you got really hurt or something?"

"Then I would probably have just ---" Miku replied, and her raspy voice went out with a squeak. She kept moving her mouth, hoped Steve would get the rest of her sentence.

He didn't at all. But it made him frantically go for the tray next to the one he almost knocked over, grabbing for a small cup of water and handing it to her with a concerned frown on his face.

"Here."

Miku took the water and sipped at it, purposefully taking her time in the hope that he would just calm down a bit. And maybe that she would, too. Miku rubbed her thumb across her forehead and sighed, after swallowing the last of the water.

"Ah." She tested her voice. "Ah. Ah." Well, it sounded better, anyway. "Thank you."

Fortunately, Miku's hopes came true, and Steve was so caught up making sure she wasn't going to choke on her water or accidentally drown or faint again or anything else dangerous-- that by the time she was done drinking, he was done shouting.

"Yeah, sure. Are you gonna be okay?"

Miku nodded, "Has anything happened? Do you think they'll let me go?" She sounded hopeful, probably because the medbay was sort of creepy when one really sat down and thought about it.

Steve was not very good at hiding his expressions, and even less so when Miku asked if anything had happened.

"Yeah, something..." he started to mutter, but then realized how very little he wanted to be the one to tell Miku about all that had happened during her little slumber. "I don't know. But if you feel okay they might just want to see if you're sick before they let you go... and it's probably a good idea anyway," he offered.

Well, that wasn't suspicious or anything. Maybe Nanoha would know. Or she could check the comms and see. "I don't feel sick," Miku replied gently. And now that her lips weren't tinted and she didn't feel like a human snowball, she didn't feel so cold, either.

"I'll let them know that I feel fine, then." There was a distinct feeling of something not right going on, but Miku felt a little gunshy about using her ability. She started to pull herself off the bed.

And Steve was quick to be at her side to help. "Don't strain yourself, okay?" he reminded her. "Let me help if you need it."

Boy, was this a reversal of the usual. Though where Miku always wished she could do more, Steve hoped he wasn't being too overbearing. She did say she felt fine after all...

Well, they'd know for sure once he helped her stand up!

Miku slid off the bed and leaned against Steve for a second, while the rest of her body remembered where to put her weight. "It's... a little weird to hear you worry like this, Steve."

Not terrible, no, but considering their roles were usually her admonishing him for not being careful and him... being Steve, it was a little jarring.

"I know," he admitted with an embarrassed smile. "It's usually me making you worry. Turns out I hate it this way around too."

He was careful to make sure she wouldn't stumble or fall, and tried to stabilize her once she was on her feet. "Still okay?"

Miku patted herself down, as if making sure. Hips, waist, shoulders, everything seemed to be in working order. "I'm okay," she confirmed. "We should go."

"Okay," he said, and offered her his arm just in case she wanted it. "Don't push yourself, now."

"And worry you more? I wouldn't," Miku replied and linked her arm with his. Not that she needed the support, but it seemed to Miku like maybe he needed confirmation that she was really awake and not in a state worth worrying over.

That did help. He looked a little more confident as she didn't immediately stumble and collapse to the floor.

"Things got kind of crazy the lat day or two," Steve admitted as they headed down the row.

"So what happened?" Miku asked and felt a little twinge in her chest, as if her subconscious wasn't sure she wanted to know what was going on. "...Or should I be asking, 'How bad was it?'"

Steve took a deep breath. "There was a parasite infesting one of the crew members, and it made him attack. He planted bombs all over the ship. Luckily only one of them went off... but the crew member and another girl got killed."

"Who?" Miku's eyebrows furrowed together. It looked like she was right about her bad feeling.

He frowned. "Her name was Cassie. And the person who was infected was Kawalsky, that military guy who was high up."

She stopped in midstep.

"...Kawalsky is... dead?!" He'd been her superior for a long while, before the reordering of the ship commenced. He'd been very nice, despite leading a team of people who generally didn't listen.

And he'd been infected with something.

Steve had no idea that Miku had known him. His face went sort of blank and he quietly nodded in confirmation.

"I'm really sorry, Miku... I didn't know that you-"

"I... he... when I popped, during the zombies, I met him then. He was always very kind to me, even though I'm a complete failure of a soldier." Despite having slept the last few days, Miku suddenly wanted to do only that.

She leaned her head against Steve's arm as they walked. It was a lot to think about. "Will there be a funeral? I'd like to go."

Steve was happy to offer her his shoulder, putting his arm around her.

"I'm sure they'll have a funeral. They did last time somebody died," he said, reaching down to squeeze her hand. "I'm so sorry."

"Thank you," Miku replied quietly. She squeezed his hand in return, a little too tightly. "It's strange how quickly things change around here, isn't it? One minute, everything is fine, and the next..." she sighed and leaned closer to Steve, as if trying to hide herself in him. "Let's just get my check up finished with, and... not be in here."

"Yeah. I know just what you mean."

Steve was pretty hasty to leave medbay behind as well, squeezing Miku's hand back. "I'll go with you, if you want."

"I'd like that. I don't... really like going to funerals alone, anyway." The fact that she'd been to enough of them to say this reliably bothered her a little.

"I've never been to one," he admitted. "But I understand why you wouldn't like to... I'd be happy to go with you."

"You really haven't?" she asked. "I guess the ones here are different than the ones at home. There's so much stuff to remember." She wrinkled her nose at the thought. Ceremonies that went on for years and years. All that black.

"No. Nobody I know has ever died." A pause. "Where they got a funeral, I mean."

"Ah." How could she forget about that? Stupid, stupid. Maybe her brain was more scrambled than she thought. Miku squeezed his hand tightly, in an attempt to be comforting.

It was time for a subject change. "I hope they don't decide to keep me for tests."

Steve didn't mind so much, but since hand squeezing seemed to be the order of the day, he reciprocated in kind.

"I hope so too," he said. "But if you feel fine you'll be fine, right?"

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When I Wear Jet-Black [Closed to Steve]

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