trans_9 | When You're Gone [[Open]]

This was the only place he felt safe, the one place that seemed to soothe his constant migraines. His back against the tree, armour in a pile beside him, Nate felt safe here. This had been their favourite simulation, whenever they'd been able to steal an hour or so together. Their favourite place in the entire universe. Nothing had changed, the sky was just as bright, the grass as brilliantly green, and the shade beneath the tree was just as deliciously cooling as always. Yet now, now it wasn't complete. It was as if the light had gone out of this place. The simulation had always felt real before, indistinguishable from reality. But now it seemed could. Devoid of life.

He'd kept his gauntlets on. From between his hands a tiny hologram of Cassie beamed up at him, running a hand through her hair. He had thought for a moment, about asking Stacy to call her from his memories. But what would that fix? It wasn't what she would have wanted either, and to do that would have been like admitting that she was gone. It shouldn't have been this way. It didn't seem real. How could she have been gone? It still felt like, at any moment, she would walk through the Sensorium door, settle down in the grass next to him, and fall asleep, her head on his chest. How could she have been gone? One moment there, the next, snuffed out as if she'd never existed. Staring down at the hologram, his jaw clenched tight, his eyes burning as the tears brimmed up and overflowed, glittering in the simulated sunlight as they fell to the grass. Was it meant to hurt this much? He'd never felt anything like it. There was no pain that could compare to this. Not being blasted by Kang, not being hit by Teddy, not even having his throat cut. It hurt. It felt like there was a huge hole in his chest, a hole that was pulling him in until there would be nothing left.

Clenching his fists, the hologram faded away, and he pressed his hands against his forehead, choking back a sob. It wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't. They'd never asked to be here. All she'd wanted was to be home again, see her father again. Was that so much to ask? It wasn't fair. It simply wasn't fair. Not after how hard they'd fought, after how much they'd sacrificed to protect worlds that weren't their own. It wasn't fair.

Opening his hands again, the hologram faded back into being, and he stared down at it, fresh tears spilling across his face to patter against the metal of the gauntlets.

"I love you, Cassie. Always."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It seems there's not a place on this ship without pain.

Logically, he had figured out why swiftly enough -- death does that. It leaves behind a storm that stems from one single thing. Pain. Logically, he should probably keep his distance but this too is shot down by an emotional rebuttal. What good would it do, to keep oneself at arm's length from an entire team doing the same thing you are? Little more than rebuild walls and keep pain out. Little more than that.

Had he done that, there are those Renne would never have run across and as surprising as that is (it still shocks him that it's a human no less), he couldn't go back to what he was. Not entirely and not now.

I must know more life-forms. Detaching from grief is to detach from joy.

It's this thought that leads him to carefully walk to the Sensorium door and knock. On a wall, on the lintel, the door itself, whatever his paw meets first. His voice calls out once in a tone he hopes is at least something calm and even. His other arm bears a large bowl of Stacy-sludge -- had the place not been in use, he'd have cooked ot his heart's content.

But now? Perhaps he could share with someone else and maybe, provide something positive.

Old habits really do die hard.

"Hell-loww?"

There was a pause before Nate stood up, taking a last look at the panorama around him, before his holo-Cassie faded from sight, and the Sensorium powered down. Maybe whoever it was needed the place for something more urgent. Either way, it was time to go. He plans to formulate, things to prepare.

Stepping up to the door, he waited as it slid open. When he caught sight of the blue little...thing looking up at him, a bowl of Stacy's nutrient-rich sludge in its hands, he paused. Tilting his head, he simply stared at it for a long moment.

"Hello?"

"Eee. Hell-loww. Who yeu is?"

The first things out of his mouth: A greeting and a will to find out something. Chirping, the blue oddity flicks his ears back and sits on his big feet. In a time like this, the last thing anyone needs is a movement misunderstood and taken as a threat.

Having only been to the Sensoriums once before, Jenny had been looking forward to visiting them again. Though she no longer believed in violence as a form of solving problems, she did believe in being prepared, in staying in-shape. The combat simulations helped her to do just that. She enjoyed flipping about, using her surrounding and her wits to outsmart the holograms. It was like she was having her adventures again. Prepared her for the adventures she would have, with her dad.

The grin on Jenny's face dissipated as she opened the door, having walked in on what was a very upset young man. She looked down at the floor, trying not to intrude more than she already had, "I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here..."

At the sound of the girl's voice, Nate's head shot up, the hologram between his hands fading quickly. Wiping a hand across his eyes, he grabbed his armor as the simulation around them faded quickly. This was their place...he wouldn't share it with anyone. Before the field had fully faded away, he was Iron Lad again, brushing a hand through his hair, he pushed it back before speaking.

"It's alright. I was just...everyone needs some downtime now and then, right?" Yeah. Good excuse Nate. Then again, he didn't want to look like a weakling in front of the new girl. It didn't make for a very good first impression after all.

Jenny nodded, "Of course." She looked about the room, pushing the conversation forward as it was obvious the man wanted to forget about the state she had seen him in when she first arrived. "Though, I must admit, the downtime is getting to me. I'm not really used to it. I've never stayed in one place for very long. It's always been about the adventure, helping people, saving worlds...." She cut herself off, finally looking at the man, a small smile on her face, "I'm Jenny."

"I heard the news," Lex stated.

Wait... how long had he been standing there?

He didn't even start. Just kept staring at the hologram between his hands. "Yeah. Jonas killed the son of a bitch. I would've if he hadn't."

That was a conversation starter if ever there was one. Hello there Lex.

Now that was an interesting thought. Especially from a self-proclaimed 'superhero'.

"Are you sure about that? It's easy to talk a good game about killing someone, but actually going ahead and doing it..."

Now now. Nate had never said he was a superhero. He'd wanted to be. And he'd modeled himself after them. But even in his own mind, he'd yet to reach that pinnacle. At the moment, he felt much more Kang-like than he would have liked to admit.

Lifting his head, he fixed his friend with a look closing his fist over the hologram in his hand. "I would've killed him. And I wouldn't have done it quick like Jonas did either."

Lex didn't seem at all bothered by that look.

"Good," he responded. "Hold on to that feeling. It'll help you get through this."

Nate hadn't expected him to be, really. Lex never seemed affected by much.

"Not much point. The guy's dead already."

"So is your girlfriend," Lex pointed out. "And if you don't want the rest of your friends to join her, you'll need to be strong enough to look a man in the eyes while you kill him, slowly, then leave him where anyone who thinks about touching you and yours can see what's left of him."

He blanched at that. "I know what I have to do, Lex. No one's touching my friends. Or any other member of the crew. I swear. I failed Cassie. But I'm not going to fail again."

Just what he wanted to hear.

"Then go do it. Unless you want to continue to sit here and mope in solitude...?"

Shaking his head, a slight smile spread across his features as he rose, the field around them fading as he grabbed his armour. "Anyone ever tell you, you suck at the comforting thing?"

"Both my ex-wives did, in fact," he joked, placing a hand on Nate's shoulder.

"Hn. Why am I not surprised?" He slid the chesplate into place, the locks hissing and quietly clicking shut. "Thanks Lex."

Lex nodded as they headed towards the exit.

"Anytime, Nate."

When You're Gone [[Open]]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject