trans_9 | Calon Lân

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Current Location: Stacy: The Sensoriums
Current Music: "Calon Lân" ~ Clwb Cymru 2

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Calon Lân

Title: Calon Lân
Location: Stacy; The Sensoriums

"Calon lân yn llawn daioni
Tecach yw na'r lili dlos
Does ond calon lân all ganu
Canu'r dydd a chanu'r nos."

His Welsh, while more fluid and much smoother on the tongue, is still nowhere near as extensive as his English. Even so, after he'd seen Billy get a proper sleep and had eaten something, Renne finds his mind still a conflict.

He hadn't known the one that had been killed and for that, he's in a way, relieved. And yet thining this brings regret -- he's known death in many ways and no one way is easier than the next. Thus, he comes here to a Sensorium chamber to call up a strange amalgam. It blends a specific building with that of a holy site from his own native land.

Scarlet skies hang above with golden clouds and the beginnings of a spectacular sunset. A "beach" of powder-fine sand meets gentle waves of blue-black stuff that counts as water from this world. And on this beach, ringed by crystalline formations, stands a Chamber, specifically a sort of glass-like tube.

Here, he prays to gods and wizards alike.

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Alex wandered into the sensorium, bandaged and tired. For once his trusty jacket wasn't on, but was bundled with a pair of jeans and an off-white tee, all of which were covered in blood. He was wearing another pair of jeans and another tee, which were just the same as the blood-covered ones, except they weren't blood covered.

He had been intending on making a laundromat with a conveniently broken washer and dryer so that he wouldn't need any coins, just like that one that was about ten blocks from his apartment. Instead he found himself walking in on someone else's simulation. He was about to turn to leave- as beautiful and fantastic as the place was- but then he notices the summoner of the imagery. And he looks... wrong.

Alex had never seen so many shadows at once, and yet, they were different. They weren't animate shadows, and yet, they didn't quite seem like inanimate shadows either. They were missing a sort of completeness, though even that word wasn't right. Shadows always came out of a person's skin, and yet with this person, it practically was his skin.

Now that he was noticing the form of the person, he noticed he was blue with golden yellow hair, and rather horse-like. His body was only vaguely humanoid, but yet at the same time it held a sort of human presence. No, he should be thinking more along the lines that it held an intelligence. He was still growing accustomed to there being intelligent beings aside from humans, but that was more of a vocabulary change than a change of his way of thinking.

He was amazed by this person, who was made of shadows, rather than a sufferer of them. He stood, starting, and a little fearful. Not because he was different in the sense of the shape of his form, but more of because he feared what sort of creature could be made of shadows. He looks around for some sort of cover so he could watch without being seen, to examine if the person would be safe to approach.

"...Does ond calon lân all ganu
Canu'r dydd a chanu'r nos."

Within his prayer, Renne thinks of various things -- Meeting Billy. Finding out about great wizards and thanking those great wizards with all his being. To him, these wizards had been responsible, the catalysts for the turns of fate which allowed himself and those he now knows to have met. He mourns those gone, those he can mourn, from times as ancient as the Fallen Time to times as frightening as the Ides of March and up to now, with a stranger lost.

And he still feels regret for that. Regret and a form of guilt, for not overcoming his guard and simply meeting people. Knowing people, finding what shipboard duty it is he should perform.

It is at this moment he notes the smell of blood and immediately, he turns half-around. His ears give a perk-twitch and his voice is somewhere between wary, curious, calm and something that says "Defile this place and I'll wring your neck".

"Eeee?"

Alex jumped, looking absolutely terrified. He was caught. He clutched his clothes closer to him. He wanted to run but his legs didn't want to move.

No, no, no, no. You're letting the fear take over again. Stop that. He took a deep breath and offered a smile that was still a little twisted with fear. "H-hey..."

He could see how a few shadows swelled as Renne noticed him. It was more like various parts of his being became more active. How did that work?

Fear.

He knows that emotion almost too well and already accustomed to fear directed at him, the oddity backs up a little bit. He's not sure whether he'll be attacked or not -- he's expecting it, actually.

"Yeu is hurrr-ted? Noh hurrr-t Rrrr-enne?"

Odd mix of questions but that's the first thing that comes out of his mouth. A moment later, his skin flashes with a few thin stripes of colour -- Amber-touched fear/uncertainty, analytical/curious blue-fuchisa and there's still that deep blue-midnight of sadness that seems to go down too deep to measure.

He-her-it was asking if Alex was okay? He relaxed. It didn't seem like an evil creature that could only feel bad things. In fact, he noticed as the colours flashed across his skin, that there were shadows that rose with some of them. That cloud of sadness seemed to always be there, but the creature's own shadow swelled with a hint of fear as a bit of amber appeared.

Alex was amazed. This creature's body was so intricately tied with emotions that it was emotion. He smiled kindly, feeling bad for scaring it, "I-I'm fine, I-I'll be fine. I w-won't hurt you... R-Renne?" He assumed that the creature had been speaking in third person, but wasn't entirely sure. He also seemed to have a decently easy time understanding Renne. Perhaps being accustomed to his own stutter helped.

"Eee. Is Rrrr-enne. Wha-t yeu is?"

Curiosity. It has fought fear before and more often than not, it has won that battle. Like now, with the flashing stripes and patterns on his skin, the fear slowly fades. It never truly dies off but it's beaten back significantly enough to allow Curiosity full hold.

Thus, the oddity carefully crawls, sniffing his way toward the voice. Having already been kneeling in his prayer, there's no need ot stand up and walk such a short distance.

It was hard to see the vaguely humanoid shape as Renne crawled, but that really didn't bother Alex too much. He walks closer to Renne and sits, to be more comfortable, and also to allow Alice an easier chance to explore.

At least the fear drops away, back into the sort of internal mess of emotions that seemed to be shifting on top of Renne's colour-changing skin. It was odd- almost dizzying- to look at.

"A-Alex. An' th-this is A-Alice. Sh-she's a r-rat from m-my world." He let Alice climb down his arm and out onto his palm, from which she stretched towards Renne to sniff. For Alex this was a very reassuring sign. He was confident she wouldn't do this around anyone with any sort of bad intent.

"Ow-icks, Ow-iss. Hell-loww."

Chirp. He knows what a rat is -- sort of. Ships of his age had 'em constantly. Ship-rats, they'd been called. Ears flicking forward, the oddity's head leans downward. Yes, Alex. He's sniffing at you and then, he's nose-to...er...well, nose-to-body with the rat.

Sniff. Sniff.

Alex was a little surprised at the sniff and jumped a bit, but then laughed at himself. Alice on the other hand immediately turned and began licking at Renne's nose, sniffing at him herself.

"Sh-she likes you. Sh-she only likes g-good people."

"Eee?"

That gets a faint blush on his face and no, he's not ashamed or above giving the rat a little lick right back. The thought of him being....innately 'good' though, that's been a strange thought for years now. It's a thought he hasn't believed in for a while.

"Rrrr-enne be ohn-lee Rrrr-enne."

Alice was unstopped in her grooming by the lick. She continued licking him more than clean.

"W-well," Alex said with a smile, "R-Renne is good! Good is Renne." Alice's actions towards him were more than enough to convince him of this.

There's a joke in there somewhere, what with the rat grooming Renne's face and the Renne sniff-licking curiously at her.

"Haow...? Heee. Ow-iss, hee."

He really is puzzled -- that underlay of guilt and shadow never leave him. It bears old guilt, very old. And very, very old with very new and un-mended pain.

Alex laughed happily, watching Alice and Renne becoming fast friends. "It's b-because you w-want ta do g-good for others. R-right? Y-you c-care about o-others. W-wanting that is all ya need ta be g-good."

Alex sort of wanted to eat the strange shadow, but was afraid of what that might do to the creature.

That...causes him to back up a little and a shadow to pass across his useless eyes. A flash of old/new guilt races across his skin.

"Noh ahl-ways."

Alex lowers his arm and lets Alice crawl over to Renne to investigate her new friend. Alex tilted his head to the side a bit, looking a little concerned- not about Renne, but rather for Renne.

"W-well, we a-all sometimes s-slip up..." He smiled, "S-sometimes, b-but we c-can't k-keep beating ourselves up over the t-times we m-mess up."

That almost earns a sigh out of him. A moment later, his ears flop downward in a position that denotes a heaviness on his shoulders he has yet to be rid of. Absently, a webbed paw finds Alice and offers a gentle skritch.

"It be morrrre tha-n tha-t."

Alice leans into the skritching, making a quiet buzzing noise. Alex's smile faded a bit, "B-but you're upset about it n-now. I c-can tell. Whatever you did, you wish y-you didn't, r-right? Ya feel guilty. That... that also makes a person g-good."

"Noh...Rrrr-enne noh rrre-mem-berrr do it at ahll."

Strange thing -- to not remember doing something at all and yet all evidence points at you.

Alex laughed. Not remembering things was something he was used to. "M-maybe it's not somethin' you wanna remember. Makes me m-more sure you're a good guy. E-even if it wasn' somethin' g-good, that ya won' let yourself remember it, then it means it was somethin' you didn' wanna do."

"Eee..."

That earns a hesitant chirp. True, he hadn't exactly wanted to slowly be driven insane but it still had occurred. Yet he still hesitates speaking of that dark time -- a time that still haunts like a ghost hanging over him merely inches away.

"Yeu noh kno-w wha-t Rrrr-enne do."

Alex could see the shadow rising in Renne. He shook his head, "N-no, I don' know, but I c-can tell you th-that I don' think you c-coulda done anything with a-any bad intent. It doesn' matter what you did, y-you're honestly s-sorry for it."

Alex really would be shocked if he heard what Renne had done, but it wouldn't change what he was thinking.

He can't think of a reply to that, honestly. Haunted, Renne seems to fall into the reverie of that time. Inside, part of him relives it like a flashback.

Unfortunately, or fortunately however one sees it, these flashbacks find their way "out" and into the open in brief, snapshot-like mirages visible to the naked eye.

The Browning was left on the counter with a note...

"He's...gone. Not coming back, Renne."

Letters flutter to the sea, once every night. Words spoken and wept in the night until he cried himself to sleep..

...Dreams...a man shambling out of the sea long-dead. "You're aman now. Take it like one." The thunderstorm. A gunshot...

Alex was surprised to see both the hologram-like images, as well as the rising tier iv shadow. He scuttled backwards, fearfully, expecting attack, but none came. The shadows of Renne acted rather unlike the shadows of normal people. They did not seem to truly try to pull away, to reach out and attempt to attack, or anything. He could still feel its awareness focused at him, but it seemed to feel safe in how secure it was to its host.

Realizing he wasn't in danger, he relaxed, seeing Renne sending letters to the sea, seeing him cry himself to sleep. He jumped at the sound of the gunshot, but then moved closer to Renne, putting his hand on Renne's webbed one. Just because he didn't entirely understand the images didn't mean that he couldn't understand the creature's pain. And it seemed that with Renne, unlike with Billy, or anyone else he knew of on board, he could approach him and share a gentle touch to help to console him.

Even Alice was upset by this, retreating to Alex, who she could tell was feeling upset for their new blue friend.

"Rrrr-enne do ba-d thing."

It's all he could say, honestly. The courts had examined evidence and deemed him guilty. He'd not contested that, even now, he doesn't contest it. But there's a deep sense of confusion, questions left unanswered.

By now, Billy has started to slowly improve. He's now able to perform his normal tasks with...not a smile, but a neutral expression. The tears are largely out of his system for now.

But when he gets a break in the work, he pokes his nose into a Sensorium as usual. Immediately sensing his brother's presence, both by the warming in his head and the faint familiarity of the surroundings, he quietly walks the sands.

When he comes across his friend locked in prayer, he sits quietly, reflections of his own running through his head.

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Calon Lân

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