trans_9 | Swords for Hunters. [Open] (Warning for language because Hunters)

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Swords for Hunters. [Open] (Warning for language because Hunters)

Training was coming along. Also the house they were living in, but it still needed more repairs. That Xander guy was a big help, even if Dean didn't care for how the guy would sometimes stare at his brother too long. It was weird, and he'd be apologetic about it as he'd get back to work. But it's weird. All the one eyed guy would say would be how he knew the other Sam and they worked together against the Yeerk. The very idea of his brother being possessed again by something evil... that was worse, and reminded him too much of the possible futures he kept hearing or seeing. Sam saying yes. Like he was always going to bend over to Lucifer for one reason or another. And Dean had to allow it. Just sit back like some useless bitch while everything falls. Well hell with that, hell with the damn future for that matter. He hoped Adam was in the pods perhaps, and maybe his old man. At very least Mikey can't have them take his place.

Or you can accept your destiny, Dean.

Crap, he could do without the background commentary. He needed a drink or something to fight. He was half hoping Vader would show up somewhere so he could go kick his Sith ass. Be better than contemplating how much his future will suck if they get their world back. Eh, screw it, he needed to practice or something. He checked the time. Hunter class was yesterday, so he was free and clear there. He hated using the Sensoriums but it did work for training purposes. Like the hunting sim he rigged up a few times.

Now, time for something different. Cas was probably poking around the hydroponics. As long as he was just growing herbs and weed and not trying to partake anything narcotic, it seemed like a good idea. Gave him something else to do. Just like what Dean was doing. Keep moving, keep busy. Fight and bury the thoughts down in the hole.

Today's practice didn't involve a gun though. It involved a longsword. His old man gave them some pointers about bladed weapons, and an overview just in case. But most of their battles involved guns and bigger weapons. Still, better to be diverse as possible.

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Dean sucked in a breath, and he stepped in to lay a shaky hand toward the hem of the shirt. He wasn't used to seeing this much of Cas, but right now.

"Jesus, Cas, did I?" Wait, it's not bleeding, it's scar tissue. He reached out to lift the shirt higher as he recognized what the scars represented.

"...Cas? Mind telling me what this sigil is doing on your FREAKING chest?"

Cas looked away, having trouble for some reason meeting Dean's gaze. "I told you Dean," he started. "When we went to rescue Adam. The green room was being guarded by four angels, and there was just one of me ... and my powers were failing. And these weren't some low level flunkies either, these were some powerful seraphim. I had to get rid of them somehow, so you and Sam could get to Adam ..." He trailed off, licking his lips as he didn't mention the other part, how he hadn't exactly expected to survive it.

His hand ran lightly over the scarred tissue.

"But Cas, this... I mean, it banishes angels so what you banished them and yourself? Can you even do that? I mean, how the hell does it even work like this?"

"Yes." Cas' voice rasped. He shivered slightly at Dean's touch. "Yes I banished them and myself too." A pause. "... I think I used up the last of my power not being killed by the spell."

He was determinedly still not looking at Dean.

Dean's hand moved slowly, tracing the symbols before his hand stopped where it was.

"..............WHAT?! You mean this almost killed you? What the fuck, Cas?!?"

Cas started to turn away, causing Dean's fingers to slide across his skin as he moved. "I told you-" he was still determinedly looking anywhere but Dean.

"I don't want to talk about it."

He hissed at that, and grabbed for Cas's arm.

"Dammit Cas, don't shut me out here! You just happen to mention you were on a suicide mission, and you don't want to talk about it?"

Cas finally turned back, glaring at Dean. "I already told you," he snapped. "I already told you about how I thought you had given up and without you, I-"

Cas clamped his mouth shut and shook his head. "Let go of my arm, Dean."

"So I gave up, and you thought that gave you the go ahead to give up too?"

Dean shook his head, and kept his hand clamped on his arm.

Cas glared and shook his arm, trying to get it out of Dean's grip, but after a moment he gave up again. "There was no point," he hissed. "If you said yes to Michael, you would have destroyed everything we fought for. You would have brought down the apocalypse and ... everyone we were trying to save, you were going to just thrown it away. You were going to thrown me away-"

Cas slammed his mouth shut and turned away from Dean again, glaring off into space.

Dean stared back at him in shock, "I wouldn't do that. I don't leave people behind." Except when he was sacrificing himself for others.

"I...look, maybe I thought it was the only option left. I mean just so not everybody had to die? And I would made sure you guys were protected. I mean Michael could have restored your Grace right?"

Cas glared. "Like you think getting my grace restored makes up for anything?" he snapped. "If having my Grace was so important to me, I never would have disobeyed in the first place."

"Cas, Mikey would never get my sweet ass without me making sure you guys were safe. And I know how much you've been hurting without it. If there was some way I could make it up to you for it, I would."

Cas grimaced at Dean's last words, looking away again. "Yeah, well ... some things can't be made up for. Sometimes you just have to accept things the way they are."

It wasn't clear if he was talking to Dean, or to himself.

Dean moved his hand up to the former angel's shoulder.

"Cas, if somebody could give you the choice, angel or human. Which would you pick? Seriously."

Cas continued to determinedly look away. "There's ... no point, Dean," he said, his voice a gravely rasp. "I'm not like Anna, I didn't remove my Grace, I used it all up. I can't just find it somewhere and re-invest myself. The only way I could ever become an angel again is if my Father restored my Grace, and that's not going to happen."

Yes, he was avoiding your question, Dean.

"Well your dad saved you once before, right? Maybe he would bring it back and then you could..." Go back to heaven and lose himself. All those emotions gone again, and he'd be left behind. Again. And Dean didn't want that either but he also hated seeing his friend hurting so.

Dean sighed but didn't draw his hand away yet.

"Ah, it's a stupid question right?"

Cas looked over at Dean, and then ducked his head, trying to hide a small smile. "I wouldn't expect different from you," he teased.

Dean noticed it and gave a small smile back. His hand also squeezed his shoulder a little.

"Worry about you, you know? You just seemed really lost lately."

Cas leaned ever so slightly into the touch. Okay, maybe he leaned into it a noticeable amount. Maybe.

Hey eyed Dean. "I am- I was an angel of the lord, Dean, and now I'm trying to be a cook of all things. It's- ... an adjustment."

Dean was surprised by that, but didn't pull his hand away still. He squeezed it a few more times, or maybe it was an almost caress without him being that aware of it.

"You're still a warrior, Cas. We got drafted because we're fighters. Supposed to take out the Ohm too."

"Mm." Cas sighed, letting his eyes slide halfway shut. Dean's hand on his shoulder was surprisingly relaxing. "I know," he said, as he looked down at the ground in front of them. He sighed and brought a hand up to rub his face. "I know ..."

It was turning into a massage of sorts, even though Dean was still focused on Cas's face. He stepped closer to him, and remarked, "So you don't have to leave it all behind. Just got bigger uglies to go up against."

Even though he could remember how the Ohm shredded some of the angels and the demons, flashes of white light and fire sparking out like brief fireworks. And how much worse it was for the humans.

Cas' eyes opened back up, and he looked up at Dean's face. "As long as you don't leave," he said. "Not by saying yes, or by anything else ..."

Now Dean was glancing away.

"Really trying not to, man. But this rings idea and Sammy..." He can't let his brother go down there. Not at all, or not alone.

...What if they send them both in? Neither brothers would be alone then. He was surprised at the thought, but it was a possibility.

Swords for Hunters. [Open] (Warning for language because Hunters)

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