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trans_92010-07-12 01:33 pm
celery-brooch.livejournal.com) wrote in trans_92010-07-12 01:33 pm
Entry tags:
Spoilers, Doctor... [Closed]
There was a far overdue meeting in order.
Luckily for the Doctor it seemed that the Observation Deck was relatively empty at this time, for there were multiple practices and other such matters that the rest of the crew was attending to. Not that he wouldn’t have enjoyed the company during his wait, or at all; on a good day he might overhear a fair number of personal stories, fascinating snippets of crewmembers’ lives that could be rearranged and put together to form an elaborate collage of relationships and talents, all useful, all at least mildly intriguing and worth the memory that they used. But then again, these quiet reprieves could be harnessed to create these woven fabrics and potential strategies—and there was always the anticipation of getting to know a bit about his own future.
This was what happened to be going through the Doctor’s mind as he paced about the back wall, peering expectantly through the giant windows and staring into the Void as if he pondered jumping in himself. For several ponderous moments he leaned sharply forward, hands clasped behind his back, hovering in front of the clear membrane; then his nose pressed against it, he blinked at the curious texture and abruptly straightened, spinning on his heel to investigate something else slightly more responsive. Ooh—like that interesting little device that someone from Engineering must’ve left behind! Perhaps we’ll know what it does if we give it a good poke!...
Luckily for the Doctor it seemed that the Observation Deck was relatively empty at this time, for there were multiple practices and other such matters that the rest of the crew was attending to. Not that he wouldn’t have enjoyed the company during his wait, or at all; on a good day he might overhear a fair number of personal stories, fascinating snippets of crewmembers’ lives that could be rearranged and put together to form an elaborate collage of relationships and talents, all useful, all at least mildly intriguing and worth the memory that they used. But then again, these quiet reprieves could be harnessed to create these woven fabrics and potential strategies—and there was always the anticipation of getting to know a bit about his own future.
This was what happened to be going through the Doctor’s mind as he paced about the back wall, peering expectantly through the giant windows and staring into the Void as if he pondered jumping in himself. For several ponderous moments he leaned sharply forward, hands clasped behind his back, hovering in front of the clear membrane; then his nose pressed against it, he blinked at the curious texture and abruptly straightened, spinning on his heel to investigate something else slightly more responsive. Ooh—like that interesting little device that someone from Engineering must’ve left behind! Perhaps we’ll know what it does if we give it a good poke!...
no subject
Jenny nodded, a thoughtful look on her face, "I want to know. Not so much the science of it all... but you're like him. Like my dad. Or, you are him, I guess. A younger version, an earlier version who doesn't know about me, and..." The words started to tumble out of her mouth, "Do you die every time you change? ...Does it hurt? Or do you just choose to change? Do all the different versions of you just walk about, all at once? What about your memories? I mean, you didn't know who I was..." Oh, look. The rambling again. "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to figure out who..." he was going to be in her life, "...you are."
no subject
He held up a hand in a gesture of patience, smiling as he gathered his thoughts. The Doctor would not be like his professors. “—Alright, alright. I suppose I’ll go in order then.
“Yes. Well, in a way—the old me, that personality, still stays in the back someplace. But it…feels like dying. I walk away a completely different individual. Which ties in nicely with the next question—
“—Only sometimes and not in my case. Regeneration is a conscious choice, and a Time Lord does have the capability to hold back a regeneration or even cancel it completely. I only regenerate out of necessity, like it was meant to be used, because it is a rather…disturbing process if you think about it.
“Not usually, and if they are then that means something very bad is happening. There are laws to prevent that sort of thing you know.
“I keep all of my memories from previous incarnations, unless something traumatic were to happen during or after to cause post-regenerative amnesia, but that usually wears off. As for memories of meeting myself, the same laws that keep us from running into one another also help to temporarily repress memories gained by the younger incarnations involved. The Time Lords, of course, are the ones that moderate these things.”
Which raised an interesting point: if the Time Lords were so strict about paradoxes, then why didn’t they intervene when he and—well, himself—merged their two TARDISes and almost destroyed a section of reality the size of Belgium? Why hadn’t they at least stabilized the time differential so that he didn’t age unnecessarily? And how could they have allowed for him to keep his memories of the ordeal for so long that his older self remembered how to fix the issue in the end? It was—almost as if the Time Lords didn’t know that happened at all. Like they’d somehow managed to pop out of their extensive jurisdiction, but he’d seen where they were on the navigational display, they were still in the normal space…how did…?
The Doctor shook his head. Spoilers. “I’m…part of the Doctor that you know. I’m not him, specifically, but I will be.”
no subject
Jenny's smile quickly disappeared when Five explained that regeneration felt like dying, that afterward he became a completely different person. So her dad...he was going to die? He was going to have to experience death, like she had? And then he wasn't going to be himself anymore. What if he didn't feel the same way about her? ...What if they lost each other again?
"So what if my dad...what if he doesn't want to change? What if he ignores...necessity? How long can he stay like he is now?" How long can he look like her dad? Can he talk like him, act like him?
"But those laws aren't working, right? You're the only Time Lord left. So...are all of you, all of the Doctors, going to show up here? And will that cause something horrible to happen, like... I don't know, the universe to explode?"
And there Jenny was blurting out what she really wanted to ask, what she'd wanted to know the answer to from the moment she understood who this man was, "So...what are we? How are we connected?"
no subject
At least the first part was understandable enough. “That depends on the reasons for regeneration,” the Doctor glanced at the ceiling, mentally coming up with different scenarios for comparison, ticking them off on his fingers, “It can be…delayed, for a time, perhaps a few minutes or hours or, in extreme cases, maybe even days. Of course I would be running the risk of being overwhelmed by regenerative energy, which…” The Doctor pondered, not actually sure what would happen. He’d never experienced that sort of thing, neither personally or from a distance, mostly because your normal Time Lord wouldn’t be crazy enough to try and hold back such an unstable process. “…Would most certainly end badly. But it could be done.”
Now, for the gibberish. The Doctor quirked an eyebrow and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Well…Yes, I suppose I am, now. Unless another one wakes up.” What an odd thing to say—‘the last Time Lord’—had they finally broken up into separate Gallifreyan factions by the time Jenny’s Doctor was around? Were they no longer capable of time travel and manipulation? He assumed that she was attempting to refer to how their universe was, well, no longer existent, but with somewhat improper terminology that the Doctor didn’t feel it was necessary to correct. “But if the rest of me wake up, then we are rather out of the Time Lord’s normal jurisdiction—and considering that two of me are currently occupying the same relative space and time, along with inhabitants of several hundred—thousand—perhaps million worlds, one comes to the conclusion that the same rules and paradoxes that dictate how our universe works do not dictate how Stacy works.”
The tl;dr version of that answer wasn’t revealed, but in essence, it was a fairly definitive ‘no’.
He seemed flustered—and indeed the Doctor was. A different incarnation probably wouldn’t last this long. “—Well, like I said, I’m not precisely the Doctor that you’re familiar with, but I’m still part of him. Therefore, my DNA is, in fact, contained within his—and was thereafter used to make you. Now while some of my genes might not have been expressed as overtly as some others—“
A pause as the Doctor met her eyes and an appreciative smile disrupted the undercurrent of irritation previously lacing his voice.
“—Though I must admit, you do bear an uncanny resemblance—I am, no matter how remotely, your father. If all thirteen regenerations of me were here, they also would all be your father.”
The Doctor bit his lip again, instinctively reaching for a compromise. “—Of course you don’t have to refer to us as such if you’d rather not. I can see how it might get confusing.”
no subject
Five thought Jenny was speaking gibberish and, quite frankly, she thought the same of him. She raised her eyebrows at him, "What kind of Time Lord jurisdiction can there possibly be? You, my dad, whatever other versions of you appear---you're the only Time Lords left. Don't you just, sort of, make your own jurisdiction? Don't you make the rules?" It had certainly seemed that way on Messaline. The only rules her dad seemed to follow there were his own, based on his own moral code, his own particular way of living.
Jenny's hearts pounded as Five spoke of their relationship to one another, how, as he was a part of her dad, he was a part of her as well. But it was obvious to her that he didn't want to pressure her into anything, didn't want to make her feel as if they had to consider each other related in any way. She spoke softly, "I only got to know my dad for a day. I was born in the middle of a war and, my dad being the man he is, he wanted to end it. He was so confusing to me at times. I was born to be a fighter, to use violence, and he detested it so much... I learned a lot from him. How to solve my problems without hurting anyone, just using my mind..." She paused, "My dad did end the war, though our General wasn't particularly happy about it. He tried to kill my dad, tried to shoot him... And I stepped in front of the bullet. He didn't know that I was going to come back to life... I didn't know..."
Jenny looked into Five's eyes now, "Stacy has given me the chance to know my dad. And now she's given me the chance to know you, too. And I want to. I want you to be a part of our family."
no subject
The Doctor squinted at her. Just for a moment he opened his mouth, ready to question—then he thought better of it and abruptly changed track. These were dangerous waters in which he was treading, learning about future events that were, by all means, pertinent to his continuing survival (most events were regardless), but what was his business in what his future incarnations had to deal with? Five wouldn't tell any of his younger selves about important events in his current lifetime, and even then, it was like...cheating. Only cheating with Time means dealing with an unforgiving time vortex that has a way of getting back at those that wrong it.
So instead he smiled and dodged a glance at the giant windows behind Jenny's head. “Er—yes. Yes I suppose I do, in a manner of speaking. Sometimes it surprises me how well I manage to get away with that.”
He paused. New information was steadily absorbed and the Doctor found himself biting his lip, looking and feeling quite concerned yet bizarrely enlightened. Ten hadn't exactly gone into detail about Jenny's origins, other than she was made via progenation machine, so this was good to know. Good but...troubling. No wonder she was so attached to him. In that sort of a situation, imprinted with that sole mindset that everyone not labeled as a friendly was out to kill you, that everyone you were around was bound to die within your short life...he must've been the only one to show her any compassion.
After a while the Doctor sighed. Slowly he extended a hand to place on Jenny's shoulder. “I do, too. And I get the impression that we'll have plenty of time to establish this.”
Whether or not that was a good thing depended greatly on perspective and one's ultimate goal upon the meatship, but you get the idea.