trans_9 | Timebended like a Timebender- So, here is my story... [Closed]

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Timebended like a Timebender- So, here is my story... [Closed]

Nanashi turned, abandoning the food on the table, and began to walk out of the mess hall. She held her head high, and managed to banish the look of pain in her eyes for the most part as she made her way through the living area to the crew quarters. What gave away her continued distress was that she walked just slow enough so that Katara could keep up without breaking into a jog.

The whole way the pair was silent. Nanashi was trying to figure out how to tell her story the most gently.

When they arrived Nanashi still was not sure how she would even begin. Nanashi unlocked and opened the door so fast that it looked like she didn't move. She motioned Katara into the room, and then closed the door behind them and locked it. It seemed one moment she was by the door, and then she was sitting on he bed, with little more than a blur between.

That was she speed at which she usually moved, and now that it was only her and Katara she need not be either polite nor careful to mimic the humans this ship was filled with.

"I suppose," Her voice cracked and she cleared it, "I suppose I should start from the beginning."

Though he said nothing, she had a sense that Kano was there in his mind smiling at her discomfort.

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Katara knew a delicate situation when it was staring her in the face. She had not ignored the look on Nanashi's face, nor had she forgotten what it was that Nanashi was. It was one thing to be a person with a past that haunted you, but to have that happen and be what Nanashi was, Katara was sure it was bound to bring some very painful realities to a head. When Nanashi made double time to get to her room, Katara kept up with her. She could have told the woman that her speed was not an issue, but for now that wasn't something on the top of her list.

When they arrived at Nanashi's room, Katara took an inward breath. She had an idea that some people might assume, considering the situation, that this was a bad idea. Sokka's warnings were screaming in her head to get out, that this girl could attack her at any time. She stilled those thoughts, watching as Nanashi's true speed came to head: it was much more like the speed a Bene Gesserit warrior could move, but a bit faster. She figured that she hid that speed for a reason.

She could see that whatever Nanashi was going to say was causing her trouble to talk about. It was a secret, one that plagued her even now. Katara closed her eyes again, readying herself for what was to come. A story, especially one where nit nice things happened to you, was a lot like peering down a dark well in the past: you had an idea of what was coming, but you didn't know the extent of the fall, or what could happen.

"Please do," she said softly.

Nanashi took a deep and uneasy breath. What was she doing telling a child such a dark story?
No, she had decided to tell her, and she would. She spoke, keeeping her eyes on the ground beneath her bare feet, "I do not trust people. I never had. If I told you the story of my upbringing, you would understand why, but that is another story. This story began about two hundred years ago.
"I am a military leader. My country has been nearly at war for many human generations. As such, I have other strategists, other military leaders that are skilled at what they do. The most skilled strategist was a vampire named Kano." She paused and shuddered, trying to suppress emotions she usually kept so skilfully hidden. "Kano was charming, strong, polite, amazingly smart, a perfect gentleman until we got on the battle field. He was the perfect person to have second in command, and the perfect person to be my king." A slight bitter-sweet smile came to her lips as she spoke, remembering the good times she had with him.

"And our love was like no other love. It was insane, and wild, and broke every rule of society, but it was fine. I was the insane queen who had the wild temper. No one was surprised.
"And while I was the one to take things slow, to wait and plot out my strategy on the battlefield, he was not one to wait, he was for action now. And off the battle field he was clam, giving my quick temper an anchor. And I came to trust him utterly and completely. I trusted him so deeply, I even allowed him into my bed chambers. You see, I have always been a-" she paused, trying to think of a nice way to put it, "free lover. As a vampire, we have no disease, and we have the ability to decide when we wish to become pregnant, so there is no harm in enjoying the flesh. But never before had I done so out of love, and never before had I let anyone into my bed chamber. We went on like this for several years- just over one hundred years. Then he, well he broke the rules again, by being the one to offer me his blood." That same bitter-sweet smile came back, but this time tears came too, and she could not speak through them. She lowered her face into her hands, keeping her elbows rested on her thighs.

It was odd to see the creature that seemed to walk with an aura of confidence, of power, crying like this. She hated it. Kano loved it, laughing inside her head. "Pathetic woman. You are too soft. Far too soft. You should be more like your mother, who married for convenience and politics! To think you of all the jaded people in the world, you would fall in love, and let yourself succumb to it as well! You deserve this pain.

Katara listened to the beginnings of the story, playing close attention to the vocal cues and the way Nanashi responded in the body. She did this because it had a way of making her understand some things that even just talking about the situations wouldn't tell. To really understand this story however, Katara had to imagine Nanashi with Zuko's upbringing: royalty, after all, had a different life to begin with, let alone royalty that was also vampires. For one thing, the idea of being a free lover was one Katara had to adjust in her mind to begin with: in her tribe, you had arranged marriages, although that wasn't something that Katara was really wild about either. But she could see that this Kano had been to her what Aang was in her eyes: something she had sadly not been able to live out until right after the war.

And she knew somehow that Kano was not the person she thought he was: what else would have spurred Nanashi to say what she'd said about love and taking advantage. Katara said nothing, but just offered her hand. This was one of those moments that would require her to just listen, not mar the moment with words and assurances.

Nanashi held Katara's hand, then screamed. She did not want to hear Kano's cruel words in her mind. She wanted to drown him out. Still, she kept her unexplained scream short, not wanting to really hurt Katara's ears. Besides, after screaming, she felt much calmer and was able to continue on.

"I am sorry." She dropped Katara's hand and walked to the wall. She felt rather restless, but she did not want to dizzy Katara by pacing back and forth, since she knew she would be walking very fast. Leaning against the wall she sighed and went on, "You see, in my country, it does not normally matter if the male or female offers their blood- that is the equivalent to getting engaged for vampires. What usually dictates who does the offering is based on rank or class. The one who is higher classed does the offering. So Kano offering his blood to me, and even more so- my acceptance- made quite the scandal."

She pushed herself off the wall without really thinking and began to pace slowly. "But I did not care. My heart had been melted. I trusted him completely, and I loved him completely. I thought he loved me the same. "The exchange of blood between vampires is as sacred to us as sex is to humans, to put it in perspective for you, Katara. I know the idea must be strange, but imagine, we were married. We exchanged blood twice- once when we got engaged, and again when we married. We were only engaged for nine years. For vampires, the engagement period is a period where you make sure you can live with that person for the rest of your long lives, and most believed that nine years was too short. Maybe it was."

She shook her head and sat back down on the bed, letting her head hang, "We were married for another forty. I thought it was perfect. It was like a fairy tale, a princess who had been abused by her parents had her heart softened by a magically perfect prince. I was a fool to believe it."

She stood back up. She did not want to be near Katara for this part of the story. Her face hardened and her upper lip twitched as she tried to keep from growling, or getting angry enough to let the blood enter her voice. "Then, then I woke up one morning with a stake in my heart. I have heard that a stake in the heart kills some vampires in the universe, but it only paralyses the vampires of my world. I got to watch helplessly as he smuggled me out of the castle, then travelled for some time. I was terrified. Unable to move to save myself, and knowing the whole time that it was Kano- the one I thought I could trust. It took three hours for him to meet up with the people, and the whole time he watched me with a wicked smile."

"Then I saw several humans arrive. They exchanged money. They counted it out in front of me. It was only enough to buy a cheap house in the slums. I was sold away. I was sold away by Kano. The only person I ever trusted. Sold. Me. For next to nothing." She turned to the wall and punched it. Hard. And she punched it again, and left her fist against the wall. She was so absorbed that she did not realise that the wall did not break. Stacy could take more than that, fortunately. She just let herself fall against the wall so that she was leaning on her shoulder, facing to the side.

She suddenly began shaking ever so slightly, holding herself. She was about to talk about the worst time in her life. "The Humans took me back... I do not know exactly where. It was some place by a river. And they tortured me. They cut me open over and over, they took out my organs and let them grow back. They put me in the sun and dragged me back inside. And I could not even ask them why or scream. I over heard them talking, and I eventually realized they were doing this for fun. I at least expected revenge, or something. But no, I was being kept by a bunch of nobles who just wanted to have some fun. They disgraced me completely. After a few days of this, one of them decided it would be fun to hear me talk, to hear me curse them, to hear me scream in pain, and so they bound my hands and removed the stake in my heart. Unfortunately for them," Nanashi looked up and rolled so her back was against the wall. Her mind was clearly far away.

"Unfortunately for them, I am not easily held by normal bonds. I easily broke the iron that they had used to tie my hands. And then I killed them. I did not even drink their blood." The look on her face was terrifying. It was twisted and cruel, so unlike her usual regal appearance. "I ripped them apart. Limb from limb." Blood was creeping into her voice, making it guttural. It was what happened when a vampire from her world became angry. It was a lot like how humans tried to make themselves bigger, or louder. Nanashi unfortunately did not think to explain this.

Katara was not quite sure what she was expecting as Nanashi told her story, but it was certainly nothing like this. When she heard about the torturing humans, the first place her mind went was the dreams of the Nightmare King: of what would have happened if she had never met Aang. She knew that the world would have been taken by the Fire Nation then, and they would not have been much nicer than what those people had done. But what was the worse thing to her was Kano. The scream had scared her a moment, but now? Now she could see why Nanashi was so angry, so in pain. It was someone she loved, someone she cared about so much she had even shared blood. She may not have been a vampire, but she understood symbols and loyalty well enough, and she could see that the pain that Nanashi felt at the betrayal was far worse than the torture or the laughing. The killing wasn't something she was sure she approved of, but that was because she knew that in Nanashi's situation, she might feel like doing the same thing. It was a scary thought, but she wasn't ignorant to the sort of things that people could do to each other. Maybe she wouldn't have ripped anyone limb from limb, but she would have gotten revenge somehow.

"That's horrible," she finally said. "People can be cruel to each other, sometimes for the worse reasons. I can't imagine what you've been through: I'm not a vampire, and I was never born into royalty. In fact, in my world I was suppressed and my tribe deprived of its benders...I lost my mother for that reason. She died protecting me."

Her voice got a little quiet, mentioning her. She may have gotten over it but it never made things easier. "But it isn't right, and it never will be. Kano is a horrible, horrible person to do that to you. He waited and took everything you gave him, all your love and your pain and used it to make you weak. That's the worse kind of betrayal I've ever known. If I were you, I might want to get revenge on him. I know I shouldn't say things like that, because its an imbalance, but some people...some shouldn't be allowed to stay in the world working to destroy it. Life is sacred, and the people in it striving to make something out of what they have. Someone who ruins everything they touch because they can shouldn't have the right. It's wrong."

Harsh words, but words that meant something. Katara knew she wasn't the Avatar: she didn't have his power, and though she wished she could stop someone who did things like Kano did, she knew she could not.

But she could try helping those he hurt.

Katara linked hands with Nanashi. "I understand you're hurt. I would be too. But that scream made me see that Kano is still a part of you, even now. That's how he wins, your majesty. He lives in your memory, laughing at you, judging you. Don't let him. I won't say that this place will be greatly different, I'm still learning about people. But I will tell you there are some people here that won't betray you, that want nothing but to spend time with you and laugh with you because they care about you."

She wiped her eyes here, if only because Nanashi's story was pretty hard to take in, and she felt very bad for her vampire friend.

Nanashi was clearly surprised as the girl spoke. The girl wasn't running screaming from the room. The first thing Nanashi expected was trickery. Maybe if she heard the rest of the story, she would not be so calm. Nanashi growled slightly, and moved even faster than she did before up to Katara so that her face-still twisted in anger- was nearly touching Katara's. From this distance even a human could smell the faint smell of blood that lingered on her. The blood still in her voice she growled, "You don't understand. You do not know the full story yet! I took revenge. I took a terrible revenge!" Her gleaming fangs flashed with every word she spoke.

Nanashi had always been known for her skill with dramatics, but it was much different, much more intense when she really meant it. She pulled back from Katara, frightened for a moment. While so close to Katara, and so angry, she had wanted to bite her. But Katara- even if Nanashi had decided to allow her to fight- was still a child. She roared again, and leaned against the wall, holding her forehead with one hand.

Kano was delighted to hear her so upset,"Yes, let her hear your anger, let her hear the blood in your voice, show her the monster you are."

Rather than anger her more, Kano made her realise she was letting herself go. She took a deep breath and looked to Katara, "I am sorry. Vampires- our voices get like that when we get honestly upset or angry. Do not be afraid of it." Her eyes said that she felt guilty for trying to scare her. She was a child still, she showed no other evidence of trickery, so it was very possible she was honest. Maybe she saw much pain and cruelty in her world. When Nanashi had adopted children like that, they were never afraid of her even though they knew of all the horrors she had committed, because they knew she would never harm them. Perhaps this girl was like that, had faith that Nanashi would no harm her.

Nanashi went on before Katara could answer. She felt that if she paused now that she would not have the heart to finish. "After I destroyed those men, I returned to my kingdom, to find that Kano had taken the throne, saying that I had taken my own life. I stormed into the city, into the castle, tossing any one aside who thought I might be a fake. My parents had not cared enough to even name me, but Kano, Kano betrayed me right out. I stormed into court, with him all in black, looking most sombre. Until he saw me. He did not expect me to escape the humans. The whole court was assembled, all in mourning, with an urn on display that was supposed to be holding my ashes.

"I walked among all of them as they stood shocked, straight up to the urn, and shattered it on the ground at Kano's mortified feet. In front of the whole crowd, I was on him, my hands around his neck. Vampires have no need for breathing beyond speaking, but I crushed his spine, and felt it trying to heal itself under my fingers. I threw him across the room, against the wall, screaming 'Why?'. I heard his skill crack. I dragged him back into the centre of the horrified court, and I sat on top of him and beat him. I do not know how long I sat there punching him with the whole court watching. I at one point even ripped his jaw from his head. He struggled the whole time, but he had never been a strong vampire."

She had developed that far off look again as she talked. Now she slumped to the ground. Her voice had completely lost the guttural sound lent to it by the blood in her throat, instead it was far off and mournful. "I crushed his spine, his ribs, his skull, and while he was still healing, I went and broke the throne I had ordered made for him. I took a splintered piece of wood from it and I plunged it into his heart. I drank from him one last time, though I allowed him none of my blood. Doing such a thing- I may as well have raped him in front of all those people. I stood up, walked to one of the lamps that lit the room and I broke it over his body."

She pulled her cloak around her tighter and buried her face in her hands as she continued, "I took this cloak back from him as his body caught the flames, and I got back on my throne and watched calmly as he burned. The whole court understood he had betrayed me. They could see that my skin was still burned, that I had been through something, but they were stunned to silence. They had thought I was terrifying and insane before this. No, they had already known, but never had they seen me do anything of the like to my own people. I, without even giving him the dignity of privacy, tortured him and raped him. I did not even allow a mourning period for him. I had the ashes mixed with dirt and used as a fertilizer for a human's crops. I had not even let him speak. I did not want to hear any excuse. There could be no excuse, but I have been hearing his voice ever since." She slipped there at the end, telling more of the story than she meant. She had not meant for Katara to know that she was crazy, hearing his voice all the time.

Her mother was the one whose voice she heard this time, "Fool. You have completely ruined your relationship with her with that last line. Especially if she asks more about it. And how dare you tell her these things? About your weaknesses. That is so unlike you. Do you really think she will not take advantage of this information now that she knows?" Her mother was so much easier to ignore than Kano, but Nanashi was so worn from telling this story, she did not even think to not respond with a whisper, "Shut up, Chiharu." Chiharu was her mother's name. She never called her mother, since her mother was not much of a mother at all.

Katara took the girl's hands. She knew that it would take a lot for her to understand all of the things she'd gone through, but she has listened. She hadn't liked everything, and she knew that it was a lot to take in, but just because she got revenge didn't mean that everything in her heart was resolved. Even she knew that.

"I don't agree with everything you did," Katara said, "But you knew I wouldn't anyway. Kano destroyed something precious, and he did it to scar you. Even now, I can see that you hear him. So do you see now how killing him didn't make a difference? I know killing someone like him is deserved sometimes, but if you don't kill that voice, then you may as well have done nothing. It doesn't matter how you made him suffer: he's still alive in you. I don't wish that for you."

She took her hand again. "Thank you for telling me this. I was like you for a little bit once, when I learned I could go after the person that killed my mother. I thought that revenge would take care of the me that couldn't stop the person that killed her. What I found out was that if I let that person make me hate, like them, make me fall to feelings like that, they beat me every day. You might not believe me, I understand. But if you and I never talk again, I won't betray you as personal as that was. Just understand that if someone you destroy is still there, you have to find a way to take away that power."

Katara released her grip. She really cared about Nanashi, and hoped what she said wouldn't make her think she was weak.

Nanashi threw off Katara's hands, standing up. She was shaking. "How are you so calm?" Her voice was like a shriek, "I just told you about the cruelty I am capable of! How are you trying to comfort me?" Nanashi turned around, and picked the girl up by her shoulders and shook her gently, "I can kill you any moment, and I am insane. I hear voices. Voices of people long dead! And you still are in a locked room with me?" Nanashi let her go and spun away from her.

Her voice was soft, dangerous. "You know I could throw you around like a doll. You know I have murdered. And yet you are sympathising with me? How?" She just could not wrap her mind around the idea. She rushed Katara again, slamming her against the wall, but not too hard, just enough to startle her. She held her there by the shoulders and let her fangs trail against her neck. Whispering so that her lips brushed Katara's neck, "There is no water here. I could do whatever I want." She pulled away slowly and walked slowly, even for a human, to the bed and sat down.

Katara stilled herself so she stayed calm, even when she was being grabbed and shaken. She didn't like that, especially when she was trying to understand where Nanashi was coming fro, but in a way, she reminded her a lot of Zuko...and of Azula. The cruelty was there yes, but it was also holding a level of hurt that only certain people could see. Katara knew enough to not be hostile when things like this happened: she knew that death could come quickly, but not now, not with Nanashi.

That, and while water was required for bending, she knew how to take someone out without bending. It was why she had been practicing the Bene Gesserit ways and learning how to fight hand to hand.

"Do you really want to do that to me?" Katara asked quietly. "I know you can, and I know now that you're capable of hurting me. But I also know that you have a choice too. I know that a vampire needs to feed. I can understand you having to. But I don't think you have to become distrustful and angry. I heard your story Nanashi, your majesty, and I have my own impressions. I...I don't want Kano to ruin the person you are because he was so embedded in your memory. Killing him is not something that makes him go away, believe me."

Her hands rested on Nanashi's wrists, staring into her eyes. "Do you want me not to have sympathy? You didn't deserve it, having him betray you."

Nanashi hung her head. She could not understand. "No, it is not that I do not want your sympathy, I do not understand it. My hands are covered in blood. I feed off of death." She grabbed Katara's hands, carefully squeezing without crushing them. She searched Katara's eyes, trying to find where she found her compassion. "How do you not fear me? I have killed more than I can count, but I have opened my heart to fewer people than fingers on a single hand. I killed my own family. I killed thousands of humans, maybe not all by my own hands, but through the war I wage. And I feel little guilt for most of them. How is it that all those from my home world called me a monster, feared me, and yet you can come to me with such compassion?" She slipped away from Katara and stood about two feet from the wall, facing it, facing away from Katara.

"You cannot blame me for being distrustful. I cannot understand how you are responding. It is completely incomprehensible. You are right, I will not hurt you. But Kano has already ruined me. Chiharu- my mother- she has ruined me as well. I will never trust people wholly. How can I?"

Katara took that moment to quiet herself. Nanashi had a point: why should she be sympathetic to someone who liked killing so easily? She wasn't bragging about the people she killed, she said it as if it were just something that happened casually. By all means, like her conversation with Vader, Katara should have just shunned Nanashi. It would have made sense. Nanashi's query was justified: why give her sympathy at all?

But then she remembered Azula, and wondered if there was something she could say, something she could try to understand.

"Because there's more to you than just death and blood draining: I can feel it. I know you would rather have me see you that way, that its easier to have people hate and misunderstand you. I'm not one of those people. I know its possible to kill, and for some people, its all they do. But I also know that people need to care about something, need to have something to care about. It will take some time to care about people again, I've been betrayed before too. But I think you can find it...and I don't think you're a monster."

Edited 2010-06-16 22:48 (UTC)

Katara was right. It was easier to have people hate her. She was used to that. "You are right. I am afraid of having someone care about me." Nanashi was so used to being the 'bad guy', she was not sure if she could be good. She did want it though. But she still wanted her power, she still wanted to enjoy her pleasures. And she did not know how to keep that without taking advantage of people, with out creating terror. "I adopt children, over and over, rescuing them from the bad, because I do not want them to suffer like I did. I do not want there to be more people like me out there, but it seems that the whole of the world is filled with the terrible and the ruthless. The selfish and the cruel."

Every person Nanashi killed she saw as the enemy, she saw as propagators of filth and ugliness and corruption. All she wanted was a beautiful world, even if she had long ago given up on the beauty of the soul. She thought herself 'good' even with her ruthless nature. "All that I care about is that no child grows up as I did. I have said I have adopted children. I care much about each and every one, human and vampire alike. Children are still pure, they love you unconditionally. Sure, they are selfish, but only so much so that they may survive." Nanashi faced Katara, "Perhaps that is why you can be so compassionate. You are still a child, if just barely. I do not mean that as a bad thing. Children are the only ones I now open my heart to. I have never been betrayed by one of my children." Her voice had become soft and motherly. She softened some. She may have many faults, but she was really just 'The bad man, the sad man, behind blue eyes.'

"I understand that," Katara said. "I'm not saying that something like that you're going to learn to do overnight. I don't even know if its possible for you to be this way on the ship. But I can tell you that I've seen a lot on the travels I've done when I was with the Avatar, good and bad. I know that with all that I've seen, I'm not anyone that can pass judgment over who's good or bad anymore. All I can do is try to help people where I can, because I know what its like to have people take things from you just because they can. That is why I fight."

Katara closed her eyes. "I think I'd like that too. If I could make sure kids on the ship were able to live a happy, healthy life, I'd protect that. But the kids on the ship are here for a reason too, one that even I don't know about. I'm sure a long time ago, my father and mother wanted me to have a protected, innocent childhood too. But life happens, and things make that impossible sometimes. I'm glad that you can protect children...and I hope someday, you can extend that to other people on the ship too."

She smiled. "Thank you for telling me your story."

Nanashi practically collapsed onto the ground. It was not that she was hurt or anything, or hungry. She was just tired. Katara's kind words were just too much for her. She had been so expecting fear or scorn or something- anything but this. She suddenly realized that this was the first time anyone had given her a kind word. The first time someone had thanked her for doing something that friends did- tell each other the stories of their lives. She was surprised to hear a moan of pain, and even more surprised that it came from her own chest. She began to cry, and cry hysterically, almost child like.

She had never cried like this before. How many years had she held back this rush of pain? For a moment she fully believed that there was hope, but then she began to doubt it again. How could she, who only experienced love once, from someone who betrayed her, be able to learn anything besides what she knew? What could this child teach her? Did her age not mean that she was more experienced? Wiser? More knowledgeable about the world? Then why did Katara's kindness seem so honest and right?

Katara had definitely not expected the crying, and it reminded her all too much of a person she'd seen do the same thing: Azula. She always wondered if someone had stopped her from becoming what she was, if somehow just was able to make her see that the things she did were wrong, she would be different. Katara knew better now though: Azula was born to BE superior, bred into her at a young age by the Firelord and festering. Katara's reaction toward Nanashi, however, was a protective one. She had never done the type of things that this vampire had done, but she had toed the line. She had an idea of how easy it would be to be cruel when you wore the title of royalty.

But with Nanashi, Katara understood that people were going to be what they were, but try to find a place where they could still retain something precious to them. She had an idea it was something her teacher would have told her. She also had an idea that Nanashi would be one of those people Sokka REALLY didn't want her hanging out with. He would worry something bad would happen with her. In spite of this, Katara still knelt down to Nanashi, her eyes calmly serene.

"I kinda wish I could remember my teacher, before Arha. I have a feeling she would have liked meeting you somehow."

Nanashi threw her arms around Katara, her tears still flowing. She was unsure who Katara was talking about, but it was nice to know that someone wanted to meet her. Nanashi never had a chance to be a child, she never had anyone to hold her aside from Kano. It was so nice to be held.

She had no childhood. Her mother and father were far more selfish than she was. She being the youngest and a girl- it had almost guaranteed that she would not get the throne. She never had time to be a child, she was too busy trying to survive. The servants had even ignored her. She had a nursemaid who fed her when she needed to be fed, and who washed her and changed her, even if some days she seemed to forget, or maybe just did not feel like it. Katara being so understanding made Nanashi feel as if she finally had a real mother- even if it was for a brief moment and rather ironic considering their difference in age. Still hysteric, Nanashi said, "Please, l-let me be a ch-child for a mo-mo-moment."

Katara didn't know about Nanashi's childhood, not the details, but she could see that there was more than just her majesty or a vampire. Nanashi had seen much, and it shaped her to be cruel, just like it had Zuko once upon a time. That was just how things were in a world Katara had never seen: in the face of cruelty, who wouldn't cling to something that you know to stay alive? To have tortured Nanashi in that way, to be sold her off by the person she loved: how could that not have an effect on you.

And Katara could hold her: she could feel her trembling, feel the pain in the tears she shed now. Even now, did Nanashi doubt that Katara was sincere thanks to this Kano? She couldn't know, but she wouldn't turn Nanashi away. Sokka would be furious, and she knew he had a right, but he'd have to get used to it. Katara never turned away from people that needed her.

Some one like Katara was who Nanashi needed her whole life. Even if in the future Nanashi acted as the usual 'adult', and played what she thought to be the perfect mother, she would still be the one learning and healing thanks to Katara.

She calmed down a little, taking deep breaths. Even if she didn't need to breath, those gasps of air still had a calming effect. Eventually she was quiet, not breathing at all. Then she took a deep breath and spoke, "My parents. They never even named me." Her voice was still filled with tears.

"Do not dare to tell her that story, child!"Her mother's shrill voice echoed in her mind.

"Silence, Chiharu." Despite the sharp words it was easy to tell she was still on the brink of crying.

Nanashi sat up straight and wiped her tears away. She swallowed hard, "I was the youngest of four, and the first girl. In out kingdom, male cousins got the throne before daughters did. I was a useless child." She sniffed again, trying to keep her calm. It was hard to imagine that this all had really occurred around 13000 years ago. "I was already completely fending for myself at the age of four. Granted, there were plenty in the castle who were glad to give me their blood, but still, I was only as strong as an adult human male at four. If I had to really get my own food from less willing people- well, let us say I would have never survived." If this girl was willing to listen, maybe she would tell Nanashi that she was not so insane to have turned out as she had if she knew Nanashi's childhood- or rather, her lack thereof.

Katara was more than used to playing an adult: whether it was looking after Negi or worrying about her own teacher, it was simply something that was ingrained in Katara's blood. Responsibility came hand in hand with taking care of your brother and looking after things in your village. Nanashi, who reminded her of Zuko a bit, did so even more now that she had an idea of how she was raised.

But Zuko HAD been given a name, Zuko had a few years where he had a mother and a father and had at least been allowed to live as a noble. For Nanashi, it looked as if she had to struggle no matter what, whether it was living in her castle or just trying to gain some semblance of parental affection. No wonder she clung to her like this now: who had been around to give her anything, to even make sure she didn't feel like she was worthless? No wonder people like Kano (and her mother she guessed) weighed so heavily on her head: it was a reminder of what she didn't have, of the feeling of being someone with no substance in the world.

"I knew someone who had to struggle like that," Katara said. "He was even scarred by his father for speaking out against him. I was lucky...I had two parents who cared for me, one that even died to protect me. Their sacrificing made me strong, and its why I'm the way I am today. Yours should have done better for you: they should have watched over you. Real parents will always try to do the best for their children."

Nanashi hung her head, speechless. She remained motionless for several long minutes, not even moving to breathe.

The air seemed to almost stale as Nanashi sat there.

Finally Nanashi spoke. Her voice was hoarse and strained. "They locked me out to the sun- no, that would give them the credit of acknowledging me. No, they just ignored me, slamming on the iron doors of the city, begging to be saved from that fire."

She sighed deeply, "This boy, who was scarred by his father. He sounds lucky." Nanashi slid closer to Katara and put her head on Katara's shoulder. She caressed Nanashi's face gently with her cold fingers. The way she touched Katara now was so different from the violence she used before. "You were a very lucky little girl, Katara. You are still lucky, with all your hope."

Katara held up a hand. "Zuko was lucky all right: he was lucky he had a loving uncle that was looking out for him. Without him, Zuko would have been raised by a father to be what he was: cruel and unyielding. When I first found out my mom died protecting me, I felt horrible, like I was the reasons he was dead. But now, especially when I hear stories like yours, I know that my mom did it to help me remember too. That's what real parents just do: they guide you to be strong people."

That was how she saw it anyway, and it was the same way she mothered: she might nag, she might be a little overbearing, but it was because she cared and wanted to help. "I'm lucky all right. I have people on the ship who are like my family. Some are teachers and some are aliens, but they're all people I care about."

Nanashi looked down. "So, even this Zuko had a loving uncle. You, Beastboy, Rein- so many people seem to think that they are deeply loved. How can you trust any of these people you say you love, you say love you? How do you become so soft?"

It sounded like an insult, but her voice revealed a longing.

Family.
Even that sounded wonderful.

"Family..." She seemed to be letting the word roll over her tongue as one might do to taste wine. She closed her eyes tight against tears. "I ended up killing mine."

The only other time she had completely lost her temper.

Katara just gave her a smile. "I trust them because I know I can. It isn't just a blind trust I have with people: I know they can hurt me, they know I can hurt them. But you try not to. You try to not think of ways to get back at other people, plotting revenge and making plans to get one over somebody else. People like that in my world are not in balance, but yes, they exist."

At being called soft, Katara just gave Nanashi a shrug. "I'm not soft. I know who I can trust and who I have to hold back on. Just because I have hope doesn't mean I was born yesterday. I've survived wars in my world because I understood what had to be done."

At the mention of killing her family, Katara's eyes faced downward. "I wish you hadn't, but I feel like after all that, you didn't care. I'm sorry they made you feel like they deserved to die. True family puts everyone on equal footing: we can all hurt each other, but we'd rather try and help one another more."

That sort of thinking still sounded to Nanashi like a pretty fairy tale. A fairy tale she could never be a part of. She did not want to seem like a hopeless case to Katara though, because at the very least she liked the girl's company.

She had not felt this calm in a long, long time. Like this she could almost believe that the fairy tale could come true.

Before long, Nanashi's eyes closed, even as they left a trail of silent tears down her face. Nanashi was asleep not long after that, her pulse slowing to a near absolute stop and her body not breathing at all. She had fallen asleep on Katara's shoulder. It was the first time since she had gotten on the ship that she felt safe enough to go to sleep.

Katara was glad she had taken all of that training: because of that, she could gently ease the vampire over her shoulders and gently onto the bed, careful to tuck the sheets at the corner. She thought about the last few days, and saw the hypocrisy in her actions: Darth Vader, a man who's deeds were nefarious enough to make her wary, seemed less evil after talking with Nanashi. Something had hurt him to at a point, and now he was angry, cold, mistrustful, just like Nanashi.

She could hear Sokka in her head, urging her to keep away, that it was dangerous. Well that much was certain: Katara already had a run in with a vampire even if he wasn't the worst. But it was more than that too: in Nanashi, Katara could see Arha, Carol, a woman who loved in her own way, who'd been through her own hardships.

But she wanted to help her. She had to. It wasn't in Katara's nature to leave someone like Nanashi to deal with her own issues just because she wasn't fond of her past or because she had to feed on people. There was more than that to her, there was good, and Katara wanted to help her find that.

Even if it would take a very long time.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Timebended like a Timebender- So, here is my story... [Closed]

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Long post! :o 1/2

2/2... and I had more too... This may be the longest post I've ever done.

I'm totally listening to Mozart's Lacrymosa as I write this...mood music!!

But wait! There's more! 1/2 (Damn she rambles)

2/2 (Most was going w/the original post, but four posts seemed... excessive)

Re: 2/2 (Most was going w/the original post, but four posts seemed... excessive)

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