trans_9 | I'll See a Light, Sooner or Later [Open]

It wasn't going to do Miku any good if she just stayed in her room and did nothing, though she sorely preferred it over wandering the ship again. So, there she sat in her room, the door open (because even this little room could feel suffocating under the right circumstances) and Miku at her bed. She thumbed over the only physical evidence left of her home: the Camera Obscura, her hairpin.

Her head felt lighter with her hair down, she noticed. Or maybe it was just because it wasn't looped and rolled at the back of her head. Miku looked at the door and chewed her lip. Someone would come eventually. Steve, or Nanoha, or someone. They'd knock on the wall for courtesy's sake, they'd ask if she were fine, and she would have to choose to answer them honestly or with a little white lie. It would be terrible if everyone she knew was really gone. Even Ruri. Where would their souls go? Did anyone know?

Miku sighed heavily and pushed herself off the bed, and put her camera away on a shelf, safe from grabbing hands and prying eyes. Even if she hated the thought of it, she'd have to go out and bear the new-old memory she'd accepted.

Oh, who was she kidding? Miku got under the covers and laid there in a lump of sheets. Bravery was acceptable for and expected of other people that weren't her.

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"That's okay, I think it's normal in this place." Luke grinned at her kindly. "Want to talk about it?"

Miku sat up, and peered at him from the covers. "Ah, yes. I think I'd like that." A little part of her reminded Miku that she should be lying. She should say something along the lines of, We don't need to talk about this.

She pulled the covers off her head and settled them around her shoulders, grabbing the bulk of her long hair with one hand and pulling it from her shroud.

Luke went and sat next to her, gesturing with two fingers and using the Force to close the door slightly to give them some privacy--but not entirely so that if anyone else wanted to drop by and say hi, they could. Crossing his legs in a meditative pose, he got comfortable.

"Were you one of those who opted to have their memories restored?" he asked simply. Beating around the bush wasn't Luke's strong point.

Miku nodded. "I thought I'd be fine. There isn't anyone left for me, really." It was staggering to think how simple that was to say, but it was the truth. She drew her knees up and rested her chin on them. "I wanted to be fine."

She rested her cheek on her kneecap and looked up at Luke, "Did you... did you go and see?"

Luke shook his head. "I've learned there are some mysteries not meant to be unraveled," he replied. "A Jedi is not meant to dwell too much on the past, which can't be changed, nor on the distant future, which is always in motion. Our minds must be on the present. My son, Ben, did though. Just judging by his reaction and what he told me, it was... not pleasant."

Luke couldn't imagine the extinction of all the hundreds of trillions of life forms in the universe. He wasn't sure if he could handle it, if the feeling of one planet being destroyed had been enough to put tears in Obi-Wan's eyes.

"I don't think that doing so was a bad decision though. My opinions are not those of everyone else." He cocked his head, studying her with intent blue eyes. "But I know you have people left."

"I have people here," Miku corrected gently. "If any of my family members arrive, they won't really be from my timeline." And would they really save someone with weak spiritual sense like Mafuyu? Or someone who killed herself on purpose, like Miyuki? Miku didn't know. She worried her lip again.

"It's just the way things worked out." Miku murmured, telling herself more than talking to Luke.

"They'd still be your family." Luke thought of his son, from a place two years ahead of Luke himself, and of Obi-Wan, from a place that was years in the past. "No matter what universe, what time they're from, those kinds of bonds can't be broken."

Miku worried her lip and sighed again, before looking away from Luke and at the other, empty bed. "It's just that... I had finally made my peace with the fact that they've gone ahead of me. They'd died, and it was horrible, but I'd made my peace with it, because they're always going to be with me. I don't know how well I could take the fact that they're here somewhere."

Wasn't that the gods' honest truth? Miku's hair fell into her face, obscuring the uncertainty that was evident everywhere else.

Luke thought about that a moment, then nodded. "I know that feeling," he said quietly. "My wife was killed shortly before I was taken here. But thinking that she, and the other people I know who have died, are possibly here with us--that gives me hope. One day I'll see them again, maybe." He shrugged. "Different philosophies, different ways of viewing the universe. I understand your thinking, too."

"I don't mean to sound so negative about it, but I guess it can't be helped. And I didn't want Steve to see me feeling poorly." He'd worry, and that just wasn't something he needed. Not on top of all his other problems.

"Steve also cares about you," Luke pointed out. "And knowing him, he'd want to help you however he could, even if it was just by listening. And he could probably listen a lot better than an old man like me could."

"I know he does, and I know he would, but," Miku shrugged, unable to convey what she wanted. Steve, as wonderful as he was, was still a bit fragile, if their time together had hinted at anything. "I don't know." She twisted the ends of her hair together. "I know I should be out there with everyone else." Doing something. She didn't know what, for one, and without someone that needed carrying for or errands run, she felt adrift.

"We aren't all called to the same thing. We can't all be warriors," Luke said. "But you have something you can do, something that was recognized when you were rescued and brought aboard. Something that makes you stand out from the rest."

I'll See a Light, Sooner or Later [Open]

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