Billy Cranston (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
morphitudinous) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
trans_92010-05-16 12:09 am
morphitudinous) wrote in trans_92010-05-16 12:09 am
Entry tags:
A Man In Time You'll Be [Closed]
Training, Billy found, was a fairly comfortable and predictable routine once a few weeks had passed. This comfort did not include the physical variety, as the scattered bruises across his skin would make obvious, but the pattern of down and up was easily adjusted to. Even the pain and humiliation were slightly dulled, replaced by a somber but almost-neutral expression.
Emphasis on the 'almost', because he only managed to make eye contact with the others during combat when it was required (and logical, really), and he was far quieter than anyone who knew him may have expected. As any bullied geek soon learned, the best way to avoid punishment was to draw as little attention to yourself as possible.
At the end of a training day, therefore, Billy wanted nothing more than to exit quietly and avoid further scrutiny. Unfortunately, the very things he'd been trying to do to prevent unwanted attention would draw it today.
Emphasis on the 'almost', because he only managed to make eye contact with the others during combat when it was required (and logical, really), and he was far quieter than anyone who knew him may have expected. As any bullied geek soon learned, the best way to avoid punishment was to draw as little attention to yourself as possible.
At the end of a training day, therefore, Billy wanted nothing more than to exit quietly and avoid further scrutiny. Unfortunately, the very things he'd been trying to do to prevent unwanted attention would draw it today.
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Before the human could leave the tavern with the others, he motioned him over to the bar, "Got a moment, Billy?" His tone made it clear that unless it was a life or death thing, then yes, Billy had a moment.
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The moment Kang clearly spelled out his doom, Billy froze. For a second, he even found himself wishing that this was all a dream. Unfortunately, no such luck.
"Yes of course," he barely managed to refrain from mumbling, walking over without a sound. Internally, he panicked. He'd really done a number on the final exercise of that day, hadn't he? One misstep and he became a human floor mop milliseconds later. The other students had amazing, praiseworthy technique. That much was obvious.
Billy was in trouble for failing to meet the standard, he was certain.
"I realize that my performance leaves much to be desired. Am I too unskilled to continue?"
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"It's a matter of objective observation. I currently lack the precise ain and refined ability to predict maneuvers that my sparring partners have. As the weakest, should we enter combat together I will be a liability to the group. People have been hurt trying to protect me when I was less able than they were, and I never want to be in that position again." He shifted uncomfortably, gripping the edge of the bar.
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"Not...maybe not precisely. It was worse prior to my rescue. I was chosen to join a team of warriors at home. None of them have ever awakened here, but they were all experienced fighters. I had never thrown a punch before, and in our early battles my teammates risked death to keep me safe. I couldn't bear to cause them pain, so I spent a year in training. Eventually, I was capable enough that they could trust me to handle myself."
A brief pause. "Now I'm here and back at square one, with both allies and enemies stronger than I am. I trusted my teammates not to reject me for my weakness, because we'd known each other for years, but I don't have that level of trust with anyone here. My world isn't normally harsh enough to allow the weak to die out---it merely settles for ostracizing them."
Unknowingly, Billy revealed part of the problem. A long-standing inferiority complex coupled with fear of a repeat of his bully victim years.
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Rubbing at his temple with one hand, he quoted in his best ancient mentor voice: "'Billy, you are patient and wise'. That's what I was told. I was also needed to conduct field repairs of our equipment and navigate dangerous terrain, but our combat powers came with some automated attacks that I could use with no training. When wearing the costume, I could fight almost as well as the others. It was only in my unpowered form that I was a liability."
Huh, now he used past tense. Interesting.
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He looked down at the bar, smiling to himself. "I have an old friend named Gloth; he's a bozak like me, and he was one of my soldiers for well over thirty years. When I was first going to meet up with the draconians of my old regiment, I ran into a few of them talking about a plan to retrieve treasure from an old dwarven stronghold. I pretended to be a deserter and offered my services in helping them to build a bridge across a lake full of fang fish, to get an idea of what I was going to be dealing with. Admittedly, Gloth isn't the brightest of individuals, but he's not the idiot he was originally treated as; the others constantly ridiculed him and had no faith in his skills. In fact, their commander treated them all like idiots. You know what I told him?"
Pausing, he looked up, locking his eyes with Billy. "'You keep telling them that long enough, and they'll believe it.' I trusted Gloth to perform certain tasks, and he proved to be very capable. Capable enough, in fact, that he became a very competent officer. He just needed a push."
His wings rustled, "All of us bozaks have innate magic that we can learn to use, and he had quite a bit of trouble grasping it at first. No one else thought he'd ever be any good, but I helped him for several years, and eventually, he got the hang of it," Kang leaned back on the bar. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. Some people catch on to things quicker than others. What matters is that you have confidence in yourself and give it your all until you achieve your goal, because once you give up, you've lost. You're capable, Billy. I know you are. You know it, too."
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Gloth was like him. The other bozak had been belittled, but training and encouragement from Kang had brought him up to speed. He guessed that Kang was willing to do the same for him if he tried---that was one less burden weighing Billy down. He had feared Kang would become frustrated with him and quit.
Do I know it? Billy's face shifted into a thoughtful expression. He reflected on just what he'd proven himself to be capable of doing. Images of repairing machinery for his friends, earning his first karate belts, and running to help Renne and Jamie filled his head. He was far from perfect, of course---the pile of failures had helped create this mood in the first place---but he worked hard and didn't always fail. That had to be enough for now, as long as it was improved later.
"I'll fight to remain capable, sir" His mood and expression are relieved. Not quite the happy ball of curiosity that was his normal self, but more similar to a man that had been saved from drowning and caught his breath.
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Billy met Kang's eyes with his own will for the first time in weeks and finished with: "Thank you for everything. It means a lot---possibly more than you know."
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"Hey, after all the help you've given me with physics and chemistry, the least I can do is help you with something. Besides, you'd do the same for me."
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With a grateful smile, he propped himself up on the bar. "Are there further issues in need of attention?" He hoped this wouldn't take too much longer. He really wanted a shower, even if sonics were no substitute for water. After training, he sometimes wondered if Renne would gag on his scent if he came too close.
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