trans_9 | Hit the Snooze Button

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Hit the Snooze Button

It was probably too soon for her to be back in her feet and training, but Kala couldn't just sit. Or sleep. She'd slept for days after the conflict, even when she was worried about Will's hands. And she was still worried about them. Naturally, since she couldn't do a gafting thing about it, she was working out her annoyance by working on her ability to control energy in the form of bolts from her staff. It also meant she had taken the time to find something relatively harmless to shoot. In the end, it was a ball of something inorganic, but light, and made out of a substance she was unfamiliar with, but it was as good as anything else.

An hour passed before she paused, leaning on her long staff, heavily winded, cold, and disappointed at the number of times she'd missed, as the ball rolled back toward her.

She lacked focus. Again. And this wasn't the first day since she'd finally made up lost sleep that she'd been out in the park picking away at her skills. They were better and whatever growing she'd needed to do had helped, but her aim was still off. After a moment, she closed her eyes and the staff became a sword. Kala moved through the practice routines Matt had given her to help train her in his Paladin path, but she found herself tiring quickly even as she drove all of her will into staying focused and channeling her energy.

A swing and thrust culminated in a burning itch that quickly became a warning twinge of pain. It threw off her balance and she felt her knees give. A second later, she was sprawled gracelessly across the grassy knoll where she'd been practicing, cussing softly under her breath as she stared up into a decidedly fake sky. She stayed there, her fingers clutching the hilt of her sword (which abruptly turned back into a pendant with a few concerned burbles and some garbled grumbling from Rising Phoenix), and for awhile, drifted into a light doze.

Maybe a nap wasn't such a bad thing.

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"I asked for it," she said quietly. "Ben was aging people up and down a bit. I wanted to figure out of growing older physically would allow me to, ah, stabilize some, yeah? And it did. A bit. I mean, it's not perfect, but it helps."

Her fingertips brushed his shoulder gently.

"They feeling any better today?" she asked, her tone only a little bit wobbly. Just a little. She knew what they'd looked like before they'd been healed---and she'd had a good look before the first healing. "Or are you gonna take a walk back to Medical and maybe take a healing session from that weird woman. Arha, I think her name is."

"Eh, I'll be fine with time, from what Hunter said. Apparently, I don't need to keep 'em bandaged to help the healing... it's more to keep the splints in place. I just hope I didn't screw up too much just to get rid of that damn demon... hate to not be able to play anymore. Who knew there were such glaring drawbacks to immortality?" He said, holding his hands out in front of him. He could see his energy pushing through them, but slower and softer than before. Like it was having issues working it's way out.

Not like her.. she was coursing with power. And more than a bit of regret, from the looks of it. It was probably a bad sign that even her negative emotions were shiny.

"So, how old does that make you now? 24, 25?"

"You'll play again," Kala said firmly. He would, she believed that in the most determined of ways. He'd play again even if it took awhile. Her fingers curled around his shoulder almost thoughtfully, then slid slightly as if she wasn't ready to actually let go. If anything it was an unconscious action, one she was too busy focusing on other things to really notice.

"Mm, twenty-five. I guess I'll be stuck at this age for at least a year. Is what Ben said, anyway."

"Welcome to my life. I've been twenty-five for a good, oh, must be seventy, eighty years now." There was a long pause before he continued. "Wait, you're going to be twenty-five for a year, and then you'll be older? Isn't that just natural aging?"

"I dunno, might be two years. It's just what Ben thinks at this point. might be that I'm stuck for a few years, might be that I age normally. It's a wait-see game. But m'not going back to nineteen." Kala shrugged lightly. "I'm a little more in control this way, yeah?"

Seventy to eighty years of being one age was a good chunk.

"That's a long time to watch the world go by," Kala said distantly, trying to figure out what that might be like. It explained the jaded bitterness and she understood it a little better.

"Mm. I've seen two world wars, the rise of the automobile, flight as an everyday thing, and of course the rise of in-home electricity. The world changes and grows at an alarming rate." He was quiet, then, thinking about everything he'd seen and gone through. The friends he'd lost along the way, and the myriad of problematic students he'd seen.

It was a long haul. He'd almost had an escape, thanks to the Nightmare King. He was so close he could taste it. But he'd been dragged out to help people. Again. It seemed like there was always someone who needed him for something.

"But, hey, if you're more in control this way, and you're happy with it, more power to you. You wear it well."

"Good things and bad things," Kala murmured. "Always one or the other." She eased herself up with a slight hiss and set her cheek against hsi shoulder, just thinking. Thinking about home and the changes wrought there. Many were her own changes--freedom from the goo-bugs, from the Lost Logia. The use of the energy crystals gave people back the life they'd had a generation before, after all.

"It's better than it was," she said with a slight frown. "I've still got..power leakage issues, but it's definitely not as bad as before. Like my body's finally used to it or something." She paused and almost let out a laugh. "But thanks. Good to know."

She was silent for awhile.

"Are you really okay, Will?" she asked. "No lies. No half-truths."

"No lies? Probably not." There was yet another long pause before he continued. "I've got a lot of personal demons. And the Nightmare King used one of the biggest ones, my biggest fear; he gave me back the life I used to have. Before the powers, the death toll, and everything else. He let me live again."

He had to pause again. The urge to either scream or cry was not a small one. "I had to give it all up, of my own will, to help fight him. I had to give up everything, but this time knowing just what came next. No, I'm probably not right at all. And I don't know if I ever will be."

He wanted to say 'I gave it up for you'. That would've been the real truth. The real reason he did it all. But he couldn't do that to her. It was too much for her to have to deal with.

She listened, biting her bottom lip. Giving him that life back...what he'd lost, that was horrible. More so that he'd had to make the choice to leave it. Kala said nothing because there wasn't anything to say, instead, she scooted closer and simply wrapped her arms around him and buried her lips against his neck. She wanted to cry for him; her eyes prickled with it and her face burned, but the tears wouldn't come. Like everything else, they remained tucked away. She wanted to thank him for coming back--to her, to them--but didn't. She held onto the silence.

No one was going to be okay about any of the gafting crap they'd gone through, least of all that. No one ought to be forced to deal with a choice like that--which was why the Nightmare King had done it. And still, there was nothing that could be said. The only thing she could do was be there, right there, and hope it would help even the tiniest amount.

One of the basic precepts of Zen is the idea of no-mind; living in each moment as the moment that it is. Not wondering, not worrying about anything else. The idea in and of itself is a difficult thing to grasp, as attempting to enter a no-mind state is by definition a mind state, which turns it into a contradiction.

However, no-mind can be attained with ease on accident. NOt being burdened by ones troubles, not thinking about who, what, where, when and why (sometimes how), can just... happen. Especially when one is wrapped up in someone they deeply care about.

With someone you love, no-mind is easy. It is an eternity and a nanosecond. As soon as its realized, it's gone, potentially forever.

And no one knows just how to get it back. Enjoy it when and while you can, people.

Kala sank against him carefully, content to linger in the moment for as long as she could. It surprised her, how easy it was to be still like this. She was always moving, always doing. But now?

This was a time for stillness and comfort when there was nothing else to be done. No training. If she murmured anything at all it was nothing intelligible and her cool fingers found his cheek.

And like any moment, it didn't last too long. Not-thinking is much harder than it has any right to be, and Will soon found himself thinking about the two of them. She was really worried about him, about what he'd been through.

He hadn't even paused to think about what happened to her.

With another long drawn breath, be broke the wonderful silence. "I never asked how you were coping."

"Better than I should be," she said quietly, "but that could just be denial. I didn't have it as bad as some, though I'm shaky in the dark again. Sometimes I hear things crawling, still." Kala suppressed a shudder. "I'm healing slowly on all fronts, but I..."

She smoothed a thumb across his cheekbone and her fingers curled slightly against his jaw.

"I was more worried about you. About finding you, because I..." Kala's other hand tightened into a fist. "I would have missed you if you'd--" If he hadn't come back, if he'd been killed. Because there was a chance any or all of those things could have happened.

"I would have missed you," she murmured. "Funny, the things you worry about, innit? Bleeding all over the place and..." Kala half shook her head.

Will chuckled a little. She neverstopped. She was always focused on someone else, 24/7. It was a train without a conductor. A wreck waiting to happen.

"You know, there's a reason I came back. Why I didn't give in." He put one of his bandaged hands over hers as she touched his jaw. "I came back for you. Because I was worried about you." He smiled a gentle smile. Things were actually working out for once.

"Funny, that," Kala said almost lazily. "What a bunch of worriers we are." She half closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the contact, all of it. If the trenchcoated man hadn't dropped her off in Medical, she would have wandered until she'd found him, screw her own wounds. Because she'd needed to know he was alive.

I should have been there, though. With you. It was easier to murmur that mentally, quietly, easier for the warmth to carry through as her lips brushed his temple carefully as if she were afraid of breaking him...or breaking herself.

Edited 2010-03-28 07:02 (UTC)

"We should really do something about that." It was all he could manage to say about it, really... his focus was rather quickly being drawn away from the conversation to the physical contact. It was...nice. Something he hadn't had for a long time; contact with real emotion behind it. He raised himself up to her just a little bit more; held her just a little closer.

She was warm.

"We should," she said, her voice a whisper as her lips brushed his cheek and her cool fingers settled against the nape of his neck. Kala pulled away just enough to study his face, enough to trace her fingers over the line of his jaw and brush her thumb gently over his bottom lip.

"Should," Kala murmured. Not seeing him again had never been an option.

He smiled. "But probably won't." He ran his hand through her hair; it was shorter now. He hadn't expected that. He was quickly loosing the battle of wills that every man goes through when confronted in such a situation.

"It's just our nature."

"Not going to bother," Kala murmured, closing her eyes, "arguing with nature." Unconsciously, she leaned into him, her own fingers curling against the nape of his neck. "S'waste of time," she said, feeling more than a little lightheaded, "arguing with something that you can't change."

"Mmm." was all Will managed to say to agree with her. He had officially lost the battle of wills, not that he'd complain. He was back in the moment.

...we may not be getting words from him for a while.

There are few truly clear moments in life, ones that feel truer, more vivid than others. Kala knew that this was one. Her lips brushed his hesitantly as her fingertips slid against his hair. If the wind kicked up a little, she didn't notice.

Anyone who has ever had a blindfold knows what it can do to heighten anticipation. Now, imagine always being blindfolded. It would be safe to assume that, constantly wearing a blindfold, human contact is just that much more important. Just that much more anticipated.

He was not disappointed in the least, as he happily kissed her back.

He didn't notice the wind, either.

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