trans_9 | Closer, Let Me Whisper in Your Ear [Closed to Steve]

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Closer, Let Me Whisper in Your Ear [Closed to Steve]

Four days later, a slightly-less-miserable Miku pulled herself out of bed finally, dressed and cleaned herself up appropriately, and made her way to medical.

There, she was told that Steve had been released, and made her way back up to the crew quarters where she was (fairly) certain her ~~boy~~friend was being held. She still felt snuffly and like warmed-over death, but it was much better before, when she seemed to be playing sinus shougi with her nostrils and wondering if hanging off the side of the bed would make her feel better (or just run all the gunk into her brain and put her out of her congested misery).

Maybe, she thought as she knocked on the door, the two of them could finally have that talk. At least this time there was no bubble wall between them.

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The first thing Steve did when he was out of quarantine was put a shirt on.

The second thing he did was go for a walk, almost a jog, really, around the obs deck. Anywhere that was bigger than four or five paces was absolutely fine with him. Once he was done with that he went to the cafeteria to get his portion of real food for the week-- nobody bothered providing it for him while he was in the bubble because it was just as good he eat that super nutritious garbage they so lovingly called "slop."

And when that was done he went back to his room to get some privacy for the first time in a few days. He opened the door and brightened up to see Miku, still looking a little sickly but otherwise better than he'd heard she was.

"Hey, you're better," he said. "I felt really bad when I heard you were that sick. How do you feel?"

"I feelb a little better," Miku smiled, though it wasn't as full as usual. She was going to blame that firmly on being ill. "Enoughb to comf findf youb." Her nose made her words a little garbled and stuffy, and Miku wondered for a moment if it would be in bad taste to go back to her room and sleep. If she could sleep without worrying about suffocating, anyway.

"Mayb I comf in?"

"Yeah, of course," he said-- and then thought better on it, pausing a moment to look back in the room to make sure there was nothing embarrassing in there. Not like he had any underwear to leave laying around, but call it force of habit.

Nope, nothing but his guns and ammo on the table, the two cots (one rumpled, one pristine and unused) and the picture on the wall near the rumpled cot. "Come on in."

"Thangk youb," Miku replied and shuffled in. She stifled a little laugh; it was much cleaner than his room when she'd gone to eat with him at the sensoriums. The reminder made her face heat up and she shifted her weight to her other foot as she sat down on the edge of his bed.

Miku breathed deeply through her mouth and looked at Steve, "I'm glad that you're feeling better, too." A sniffle, "It puts me at ease."

Steve smiled awkwardly at her and brushed his hair out of his face. "You don't have to worry about me," he said. "I may end up in medical a lot but I'm always fine. You gotta take care of yourself too." Of course he talked tough, but Steve did secretly enjoy knowing that people worried about him. It was a nice feeling-- not that they were worried, but that they were there TO worry.

"Next time we havb an emergency, I'll bring an umbr-umbrel-umbrella," Miku teased back and wrinkled her nose against a sneeze that was fighting its way out of her sinuses. It just... just wouldn't do for her sneeze and gunk up her face.

That would not be cute. Not at all.

"And in another day or two, I'll be okay." At least she hoped so. Miku looked down at her lap and toyed with the hem of her blouse.

"Good," he said again, and left it at that.

Which let an awkward moment of silence creep into the conversation. It was slowly dawning on Steve that he was alone in his room with the door shut and his ~~girl~~friend inside. He peered at the door nervously, like he expected somebody to walk by and go "DOOR OPEN" at any second.

"So, um..." he idly touched the bandage on his arm again-- the wounds weren't open anymore, but it was almost a nervous habit now. "Did you... want to talk or something? I mean-- since you came all the way here and all." Yes, like it was so bizarre for your ~~girl~~friend to want to see you, Steve.

Miku nodded, "Well, yes... and... I wanted to see you again, so..." If only to let him know that she was okay and not wanting to kill herself via sinus leakage to the brain. "And youb said that youb had wanted to explain about... things, more clearly."

Damn this cold. Miku rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand and put it back in her lap. "Would it be better if you sat down?"

She wanted to see him again. Eeeheehee. Steve reached up and rubbed his neck awkwardly.

Aaaand then she reminded him. "Oh... yeah..." he said a little absently, sort of drifting out of the conversation a bit. He was quiet for a moment and then shrugged his shoulders slightly. "I guess I owe you, huh. If you wanna know then... yeah, sure."

He kind of slunk over and sat down next to her, a modest distance away that would probably get closed as soon as she went all heat-seeking missile on him.

"Well, as I was lying in bedb, I thought it would only be fair if I admittbed things, too." It had been a particularly difficult decision for her, between fever dreams and wishing she could detach her head from her body for the duration of the cold. But, the Seer--er, Cargn-sensei--knew about her abilities, as did Nanoha, and she wasn't even even as close to them as she was to Steve.

Her stomach flip-flopped when she thought about that. He might not have been as close to her as her family had been, but she was comfortable (er, mostly) with him and he made her happy. That was what mattered didn't it? And if he didn't like what she was, if he thought she was weird and not worth it, then they could part mostly amicably, and that would be the end of this.

"So, you first." Miku looked at him from under her bangs and her hand rested between them, where it started to grip the fabric.

Mr. Confidence was looking a little less so than normal. He was squeezing his own section of the fabric, looking alternatingly between Miku and between some unidentifiable point across the room.

He took a deep breath to calm himself down and tried to focus. His palms were sweating. Why did this always happen? It's not even like it was a big deal anymore. But he couldn't shake the overwhelming feelings of dread that stuck to the memories, and the overwhelming fear that enough would be enough and Miku would see why it wasn't worth it to put up with a near-mutant headcase like him.

"I don't know where to start," he admitted after a moment, glancing over at her. That was his way of buying time.

"The beginning is usually best," Miku replied softly and glanced back at him. No blushes this time, just that sense of dread that came up and chewed on her if she thought about things too long and too hard.

Mafuyu always said she'd give herself a heart attack thinking of every little thing. Maybe he was right. Her fingers, however, walked themselves over to his hand and covered it. Despite being ill, they were as cool as ever.

His hand froze up a little bit at her touch, then he seemed to relax the slightest bit.

Steve was still quiet for a moment, trying to figure out exactly how to open this up. There were so many horrible details to cover he wasn't sure which one to go with first.

Finally he took a deep breath and just picked one. "So, you asked me before where I got this virus." A long time ago, even, and he hadn't even answered at all. "It's not something you just get. I was," he paused for a deep breath, "I was a science experiment. A human guinea pig."

Miku tilted her at him, and tried to think back to that vision she'd had when she touched him. "So... that tattoo...? Is it from then, too?" Here, Miku tread carefully; she knew what she'd seen, but there was a certain amount of care she'd needed to take.

He glanced at her for a moment and then looked down at the black markings on the inside of his left elbow. Then he nodded.

"My father worked for a chemical company called Umbrella that... turned out to have a whole lot of shit under the surface. He got caught selling company secrets. They sent soldiers to our house. They shot my mother to death and then they arrested me and my dad."

Steve paused for a moment to collect himself, slipping his hand out from under Miku's and touching his tattoo. "They threw us in their own private prison on an island. It was more like a death camp than a prison. They used the prisoners for experiments and made monsters out of them. The island got attacked and all the zombies broke loose, and I managed to get out with Claire... you know, my friend Claire? That's where I met her."

He was starting to slow down as things started getting harder to talk about. "Claire and I got off of the island, barely... but I had to kill my father when he turned into a zombie."

Miku had heard of some companies being run by or employing yakuza to do their dirty work, but never something so horrible as gunning down a family member and forcing the others into prison. She moved a little closer to him and took his hand away from the tattoo, holding it in both of hers.

"So... did you get the virus there?" Miku's tone was soft, but serious. Maybe she didn't want to know, not really, and they could continue their play of total-almost-normalcy on a space ship careening through space that talked to them.

"I'm sorry if I'm being too nosy, but..." But why anyone would ever make such a thing was beyond her. Possibly in the same sphere as to why they'd sacrifice girls like Miku to seal close the gates to the underworld, or force them to take on others' pain of loss.

Steve shook his head, and let her take his hand back. He didn't seem to be able to look at her, and was desperately trying to hide the fact he maybe might have been tearing up a little bit.

"We escaped, but the plane got rerouted to another Umbrella facility and we got captured by this psycho woman, Alexia Ashford. She took Claire prisoner, but she was pissed at me because I killed her brother Alfred back on the island. So she took me to her lab and used me as an experiment for the Veronica virus."

He swallowed and hesitated a long time before going on. "I don't remember much after that. Claire found me in the dungeons and she tried to get me out, but she... Alexia ordered me to kill her." Steve closed his eyes and his voice shook. "The virus turned me into this... this thing. And it scrambled my brain so I couldn't think, and I did almost kill her. I managed to stop myself, but then I..."

"I died," he said quietly.

The hands that held his tightened suddenly as things quietly clicked into place for Miku. It'd explain it, why certain people like Steve gave off that aura of Not Right and other didn't. "Well, that explains it."

Actually, no, it didn't explain anything (to Steve). Miku turned his face towards hers, gently. "We have more in common than we thought," she smiled, but her tone was sad.

Steve had been mentally preparing himself for the panic, the disbelief, the "you're a freak", the "oh my god you were dead you're a zombie get away from me"... yes, so he was a bit dramatic. He was still busy absolutely steadfastly refusing to be caught with tears in his eyes when Miku made him look her way and said...

Huh? "We do?" he murmured, looking genuinely confused.

She nodded and kept his hand between both of hers, "My mother committed suicide when I was in high school. First year, too. School had just started, it was springtime and all the cherry trees had bloomed and..." Miku felt a finger run down her spine, scattering electricity through her skin, and for a moment smelled camellia oil. "She hung herself on the big cherry tree in our backyard. Before that, my father disappeared from an archaeological dig in the Japanese countryside when I was a little girl."

She shifted in her seat, uncomfortable admitting these things. "After my mother died, I went to live with my brother, Mafuyu. I was really happy, because my brother was like me - we could see things that other people couldn't see." Her voice kept dropping with each sentence, getting quieter and quieter. "Ghosts... people's memories in objects, sometimes I could tell when bad things were going to happen, but..."

She licked her lips and pressed them together for a second, "And then Mafuyu died, too. He went into a mansion and was taken away. When I said I was suffering from a curse, it wasn't the first time. I followed Mafuyu into the mansion, and..." Miku faltered and let go of his hand to point to the still-healing bruises on her wrists. "So... I guess what I'm saying is, everyone I've ever gotten close to has died."

She drooped.

Wow. That was a lot of bombshells at once. Miku's whole family was dead too (no wonder neither of them ever brought it up), and like she had mentioned in passing once, she had some kind of psychic powers? Wow.

Steve watched her for a moment and added his other hand to squeeze hers back for a change. Boy, they'd come leaps and bounds since the shoulder-arm incident, hadn't they?

"I'm sorry about your family," he said quietly. "Now you know I can relate." Except Miku's mother killed herself, and Steve's parents had not chosen what happened to them. That thought gave him an uncomfortable feeling, like he was guilty for thinking it.

He had no idea what to add after that.

Cuddles were a slippery slope downwards, sir.

"It's okay, I have a feeling they're always with me." Miku replied softly and sniffled. She wasn't going to cry and make him feel bad. No. No way. "I'm sorry about yours, too."

She pulled her hand away to wipe at her eyes quickly. "When I touched you, I think I accidentally touched your tattoo and I... saw some things. I was too afraid to admit to it, though." She was ashamed of that. "I can't... can't really control it. But, Cargn-sensei is going to help me."

"That's what you said," he murmured, dropping his eyes down at the tattoo again. "So did you mean... you already knew all that stuff I just told you?"

Normally he would have been annoyed about somebody prying into his head, but she couldn't really control it-- just like Luke couldn't really control the way he could detect people's feelings. He couldn't in good conscience be annoyed with Miku, though. This was all stuff he should have told her way before now.

"I told you I was kind of messed up," he said, shrugging his shoulders a little bit. "I just left off how much. I didn't mean to lie, especially when I could still lose it or get you sick, but... I understand if you're freaked out."

"No, I... couldn't make much sense of it. It's like.. watching a black and white TV, but the channels keep changing." Miku explained gently. "It gives me flashes I end up having to piece together."

"And I don't really minded that you kept things from me. It isn't like I laid everything out for you to see, either. I'm sorry." She sniffled again, her voice was a little thick, "Ah, A-As an aside... I don't want to cry, because I can breathe for once this week."

Well, that made him feel a little better. Even if it was an accident, he didn't much like the idea of people being able to read his thoughts. Still, she hadn't screamed in horror or insisted he leave, and she seemed to be worried about the same things he was.

He offered her an awkward little smile and reached out to put one hand on her shoulder. "It's okay," he said. "I'm sorry too. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner. But I guess neither of us really wanted to... bring it up, you know?"

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