trans_9 | Catharsis

Current Location: Stacy: City Park
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Catharsis

Title: Catharsis
Location: Stacy; city park

He was without the walls.

It was strange and scary and liberating and...a mass of other-things Renne couldn't put an English word to. Still, he couldn't say he was angry with the Human that had turned his walls into dust.
It was just something mountainous he had to get used to. Had to adapt to, somehow.

And yet that, right now, came second in his thoughts.

He couldn't make use of many things others could but Renne had it too deeply entrenched in his mind that this had to be done.

So through the halls, over the ruins of the Nightmare King's devastation, Renne crawls. Under an arm, a pile of little paper scraps slowly dwindles. It's an intentional drop of one slip at a time and when his bundle runs out, the oddity ends up at a quiet place. Grass, trees and quiet. It has its scars of battle but it's not a devastated war zone. Once there, Renne sits on the grass and holds his plushie in his lap.

The slips he'd dropped bear few words but it's hopefully readable between the horrendous penmanship, worse spelling and perhaps queer name mutilations.

Seek Humans. A-Dam-Dam, Bee, Jay-mee.

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On one of his many quiet journeys from the laboratory, Billy encountered a note. He picked it up, reading quietly to himself.

"Seeking humans....Bee, Adam-dam, Jamie? Hmm. I think I know who wrote this," he muttered with a tiny grin.

Part of him contemplated the possible reasons why Renne would be calling for him along with two of his close friends. Was Renne trying to acquaint himself with everyone Billy knew?

Regardless of the motivation, Billy knew he simply had to attend. So he strolled to the place where the paper-trail led, where at least one imp (and possibly some humans) waited for him. Little did he know that they planned to force him to confront the lingering pain in his heart.

((The other human(s) can either be already there and blinking at Renne in confusion or following later. Your choice.))

Jamie had followed the little pieces of paper (and Renne), and is holding one in his hands when Billy arrives. He looks rather relieved that he's arrived. Much easier to ask questions that way.

"Billy?" He gestures to him with the piece of paper, waving it slightly. "Do ye know what's going on?"

Edited 2010-03-19 05:43 (UTC)

Billy nods upon seeing Jamie there sporting a look of confusion that mirrors Billy's own. So Jamie's not 'in' on the conspiracy, Billy decides. Then the ringleader in this case is the imp and only the imp---unless Adam agreed to sneak around? Unlikely.

"I believe we'll have to ask Renne to receive an answer to that question," Billy replies, looking around for a flash of blue.

He'd left this place for a short while to find at least the one other he's familiar with scent-wise. Thus, the imp crawls to this place with Jamie in tow.

Sniff. Ear-twitch. Does he sound a wee bit happy he can smell a Billy?

"Bee?"

"Hi," he greets softly, feeling uncharacteristically cautious. Something about this situation has him on edge, wondering what on earth all the secrecy could be for.

Billy takes in the sight of the imp and Scot in front of him, peeking over their heads for any sight of 'A-dam-dam'.

Adam made his way over to the spot, confused from all the notes. He never actually met whoever wrote this, at least, he didn't think he had. But who else would "A-dam-dam" be? His arm was in a sling, but the wound was covered up by the shirt he wore, one of the ones Billy got for him. It was a little big, but he didn't mind.

He blinked at the blue imp and then at Billy. "Um..."

Oh, there was Adam. Billy flinched predictably at the sight of the sling knowing exactly how it got there, but otherwise seemed pleased to see his friend up and about.

"Hey Adam," he opened, more solemn than usual. "This is my good friend Jamie McCrimmon. I think you may have seen him before---I attacked both of you in approximately the same area," he clarified, gesturing to the third teen.

Reaching his hand down to the imp and quietly rubbing an ear, he adds, "And this is Renne. He's a good friend of mine, and the one who called us together---assuming nothing unexpected happened, of course."

Taking a deep breath, he waited for Renne to say something. Anything. This situation was really starting to make him uneasy, even though that sounded ridiculous. These were his friends.

The ear-skritch earns a purr and a nuzzle, naturally. However, without his walls? The oddity's skin flashes occasionally with streaks of amber and a deep, deep earthen brown.

"Ah-dam-dam?"

Chirping, the beastie first crawls toward this new Human he's never smelled before and gives a sniff. It's not too long before he backs up a little and those streaks of amber-brown with that deep-earth display the growing fear in his eyes. Yes, he's terrified but his very logical expression tells of his determination to keep on.
He's got no choice now and...
Lancing wounds are never pretty.

"Eee. Yeu be Brrrroh-therrrr, to Bee. Bad-bad thin-g hurrr-t yeu ahn-d Bee too. Rrrr-enne ha-ve sa-d fohrrr tha-t. Rrr-enne wahn-t hell-p ficks."

It's not his best explanation but at least his voice doesn't tremble.

Jamie's still somewhat confused by the situation, rather than suspicious, so just waits with the others until Adam arrives. He does recognize him, and nods a greeting. "Glad to see ye made it out of everything all right."

When Billy introduces him, he remarks, "We've met, sort of. I was at that wee concert ye set up, remember?"

Really, he'd rather remember that than the fight at the moment. However, it seems that the fight may very well be why they're all here like that, and Renne's statement draws a soft 'Ah'. This must be what Renne meant when he said he wanted to fix things.

He looks at the others, waiting to see what develops.

Adam nodded. "I remember."

The creature was very odd and it looked scared but still approached him. Adam knelt down before the creature and gave a small smile. "You're right, Billy is like my brother. The wound isn't much though, really. Thank you, though."

As Renne speaks, Billy takes in the message with a bit of shock. He should've guessed that this meeting would be about that. Somehow or another, the imp was going to use Jamie and Adam to force him to let go of any traces of guilt. This would be painful, no doubt.

"I don't think he's referring solely to physical wounds, Adam," Billy says softly. "Though that is a component of the problem," he adds, cringing again. He'd heard Adam's pain when the shot was fired. He'd been unable to stop it. It was a miracle that he'd had enough strength to stop his shadow self from outright killing both of them.

Looking back around at everyone there, he continues: "Uh...Renne, how do you intend to fix it? I hurt them. They're healing. Hopefully, someday they'll be able to look at me without seeing what my other self did. And maybe I'll grow stronger from this as well. Is there really anything else that can be done, other than to give it time?"

Oh Billy, so naïve.

"Eeee. Yeu tehll Rrrr-enne ah-bowt Ah-dam-dam ahn-d Djay-Djay. Rrrr-enne feel it. Bee rrrre-mem-berrrr?"

What? A stern little imp? Yes, it's possible and once he gets straight whose scent and voice belongs to whom, the oddity's ears flick determinedly forward. And he speaks.
His skin's flashing crazily now, striping down with amber, deep brown and silvery-star blue.

His tone however, softens at his next words.

"Bee. Yeu un-derrr-stahnd. Whe-n yeu say Brrro-therrr, Bee un-derrr-stahnd? Rrrr-enne hearrr Noh Harrr-mo-ny hee-rrrre. Is noh Harrr-mo-ny in Bee ahn-d Djay-Djay ahn-d A-Dam-Dam. Tha-t noh be goo-d.
Brrro-therrr nee-d Harrr-mo-ny."

Time heals all wounds, they say. And Jamie is much of the same opinion Billy is - that time should help here.

Renne seems very determined, though, to try and force the issue, and Jamie flicks a glance back and forth between Adam and Billy.

He clears his throat. "Ah...how are ye suggesting getting this Harmony-thing back, then?"

Adam threw a stern look, a rare thing for him, at Billy. "We are looking at you without seeing what your other self did, Billy. At least, I am. It wouldn't be the first time a Ranger has been under a spell, you know."

Yes, his arm was in a sling. Yes, it was by Billy's hand. But it still hadn't actually been Billy who had done it. He looked to Jamie and Renne and then to Billy.

"How do we get it back?"

Billy instinctively flinched under Adam's gaze, not associating the meaning of the words with the expression right away. He knew he was being scolded for something, but what?

Not the first time a Ranger has been under a spell? But...

And suddenly, as if a large green dragon had just bowled him over, Billy understood. This was noted on his face by the look of hurt and confusion changing into an approximation of 'my goodness, I've been remarkably unintelligent lately'.

"Tommy," he whispered. "I've seen this happen from the other side before. My friend Tommy, one of the other Power Rangers," Billy added as clarification for Jamie and Renne as an afterthought. "He appeared devastated when he first woke up next to Jason---I remember now. But we offered him unconditional forgiveness, because Rita was our mutual enemy and the evil Green Ranger's actions weren't his choice. We always wanted to help him."

Here, he paused. His mind wanted to explain why his situation and Tommy's were different---Tommy had no forewarning that he would be drawn into danger, casting a spell wasn't the same as failing to win over nightmares---but with his three friends staring at him like that, he knew those arguments wouldn't succeed.

"Thus, by instantly extending forgiveness to Tommy but failing to do the same for myself, I've acted hypocritically." Billy buried his head in his hands with a groan, plopping unceremoniously onto the ground. Forgive him. He needs a moment to work through the ramifications of exactly how big an idiot he's been.

How do we get it back?

It's a question he'd prepared for as best he could but with only his own knowledge to go on, the creature's skin briefly flashes a kind of goldenrod.

And then Billy's emotion hits like a hurricane's eye-wall. And his skin goes nuts. Still, the creature forges on, well past the point of no return.

He hopes none of the Humans get angry enough to kill him later on.

"RRrr-enne be-lieve...Show Bee. Show sel-f. Wi-th mo-rrre th-an worrrd. Worrrd....noh ahl-ways hol-d Ahll trrroof." He's not calling the Humans liars here. He is aware however, that English in all its seeming simplicity for native speakers, has layers and nuances that sometimes, can hide even unconscious thought or feeling.

He balances carefully on his two big feet, then sits on his almost-rear. Both hand/paws extend out and...wait, why is he not entirely solid-looking?

"Do trrrus-t?"

Question of the century, isn't it?

It's easier to forgive others than yourself, sometimes. Everyone, though, needs to figure that out for themselves, and it's not always immediately something that's evident. It seems Billy's figured it out on some level now. As has Jamie, who ahs softly. Knowing that this had happened to one of Billy's other friends before does help fill in some gaps as to the others reactions.

"Look, ye didna realize it right away, so ye were being hard on yourself. I can understand that, aye? But Adam's right. Ye were under a spell. It wasna you."

And then Renne interjects, offering to have Bee show them the truth. Jamie glances over at the wee blue beastie, about to ask how - and his eyes widen a bit as he sees that the creature has gone a bit insubstantial.

Well, that's...different.

"I think I'm starting to see that now," Billy adds shakily, lowering his hands and peering up at the others.

Renne's attempt to Transcend surprises him. Remembering well what had happened during the Documentation, Billy tries to imagine what the imp must be feeling. The tumultuous emotions within him, whatever worry the others might feel at being unable to pull him away from guilt...facing what they truly felt was a somewhat terrifying prospect. But to fix the discord, it might just be necessary.

"Renne intends to bring us to a state of merged consciousness," Billy explains to pre-empt any alarm from the other two humans. "It's a simple and painless process that I've undergone several times with no damage done, don't worry about that. Once there, we'll have the option of sharing the truth with each other---not just with words, but with emotion as well. That mode of communication is more accurate than talking, but it presents a risk and reward---it's impossible to lie. If we trust each other, though, harmony will be restored. At least...I think that's what Renne is attempting."

Billy peers at Renne once more, then at his human friends. "Well...what do you think?"

((Temp. posting order change. You can go again if you want, Beth, we want to see if the two humans are okay with this before continuing.))

Edited 2010-03-28 21:58 (UTC)

Jamie doesn't really know what to think. He's not alarmed in the slightest - because he's not entirely sure he's following what Billy is saying.

"Merged...what?"

He doesn't really know what process his friend is talking about - perhaps if the Doctor were here Jamie would be able to ask him more about it. But he's not, and Jamie will just have to go by what he's given. He doesn't have a problem with having to tell the truth in this case. It's not like he hasn't been honest with Billy, after all. And Billy did say it was painless, with no damage done. How bad could it be?

He shrugs, not really seeing anything wrong with the offer. "Well, all right, if ye think it'll help."

Billy understands far more about this than perhaps he might give himself credit for.

And knowing this, Renne allows himself to smile despite his own moment of trepidation. He had, after all, never Transcended much in front of anyone, let alone guided more than a single contact into or through his own soulscape.
Still, he breathes and allows himself to Speak, permitting this eerie, harmonised voice of his to be heard by the human ear. His first request is all at once odd, logical and necessary -- for all that he can do, he's not learned enough to guide a group of individuals without interconnected physical contact to signify a group.

"Touch, each o-ther, that One may find thee as Self and as Clan."

First, his own 'scape opens up to Billy. Naturally, the trust in his Bonded is this complete and naturally thus, he is the first. The most familiar with who-and-what Renne is.
Then, that eerie voice speaks again, calmly yet somehow distantly. He's here as a guide. Little more than that and each individual's soulscape is as different as each Human personality before him. Into each, he intends to guide them, that the self and the others here, might understand more clearly that which they feel.

"Be-gin here, on neu-tral ground. Find thee, as thee are. But care, take. Ground in thee, sa-cred. Treat as this, and un-der-stand, Un-truth not live here."

His last spoken words are both advice and a warning. Deceit doesn't exist in any form on levels this deep. Lies take no shape here in the place-time-state which goes so far beyond intellect and past sheer instinct. Here, he must let them learn their own soulscapes. Learn them. Navigate them. Understand them.

And then, when they know themselves, he waits until they are ready to know each other.

"Right." Now that both agree, despite the wariness over this new experience, the trio can proceed with Renne's help. Heeding the imp's instructions, Billy gestures for the other two to sit in front of him, forming a small circle. "You might want to sit down. Moving to another level of consciousness while standing isn't recommended."

Whether they sit or not, Billy reaches for their hands and closes his eyes. It will be easier for Renne if they follow his example, so he gives the two of them a few moments to mirror him. Shortly after, the new scene opens and his 'soul', as he'd come to call it, is standing in the quiet, sunny outdoor memorial that is Renne's soulscape. Though breathing isn't necessary here, he does so out of habit. It's peaceful here.

Of course, he can't forget why they're here. To reach an understanding with themselves and each other. Soon enough, the other two should appear here---and when they do, he'll have to show them the true extent of the ordeal and the damage it caused, as they'll show him.

Billy will trust Renne in this matter. And now he waits---to answer questions, to reveal truths, to heal.

Edited 2010-03-30 00:56 (UTC)

Sitting sounds like a fine idea to Jamie, and he does so, taking a moment to get comfortable. Following the example of the others, he too takes their hands and closes his eyes.

He wasn't sure what to expect, but the place he finds himself in seems peaceful enough. It may not stay that way, but for the moment he'll take the chance to settle in as he tries to figure out what is going on.

Of course, part of that involves curious glances around their surroundings. It seems the seventeen million questions he usually has aren't following just yet - mostly because he's not entirely sure how you would voice a question while in this state. Jamie's just going to look, for now, and take in as much as he can that way.

Billy always enjoys communicating in this manner with Renne. Not just because it is easier to share memories in images than words, especially given that his descriptions tend toward the loquacious end of the scale, but because the view inside another's soul is...magnificent. Not that it is strictly a view---the sensations are more than that---but his human brain processes it in a manner that was very similar to the physical world. So it's Renne's glen he stands in, tranquil and sad.

He doesn't have to wait long before Jamie appears, looking as though he has much to ask. Remembering well that soulscapes were a novel experience for most humans and that a person needs time to adjust. Billy waits a minute while Jamie looks around. Eventually, the pause in the conversation pressures Billy into talking.

Hey Jamie, he says simply, representation of a mouth moving just as though this were the physical world. That's all Jamie has to do---no extra thought or special process to it. Just decide you're going to say it,and it's said. I suppose Renne's taking some more time to ease Adam into the trance. This is Renne's soulscape, by the way, he adds, glancing at the statue that represented the memory of Renne's other Bonded.

He brought us here to adjust on neutral ground before we move into our own soulscapes. I'll bring both of you into mine once Adam gets here, and then we can visit yours if you'd like to. The prospect scares him a little, and Jamie might be able to pick up on that while in here. Not the 'visiting theirs' part, but showing them his---where the inner battle had been fought and the damage done during the nightmare. A former battlefield still being cleaned up.

((You can tag here to get Jamie's questions answered if you want. Manders, if you're reading, you can go whenever you have time. I'll try not to go too far without you.))

Jamie's head tilts slightly as he watches Billy "speak", then understanding dawns. It seems to be more or less like regular talking, but perhaps somewhat easier to understand. He decides to give it a try.

Like this? He's clearly pleased when it actually works. Hey, that's easy!

Now that that's settled, he can focus on the area they're in a little bit more intently. He follows the glance over to the statue, studying it while he tries to sort his questions into something more like actual questions and less like a jumbled mess of 'WhoWhatWhereWhenHow?'

After a moment, though, he does pick up on that faint thread of fear. His attention refocuses on Billy, and he looks at him thoughtfully for a moment. Why would Billy be scared? Unless...well. First things first.

Soulscape? So...this is Renne's soul, then? He's a bit uncertain if he's understanding that correctly - he's never really pictured a soul as having this definitive of a setting. What's the statue for?

Right, but Renne prefers not to phrase it that way. He's different---to him, there's no distinction between body, mind, and soul. And to be honest, I'm not sure whether there is either. This is all relatively new to me still, and defies any scientific understanding. Sheepishness is the dominant emotion coming from Billy now. He'd tried to phrase it in familiar analytical terms before, but nothing had quite made sense.

He kneels reverently in front of the statue. This is Pen, a very close friend of Renne's who died some time ago. They had a special bond. Brief pain flickered around Billy as he recalled what little he knew of Pen, then continued. Since his death, Renne's found it very difficult to trust humans. When we met, he was afraid of me---but we soon moved past that.

It's almost funny to think about that now, considering how close the two of them have grown. Turning back to Jamie, he adds pointedly:

And he's not the only unlikely friend I've made. Anyway, Adam should be here any moment. Then we'll discuss things in my soulscape. I hope you'll pardon the mess.

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Catharsis

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