trans_9 | Cut 'em out, ride 'em in. [Open]

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Cut 'em out, ride 'em in. [Open]

Even captains need their moments of rest and relaxation. Kirk had retreated to the Sensoriums to try and catch his breath and ease some of the tension from the past few months. This ship was draining, sometimes in the extreme. Not for the first time he missed Enterprise. She had been his ship, for better or for worse and now that she was gone, he found he missed her more then ever. That didn't even account for the crew. Sulu, McCoy, Uhura, Scotty, Chekov - he wished he had them here right now. Their advice and support would meant quite a lot. As it was, Spock had recently arrived, but he seemed different somehow. Something he hadn't been able to put his finger on yet.

Kirk sighed to himself and finished saddling his (virtual) horse. The whole affair with Roxie Schreiber had gotten too far out of control. He'd reacted instead of letting himself think. He'd overstepped his boundaries. In one smooth motion, he slip up onto the horse, settling himself in the saddle. An apology to the crew at large was probably in order. They had a trust in him that he'd violated to a certain degree. He just wished that some of them returned that trust.

Giving up was out of the question, though. There was no such thing as a no-win situation. With a click of his tongue, Kirk flicked the reins and set the horse out into a steady trot. Ahead of him were rolling hills and blue skies. A beautiful day for a ride.

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"Then they will die," he answered. It might be a little chilling just how easily the man said it. It was like it was a foregone conclusion that could not be changed, something that must be accepted.

"It is the nature of free will, something I understand humans hold in great regard. You are all free to make your decisions, to shape your own destinies, but you must all accept the consequences of those decisions. That is the price of free will."

Kirk's grip tightened on the reins. "Even if they would only get themselves killed, I would still try to save them. As it is... I worry that not only will this bickering get people hurt, it will mean that we fail. That all of creation is destroyed. That's not a price I'm willing to pay."

Castiel stopped, suddenly, frozen by something the captain had said. He was silent a moment then looked up at the man who was the ship's leader. "You believe the lie as well?" he asked, almost sounding disappointed.

"As of now, I've no reason to believe it is a lie." He glanced down at Castiel, quirking a brow again. "So far, everything seems to be consistent with the story we've been given. Until proven otherwise, I don't think we can risk acting as if it's untrue."

Castiel nodded and resumed walking alongside Kirk. "Your lack of faith is disappointing," he admitted.

"Lack of faith of what? I believe in some form of a higher power, if that's what you mean." He did. He just wasn't strictly a traditional Judeo-Christian.

"I mean your own instincts," Castiel replied. Though Kirk's lack of faith in God was also disturbing, that tact had not proved very fruitful with anyone thus far, not even the Winchesters. "You have been told by the Daligig that their enemy destroyed your universes. No one has any memory of these universes being destroyed and you have only the word of the Daligig and their ship, a ship capable of erasing and altering memory to suit its purposes, as 'proof.'"

He paused a moment.

"Doubt is something I am only just beginning to feel and even I find this difficult to accept."

"My instincts are telling me they're probably telling the truth." He glanced down at Castiel again. "What do you think we should be doing, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Not giving in to despair," Castiel replied. "And asking yourself why you believe everything you have been told. Have your instincts not told you there is something wrong? Members of the crew disappear, are forgotten, and only remembered when they return. Has it occurred to you that, perhaps, the only reason you, a rational human, willingly accept everything the Daligig have told you is because their ship, a ship that has made no secret its ability and willingness to manipulate your minds, wants you to?"

He paused again.

"I have watched mankind for over two-thousand years. I recall a man, in your history, who led an entire nation into war and convinced them to commit great sins against their neighbors. When it was over, millions of your brethren had been slaughtered. And he did this simply by controlling the information. Your people then spent centuries wondering why no one had asked questions, why they had been so quick to believe everything they were told.

"'Doubt' is what makes you human, Captain. It is the source of your justice and your mercy. When you ignore it, you lose that. It is, perhaps, the greatest gift your kind ever received. Do not abandon it so quickly. The lives of billions may depend on that single emotion."

"I'm hardly giving in to despair," Kirk replied, "I'm trying to fight. I'm trying to make sure this crew is ready for whatever we happen to encounter, whether it's hostile or not. If what you say is true and they're manipulating our minds, making us believe, they could just as easily brainwash all of us and make us forget who we really are, turn us into the perfect soldiers. But they haven't they've let us retain the memories of our worlds, of our people."

He turned the horse, taking a deep breath. The scent of earth and grass, clean air. He missed this, from time to time.

"Doubt is a useful tool, but it shouldn't control everything. If I began to doubt my instincts and myself, I wouldn't make a very good captain. If I doubt my decisions, if I second-guess myself, I'll fail. And for me, failure isn't an option."

He grinned. "I'll make it through this, one way or another. If the Daligig ae lying to us, we'll deal with them. And if they're not? Well, then we have the Ohm on our hands. Your advice is welcome, but I'll stick with my instincts for now. However..."

Kirk chuckled. "You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I'd appreciate your input from time to time."

"As long as the Winchesters choose to remain on board, I will help you when I can. All I ask is that you consider more deeply whether the path you are leading the crew down is the right one. Because, if you are wrong, you may find changing course to be much more difficult than you thought," he said, sounding rather ominous as he tried to sway Kirk against continuing the hasty choice to trust the Daligig. "And by the time you realize the error, everyone on this ship may already be damned."

"Do I truly have another choice? We've no way off of this vessel and tampering with her internal systems seems to lead to rather nasty consequences. Until we find some other way of transporting ourselves, we're at the whim of Stacy."

He looked grim. "And I'm not about to abandon everyone in the pods in any case."

"There is always a choice, Captain. If you did not believe that, you would have not accepted the position of leader. I would simply prefer you make the choice to doubt, not yourself, but this ship and its masters."

"I don't trust them. Not entirely. They were performing hideous experiments on people and on things that should've been better left alone. I have the distinct feeling we were 'rescued' so we could be used as weapons," Kirk shook his head, "Unfortunately, if they're telling the truth about the Ohm, they're a far greater threat."

"That is a big if, Captain," Castiel pointed out, especially since they seemed to have no information of the Ohm other than what came from Daligig sources, an alien race that the captain himself just admitted didn't occupy the moral high-ground.

"It is. But if they're lying, why are we here? For what purpose? I want to discover these things just as much as you do. If you can give me proof either way, I'd gladly accept it. As it is, I have to weigh the options. If I don't believe them and it turns out they're right we might lose all of existence. If they weren't telling the truth, well... we've no idea what they intend to do with us."

"I have no more proof that they are lying than you do that they are not," Castiel replied. It wasn't likely to make Kirk's decision--or anyone's for that matter--any easier but it would, hopefully, give them pause to consider it further. "What I do know is that Existence is not in jeopardy. God would not permit it."

"I'm not sure God has anything to do with it. There are a lot of things God shouldn't permit, at least in theory and according to certain sects of religions. That doesn't mean he's actually going to intervene." He leaned back in his saddle, staring out over the rolling landscape.

"He already has," Cas stated, rather confidently, in fact. There was something about the way he said it, his tone, the expression--or lack thereof--on his face, that would suggest that he not only believed it but that he somehow knew it.

"Well, divine intervention or not, I'd rather take matters into my own hands," Kirk retorted, "We've got a lot of work to do just to survive. My primary concern is keeping us together and making sure we all live through this."

Castiel lowered his gaze for a moment, staring at the false ground at his feet before looking back up at Kirk and nodded. "There is dissension amongst your people," he agreed and the choice of 'your people' rather than 'the crew' was intentional. "Might I offer advice, one warrior to another?"

"I know..." Kirk patted the horse again as it lowered its head to nibble at the grass. "Honestly, I'll take whatever advice you care to give."

"In order to lead this crew, you must first be part of it," he said plainly. "Distance will not earn you their trust, nor them yours. They are suspicious of you and the rest of the command staff, they do not trust you for the same reason you do not trust God, because they do not know you. So, like you, they choose to take matters into their own hands."

The angel paused as he prepared to say something that an obedient angel ought not to.

"You and your lieutenants must not make the same mistake He did. No one can afford it."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you."

Kirk nodded sincerely. He meant it, too.

Cas returned the nod.

"You know how to reach me if you need me," he offered. Then, just as suddenly as he appeared, he was gone again.

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Cut 'em out, ride 'em in. [Open]

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