A Loss Without a Name

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Katara was by herself. Despite all the things she was doing to make sure she would be in a better state, something seemed to weigh heavy on her just now, and she breathed hard now. She wasn't sure what to call that feeling: it was like there were memories that she made, and they were gone now. It made her think of Aang first, who's memories still needed to be regained. She thought of Nanoha and Fate, and how the fight must be hurting them both. She thought of Toph, and Zuko and Mai and Sokka, and how she wanted to make sure they weren't hurt. The feeling of being unable to help her friends and her family on this ship surfaced every now and again, and at these times Katara retreated to the WITCH bus, and went straight for the water room.

This time, she headed for Kiyoshi island minus the Unagi, via Sensorium. She preferred the company of the giant Koi fish usually, but this time it was very quiet, and Katara was sitting by herself, looking out into the ocean. So much was happening at once, and it would be necessary to have a clear mind for the things that were going to happen next. That meant dwelling on the things that weighed heaviest on her, so the Nightmare King couldn't use it against her.

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[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

(http://s53.photobucket.com/albums/g56/shaungarin/witch/?action=view&current=matt52copy.png)

The door was ajar as Matt passed by, noticing a familiar form sitting there. Shifting his guitar that he wore on his back, he slipped into the Sensoriums and sat down on a nearby bench.

She looked so deep in thought he almost didn't want to disturb her.

Then, a thought came to him as he unhooked his guitar. He was hoping Will would sing this but...

And he started to play, the music a gentle sequence of notes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2taik1sZxU4) as he lift his voice.

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Katara lifted her head a little when she heard this. When she turned and saw Matt, she grinned in spite of herself. He really was the perfect boyfriend to balance Will's natural bounciness with a quiet calm she envied a little bit. At the same time,s he also knew that if there was an attack and he needed her help, she'd be at his side in an instant.

"That's very pretty," she said, her voice a little lower than usual. "You have a very nice voice. What brings you over here, Matt? I figured you might be on the WITCH bus, or with Will."

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

"Sometimes even I can't sleep," replied Matt as he shift his guitar to the side. "But you know me, always looking out for people."

"And so I started to wander with the guitar, and found you here." He got up and walked over to sit down next to Katara. "Besides, even I need to get out of the bus once in a while."

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

"Me neither," Katara admitted, "At least, not lately. Have a lot of things on my mind though. And today, I dunno, I just have a feeling like I'm forgetting something, like, good memories. I don't know why I feel that way, I just do."

She shook her head. There were really no words to explain why she felt like something was missing, a person she knew once. She didn't get it herself.

"It doesn't surprise me to see you here, actually," Katara said. "Somehow, you seem to always be around when I'm in a bad mood. Normally, I would go on the bus, but I don't know...I wanted to see a part of my world today."

She looked out in the ocean. "This is one of the first places we ever visited: Kiyoshi Island."

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

(http://s53.photobucket.com/albums/g56/shaungarin/witch/?action=view&current=matt39copy.png)

"It's beautiful," admitted Matt as he watched the water play across the beach, the quiet serenity of Kiyoshi Island, all of it. "And um, about showing up when you need help..."

He ducked his head and blushed. "Has anyone told you about an ability called Empathy? Basically I can sense emotions, and my psychic conditioning is so good that I can hear thoughts from other worlds... but the last part hasn't piped up."

"When I get to know people I can, for a lack of a better explanation, sense if they're in a mood. I suppose it's what keeps me all calm too, being able to know if people are getting down so I can go help them." He looked at Katara and he quirked a smile. "I guess it means we're friends. I can't sense just anyone's emotions like that."

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," Katara said, smiling a little. "We didn't get to spend that long of a time there, what with the locals practically worshiping Aang and Zuko coming after us, but it was pretty tranquil if you were able to avoid the Unagi."

Katara did look a little startled at first, but relaxed when he continued. Honestly, she was starting to suspect he might have a power like this. "For some reason, I'm not to surprised Matt. It's weird...when I met Will, she had this really, well, pink aura to her. She was very sweet, and she'd go on about you a lot. So when we finally met, I thought you had to be pretty special. I was right."

She smiled. "I'm glad we're friends too, and believe me, you have no idea how happy I am that you consider me friends. And you know, if I had that strength, I think I'd try doing the same thing."

She closed her hands around her knees, sighing. "Every once and awhile, I just get a little overwhelmed. All of these things happen to good friends of mine that I can't control, and getting ready for it myself. And then I just get this feeling I'm forgetting something, that I should be sad but I don't know why."

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

"The lack of something, the sensation of missing things, believe me I know the feeling," agreed Matt as he balanced his guitar on his lap. "Everyone gets overwhelmed by life, either it be saving the world, daily life or just trying to prepare for craziness."

"At the same time, I too wonder if my efforts have been enough so far," he added, running a hand through the sand and pulling a handful up into his fingers to let the grains drizzle through his fingers. "I've been trying really hard to keep an eye on everything, I sometimes forget about my own needs too. But the here and now keeps me from feeling selfish, you know?"

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Katara was glad that Matt was here even more now. She sometimes thought that she was alone, despite being surrounded by so many good people and chastising herself for acting as if she really had anything to worry about. She couldn't escape the idea that maybe she was just anxious for attention, that maybe she shouldn't even by moping in here. But then again, to be stronger, she had to make sure she would be able to balance her joy with her pain, right? And that feeling today...it wasn't as if she could really accurately explain why she had to in the first place.

"I have an honest question to ask you, Matt. I've really wanted to help Nanoha, to make an effort to get the crew prepared. Am I trying too hard to get stronger? I mean, I know I SHOULD be trying, and I know that I have to try even harder because I'm training to be stronger to begin with. But the strain is getting pretty apparent. I don't know, I'm just a ball of nerves today I guess."

Katara shook her head. "But you don't really get to stay selfish, if that's what you're so worried about. I mean, to be honest, I really don't see a selfish bone in your body: you take care of Will, the bus, Rein and all of the people on the bus. I would never have gotten to reach as many people without you."

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

(http://s53.photobucket.com/albums/g56/shaungarin/witch/?action=view&current=matt41copy.png)

Matt contemplated the question, turning it over in his head. "Getting stronger doesn't necessarily mean that you need to be prepared to the nines. Admittedly, it would be nice if we could just level up instantly and be prepared for this."

"But I think it's less of a method of hardening our minds and souls, than getting strong here." And he thumped his chest. "In the heart. Getting stronger means not only you're learning the things you need to learn, but also the things you need to learn how to do for others. And that's why we're reaching out to people, giving them the hope and courage we can. One step at a time."

He smiled as he picked up a handful of sand. "Like the sand for instance. You think it's alone if you see a single grain. But then you look at the thousands in a single handful, all united in a purpose. And soon, that purpose becomes glass, a solid reflective surface that manages to keep the world, and people, together."

"So no, I don't think you're trying to get stronger for the sake of getting stronger. You're getting stronger because you're doing it for others. Make any sense?"

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

Sheeana's Fremen instincts blared at her when she walked onto the beach. The scent of so much water flooded up through her nostrils. She breathed in, tried to focus.

She was adjusting, slowly. The humidity in the air no longer clogged her lungs. She no longer experienced the near overwhelming urge to lick at or seal up spare moisture.

She inhaled deeply, and centered herself. The sand, however, felt very natural underfoot and she wished for a moment to remove her suit and dance across it.

Her student was there, looking rather dejected. She knelt. "What is wrong?"

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Katara looked up and gave her teacher a small nod. "Oh, hi Sheeana! I didn't hear you come in." She paused. "Well, I was just meditating on some feelings I've had this week, and I had this idea that I'd forgotten someone I care about. I don't know why I have it but I decided to come here to reflect on things."

She reached down, grabbing some of the sand and letting it trickle between her fingers. "We came to this island a few times, but I never got to relax here aside from getting to eat and then gathering supplies. I thought I could use some scenery, and this place came to mind. It's actually really relaxing, and you can see a statue of the avatar that created this island, Kiyoshi."

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

"That our minds are effected by higher powers in this place is undoubable. Investigating that is...on my list." That damnable long list. She kept the wording ambiguous. This was Stacy's domain after all.

Sheeana boggled a little. "An entire island? Surely you mean some kind of terraforming?" Did Katara's world even have that kind of technology?

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Katara shook her head. "I don't like that feeling, sister. It sounds too much like what they did to Aang to make him docile for them: they removed parts of his memory where they forced him to do what they wanted. I had a friend who was brainwashed before I came here, and have dealt with situations where people are able to manipulate the thoughts of someone else. That bothers me."

Katara looked questioning for a minute, then realized what Sheeana was saying. "Oh! Yes, actually, it is more terraforming. At the time she lived, there was a tyrannical Earth King emperor, Chin the conqueror. He wanted to conquer all of the Earth Nation at a time where the earth King was unpopular, and she separated this place from the mainland to prevent the village from being conquered. In his anger he remained on the edge of a cliff that crumbled beneath him and he drowned."

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

Sheeana pitched her voice to a reassuring level. "We are uniquely equipped to deal with this situation. We have mental tools others don't have and I have my mothers-within. As soon as we are finished with this nightmare crisis we can start the process of returning what was lost from us."

It was difficult to see when a Reverend Mother was rolling her eyes. It took a moment to make out their pupils. This was definitely what Sheeana did though. "Oh i'm sure he just remained there on the cliff edge. Nevertheless, not an action I can disapprove of." It was a little unsubtle by Bene Gesserit standards but without Voice or Imprinting, it definitely sounded like the best solution to the problem.

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Katara actually was really happy to hear that, although she hoped that Stacy wasn't able to override what skill the Bene Gesserit had. She didn't doubt that things on the ship were subject to the influences of Stacy, especially if she had the ability to bring them all there. She didn't say this to her teacher though: for all she knew, she might be wrong.

Katara laughed. "Actually, that was exactly what he did. Chin didn't believe that Kyoshi would go that far to prevent him from taking all of the Earth Nation kingdom. In truth, there were few that would have believed the Fire Nation would have gone as far as they did in trying to conquer all of the other nations. Unfortunately, the Air Nomads and the Southern Water Benders would learn different. But for what he was doing...yes, I guess that it would be a good idea to stop him in any way they could."

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

"Sic semper tyrannis." Sheeana responded with a shrug and recalled what Duncan had told her of killing Leto. Assassins were useful so long as they didn't become like the ones they assassinated...which happened far too often. "Perhaps not very subtle...a Bene Gesserit would have imprinted him so we could steer him in a different direction...but effective. The God-Emperor in my universe died in much the same way."

She listened to that laugh, replayed it in her minds. It had the quality of chimes. "You have a very pretty laugh. I can understand why the Avatar is taken with you." For once not an attempt at manipulation or a lesson, just an honest observation.

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Sick semper tie ran us? What did that mean? She would have to remember to ask Sheeana later: was this another one of these Earth sayings on her world she didn't know about? There really was a lot that she had to learn about. "I don't think an Avatar would want to do something like that, although I'm sure that they would think about it, if it would serve the world in a good way. Some people can be very dangerous."

And here, despite her training, Katara had not expected to hear that from Sheeana. She did color a little, but gave her a smile. "Thank you Sheeana. That actually means a lot coming from you."

[metalbent.livejournal.com]

Toph had been staying in the background for most of this. It wasn't on purpose, really; these large scale conflicts and insidious plots to destroy everything weren't her cup of tea.

None of them had been as straightforward as defeating Melon Fire Lord Ozai back home. The things that happened here were multi-layered, multi-facteted, and took a lot of investigation to fully understand.

Toph wasn't an investigator. You simply pointed her at the bad guys and told her to fight.

Some might chalk it up to a twelve-year-old's limited attention span. Toph knew that that wasn't truly the case - she knew what was going on, but she had immense difficulties actually understanding.

She picked around the fake beach that lacked a fake unagi, dwelling on all of this. She knew Katara was about, but she wasn't too sure what to say, or how to bring this up.

Maybe she needed to get out more. But how could you do -that- on a space-ship?

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Katara, while she usually had to look up to identify who was approaching, didn't have to when it came to Toph. By now she was used to Toph's almost silent footsteps, so with those new slippers it was a definite difference. With them being roommates, Katara had grown to recognize those footsteps fairly well..

For the moment, she decided to forget about her troubles: Toph, after all, tended to still be a little awkward in this place and she scolded herself silently for not helping when she could. This was yet again another thing that all of this preparation for the Nightmare King pulled her away from. What was more, she ought to have been training Toph more when it came to things that could possibly give her nightmares.

"Hey Toph," she said, trying to break out of her gloom. "How are you doing?"

[metalbent.livejournal.com]

"Eh," Toph said noncommitally. "It's okay."

Sure, the nightmares were kinda creepy, but she could deal with them well enough.

"How about you? I noticed you sneak away a lot."

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

"Oh", Katara said, but really, she should have known better. Toph wasn't the type to usually get all touchy feely when it came to her feelings, and though she expected that (as she should), she wished the girl could tell her a little more about how she's feeling. She didn't like the idea of leaving Toph by herself or ignoring her: she was one of the first female friends she made.

Katara sighed. "I get pretty busy. Between reparations for the Nightmare King, the training for being a Bene Gesserit and then training in the WITCH bus...I guess I don;t really get to stay in the same place. That, and well, I don't really like sleeping too much these days Toph."

Which, if Toph could see, she has a very noticeable bags under her eyes and tousled hair.

[metalbent.livejournal.com]

"I've seen what happens when you don't sleep," Toph said mildly. "It's not a good thing. Nightmares or not, you need to be well-rested."

Seriously.

Seriously.

She remembered the incident with a sleep-deprived Aang back home. She hoped she'd never see Katara that manic or crazy.

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Katara nodded, grinning. "I'd like to think I got a little better now than I used to be. But if the Magical Department isn't getting much sleep, then I won't either. They're doing a lot for us: I want them to know that I'm giving the same effort."

She sighed. "Have you had any Nightmares at all?"

[metalbent.livejournal.com]

"None that I can remember," she said offhandedly.

Which was true. She never really remembered what had her waking up, screaming.

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

"Okay," Katara said, looking anxiously at Toph. "I worry Toph. Sorry."

She smiled. "Well, how are you otherwise?"