trans_9 | High As A Kite [R for Language] [Open]

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High As A Kite [R for Language] [Open]

Sawyer had been avoiding the city ever since Bella had told him that the Vatican had been all but destroyed during the fighting with the zombies. No one had died, which Sawyer--rather immodestly--accredited to himself and all the work he put in getting the basilica ready for just that kind of occasion. But with the basilica trashed, Sawyer had lost the spot on the ship that he had adopted as his own little castle--even if other, more religious crew members had tried to mosey in on his turf. So, in an effort to familiarize himself with some of the newly opened areas of the ship, Sawyer had been walking around and poking his head into the command deck, engineering, neuropathy, and, eventually, the flight deck.

He spent at least an hour wandering around the deck, looking at all the different fighters, bombers, mechs, frigates, and shuttles before his eyes landed on something that most definitely didn't seem to belong. In one untouched corner of the flight deck stood an object covered up with a protective tarp. It wasn't large, especially in comparison to all the other machines around it. It, in fact, looked rather reminiscent in size to a normal vehicle from Earth.

With furrowed brow, Sawyer wandered over to the "mysterious" vehicle and cautiously took hold of the tarp and gave it a sharp tug only to reveal....

THE MYSTERY MACHINE!!!

Sawyer's mouth fell open as he stared in utter shock at the van in front of him. "No. Fucking. Way," he said, his eyes wide with awe. It was really... No it couldn't be... But it was... It was really the goddamn Mystery Machine.

"Hot damn!" Sawyer hooted as he grabbed the handle on the door and tugged it open--it was unlocked, surprisingly--and started searching for the keys to get the damn thing started. He was gonna be driving the fuckin' Mystery Machine. At least, he would be as soon as he found the keys. He checked the visor--nothing. Under the driver's seat--nothing. Under the passenger seat--nothing. The glove compart...

He had no more than opened the glove compartment when Sawyer's mouth dropped open yet again. He'd found the keys, finally, sitting right smack on top of a large bag of pot--complete with rolling papers--that had been stuffed into the glove box.

"Holy fucking Scooby snack," Sawyer hooted, again.

An hour or so later, anyone stopping by the hangar deck would find Sawyer, driving in circles in an empty corner of the hangar at five miles at hour. The windows were rolled up, and a cloud of smoke filled the vehicle as the meatship's resident a$$hole puffed away on something that was not a cigarette.

[OOC: Please keep to one thread. Thank you!!!]

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"Yeeeeeaaaah. That's the one," Sawyer said with a big nod and an even bigger grin. "I mean, come on, she likes me, she really likes you...and we've got a big bag of weed. She'll love us."

Tony grinned. Fantastic idea. Beautiful idea. Sawyer, you are the best and he loves you man. He lifted his comm ring and tapped on it, "Alright... Hey. Kate... Kate, you there? It's me, Tony. Kate. Kaaaaaate. Kate."

Kate lifted her comm, and stared at it.

"I'm here, Tony. Uh what's going on?" And why do you sound drunk?

"I am not drunk," he replied, laughing into his comm ring, "Listen, Kate. You know how much I love you right? Listen. I need you to go to the media library and get some tunes. Pink Floyd. Whatever. Good stuff."

He paused, looking at Sawyer and mouthed, "Any suggestions?" before going back to rambling at poor, befuddled Kate, "And after you get the tunes, bring 'em down to the hanger deck. It'll be great."

Red Snout had heard the noise of some sort of engine and had thusly come to investigate. What he saw confused the velociraptor totally. A box-like human vehicle driving very slowly in circles, the windows clouded with smoke. He approached cautiously, sniffing. There was asickly sweet, cloying smell. Hn. He moved over to the moving vehicle, easily keeping pace, and tapped imperiously on the window.

"What are you doing?"

"Afroman," Sawyer said to Tony, only to be distracted by the sound of tapping on his window. Rolling it down, a big cloud of pot-smoke billowed out right into the raptor's face.

"Driiiiving," Sawyer answered with a big grin. "Wanna come?"

Red Snout almost tripped as the thick smoke smacked him right in the snout. He coughed, shaking his head as the stuff fogged his sense for a moment. The human contraption, brightly colored though it was, was certainly intriguing.

"...I suppose I might ride for a short while."

Tony blinked at the raptor slowly, then at Sawyer and finally nodded, "...fuck. Yes." Carefully, he clambered into the back and opened up the rear doors, "Jump in, man."

Best. Day. Ever.

"What's going on?"

Lash had been planning on using that hanger to do a few tests with her newest inventions, thank-you-very-much. She most certainly wasn't expecting a van that looked like it would get blown up the minute it stepped into a war zone. What a bunch of utterly tacky colors, but was there really a mysterious machine inside? Curiosity got the better of her and she stepped forward, only to gag and cough.

The smell. The smell. Black Hole, which being a war nation bent on taking over the world certainly wasn't the type to have pot fields, so the substance was completely alien to her. She grimaced and blocked her nose watching the van turn around in circles repeatedly.

"Gross."

Red Snout clambered into the back of the Mystery Machine, carefully laying his rifle on the bottom of the vehicle. It was quite smoky in here. Were they performing some sort of ritual? He cocked his head to one side.

"What is the purpose of the smoke?" The scent was somewhere almost sickening, but had a cloying sweetness all the same. "It makes it difficult to see. And to breathe."

The raptor coughed.

"The purpose," Sawyer began to answer--pausing to light up another joint, take hit, and then hand it back to the raptor--still grinning. "Is allooootta fun."

Then, glancing over his shoulder at Lash, he called out her. "In or out?"

Tony flopped back into his seat with a grin. Talking raptors. Pot. His girlfriend bringin' down some tunes. Today was a most excellent day. He folded his arms behind his head and glanced out the window at Lash, "...come on! It'll be fun!"

If her eyes could have rolled out of her sockets, she would have. Lash wasn't the most mature person, but the smell was seriously making her gag and she had honestly no idea what was going on except these people seemed to be utterly happy about it.

But she really wanted to know what the mysterious machine was....decisions decisions. She did enjoy fun things too...

"Alright. I'm in...in what exactly?"

"You are in...," Sawyer replied, waiting for the door to close and rolling up his window before they got in motion again. "...the Happy-Mobile," he finished with a giggle.

Red Snout coughed again after inhaling some of the noxious smoke from the bundle of herbs that Sawyer had passed him. Obviously it was some sort of bonding ritual amongst human males, and now that he was involved Red Snout felt it would be rude to upset their religious customs. Besides...he was way too relaxed to want interrupt anything right now.

"This human vehicle is. It is quite colorful. Yes."

"The Happy-Mobile. Land of dreams."

Tony nodded in agreement with Sawyer, "...we're just waiting on the music, really. Because we can't do this properly without tunes."

He nodded at Lash and Red Snout, "...I'm Tony, by the way."

"Does the so-called happy mobile have to smell so bad?" She shivered a bit at the mention of dreams, having had a few bad ones lately.Lash wasn't the type to try and get to know everyone, but this was a ship where she was technically alone from her world. Having a few allies, as crazy as they might be apart from the science and war departments would be a welcome change.

Not to mention the huge talking raptor. Weren't dinosaurs supposed to be extinct? This ship was really something.

"Name's Lash," she said, easily jumping into the moving vehicle and climbing aboard. The girl looked at the paper in their hands and realized the smoke came from them. "Those are the largest cigarettes I have ever seen."

"Not a cigarette, Sugar-cakes," Sawyer replied, nodding at Red Snout to pass the joint along to Lash. "It's better."

Did he just call her sugar-cakes? She had killed men for an insult like that. Killed. Preferable with a rusty blunt object that lead to a slow development of tetanus if they hadn't died in the first place. That man, whoever he was, was so damn lucky she didn't have her death ray on her right now because there would be just a pile of ashes on that pretty dinky little van. She just frowned and grabbed the object and tried to inhale the smoke, coughing. Lash had never taken a cigarette in her life, it most certainly didn't help her current predicament.

"Ahhh!" More coughing. "The taste is really gross."

Kate wondered about that, but she was a music student. She knew a lot of artists so she was bringing several classic rock themed songs. Also some more modern ones too, not just ancient ones. That and her cheeks weren't burning from Tony's declaration, not at all. Even if he's drunk or whatever.

She stared at the colorful van at the moment with a raised eyebrow.

"Seriously?" She then rapped on the window.... that was filled with smoke?!

"Hello?!" Wondering if she should break the door down.

Tony blinked and reached over to crank his window down. A cloud of smoke hits Kate in the face. It's a pungent, powerful smell, considering they've been hotboxing for a while now. He leans out the window with a grin, "Kate! You made it! Did you bring the tunes?"

"I am Red Snout of the Swiftclaw tribe, chieftain and greatest warrior! I am also the last, but that is not important." Red Snout said, flopping down in the back, tail thumping lazily against the sides of the van. It was pretty comfortable here and--

Oh Great Scravis' claws, his snout was painted red.

"Humans, my snout is red. This is. This is amazing." He crossed his eyes awkwardly, trying to get a better look at the tip of his nose.

The air was somewhat more breathable after a while. Maybe she was just getting used to it, kind of like the exhaust of a tank or the smoke in an industrial factory. Everyone was just to happy tonight, she still didn't understand it.

Then she suddenly got a case of the giggles and didn't know why. Maybe it was the way Red was crossing his eyes to get a better look at his snout. She pointed to him, using her other hand to hold her stomach. Ow ow, it was starting to hurt.

"What do you know, your nose is red."

Sawyer, too, was giggling at the raptor's sudden fascination with his own snout as he looked in the rear view mirror to see the reptile crossing his eyes--which only caused more giggling.

"Hey, Kate!" he said, looking over at the newest arrival and bringing the van to a halt once again. "Wanna go for a ride?"

Kate coughed and sputtered at the huge cloud of smoke wafting over her face. She waved a hand trying to fan the fumes away. Wait, is that....?

"I brought it, and why the hell are you guys high?!" She started to climb, still coughing a little.

...Funny how it slowly didn't seem as bad inside.

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