trans_9 | Back to basics

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Back to basics

Katara normally was a bundle of energy, or at least willing to try to look on the bright side of things, and greeted the day with a burst of energy. But when she woke up, there was no relief there, no calm demeanor. Right now Katara felt restless, and not being able to help Roxie like Katara had hoped made her unable to go back to sleep. Even if the Nightmare King wouldn't be meddling this time, she would never be able to get certain images out of his head. Hama crawling after them, Aang and the Seer stopping her, Hama losing her head, learning that it was just a part of the Nightmare King. She'd knew now that the danger she'd faced was only slight compared to what was in store, and that despite all of her training and preparation, she'd failed. If the Nightmare King could do this, he could do worse.

So she found herself in the Sensorium, and now she was met with the Northern water Tribe, where she had faced Master Pakku when he refused to teach her waterbending because he was a girl. There was no Master Pakku to face this time: instead, she had recreated the pirates from when they were trying to take the ship. She faced them down, but she didn't have her normal clothing on: she had decided to emulate some of the modern wear she'd seen some of the other girls on the ship wear. She had on a loose cotton blue shirt, her hair tied back, with long flowing slacks. She breathed in, and brought her hands up. She closed her eyes, hearing the scoffing of the pirates. They didn't take her seriously: why should they? She was just a little girl, and there were several of them, with long, powerful weapons and tentacles and sharp teeth.

She closed her eyes, and felt the wind change: first attack. Her hands moved of their own accord and pushed against the pirate. The shift in balance made him fall to the floor and Katara used him as leverage to give a flying leap in the air, and hammer down on the other pirates. Before her training with Sheeana, she wouldn't have attacked without waterbending, but now she was moving with fury, taking the pirates confusion as an advantage to shift their weight and incapacitate them. She moved with purpose, and hardly used offense: instead, she moved in her dance, but quicker, smoother, balancing herself and making her enemies fall. She knew that Toph was much better at this, but it didn't hurt to use her speed and defense against them.

When she had gotten to the last few pirates she froze them all together, then sat down in cross legged position. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and closed her eyes again. One, two. One two. One two- one-two.

She remembered Aang's instructions, and knew that this would be another test. The last time she'd gotten limited sleep she got pretty cranky and started to lash out. Now though, she would know better. She wouldn't be screaming at anyone, she would stay calm, she would stay centered, and then, when she felt relaxed, she would continue her training.

Tess had to train without her suit, so Katara would hold off on her waterbending.

She WOULD strengthen her will. She would not bend to the Nightmare King again.

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Katara's ears perked at the opening door, and she smiled, because she knew the step by now of her fellow Sister and teacher. The shirt flapped on,and though Katara was certainly used to wearing more clothes than what she had on in that weather, she was not cold. The pirates faded away a moment and the two of them were in a colony in the Earth nation: Jet's gang's treehouse. It was rather quiet, what with the lack of Jet's gang, the cluster of trees and only the chitter of a nearby cricket.

Katara opened her eyes slowly. She was more than happy Sheeana was here: she needed to talk about this feeling creeping in her chest, this dread that had come in the guise of a headless but vicious woman, and what happened from there.

"Sheeana," Katara said softly. "Have you had any nightmares lately?"

Sheeana inhaled the leafy scents of the forest: loam, wood, sap, plants. She perched on a wooden ledge built around an old trunks.

"I was going to ask you that. Something did try to effect my dreaming last night, but my mothers-within warned me." Ah, the Nightmare King and his plans. He couldn't touch a fully trained Reverend Mother, but others...

Katara nodded gently. Well, that made sense. It was Sheeana after all, and she, like Aang, still had the wisdom of others to aid her. It wasn't jealousy but silent acknowledgment that her teacher was quite powerful.

"Yes," Katara said. "I thought I was prepared, I thought I would know when the Nightmare King was coming. But my nightmare was aimed at exposing a part of myself I wasn't proud of, and in that moment I faltered, and I was fooled. I would have been fooled had not two people intercepted the dream: the Seer, and Aang, the Avatar. They both were there, so I'm pretty sure now that the god is starting to feel us out, try to see what we can do. I just..."

She put her head down. "I'm disappointed in myself. I was fooled, and had Aang and the Seer not stepped in, the thing in that dream, would have hurt me. This is not even the full extent of his power. I can't be fooled again, Sheeana. He's counting on me."

She took a breath. "If you know of a way to quiet the mind, to silence the creeping insecurities of the mind, would you be able to help me?"

Sheeana crossed over to her pupil and sat across from her, imitating her lotus. "These things take time." She said as she laid a gentle hand on Katara's shoulder. "Our fastest pupil in ten thousand years of history was an acolyte for a year. Now I think I do have a solution that can help you in a very practical manner." She typed a message to Khel on her omnicomm. Perhaps he would feel sweet enough towards her after their almost-kindof-sortof lovemaking last night to do her this favor. "Our friend Khel can induce terrible fear. I would immunize you and Tess at his earliest possible convienence. Now tell me about what this nightmare dredged up."

Katara nodded. Sheeana was right, and she really should not have been trying to force herself to be prepared. Besides,it wasn't as if she knew exactly how The Nightmare King would have attacked anyway. Now, at least, she had a little advantage.

"Khel can do that?" Katara said, surprised. "Oh, that would be great! At least now I might have a better chance at resisting what he'll attempt next. Aang needed the Seer's help to defeat him, so this won't be an easy foe, I know that for certain."

But at the last question, Katara flinched. Even now, even with training, she could not look back on the day she learned a waterbending ability she could never unlearn.

"I have told you about my master, Pakku. But I had, in our travels, one other teacher. In our hiding out in the Fire Nation we came across an old woman we discovered was from out tribe many years ago, when the Firenation captured all of the Southern Waterbenders. She was the only one to escape, and eventually, through trickery, she told me how: on the full moon, when our bending is at its most potent, we had the ability to bend the water in the human body to our will: bloodbending. She did it to me, but I broke free, and then she had my friend start attacking me. I had to stop her by bloodbending, and even though she was imprisoned, the damage was done. I learned bloodbending that night."

She closed her eyes. "When I sought revenge against the fire soldier that killed my mother, I bloodbended one more time, and it was the wrong man. IO don't like to think how close I came to murder at that time, but it wa pretty bad."

She swallowed. "In the Nightmare Hama came back, and seemed to know about things in my life. She urged me to bloodbend again, to get revenge on the people who hurt Aang."

Bloodbending... Sheeana had assumed this impossible since Katara hadn't mentioned it. Yet there was apparently more to the idea. She had assumed wrong. Which will teach me to make assumptions.

"Revenge is a road that leads only to itself. Yet there is nothing evil about this ability, any more than we can assign malevolance to a sword or lasgun. If you recall the lesson on archetypes we went over last week...you've just met your Shadow (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_(psychology)). It represents the parts of yourself you don't want to acknowledge. This is a powerful archetypal figure that the Nightmare King must have made even more terrifying." She pitched her voice to be as reassuring as she could make it.

Katara nodded. She should have thought that,s he knew she should have. But there were certain humps Katara had never quite gotten over, and Hama just happened to be one of them. "It was a shock to see her again, and to hear her telling me that I needed to sue my bloodbending, and then before I knew it some kind of dark feeling was let in. I could hardly move, and though I was conscious of that, I felt myself starting to surrender my body into the room. That was when Aang came and broke that trance. The Seer beheaded Hama's head, and she writhed and moved on her own. Aang then told me I would have to be careful: that I needed to aid Roxie, and try to get the crew to band together. He said...the Nightmares were going to get worse."

She lowered her head. "I never wanted to learn that power teacher: there are some thing that tempt even the good hearted because they make things easier. And she forced me to learn it. Something that's a gift should not be given as if its a curse."

Sheeana inhaled deeply and chewed nervously on her lower lip. Time for another revelation. "Sister...I have told almost noone this...but when I was eight, I watched my village get destroyed by a worm. Everyone I knew up to that point disappeared into its jaws. When I was an acolyte, I would often have nightmares of that event. Darwi was wise though, and she gave me a canvas and brush. In that process, I put my fear down where I could see it, and I accepted that part of myself: the enraged child who desperately wanted her family back. You cannot change what she did to you but you need to accept this part of yourself too, or it will become leverage to use against you. If you do not incorporate your Shadow into yourself, it will devour you."

Katara had not known this about her teacher, and it was clear from looking into her eyes that she felt sorry for the history her teacher had to deal with. At the same time, she also knew that it was Sheena, and the things that hurt a long time ago could hurt a little less when she found a way to let them go, as she was telling Katara to do now. She had let the things that Hama said affect her, and she'd doubted her own self.

"You are right," Katara said. "The reason I fell to the Nightmare King's words is because they were doubts in my actions I wasn't ready to hear. She made me think that my joining the Bene Gessert was to forget what she'd forced on me, like it was a stain I couldn't get clean. But she was wrong. That isn't why I joined at all. I wanted to do better than what I can do now, and part of that is knowing myself and my actions more than I need to."

"Good. Now describe this woman for me." As Katara did, Hama would materialize in the air in front of them. "And remember the litany. I will permit it to pass over and through me is the most important line here."

"I can show you," Katara said, since they were both in the Sensorium. She closed her eyes and recreated the attic where she;d been in her dream. Now Hama (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v102/elpedrososama/Hama_007.jpg) was sitting parallel to them, that malevolent look gone and replaced by that look in her eyes that plainly showed there was more than just a feeble, weak old lady.

"Yes Sister," Katara said, and quietly repeated the litany to herself. Even looking at Hama now was enough to tense her up. "She was an waterbender from the south pole, kidnapped by the Fire Nation like all the other waterbenders. She was the only one to escape,and she did it by using the water in one of the guard's body. But after escaping, she was twisted, and decided normal people in the Firenation should have to pay for what our people went through."

Edited 2010-01-13 17:55 (UTC)

Sheeana observed the apparition, that long white hair, skin as fragile looking as old paper, but eyes and teeth of some great shark, coldblooded and malevolent.

She laid her hands on her knees and stared full on at the old woman projection. "You understand her motivations and that is the first step. Now you must accept the part of yourself she represents. Look at her without conflict, hatred or pity, merely accept her. I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. I will face my fear, I will permit it to pass over and through me..."

Katara stared at Hama, and the old woman that she saw started to unravel, more and more until she saw the younger woman (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v102/elpedrososama/hamawaterblade.jpg) Hama had been. It almost bothered her to see she was a younger version of herself and her mother in a way: strong, willing to give her all for her people, ruined by the Fore Nation. They had taken her decency from her and made her the warped person she was, the bloodbender that hurt others.

But she would not do this, not ever.

Katara stared back at the younger Hama. "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

She paused, and saw Hama's young visage warped back to her older self. "I will not become you, but if I must use what you taught me to help others, I will do it. I will not allow how you taught me to cause me harm, to show my weakness. That is what it means to be a true waterbender, and an independent warrior woman."

Sheeana watched as tiny sandworms curled around Hama's feet. My own subconscious must be influencing the projection. When you heal others, you risk exposing your own wounds!

The sky overhead changed, darkening but softly glowing with a full moon. The projection began to dance, manipulating unseen figures as the worms curled up her withered, sticklike legs. And she stopped over Sheeana, and waved her hands. But Sheeana did not move, merely gave the old woman an appraising glance. Seemingly disappointed, she turned back over to Katara.

"Do not move. I will permit it to pass over and through me." Sheeana warned her student. This was a crucial moment for her.

Katara had been watching but understood how important it was that she stay a rock on this. She hadn't understood why there were worms, but slowly it dawned on her it might have something to do with Sheeana. But even before Sheeana had come here, Katara had been disciplining herself and her emotions, going through them over and over.

Now, when Hama made her way over to her, it truly was as if Hama were Koh, the face stealer Aang had met in the spirit world. Katara's face was impassive, her eyes opened but she herself still remaining in lotus position. This was how she had to await the Nightmare King in her mind: lithe but strong, both able to fight and have the ability to stand her ground.

"I am ignoring you Hama," she said softly.

The apparition reached a fever pitch of terror, hair flowing in an invisible breeze, lips curled into a sneer, tiny worms writhing along her limbs.

"Don't fight her. She'll feed on your resistance." Sheeana admonished. Hama reached out, hands now curved talons. But the blades passed through Katara, as did the rest of her, and the projection began to gradually disperse.

Katara did as she was told, but did so with an eerie sense of calm. It had been similar to when Hama had controlled her with blood bending before: she had been, and then Katara had been able to break out of it, just as she was allowing her fear of Hama to leave her now.

When the apparition disappeared, Katara looked at Sheeana. "Why the worms?"

Sheeana looked down and away, perhaps embarrassed for a moment. She could hide it, of course, but what would be the point? "My own subconscious must have been influencing the projection. Stacy pulls the sensorium programs from our minds, after all."

She leaned forward and enveloped Katara in a hug, uncharacteristic for a teacher as usually stern as her. "You made a lot of progress today."

Katara slowly closed her eyes, and a smile crept on her face. "I could sense it," she said. "It was strange, because I knew it was different from everything else in the Sensorium. Even before I saw them, I felt something change. I'm starting to think that I really should bring Toph to at least see you."

The hug made Katara feel happy: besides the affection, it also showed a sign of respect, because someone like Sheena was not bound to give them freely. She hugged back. "Thank you Sister," she said, "I feel like I have. But I am not done yet. The Nightmare King has not truly started to attack us yet, and when he does I can't afford to let my guard down again."

Sheeana pulled back and cocked her head. "Is Tauf one of your friends? Another Bender?" The Fremen accent was difficult to detect but that was definitely how she mentally spelled it.

Katara nodded. "Yes, actually. Toph is a little younger than me and blind, but she is one of the strongest Earthbenders I've ever seen. Because she can't see, she sits and waits. She would actually be better at controlling her limbs than I would because of how attuned her other senses are. It's actually because of that reason I'm a little quicker at moving than I used to be."

Sheeana put her finger to her lips, that way she had when she was thinking. "Alright. I will see her." The girl sounded patient, a good student. Oh how wrong she was.

Katara looked a little embarrassed. "I should ask her first though. she's been through a lot on the ship too...I know she was taken by that crazy AI, GLADOS. Something about cake, and making her feel very guilty about not wanting to run her mazes. I don't really get it, but I really want to get Toph out to experience more of the ship!"

"Cake? Truly?" Sheeana was searching for a metaphor. 'Cake' had to stand for something, some normally unattainable knowledge or power. "This is why we have the precept 'thou shalt not make a machine in the shape of the human mind' in my universe." She said, half joking. She'd gotten over her mistrust of machines.

"Yeah, I don't really get it either," Katara said, laughing a little to herself. "But its not the first time I heard about GLADOS doing something like this. She was the same AI that messed around with the mistletoe too. As for making a machine with a human mind, its still something I'm getting used to."

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