trans_9 | This must never be mentioned. [open]

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This must never be mentioned. [open]

Slobo either didn't know or didn't care the racket he was making in W&P. Things were flying about until he found what he was looking for. A large selection of single articles of clothing that could easily cobble together something, a jar of hair gel, and a mirror. He wasn't happy with the mirror, he had hoped for a full-length, but beggars can't be choosers. He sat there, going through the collected clothes. First, there was a really nice red leather trench. Unfortunately, it was made for someone easily 6'5". He tossed it aside and decided to work on his hair first, since finding male clothing in his size was rather... difficult. He's so obsessed on this preening that he can, for once, easily be snuck up on by people other than ninjas.

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Sheeana needed no distraction to sneak up on Slobo though. So instead, if he turned around he would find her standing atop one of the piles of stuff, giving him such a wiseass look. She could tell his nervousness...smell it, actually.

Slobo slicked his hair back, trying to see how it looked in the mirror, when he saw Sheeana in the reflection. The mirror flew into the air as he fell over backwards.

"WHY THE FRAGGIN' KANG ARE YOU HERE?!" He said angrily as he picked himself up, his new 'do having already been destroyed.

"I do this every day. People in this place just leave their psyches hanging open here whenever they open a door in this place it seems. It's entertaining and informative. So what are you preening for?" Because she can totally tell male grooming behavior when she sees it.

"I AIN'T." He said in a huff. "I just gotta thing I wanna look good fer, is all." He felt uncomfortably vulnerable, and really wished he could lock the door to this place.

"The problem is I got all these random pieces o' crap ta work with, since Stacy only gives people one er two items o clothin'... I'm noticin' not a single pair a pants..."

"You been cryin', Bright Eyes." She retorted in a pitch perfect imitation of his rasp. It could have come out of a recorder.

"Is this your first time doing this?"

"NO." He said all too quickly. He started rummaging through the clothing. All he wanted was a decent pair of pants.

"Seriously, how can no one on this frellin' ship not want a pair o' pants?" He said frustratedly as he tried (and failed) to not appear ruffled.

Katara had been researching in the media library all day about tattoos, and then going through symbols and meanings. She was pretty sure that Meluly would have plenty of good ideas of her own, but she wanted to make sure she had some suggestions. In any case, it kept her busy, and she figured it could be one of her fun days before she really started to get to work on training herself for when the god guy was going to start trying to attack people.

In fact, that was the next thing that was on her mind, so she decided to head up to the weapons and possession part of the ship to train with another weapon, possibly a spear, when she saw that Slobo was there, apparently ripping things apart. Katara walked up quietly to him, and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Uh, Slobo, what are you doing?"

This time Slobo simply jumped slightly. Having the person make themselves known verbally helped. He turned, his hair looking horribly half-styled, and the pile of articles of clothing in front of him.

"Nothin'." He said oh-so-innocently.

Katara rolled her eyes. "Are you kidding? You know I'm still a girl, right? That's downright insulting."

She walked over and took a look at the clothing, the gel, and the trench coat. "Yeech," she said, looking at it. "Way too red. It would look horrible on y-"

Then the dawning realization hit her, and a smile spread on her face.

"Oh! You're going on a date! With Roxie!"

"What? Who told ya that?!" He said anxiously. "Did she?! Did she say anythin' 'bout it?! Not that there is one... Unless she said somethin'..." He started to calm down as he realized he was breaking down his own logic.

"Of course not!" Katara sniffed. "She's busy making preparations, you know that! Besides, does she seem like the type of girl to gossip?" Seriously, she wasn't the type, no matter how much Katara would have liked that to be different. "But I know you're going on a date, and I DID see you looking at her during Karaoke, its pretty obvious."

See, unlike boys, girls pay attention. To EVERYTHING. Especially if they're slightly bossy, over analyzing girls like Katara.

"Tell you what Slobo, see if you can find a decent suit in all of...this," Katara said, wrinkling her nose a little at the suit. Was this what they wore in his world? Ew. "I'll hem it down for you, and we can see what we can do about your hair, okay?"

"Slight problem there, Aqualass. None o' these clothes're mine. I'm pretty sure people'd be pissed if they wake up ta find their clothes fitted ta a 4'11" guy." Slobo said slightly ruffled as he turned back to his mirror and tried fixing his hair into an odd looking fauxhawk. "So I'm jus' tryin' ta find stuff that already fits, and then I gotta pick a flick..."

Katara waved her hand dismissively. "Hey, if they want their clothes that badly they can make new ones. We're running on short time and we need to make you look good, so experimentation is important! But first things first, you need to have a decent mirror."

Katara dropped some of her water to the floor and moved her hands around until it shifted and pooled together to form a makeshift mirror, and Katara held the water still so Slobo could better see himself.

"Now what do you think you want to do with the hair?"

"I.... got no idea. The last ime I remember bein' on a date I wasn't myself... In a lotta ways..." Mental note, do not let Bart hypnotize him. He is smarter than Lobo. "So... this is kinda my first one ever..."

Katara looked at his hair a minute, then bended the gel out of the bottle. It was a strange consistency, and definitely not one she was used to, but after a minute she had the goop settling on Slobo's head and easing the spikes slowy out, pressing down and starting to part his hair in the middle. The hair was now parted down on both sides, and Katara stared at the hairdo a moment.

"I don't know...what do you think?"

Slobo stared. With his hair like that, it easily came down to his cheeks. It looked... weird.

"...Not my thing, I don't think..."

"Gotcha," Katara said, and started to move his hair around some more, until it now resembled a certain angry firebender, and she sighed.

"That's out," she said, and was at it again, slicking the hair back now until it reached past his neck. It was an interesting look, but she figured she wanted to see what Slobo though.

Slobo had actually kind of liked the Zuko thing, but decided Katara knew best. As for this new style...

"Not half bad. Kinda like Dio...."

Katara had no idea what a Dio was, but Slobo seemed to like t, so she gavve it a thumbs up. Clothewise, howeverm was going to be something different.

"I'll leave the clothes for you to decide Slobo," she said. "But if you need me to adjust anything, let me know, okay?"

"Thanks, Aqualass..." Slobo said with a nod. "I'll see what I can manage, but if I need ya, I'll give ya a ring." He continued rummaging through the clothing.

Katara nodded and was about to leave, then paused.

"Slobo, just be yourself, okay? I can't be the only person who's going to give you advice, but she should like you because of who you are. That's thge kind of person she is, and that's how she expects you to be too. Relax. You're a good guy, okay? A girl would be lucky to have you."

Will's not a ninja, and she's already gone through W+P for clothes many times and turned up nothing, but she doesn't know that's what Slobo's looking for.

"Hey, are you looking for something specific?"

Another small jump as he rounded and turned to the girl he had never seen before. He was holding what appeared to be a suit jacket and tie in front of him, which he quickly hid behind his back.

"... Nope. Nothin' at all."

Ohhh man. Any teenage girl worth her salt can figure this situation out a mile away.

"You're going on a date. You can't figure out what to wear."

It's okay, judging by her eager smile, she wants to help.

Slobo's shoulders slumped. Did girls have some kind of radar about this stuff that he didn't know about?

"Yeah... Pretty much." He's learning that shock and denial don't work so well by now. And more input is helpful.

"Well, I'm no Cornelia, but I bet I can help."

SHE'S A TEENAGE GIRL. IT'S IN HER BLOOD.

... What the hell is a Cornelia?

"Uh, right... Well, I got a few options here, and I also gotta pick out a movie... I got no idea what Stacy has, but the girl I'm going with likes musicals... Is there a Die Hard: The Musical?"

A blonde with good taste and a penchant for making over hopeless cases.

Not that Slobo's hopeless. He has hope. Um.

Will giggles. Oh that's just cute. "No, sorry. Which girl is this?"

"Oh, Roxie." He said casually. At this point, keeping the secret seemed rather moot. Also, these people had been around Roxie longer, they may have good advice on how not to piss off a girl that can kill you.

"So... Seein' as how their ain't a matchin' shirt, is the tie too much?"

Roxie?! Good going, Slobo, Will ships you two already.

"Uh, yeah, just a little. Ties without button-up shirts are only in on girls." Will covers her mouth to cover her slight giggle. "I really don't think Roxie will mind if you wear a tie or not, though. Unless you're going to take her somewhere really fancy. Are you? Becuase if it's in the Sensoriums, you know you can just ask for some pretend fancy clothes -"

"I uh.... I got no idea of where to take her after a movie. I'm gonna ask a couple o' guy friends about that." He didn't mean to sound sexist, he just figured Nightwing might be a little more experienced than the teenaged girls around. And also, he's been getting to feel a little weird that only women have been offering experience so far.

"I just... She's real special, and I wanna look good."

"A restaurant is always nice." And hey, Will's been taken to nice restaurants! Because her boyfriend is awesome.

"Well, if you wanna look good . . . let me see what you've got so far."

"You're kidding me, right?"

It was all Static said to let Slobo now he was there; been there for a bit of a while, even. Just watching. It was too damn good not to watch and enjoy.

Slobo froze. Like a deer in the headlights. And stayed completely still and silent, hoping Static would think he had turned back into a statue and just leave.

Virgil Hawkins does not equal T-rex. Just because you stop moving doesn't mean he can't see you.

"What's the deal, need to gussy up for a hot date or somethin'? You're all..."He waved his hands in a circle, looking for the right word. "Flummoxed."

Slobo had been intent on remaining still. Then he simply turned to Static with a confused look on his face, his hair still slicked back.

"... Flummoxed?"

"Confused. Perplexed. Freaking out." He shrugged. "Take your pick. Also, you're leaking hair gel."

Static gestured to a small greasy puddle on the floor.

"Awww.... frag... I knew Katara was usin' too much..." He said as he picked up his foot and grimaced. "And I ain't freakin' out. Just..." What the hell. Katara would probably tell him anyway.

"I got a date... wit' Roxie..."

"Ah, a date with a girl who can kill you before you even realize somethin's wrong. I know how that goes..."

Static's dating history is not exactly a pretty thing.

"Alright, you want some advice?"

"From a guy?" Slobo said, looking both ways before falling to his knees and begging.

"PLEASE! These girls all have different ideas..."

"Okay, first things first, your hair. It's fucked five ways to Sunday. You need to fix it, and badly. Gel's not a bad idea, but a little goes a long way; you want to tame it, not force it to join a circus. Second, what's your plan of attack?"

"Uh... Plan?" Slobo looked at Static curiously. "... I got nothin', man. We're gonna see a movie... Hey, I know there ain't a 'Die Hard: The Musical', but what about a musical version o' Demolition Man?"

"Not to my knowledge. I take it she's a fan of musicals... well, you're gonna want something that sparks for both of you... lemme think here..."

There's a long pause; Static had the option here to give him a turly horrible musical, one that would haunt Slobo forever...

He snapped his fingers. "Got it. You wanna take her to see Rock of Ages. It's a musical about Rock. You get a musical vibe, and Bon Jovi. What could go wrong? After that, or maybe before, dpeends on when you're doing this, you're gonna want to take her out for some food. Somewhere nice, but not too nice. Think Mid-scale. Not black tie, but not tie-dye, either."

"Uh... Okay..." Slobo blinked as Static was being decisively helpful. "Like... So... No bars that serve wings?"

The was a long pause before he replied.

"I want to say 'no', but it goes against everything I stand for. Look, taking a girl to a bar isn't an entirely bad idea, it's not just a great one either. Bar's say 'I want to be your friend' not 'I want to date you'. Think slightly more upscale than bar, but not full restaurant.. like a tiny Italian place that has good beer and wings. Classy, but not overpoweringly so."

If there was one thing Static knew about, it was screwing things up with the 'I want to be friends' idea. And the way he was now seeing it, if this worked out, fantastic. If it didn't, at least it wouldn't be because he didn't try to help.. Slobo was his bro, after all.

Slobo thought about it, and beamed.

"A pizza joint? Like the one we had in Happy Harbor, with the tacky red and white checkered tablecloths... Would that work?" It did seem to fit perfectly into Static's guidelines. And if he remembered correctly, it had a menu that went from standard pizza to slightly classier pasta dishes. Or subs, if you were on the cheap.

"Yeah... That'll work. Just, ah, don't get the subs. Don't get anything that seems real cheap, for that matter. You don't want to impress her too much, but you don't want to undersell, either."

This was a mistake he'd made before.

"Right, no subs, Rock of ages, minimum on the hair gel..." Slobo repeated, as if committing it to memory. "Anythin' else I should know?"

"Well, two other major things to keep in mind, and that's all there is to it; number one, be yourself, but a more charming, better you than you really are. And number two, don't f&*k up. Once you f%^k up, the natural response is a nervous issue, which can throw off your whole game for the night and leave a bad impression. When you do screw things up (and trust me, we all do at some point), you've gotta try and find a way to roll with it. Maintain the illusion, as it were. If the center can't hold, the whole thing falls apart.

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This must never be mentioned. [open]

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