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trans_92009-11-16 06:21 am
shes-intense.livejournal.com) wrote in trans_92009-11-16 06:21 am
Burning It Off [Open]
She's mad. She hasn't stopped being mad for the last few days.
She was mad when the zombies hit, mad when she found out what happened to Paco, madder and madder and madder for B5 and Jaime and Querl and no matter who she's talked to or what she's done she's frothing and nauseous with how USELESS she feels to change any of it.
She's barely slept, can't stop thinking, can't stop herself from lurching her way through little crying jags every time a bad thought or memory seeps in. Her oldest scars ache like they're new again... Her new bed in the crew quarters is so comfortable but she ends up back in her podsleeper some nights just for the close warm security of feeling shut away in a bubble for a while. She still can't quite drop off to sleep but it's better than feeling so exposed.
Brenda's had about enough of not sleeping though, she just wants to REST, and working herself down to exhaustion seems like a way to get there. So she's been camped out in one of the sensoriums, plowing her way through beating up opponent after spectral opponent, working already aching muscles into a mass of cramps and pain. Another hour or so of this, a hot bath, and with any luck she would be too tired to stand much less resist a comfortable bed.
[ooc: Will you mentioned wanting Leon to thread with Brenda some time? Feel free to hit this one. Sair, the Luthor thread I asked you about yesterday exploded in a whole other direction so maybe DSP can hit this one? He and Brenda should talk. ANYONE ELSE PLZ FEEL FREE TOO! ♥]
She was mad when the zombies hit, mad when she found out what happened to Paco, madder and madder and madder for B5 and Jaime and Querl and no matter who she's talked to or what she's done she's frothing and nauseous with how USELESS she feels to change any of it.
She's barely slept, can't stop thinking, can't stop herself from lurching her way through little crying jags every time a bad thought or memory seeps in. Her oldest scars ache like they're new again... Her new bed in the crew quarters is so comfortable but she ends up back in her podsleeper some nights just for the close warm security of feeling shut away in a bubble for a while. She still can't quite drop off to sleep but it's better than feeling so exposed.
Brenda's had about enough of not sleeping though, she just wants to REST, and working herself down to exhaustion seems like a way to get there. So she's been camped out in one of the sensoriums, plowing her way through beating up opponent after spectral opponent, working already aching muscles into a mass of cramps and pain. Another hour or so of this, a hot bath, and with any luck she would be too tired to stand much less resist a comfortable bed.
[ooc: Will you mentioned wanting Leon to thread with Brenda some time? Feel free to hit this one. Sair, the Luthor thread I asked you about yesterday exploded in a whole other direction so maybe DSP can hit this one? He and Brenda should talk. ANYONE ELSE PLZ FEEL FREE TOO! ♥]
no subject
"Sean, look, if you need some time it's fine but don't be a stranger okay? If we can manage it I'd like for us to still be friends once things aren't so awkward."
She feels selfish the second the words are out of her mouth - asking him to still be around her when things haven't gone the way he hoped seems so... mean - but she's more concerned about letting him know that she's still his friend than she is about guilt tripping him for the moment.
no subject
Just mostly crushing.
But not enough to want to lose his friendship with her.