awkward conversations

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

John: *sighs. so much*
Allison: ...what the what
John: He doesn't know how to use the thing.
Allison: Neither did I!
John: You haven't tried posting. Just replying.
Allison: Still...
John: Welcome to my life, Allison.
Allison: Hey :-(
John: ...What?
Allison: Nothing.
John: No...you meant something.
Allison: I did not, and you can't prove it.
John: *stares at* Don't do that.
John: It's like lying.
Allison: How is that like lying?
John: Would you rather I called you a liar outright?
John: So then it's like lying. Just be honest with me, okay?
Allison: *sigh* Fiiine.
John: So...what about "welcome to my life" made you upset?
Allison: It sounded sarcastic.
John: Oh.
John: Well it wasn't. Not entirely.
Allison: Not entirely.
John: *sighs* Didn't we talk about how I don't know how to talk to people? Yeah.
Allison: Don't sarcastic and sigh at me.
John: I'm not meaning to do it AT YOU.
Allison: And yet.
John: I don't...know what you'd like me to say. My dad can't use the machine. My mother  hates computers. And I can probably take the thing apart.
Allison: I don't know what that has to do with anything.
John: That's...how my life works. Us versus them. Me versus them. It's like there's always a barrier
Allison: A barrier of snark?
John: *stares at the floor for a while* Me versus anyone doesn't mean you. I don't feel like...I'm divided from you.
Allison: Then, you should say 'Me vs everyone but Allison Young'. Or something.  Why don't you?
John: Because... *frowns*
John: You're here, I trust you, you put up with me.
Allison: Why do you trust me?
John: ...Do I have to break that down for you? *looks uncomfortable*
Allison: Does it have anything to do with your metal? If not, no.
John: No.
Allison: Okay, then.
John: *siiiighs forever* You put up with me. Yeah, that doesn't seem like much but it hasn't happened very often in my life.
Allison: Obviously, I'm very important or some such.
John:...Or I could just like you for being you.
Allison: Or that.
John: You don't believe me.
Allison: I might.
Allison: I might NOT believe you.
John: That's not very...hell, nevermind.
John: ...Uhm. I don't know. Inspiring?
Allison: Yay John, Go John?
John: *sighs again*
John: No, I mean...you tell someone you like them, they say they might or might not believe you, that just makes them not want to say it again.
Allison: Oh. Fine, I believe you.
John: That sounds like sarcasm.
Allison: It's not
John: ...Okay. (isn't sure if he believes her or not)
Allison: Okay. :-(
John: I just...don't do that.
Allison: Don't do what?
John: Frown. Please?
Allison: ...I can't smile all the time.
John: I'm not asking you to smile all the time, I'm just saying I don't want to make you frown.
John: ...(fuck)
Allison: Oh.  Why?
John: *looks at her for a moment* Think about that.
Allison: Could you just SAY?
 

Comments

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

He sighs, leans against one of the walls and goes back to looking at the floor. "I could. Or you could figure it out too. You're smart, I mean..." Sighing again.

"God why am I trying to do this."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"I'm not that smart, John." She's not John smart, for instance. "I don't even know what you're trying to do!"

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

Sighing and sitting down. He told Kyle two hours, will he even get through this conversation in two hours.

"I like you," he repeats. "So just...go from there, maybe."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"I'm a very likable person." Okay, Allison. "I like you too. And?"

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"Okay, that's true, but that isn't entirely what I meant. Think about that?"

Because he doesn't want to spell this out. At all. Not even a little bit.

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

Allison makes a face and sits down. "I hate puzzles. And guessing games. Give me an example."

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"There is more than one definition of the word like. Even in your time."

For the record, John looks slightly miserable.

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

For Allison's part, she's not considering the most obvious defintion of like simply because of how miserable he looks. "Okay. Like me like put up with me?"

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"...More than that."

It's because he has to explain, he was perfectly happy being vague.

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"How much more than that?"

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

He sighs, again, but some of the miserable body language seems replaced by a sort of acceptance that this conversation is just going to happen whether he wants it to or not.

Which is something similar to his default, really.

"A lot more."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

Well, that's a lot less disconcerting. "Oh." Thinking about that. "Not because of the metal?"

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

He shakes his head. "I can tell the difference, just in case you were wondering."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"Good." She blinks. "Why do you like me?" As if it's the strangest thing ever.

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"...Do I really have to..." He frowns again. Stops himself from shrugging. "You're nice, smart. Got a good head on your shoulders. You're not afraid to tell me I'm wrong. You've stuck with me even though you didn't have to. You put up with...this, this constant inability to say what I mean and mean what I say."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"Of course I have to." Partially because this place still freaks her out. Partially because she wants to. "I like you too."

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"No. You might think you do, but like I said, you're smart. You wouldn't let this place get the best of you if I weren't here, you don't need me for that."

Which is one of the other reasons he likes her. But that's harder to explain.

Her admittance gets him to look at her, briefly, before looking away. "Good. I...good." Saying I guess would be counterproductive, he realizes.

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

Just a little counterproductive. "Still. I'd rather you were here."

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"Which is good to know," he says and just...watches her for a moment.

"...Fair warning. Last time I tried anything like this it ended badly. So I have no idea what the hell I'm doing."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"Badly how?" Oh God.

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

He makes a slight face. Like flinching, only not as sudden.

"...She was lying to me. About who she was and what she knew about me. But I didn't...really care. I cared, but not enough to make anything different."

Sighing. "She was murdered, later."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

And Allison blinks at that. "Oh. Well. None of that will happen to me." Because she does not intend to get murdered, thank you.

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"Well no one's going to make you date me to try and get Cameron to kill you, either."

So.

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"...uh. No. Probably not." So there's that.

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"I'll shut up now. That's probably for the best."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"You don't have to shut up." Making a face at him.

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

He smirks a little. "Well if I keep talking you might change your mind." Touching her arm, briefly, before pulling his hand away.

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"Have I changed my mind about anything?" Slight smile.

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"You haven't called me a dink in a few days, I don't know."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"You haven't been a dink in a few days." Smirking.

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"And to get my status permanently changed would take...?" That gets her another smirk.

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"Oh, at least a week. Maybe two."

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

And that smirk because a brief, but genuine, smile. "Weeks are kind of hard to measure, here."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

Smiling back. "That's true." Frowning, slightly. "How long have we been here?"

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

Frowning also. It's like a mirror, only...not. "I don't know for sure. I don't think the ship runs on a twenty-four hour schedule, for one thing. Not being able to see the outside, sunlight, whatever, makes it even more complicated."

He moves a little closer to her, close enough to touch without reaching but keeps his arms at his sides. "Sorry."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

A crazy, wacky, space mirror. "Hm. Longer than a month, do you think?" She wonders if anyone else knows.

She shrugs, not minding the closeness. "It's okay."

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"Maybe...probably."

His frown becomes a bit softer. "I wish I could fix this."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"Not longer than a year." She's sure of that. "Why?"

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"No, not that long. Definitely not that long." John shrugs. "It'd be nice to see the sun. A real sun, not whatever this place comes up with to trick you into thinking is real. And a bed. And privacy."

A beat. "Not from you, I mean."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"I know not from me. A bed would be nice. I haven't had a bed in...a really long time." More than a year.

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"Sorry about that too." He sits close enough so their shoulders touch. "I wonder if they have beds down there, in the city? We have to go get Kyle, he's managed to piss off Sheeana."

How he has no earthly idea.

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"We can look. Do you want to look?" Looking at him. "...how?"

[antitachyonic.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. I'd like that."

John shakes his head. "No fucking clue."

[godelsolution.livejournal.com]

"Me too." Sleeping on the floor? Hell on your back. Not enough that she'll sleep in one of those things." Snorting. "Well. We'd better go save her."