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trans_92009-10-07 02:26 pm
brainy-bot.livejournal.com) wrote in trans_92009-10-07 02:26 pm
Entry tags:
Sacrifices
He didn't want to do this, almost wished that he hadn't thought of the idea at all. That for once his twelfth-level intellect might have missed the obvious answer.
But now that he had thought of it, planned it out and tested it and found that it worked, he couldn't not go through with it.
How did it go? Something about the needs of the many being more important than one person? And he'd vowed to do everything he could as a Legionnaire to help the crew to get home. Otherwise he couldn't think of himself as Legion anymore.
That was why he'd found this little spot, sandwiched in amongst a tangle of buildings and streets in the City. A spot where he vanished from Stacy's sensors. It meant he could do this without anyone, Stacy or otherwise, trying to stop him. He'd considered leaving his flight ring and omnicom behind as well, but if anything that would just arouse suspicion, not to mention the ring helped to remind him of why he was doing this in the first place. He stared at it for a moment now, before reminding himself that he had a... job to do.
The laser cutter was the first thing he'd created and further modified. Powerful and precise enough to do the job quickly and accurately. Which was important; while he could regenerate damage easily enough - wouldn't have considered this if that hadn't been true - it still took energy for him to do that much and he didn't want to expend any more than strictly necessary.
He was wasting time, he realised. Trying to put off the moment. It didn't make any sense - he had disabled his pain centres, so he literally wouldn't feel anything. All that was required was the he make the tools he could from himself, something that was second nature to him, and then... remove them.
An efficient use of resources, and one no one else could do as easily. Logically it shouldn't be bothering him this much. He was almost tempted to shut off his emotional core, but he felt like that would make things worse somehow.
So he took a breath and reached for the laser cutter.
[[ooc: Not closed, but I'd like to limit this to people who'd have reason to go looking for him and/or find him, and also keep things in one thread, since he wouldn't try this again after getting caught.]]
But now that he had thought of it, planned it out and tested it and found that it worked, he couldn't not go through with it.
How did it go? Something about the needs of the many being more important than one person? And he'd vowed to do everything he could as a Legionnaire to help the crew to get home. Otherwise he couldn't think of himself as Legion anymore.
That was why he'd found this little spot, sandwiched in amongst a tangle of buildings and streets in the City. A spot where he vanished from Stacy's sensors. It meant he could do this without anyone, Stacy or otherwise, trying to stop him. He'd considered leaving his flight ring and omnicom behind as well, but if anything that would just arouse suspicion, not to mention the ring helped to remind him of why he was doing this in the first place. He stared at it for a moment now, before reminding himself that he had a... job to do.
The laser cutter was the first thing he'd created and further modified. Powerful and precise enough to do the job quickly and accurately. Which was important; while he could regenerate damage easily enough - wouldn't have considered this if that hadn't been true - it still took energy for him to do that much and he didn't want to expend any more than strictly necessary.
He was wasting time, he realised. Trying to put off the moment. It didn't make any sense - he had disabled his pain centres, so he literally wouldn't feel anything. All that was required was the he make the tools he could from himself, something that was second nature to him, and then... remove them.
An efficient use of resources, and one no one else could do as easily. Logically it shouldn't be bothering him this much. He was almost tempted to shut off his emotional core, but he felt like that would make things worse somehow.
So he took a breath and reached for the laser cutter.
[[ooc: Not closed, but I'd like to limit this to people who'd have reason to go looking for him and/or find him, and also keep things in one thread, since he wouldn't try this again after getting caught.]]
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"My telepathy may not be as strong as Saturn Girl's -- after all, Imra's in a class of her own, even among Titanians -- and this ship may give me headaches if I'm not careful; but that does not make me entirely oblivious."
Hi Brainy, have an alternate universe teammate. She didn't look pleased.
"Do tell me what Impulse and I have just interrupted."
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He looked up at Sensor. "Why? What's he doing?"
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But he tried anyway.
"Just some necessary work," he said, not quite meeting either's eyes. "Nothing more. And I wouldn't have tricked you if I hadn't thought it necessary."
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Yes, the one Brainy couldn't seem to find. It was perfectly visible to Bart, though. Jeka had very good control over her illusions.
"Indeed? This is a highly unusual place to do necessary work. And it's a very rare occasion when necessary work also involves tricking your teammates and friends."
Jeka took a deep breath and fixed Brainy with a level stare. "Please explain so that I can understand this, Brainy.
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"I was... making tools. For the engineers and scientists. Maybe even some medical ones if possible..."
No matter how hard he tried, he still couldn't look Jeka in the eye while he spoke.
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"All right," she continued, after a very long moment of what she knew was, for Brainy, an awkward silence. "I can see where the idea came from. I know you heal quickly Brainy, but this isn't the way to go about it."
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Raising his left arm, he shifted it to form and extend an array of devices before reverting it to normal and dropping it back by his side again. "And I can heal large amounts of damage quickly without drawing too heavily on my systems."
He glanced up at Jeka. "That's something I can do that no one else can. Which is why I'm the best person to make this... choice. Engineering, science, medical- they all need equipment. I found a way to help with that. I couldn't just pretend that I hadn't thought of it; that's not what Legionnaires do."
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She'd have been able to tell how profoundly uncomfortable this made him even without her powers. With her powers, she could actually feel it.
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"It doesn't hurt at all," he said distantly. "I can simply turn off my pain receptors, so I don't feel it much. And then I regenerate... And finding a way to reproduce tools that others can use without having to ask for my help is more effective."
That part was easy to explain. If he hadn't already rationalised it, he wouldn't have tried this in the first place. Jeka's question was the hard one to answer.
"...I knew how you'd react," he said after a moment. He nearly wrapped his arms around himself, but remembered his earlier conversation with his counterpart and stopped. If another version of himself did the exact same thing when he was feeling... less then alright... then chances were Jeka would recognise the action as well.
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"Brainy, come here," she said, her voice a little kinder than it had been throughout this entire conversation.
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Eyes fixed on the ground and wondering if this was how children felt when they were in trouble, Brainy took a couple of steps closer and waited.
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"I know you're just trying to help," she said, releasing him from the embrace and putting her free hand on his shoulder. "And I know that in some ways, it makes perfect sense for you to do this. But you're worth more than your parts, Brainy. And it worries me that you don't seem to believe that."
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"I..." He didn't know how to answer that. "I do know. I just want to do everything I can to help. To make things better..."
He couldn't really bring himself to return the hug at all, but he did hesitantly touch Impulse's shoulder. "I don't think it really hurt, but... I didn't like it."
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"What he said, Brainy. You already do so much to help everyone on board; no one would even consider asking you for something like this."
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"Thank you," he said after a moment. "I'll try to find another way to help others. But... would you mind keeping this to yourselves? I don't want to upset anyone any more than necessary."
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She gently tossed the laser cutter into the air and offered the handle end for Brainy to take.
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Fortunately he was spared saying anything else when Jaime's voice suddenly sounded from all three comm rings. Brainy frowned at the message. "Sounds like something important, I assume we'll be checking it out?"
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