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Leon S. Kennedy ([personal profile] governmentninja) wrote in [community profile] trans_92009-09-17 06:54 pm

Loose Ends [Closed]

While there wasn't much question in his mind as to what to do with most of the conspirators that he captured, there was one that he honestly wasn't sure what to do with.

Katara. The fourteen year old girl who by all accounts, fell backwards into the situation, attempted to kill the Yeerk along side of Sam and his group, then... gave up.

It put him in a tough position. She was just a kid who made a rash and remarkably stupid decision. Now he had to decide whether she should.

He had wanted to deal with her immediately, but he wasn't in the frame of mind to. He needed to think, but that at least came with one advantage. It would also give her time to think, which is about all she'd be able to do while being held in the brig.

Now that he finally had a chance to rest and clear his head, he decided to have a talk with the girl. He needed to see where her head was at, and what she learned, if anything. Or if she was as lost as Sam was.

He had her moved from her cell into one of the interrogation rooms. He had her wait there for a few minutes, then finally walked in.

"Miss Katara."

[identity profile] kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com 2009-09-19 11:48 am (UTC)(link)
Katara's mouth went dry, and she had to turn away from Leon for a moment, because it was as if everything had went hazy. She hadn't known any of this about Sam, and chances are, the people that had joined Sam might not know it either. Would she, if knowing all that, had helped him? Would it had been worth killing that Yeerk if it meant sacrificing principals she would have understood? Picard's voice echoes in her head now, the voice of what he'd said to Sam. That he understood why, saw what had been at stake for Sam. At the same time, the people that had been hurt, the ones that hadn't chosen a side, were in med bay now, recovering. Chaucer, for one, Obi Wan, Luke's mentor for another, and Jaime. When she thought of him, of how he would have decided, and what eventually he had been forced to do, Katara understood who's face she saw easily, saw what argument he'd been giving.

Katara's hand went to her mouth, and a small whimper escaped. She wouldn't cry here, couldn't, not now when she needed to be strong. Her breathing wasn't coming out even, and now, in face of that question, Katara made everything stop, and she held the Yeerk ball, staring at the thing that held the life form, the creature of a nightmare she'd only recently learned to fear and hate. With that knowledge, could she do it? With no escape for that slug, could she kill it?

"I wanted to kill it on my own," she said softly to Leon. "I never joined their group, I never was a part of their plans. I did it on my own. Part of me knows if any one of them had killed the Yeerk, they would have done it without regretting it, without feeling bad. I knew that the person who killed it couldn't think like that. They had to do it knowing it would weigh on them, that the life was sacred, and that they could never do anything like that again. I chose because..."

But no, even she knew there was another reason she'd chosen. It had been one, partly, but there ewas another reason shed chosen, one she hadn't let anyone see. She couldn't afford to have it take Aang, she couldn't fail in making sure it wouldn't hurt him. And she couldn't tell that to anyone, because it was too personal. It was like failing in Ba Sing Se all over again but worse, because he was here, somewhere on this ship, and she knew wherever he was, he was suffering, and there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing.

The despair flooded her, and her eyes filled with tears. Her reason...it was passion, it was vengence after all, just like before. She'd wanted to take control and not let her fears take her over, but it had, just in a different way. And now she stared at the Yeerk ball, and had it, and she would kill it. Would she?

"Yes, I'm afraid of it," she said, her voice choked with emotion. "I'm afraid it'll hurt the people I care about. I'm afraid I'll turn my back, that I'll let security handle it, and it will get out and attach itself to someone I love. I'm afraid that..."

You're not strong enough.

Katara closed her eyes, sniffling. "I'm afraid I wouldn't have killed it."

[identity profile] kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com 2009-09-20 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
Katara wiped her face, and took a breath. She was doing her best at this point, and really didn't want to think about exactly why she was starting to crack. She knew well enough that what she was motivated by a feelinng she didn't know how to communicate to soemone who didn't know the particulars, and she may as well have sounded like a crazy person, but a part of her was bursting at the seams now. She knew now why she had wanted to kill the Yeerk, why she'd been able to decide it.

"Its...this place...it took Aang the one that mattered more to me than anyone, and its keeping him here. He's somewhere on this ship, fighting for them, doing what they ask for a reason I don't know. I just wanted to make sure it never hurt him! He's...he's been through so much ,and he almost died and I couldn't do anything to help him then! I had to do something now! Because...if something happens to him, I can't go on!"

She clenched her fists, tears in her eyes. She hated this! Knowing that she let him down somehow, because she chose to help in the killing, even if it meant protecting him. She knew she was wrong, and she knew why now, thanks to, of all people, Roxie.

Because now that dream was clear, and the fire nation clothes made sense. The replica Katara wasn't just a figment, it was a message. The desire to kill without it being the last resort wasn't an attribute of bravery.

It was wanting to kill to prevent a situation that may or may not happen. Something someone Katara didn't want to think about would have done, a person whose name still haunted her because she saw it in her nightmares.

"Azula," Katara said, barely audible.

[identity profile] kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com 2009-09-20 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
Katara took a breath now. She was glad that she finally said it to someone, even though she shouldn't have said it according to Zuko. She was too emotional for that: she definitely knew that now.

"Aang in my world is the Avatar, which means he is the balance of my woirkd because he controls the four elements: water, air, fire and earth. If I knew where Aang was, I'd go there myeslf. I don't know where he is, but I know he's here. You may say I don't have concrete proof, but I know. And if you actually mean that..."

Well. She had no words. How would someone who barely knew her want to help?

[identity profile] kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com 2009-09-20 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
Katara shook her head. "He's here. There was a way he let me know that he knew it was me. He let off a sign that he was around, a sigh that it was only him. Leon, I know it sounds weird but I won't lie. He's the one I care about...more than anyone."

Katara didn't absolve herself. "I just wanted them to be OK. I know he means this, and I know that I wasn't right. But I need you to know that I wanted nothing but the best for them."

[identity profile] kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com 2009-09-20 03:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Teenagers. Leon was fairly predictable about his opinion of non-adults, which still irritated Katara. In this case, annoyingly, he was right and she knew it. She had made this decision based on her emotions, and not only that, it had been a decision she wouldn't have made a week ago. She knew that because she had decided something different at that time, in that dreamscape with Roxie. What she hadn't realized at that time was how relevant it was going to be for her here. She swallowed, trying to calm the panic so she could answer Leon's inquiries.

"Several weeks ago, I was in the statuary: there we found a place similar to an air temple we visited when we were first discovered Aang. When I found out from Zuko that Aang was still here, I got angry...and at that time, the statues glowed. The only time that ever happened was when Aang was in the Avatar state, where his eyes glow and he channels a great amnount of energy from his previous ancestors. There was no way that could have happened unless he was here...and I still have to find out where he is. He knows I'm here."

[identity profile] kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com 2009-09-21 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
Katara nodded. It wasn't much evidence, she knew that. But there was no doubt in her mind that Aang was here: she knew that for sure.

But she really wasn't ready to think about Azula right now.

"Someone I don't want to think about. She was vicious and cruel, the worse person I know. I fought her near the end of the war, and I chained her up before she could do more damage. It was good I did that though: she was only seconds away from electrocuting me with that lightning like she did to Zuko."

And to anyone, it was apparent it was a time Katara didn't like thinking about.

[identity profile] kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com 2009-09-21 01:46 am (UTC)(link)
"Thank you," Katara said softly, wondering what all of this would mean to Leon. For her, she just wanted to curl up and go unconscious. The doubt she was having in her heart, the idea of knowing she might be like that woman, was too much to think about now.

"Of course: mathematics, physics, other religions and any art class. I have to keep up with this ship's technology after all. Why do you ask?"

[identity profile] kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com 2009-09-21 03:36 am (UTC)(link)
Katara nodded. She understood now why this happened, what Leon had wanted. She didn't think she deserved any better treatment than any of the other conspirators, considering why she'd done it, but she was glad he heard her out.

"I'll do my best to keep my studies up," Katara said, then had a genuinely appreciative expression. "Thank you for hearing me out. I know you think I'm a killer, but...I wanted to help the people here. I DO care about them. This was just the wrong way. I know that now."

[identity profile] kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com 2009-09-21 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Katara smiled, and walked with him. She didn't mind that she'd go back, not now: the fact was, she understood now what the inner conflict meant, and what she could do to stop it. What she'd done hadn't been good because it pushed her closer to being a person she didn't want to be.


She did know that she would have to face what she'd done, and Aang might be disappointed with her when he'd find out.

That would be the true punishment.