trans_9 | What if I bleed, What if I break; [Open to anyone in Medbay]

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What if I bleed, What if I break; [Open to anyone in Medbay]

Claire had somehow managed to sleep through quite a lot in the last day and a half. Maybe she would've woken up sooner if she'd had any idea of what was going on around her, but whether it was the drugs or overall fatigue from blood loss and the energy it had taken to keep awake until shed been put under, she slept through the night and most of the day. She came close to waking up a few times, stirring in her sleep or voices pulling her up from her dreams, but she'd slip under again before fully waking.

After a while, she just couldn't sleep anymore, however. She wasn't particularly quick in the waking aspect, of course. She was aware first that she wasn't in her "bed" in the precinct almost immediately. Her stomach felt oddly numb, and slowly she blinked her eyes open, staring up at the ceiling above her, a look of slightly disoriented confusion passing over her face. One hand moved to her stomach, and she felt the bandage there, remembering.

I got shot. The thought was a little disturbingly calm. She briefly considered sitting up to get a better look around her, but there was a dull ache underneath the numbness, and she decided she was pretty good in the position she was currently in, for the moment. She did turn her head, though, when she caught movement in her peripheral vision.

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Claire listened quietly to his explanation, partially because interrupting him would probably end up making this even longer and she was still recovering from a heavy drug-induced sleep. Once he was finally done, her eyes moved back to him, having drifted off towards the wall again.

"Why didn't you tell me?" There were probably a lot of different things she could have said just then, but that was at the forefront. She didn't know if it'd change anything at all, since even if she had known what was happening she would have still likely gone down, but, well. It wasn't like it was some secret government mission he couldn't tell her about. And stupid as it was she felt kind of pissed he hadn't even mentioned he was going to be pulling a fast one on, oh, everyone.

"Because the best way to keep a secret is to keep it to yourself," he answered automatically. For as long as she had been asleep, he had been awake. His brain was still partly on autopilot. "Rule four," he added as an explanation.

He shook it off, explaining further. "It had nothing to do with whether or not I could trust you. That was never the question. But I was neck deep in this, and I didn't even want you on the edge of this, let alone pull you in deeper." Not that it helped any.

"Can take the Agent out of the Service but you can't take the Service out of the Agent," she muttered, eyes drifting away from his face again. As a whole, his job had never bothered her. Just like Chris, she'd understood there were things she just wasn't going to know, because it was a matter of national security. She could still let it annoy her when it felt to her like he was letting it bleed over into his personal life.

"You didn't want me involved? I'd say that kind of backfired," she replied, her tone flat.

"Yeah..." He was annoyed that he let it bleed over into his personal life. This was, honestly, the kind of conversation he had hoped he would never have to have with Claire. That he was now was...

...it was really annoying him.

"Would you have even listened to me had I told you to stay out of it?"

"No," she answered immediately. There wasn't really a question in her mind. "But it would've been nice to know." Granted she probably would've tried to argue him out of it if she'd known in advance. She was typically not okay with putting civilians in the line of fire if it could be avoided at all. Slightly hypocritical since she was technically a civilian and she would be one of the first to run into the line of fire if the need arose.

It just ended up being a more literal sacrifice this time around.

"I know." Whether he meant he knew she wouldn't have listened anyway, or that it would have been nice to know wasn't clear. Maybe he was afraid that she would've been able to argue him out of it, though how things would have panned out afterward would be anyone's guess.

"I'm still getting use to all of... this," he admitted.

Claire's frown held for a moment longer before her look softened slightly at his admittance. She looked back at him, before lifting her hand up and lightly smacking his cheek.

"You're not alone, you stupid jerk." There wasn't any malice in her voice, it was more like a gentle reminder.

He grabbed her hand after she smacked him and, well, he just held on to it for the moment.

"Yeah, I know." And he was glad for that. "It's not something I'd ever forget. I just have to do a better job of reconciling who I am and what I am with where I am."

She was okay with him hanging onto her hand so she made no motion to pull away, actually finally smiling again, a little.

"Well, no one here knows you better than me. So whatever I can help with." She just didn't like feeling like she was being blocked out of things she didn't necessarily need to be blocked out of.

They would probably differ in opinion of what she needed to be blocked out of. But he'd worry about that later. For now, he was just glad to see her smiling again.

"For now, you can just give me one less thing to worry about and actually do whatever the docs tell you to do." Claire could be a horrible patient sometimes, and he didn't want to hear about how she had worsened her injury by making an escape attempt.

She rolled her eyes, giving him a withering look.

"I don't plan on being difficult," she replied. Of course, that was hardly a guarantee she'd behave herself. She just tended to underestimate her own limits.

"But you still plan on being you," he stated with a smile. Claire tended to do everything full throttle. "Just take it easy for now."

Claire wrinkled her nose at him, resisting the urge to stick out her tongue.

"You really know me too well," she replied, heaving a heavy sigh. "Okay, I'll take it easy. Just as long as you do too. Have you relaxed at all since yesterday?"

He couldn't help but chuckle at her. It was always cute when she did that.

"You've been relaxing enough for the both of us." Therefore, he didn't need to. Perfectly reasonable logic for pushing past well over forty hours awake.

"Uh-huh," she replied, twisting her lips to the side. Reaching up with her left hand since he was still holding onto her right she punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"Well I'm awake, now. So relax."

"I will." The word 'eventually' went unspoken. "I just have some loose ends to tie up first.

"But I will get some rest," he assured her. He didn't want her to hurt herself hitting him.

"Sometime today?" she prodded, arching her eyebrows at him. "I don't want to hear from Sherry later you passed out in the middle of a hallway somewhere."

Leon made a 'pfft' noise. "I'm not in danger from passing out unless I've been up at least eighty hours straight." Don't ask how he actually knows that.

"I'll try to catch a nap, though. If it'll make you feel better," he teased.

"That would make me feel much better," she replied, grinning a little in spite of herself. She squeezed his hand, dropping the other back down to her stomach. She knew she probably wasn't going to get anything closer to a promise than that, unless she asked him to pull up one of the empty beds so she could monitor him and make sure he was sleeping. And something about that thought was a little awkward for her, so she changed the subject.

"How's Sherry doing?"

He looked down when she squeezed his hand, almost as if he just realized he had been holding it all that time. He was still somewhat reluctant to let it go, but eased up some if she wanted to pull away, she could.

"She's worried about you, but she's hanging in there. She's a lot tougher than most people realize."

Claire was content to hold onto his hand for the moment, so she made no move to pull her hand from his. There was just something comforting to her in the small gesture, and while she wouldn't say it out loud it was nice to have that comfort right now.

"She survived Raccoon," Claire said quietly. "I know she's tough."

He was glad she didn't let go. She wasn't the only one who found a bit of comfort in that small gesture.

"Yeah..." He looked at Claire a little curiously as a thought hit him, then his lips settled into a smile. "I think she gets it from her mother."

She laughed a little at that, running a hand back over her hair and seemingly for the first time realizing someone had unbound her hair while she'd been asleep. She started arbitrarily working her fingers through her hair, in an attempt to work out any tangles that might've presented themselves while she slept in addition to giving her something to do while she returned Leon's smile.

"Probably. Although I guess her Dad's pretty tough, too."

He watched her run her fingers through her hair and his brain kind of stopped for a moment. It took him a few seconds to realize that she had even answered him. Maybe he did need some rest.

"Uh... yeah."

Smooth, Leon. Smooth.

"We've gotten good at this parenting thing, haven't we?"

Claire noticed the somewhat distracted answer Leon gave her, if only because she was looking right at him and she'd expected a slightly more egotistical answer out of him, so she gave him a funny look, trying to parse out what had suddenly derailed him. She would've asked, but his recovery distracted her, and she smiled a little, the funny look melting away.

"Yeah. It was kind of weird at first, and we're hardly a conventional family, but I think she's happy." She didn't have much to compare it to, in regards to Sherry's past with her own family, but it had been fairly obvious that Annette and William had never been the most attentive parents.

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