Choose your destiny! Flawless victory! [Inevitable Tournament Arc]

[meat_mooks]

No sooner did the Obs Deck descend to Arena Planet LXIII, and the crew allowed to disembark, than they were met by a veritable cloud swarm of cameras. Sleek, elegant things that might have been living, might have been machines, maybe were even magical... but were definitely nuisances as the swooped around to capture video of the crew at all conceivable angles, close up and far away. Their every move from this point on would be on camera.

In front of a small crowd of retainers stood what appeared to be a great circular orb whose only distinguishing features were a nose, and what appeared to be the most overblown mustache ever, which actually appeared to be supporting that two-foot-diameter orb at shoulder height to a tall man. Then the orb took a couple of steps forward,revealing that no, those were actually just really, really hairy legs. A seam cracked open on the creature, and in a voice loud enough to echo across the broad open plains without any need for amplification, it bellowed, "AND NOW! STRAIGHT FROM THE TRANSMIGRATION NINE VESSEL! OUR NEWEST COMPETITORS! FRESH TO THE STAGE OF BATTLE, BUT NO STRANGERS TO WAR--"

It went on like this for some time.

Under cover of this introduction, a small man that to all appearances seemed to be the love child of Richard Nixon and a particularly aggressive Furby stepped forward, and in a bored businesslike tone recited, "Welcome to the tournament. There will be one battle per day. The arena in which you battle will be determined by random draw. Our medical crew will perform all healing necessary and ensure no deaths so feel free to not hold back. Please refrain from accepting any bribes or favors from on-planet spectators--"

"--ARE YOU READY?!" the orb bellowed even louder than before, completely swamping the smaller man's recitation. "THEN STEP THIS WAY!"

And so saying, the orb and its procession began a clearly well-choreographed procession towards a large, medieval-looking fortress that hung dramatically just on the edge of clear vision. (Conveniently, this procession passed several large advertisements.)

Comments

[meat_mooks]

The knight the good doctor was facing sneered. "You are just a stepping stone on my path to victory! But I suppose you'll be the perfect chance to try out..."

Way, way, way too dramatically, Damaramu flung aside the cloak that had been covering his body. Beneath it, his metallic body gleamed brilliantly in the sun. "...the new body I had custom-built for me by Blacksmith Tony! I, Damaramu, shall not regret this!"

[doctorbatman]

Doc shielded his eyes briefly from the glare. Metal body. Great. There went those torso pressure points he'd been hoping to use. Oh well, no matter, all that gear was just going to slow him down probably...

"My parents are already about as ashamed of me as they can get, but they would refuse to admit I was their son if I lost to a guy in that gettup." he quipped, unsheathing his sword from where it rested on his back and falling into ready stance. "Sorry buddy, you are heading down the road to regret starting now."

[meat_mooks]

"Ra ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Behold the arsenal that will be your undoing! The wrist mounted machine gun!"

Damaramu made a fist, then pointed at a nearly pillar of rock. From notches on his arms, bullets flew, chewing apart the rock like so much cheese.

"The one million watt laser!"

Putting his fingers to his temples, Damaramu looked up to the ceiling of the lava chamber. A brilliant beam of light lanced out, severing a stalactite from the ceiling to crash into the lava below.

"The ultimate steel reinforced legs... and the WATER PISTOL FINGER GUN!"

Damaramu pointed at Dr. McNinja, and from the tip of his finger burst a feeble stream of water that went maybe two feet before falling to the stone platform.

[doctorbatman]

"...right." Doc said slowly, watching the water puddling feebly at Damaramu's feet.

"Well, uh, I got this sword here." he said with a smile, flipping the blade in his grip before darting across the stadium floor with ninja-worthy swiftness.

With a woosh of wind he was behind his opponent, sword in finishing pose over his shoulder. "3,2,1..."

Damaramu would find that his pants and lower armor were in a heap at his feet, what with all his waistbands being neatly sliced apart. Nice boxers, bro.

[meat_mooks]

"Ra ha ha ha ha! Drop my pants all you like!" For despite the boxers, even Damaramu's body was metal beneath his clothes. Truly it was a full armor body replacement!

"Taste the wrath of my fists of steel!" he said, turning to hurl a punch at the doctor.

[doctorbatman]

Oh snap, okay, time for seriousness. Doc dodged out of the path of the punch, ducking beneath the blow to shoulder his opponent hard in the gut, aiming to topple him but also wanting to guage how much his strike would actually damage the guy.

[meat_mooks]

Not much, it seems! Damaramu took two steps backwards, then lifted his arm to unload a furious volley of machine gun fire to annihilate his foe --

The machine gun ports clicked audibly.

"Out of... ammo?"

[doctorbatman]

Doc winced - holy hell that was going to bruise later - but the first empty click of the gun brought his attention around again to Damaramu. He hesitated, then snickered audibly.

"Rapid firing DOES tend to result in running out quick, doesn't it?"

The Doc grinned, lunging forward and swiping with his blade, katana connecting, trying to cleave through the forearm of Damaramu's laser-armed hand in one hard strike.

[meat_mooks]

"I wasted too much ammo showing off! I, Damaramu, shall surely regret this!" he shrieked. He swiftly yanked his hand away, then darted backwards, one fist raised. "Taste the shining power of Damaramu's METAL FIST OF JUST--"

Mid-swing, the armor on his body hissed and his motion stopped abruptly.

"...Out of... gas?"

[doctorbatman]

Doc didn't make the slightest effort to conceal his giddy laughter, raising from his guarded crouch and pushing firmly on Damaramu's chest, toppling him over while still frozen in mid-motion.

"Ahahaha!" Doc gasped to catch his breath as he straightened up fully and sheathed his weapon, grinning at the man now struggling in his armor shell.

"Out of gas! That's classic!

[meat_mooks]

"This isn't over yet! I, Damaramu, have an ally to fight for me! MECHA-ROSHIIIIIIIII!"

With a harsh, metallic cry, the robotic bird descended from above with a dramatic gleam, wind rushing through its intakes and over its steel wings as it lanced its way towards the Doctor.

It promptly landed on his shoulder and started pecking annoyingly at his head. Seriously, parrots outweighed this thing.

"Damn, Blacksmith Tony sure did a shitty job!"